Wonderwall

  “What is it?” My stomach is already in knots. I’m afraid to know.

  “Gretchen commissioned a gift for Sebastian, and Patsy was supposed to pick it up today. But the place is in Arundel. It’s about two hours from London. You’ll have to drive there.”

  “Drive? I don’t own a car. Can’t I take the train?” The thought of driving on the wrong side of the road terrifies me. I was never one prone to panic attacks, but I think I’m about to have one right now.

  “No, you can’t take public transportation. The gift is a piece of art and it’s big. Patsy said you can borrow her Land Rover. It’s parked in the hotel’s garage.”

  I wonder for a second why Patsy’s car is here at the Hollingsworth, but it’s a moot point trying to understand her weird habits. “You’re joking, right?” I say.

  “Does it look like I’m joking? Here’s the address.” Mellie gives me a piece of paper and I just stare at it, trying to come up with another solution that doesn’t involve me driving Patsy’s car. I’m gonna crash it, I know I will.

  “You better go right now. You’re bound to encounter major traffic thanks to the shitty weather outside.”

  Frigging fantastic. Not only do I have to drive my boss’s very expensive car, it has to be on the day that it’s raining cats and dogs. The fact that I have to collect a special gift Sebastian’s girlfriend commissioned for him is not even fazing me right now.

  “Ask one of the valet guys to get Patsy’s car for you.” Mellie leaves the office without a second glance my direction.

  Resigned, I put my coat on, grab my purse, and make my way to the Hollingsworth’s main entrance. As I wait for the car, I try to calm my nerves. A million years ago, I learned how to drive a stick, but I never actually owned a manual car. This is a recipe for disaster. I’m sweating already and the temperature must be below fifty. I should just take a cab, but the round trip will cost my entire salary. It’s better than dying, though.

  The valet guy comes back with Patsy’s Rover and hands me the keys. I stand paralyzed next to the car, fear crippling me.

  “Liv?”

  I close my eyes for a second and my hands curl into fists. No. I must be hearing things. Slowly, I turn around, and sure enough, Sebastian is standing a couple of feet away from me.

  “What are you doing here?” he asks.

  Without thinking, I answer him. “I work here.”

  His eyes widen and his jaw drops. “As a valet girl?”

  His condescending tone aggravates me. “None of your business. Now if you excuse me, I have some place to be.” I make a move to get into the car, but Sebastian’s hand on my arm stops me.

  “Where are you going?”

  “Sebastian, I don’t have time for this. I must get to Arundel and back before the day is over and hope not to die in the process.”

  He leans closer to me to peer inside the car. I get a good whiff of his expensive cologne, and hell and damn if it doesn’t make my legs turn into jelly.

  “Whose car is this?” he asks.

  “My boss’s.”

  He turns to me and I’m acutely aware how dangerously close his mouth is to mine. “Do you even know how to drive a manual shift?”

  I take a step back and cross my arms. “Yes, I do. Owen taught me.”

  “So, he’s still in the picture, huh?”

  Sebastian’s curiosity about my life is making my head spin. Why does he care after all these years? Is this the same guy who accused me of stalking him a few weeks ago? I should just tell him to get lost and continue on my suicide mission, but for some reason, I want to answer all of his questions.

  “Yes, very much so. He’s my brother-in-law now.”

  Sebastian looks at the rain, then back at the car. Before I can stop him, he gets behind the steering wheel and glances at me. “Get in. I’ll drive you to Arundel.”

  “You can’t be serious.”

  He pierces me with his killer stare, a stare that tells me I don’t have a choice. I sense people around have taken notice of us, more precisely, they have taken notice of the very famous singer sitting inside the car. The last thing I want is to cause a commotion. So before any fan can approach him, I get in the SUV, knowing that my heart will probably not survive the journey.

  ☂ ☂ ☂

  Sebastian

  I don’t know if I should laugh or curse the Gods. I went to the Hollingsworth with every intention to look for Liv, but never imagined that fate would make it so easy for me.

