by Ali Dean
Thankfully, while we are meeting two more times, they aren’t nearly as demanding as the morning tempo run. We get a tour of the weight room, but we don’t actually lift weights, and then we all go to a yoga class. I’m already familiar with the weight room, since Brockton Public athletes get access to UC facilities, but I’ve never actually been to a yoga class. My former high school teammate, Claire Padilla, used to have yoga DVDs we’d follow sometimes, but the class is way more intense that what I’ve done before.
When we hit Chapman Hall for dinner, I’m dead on my feet but excited to see Jace. We haven’t made any plans to see each other, and I know he wants me to be able to spend time with the girls on the team. To my dismay, Jace isn’t at the cafeteria with the rest of his teammates. I swallow my disappointment and join the cross table. Tonight, the guys’ team is intermingled with the girls, and there are three different tables to choose from.
Lexi beckons me to a seat beside her, and I find myself sitting between her and my ex-boyfriend.
“Hey, Ryan.” My voice is uncertain. We haven’t exchanged even a hello since I joined his team yesterday.
“Hi, Pepper.” Ryan’s greeting is reserved, not as welcoming as he typically is.
I can tell Lexi is studying us, trying to understand what’s going on. She knows that Ryan Harding was my boyfriend at one point. Last fall, after Ryan broke up with his girlfriend at the time, he started spending more time with me. One on one time. Plus, rumors were flying that he broke up with Lisa Delany because he still had feelings for me. Jace didn’t like us spending time together. He wasn’t a jerk about it, but I knew it wasn’t cool for Ryan to be hanging around me like he was, whether or not he wanted more than friendship. When I told Ryan that it was probably best we maintain some space, given I had a boyfriend and he was my ex, he took it to an extreme. He’s barely acknowledged my existence since. I don’t know what I expected. I suppose I hoped we’d maintain a friendly acquaintance, but I guess that’s not so easy.
Now that we’re going to be seeing each other again on a regular basis, we need to figure out how it’s going to be between us. I don’t want to ignore each other. It feels so cold. We aren’t enemies and we shouldn’t act like it.
“How was your tempo run today?” I ask him. Talking about running is safe.
“Not bad,” he responds dismissively. Okay then. So that’s how it’s going to be.
Brax Hilton pipes in from across the table. “Harding and I battled it out that last mile. You put up a good fight, man,” he says, raising his glass, “but you can’t take me yet. Maybe someday,” he taunts.
Ryan chuckles. “You know I just let you win, Brax. You get all moody when you don’t. I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”
Guys can tease each other like this but girl teammates can’t. Girls are too sensitive, I guess. I envy guys sometimes for how easily things roll off their backs. Of course, guys can be sensitive sometimes too, I’m reminded, as Ryan continues to ignore me throughout dinner.
Lexi tells me, “You know, Coach Harding had us do that same tempo run on the first day last year, and I guess the year before that too.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Yeah, I did it last year before I got injured, and got my ass kicked. Don’t worry though, not all of our workouts are that brutal. It’s just a chance to gauge where everyone’s at going in to the season. You did awesome, dude,” she reassures me, punching me lightly on the shoulder. It’s what I suspected, then.
“Workouts will be a lot harder than what you were used to at Brockton Public,” Ryan adds. Despite acting like he was ignoring me, he was listening to our conversation.
“Oh? Should I be worried?” It sounded like a warning, but Ryan’s tone is hard for me to read now. Usually he’s so simple and easy to interpret.
“You’ll just need to be honest with yourself about what you can handle. You don’t want to get injured again.” He says all this without looking at me and then returns to his sandwich. Again, I can’t tell if he’s trying to be nice and helpful, or if he intended that comment as a dig.
I study him for a moment. He’s let his hair grow out to nearly chin length, but at the moment, it’s pulled back with what appears to be a cut-out shirt sleeve. It’s an edgy look. Maybe even a little hipster. He’s changed. And not just physically.
Thoughts of Ryan, and how I’m going to deal with him as my teammate, are forgotten when Jace knocks on our dorm suite door later that night. Gina answers, and when I