  I haven’t been able to get her out of my mind since our encounter at the Dijng. Finding out where she worked had been easy enough. Staying away from the place for all these weeks, not so much.

  Today, I lost the fight, and now I’m stuck inside a car with her for at least a couple of hours. My heart hasn’t stopped beating like it wants to find a way out, and I have fucking butterflies in my stomach. What am I? Twelve?

  Liv hasn’t uttered a single word since giving me the address of an art studio in Arundel. She’s looking out the window with her arms crossed. I peer at her several times, trying to guess what’s going on in her head, but I can’t. I used to be able to read her like a book and the realization that I’ve lost my special power crushes me.

  I put on the radio to fill in the silence, and Kelly Clarkson’s voice barrels through the speakers. Dear God. I switch stations on the spot, but Liv puts it back on Kelly.

  “I like this song,” she says.

  I grind my jaw. Since You’ve Been Gone is playing, and no one can accuse me of being self-centered for thinking Liv is sending me a message. I hear it loud and clear. She has moved on. So what the hell am I doing here?

  “What’s in Arundel?”

  She sighs. “A piece of art one of our clients commissioned for a party we’re organizing.”

  “So, you’re not a valet girl.”

  Of course I know she isn’t, but irritating her is the only way I can get her to talk to me.

  “No, Sebastian. I’m not a valet girl. I work in the events department. Happy?” I sense her glare and her annoyance fires up something in me. I can still push her buttons. Maybe not all is lost.

  “How did that happen? I mean, I don’t remember you ever showing interest in that kind of stuff.”

  I peer at Liv and find her staring at me through slits. “Lots of things can change in five years.”

  They sure can. While other things remain the same, no matter how much I want them to be different. Like my feelings for her. I wish I could be free of them since I can no longer have her love. But it seems I will be bound to Liv for all eternity. That’s my punishment, to never stop loving the woman I left behind.

  A minute passes before she speaks again.

  “Why are you helping me, Sebastian?”

  I can’t tell her the truth. I can’t tell Liv that being near her after all these years is as vital to me as air. She will think I’ve lost my mind. And she’ll be right.

  “Who says I’m helping you? This is a public service. I don’t want you causing an accident.”

  “Unbelievable. Are you only doing this to aggravate me? What’s your damage?”

  “I’m kidding. Gee, relax. I thought it would be nice to catch up. And I’ve always wanted to visit Arundel. I heard it’s a very co—”

  “Wait a second. You came to the Hollingsworth looking for me?”

  I suck my lips in. I’m tempted to come up with a convoluted story, but fuck it, I’m tired of lying.

  “Yes.”

  “Are you for real?”

  “What?” I take my eyes off the road again only to be blasted by her furious glare. It makes me want to do things to her I have no business thinking about. Not when she’s clearly with someone else and I have a girlfriend.

  Gretchen. She doesn’t deserve this. I guess I didn’t leave the bastard from my a
nger phase behind after all. He’s still alive and kicking.

  Liv breaks our staring contest first. I turn my attention to the road, but I’m still reeling inside. The guilt I feel about Gretchen is smothered to death by the need to be near Liv, the need to hear her voice, even if she’s telling me to go to hell. But she’s not talking now. Her silence is heavy, it’s a mountain between us. It doesn’t deter me though. The desire to know all I’ve missed in her life since I left Littleton surpasses everything, even my pride.

  “So, how’s your family?” I ask.

  “They’re fine.” She answers without missing a beat and I’m surprised, happily surprised. I continue.

  “When did Kimmy and Owen get hitched?”

  “Last year.” There’s a pause and I glance at her once more. A tiny smile appears on her lips. “They’re pregnant. My niece or nephew will be here in December.”

  “Really? That’s awesome. I hope it’s a girl.”

  “Why?”

  I grin at her. “Because Owen deserves the pain. I want to see him suffer when his daughter starts to date.”

  Liv’s smile broadens and warmth floods my heart, knowing I put it there.

  ☂ ☂ ☂

  I never thought I would be thankful for bad weather and traffic, but I am. It takes us over two hours to reach Arundel, and in that time, I’m able to collect little pieces of Liv. Is it enough to satiate my hunger? Not by far. It only makes me want more. But there are things I’m not ready to know, will never be ready to know. Like who was the limo guy and how long did it take for her to forget me, to forget us.

  It’s still pouring when we get to the art studio. Liv turns to me. “You can stay in the car.”

  “Nah, I’m curious.”

  There’s a flash of apprehension in her eyes. “No, really. Stay. I’ll be in and out in a flash.”

  I realize that Liv is not trying to be nice. She doesn’t want me to go in for some reason. Is it the art work she doesn’t want me to see? That just peaks my curiosity more. I get out of the car and run for cover. A second later, Liv does the same. I wait for her just outside of the studio, under a tree. It doesn’t do much to protect me from the rain. She pauses when she reaches me, her gaze connecting with mine. And I want to kiss her. Badly. I’m about to give in to the impulse, when she walks around me, and disappears inside.

  I follow her in, and I’m blasted with a mix of strong smells—fresh paint, and old, musty furniture. My nose itches, and I fight the urge to sneeze. It’s definitely not what I expected from an art studio. It looks more like a second hand art supply shop with its narrow and overflowing rows of things I suspect an aspiring artist would need. To my left, the entire wall is dedicated to display different types of frames.

  Liv walks toward the counter at the far end, and a few seconds later, an older man appears through a side door. “Can I help you?”

  “Hi, my name is Olivia Dawson. I’m here on behalf of Miss Gretchen Smith to pick up the painting.”

  I freeze and grapple with what I just heard. What. The. Fuck. Why is Liv running an errand for Gretchen?

  The man’s gaze settles on me, and I see a bout of recognition in his eyes. He cannot possibly know who I am. He doesn’t strike me as the type of guy who follows gossip magazines or listens to pop music.

  “Very well, follow me,” he says and disappears again through the side door.

  We do as he says and reach an open space that clearly serves as a storage room for his art. There are paintings spread out everywhere, most of them depicting classical portraits.

  “I haven’t had the chance to pack it up yet,” the old man mumbles.

  Liv stops in her tracks and turns to me. “Maybe you should stay here.”

  “Why?”

  She bites her lower lip, and looks down. “You aren’t supposed to see this.”

  Oh, fuck. Now I must see it. I walk around her and I reach the art studio’s owner in a few strides. He’s standing next to a painting almost three feet high. For a split second I wonder how in the world we’ll fit that monstrosity in the car, but then my eyes finally see the painting. I’m staring at a picture of Gretchen and me, dressed like we’ve just sprung from a Jane Austen novel. It’s the most atrocious thing I’ve ever seen.

  Liv makes a strangled sound and I look over my shoulder. She’s covering her mouth with her hand, trying to suppress her laughter.

  “I have no words,” I say.

  She finally lets go and her loud laugh echoes in the room. Liv’s amusement is contagious and soon I find myself laughing too. What was in Gretchen’s mind? And where did she think I would hang that thing? The artist frowns at us and that only makes us laugh harder.

  “I’ll go get the packing supplies,” he grumbles.

  After the giggles die down, I manage to ask her what the heck is going on.

  “Gretchen hired our department to throw you a surprise birthday party at the Hollingsworth. And I’m assuming that is one of your gifts,” she answers.

  ☂ ☂ ☂

  Olivia

  “This will never fit. I say we leave it behind. I don’t wanna anyway,” Sebastian whines.

  “Shut up, and help me.” I wiggle the painting as I push it inside the trunk. I can see there’s still plenty of room for it, but somehow, it’s sticking out of the car and it won’t budge forward. One of the corners must have gotten stuck to something. I’m soaked to the bone trying to load his stupid gift and all Sebastian is doing is complain.

  Begrudgingly, he moves to the backseat of the Rover and begins to pull the painting toward him. I feel the mysterious resistance give way, and the piece of art finally slides all the way in. I remove my coat before I get into the car, as it’s not doing anything besides freezing me to the core. The knit dress I’m wearing underneath is damp, but it’s not like I can ride back into town wearing nothing more than my underwear.

  I wriggle my hair and big droplets of water fall to floor. I must look like a drowned harassed rat now. Thank God I’m not wearing mascara today. Sebastian takes the driver’s seat and turns the heating up to the max. The jacket he was wearing before is gone and the long sleeved shirt he has on makes me want to straddle him and find out if his kiss is still as incendiary as before. I look away. I have no business feeling this way. Just because we can still get along perfectly as if time haven’t gone by, it doesn’t mean I can forget all the hurt he has inflicted.

  We drive in silence for about thirty minutes and in that time, I think about all the strong female heroines that I admire. I can feel myself being sucked into the vortex that is Sebastian and I can’t allow that to happen. I want to kill the butterflies going nuts in my belly. I imagine what Scarlett O’Hara or Faith from Buffy would do, and none of them would sit quietly next to the boy who destroyed their hearts without an explanation.

  “Why did you leave?” My voice is weak, almost a whisper. So much for being strong.

  “Excuse me?”

  I take a deep breath and try again, with more conviction this time. “Why did you leave me without a word? Did I mean so little to you?”

  Sebastian doesn’t answer right away and I peer at this profile. His jaw is clenched, and if I could look into his eyes, I bet I would see a storm brewing there. His reaction fires up my veins. He has no right to be upset at my question. My eyes begin to burn and I look out the window, fighting the angry tears.

  “Your silence says it all,” I say.

  “Don’t talk about things you don’t understand.”

  I whip my face to him again. “I would if you explained them to me.”

  “It doesn’t matter right now. Does it? You’ve moved on, I’ve moved on. Let’s leave the past in the past.”

  “When did you become such a coward?”

  My phone rings before he can reply. I pick it up and see Ryan’s name flashing on the screen. Perfect t
iming.

  “Hi, Ryan.” I force a smile to my lips even though all I want to do is cry. But hell if I’m gonna do that in front of Sebastian.

  “Lunch tomorrow sounds perfect. I can’t wait to see you.” I put an extra layer of sugar in my voice.

  I can feel Sebastian glaring at me. A real smile unfurls this time, an ugly smile that has nothing to do with being happy. Without glancing his way, I say, “Better watch the road, Sebastian.”

  Chapter 28

  Olivia

  Sebastian didn’t say a word to me after Ryan’s call. We made the two-hour trip back wrapped in a smothering silence. As soon as we stopped in front of the Hollingsworth, he scrambled out of the car, and disappeared inside a cab that had just dropped off some guests. He didn’t say good-bye either.

  Watching him leave like that left me feeling small, insignificant, crushed. I cried to sleep last night. I’m not the heroine of the story, I’m the dumb blonde who gets killed in the first scene of a slasher movie. I can’t tell Saylor or anyone else about this last encounter. I’m too ashamed that I let Sebastian trample all over my heart again.

  Ryan is supposed to pick me up for lunch at noon, and now I regret agreeing to the idea. I haven’t had the chance to tell Lloyd yet. I don’t want him to get the wrong impression. I’m finishing up compiling a list of flower suppliers when Mellie comes into the office and collapses into her chair.

  “I’m beat. I need a cig and a drink.”

  “Already? It’s only Tuesday,” I tease. I know how hard she’s been working these past few weeks.

  “I know. I’ll look like a zombie on Saturday. Oh, you’re helping, by the way. No need to thank me.”

  I glance at her and she’s grinning.

  “What?” I squeak.

  “You’ll be stationed at the greeting table, making sure only people on the list get in. You’ll meet a ton of celebrities. We usually hire models for such occasions, but Patsy didn’t think Gretchen would like that idea. So I suggested you and Lloyd. He’s over the moon, of course.”

  My jaw drops and my brain can’t come up with anything to say.

  Mellie doesn’t notice my panicked expression. “Oh, are you free for dinner tomorrow at my house? I know that I’ve postponed that a million times, but I think we deserve a break. Simon, the darling that he is, offered to cook. Lloyd is coming too.”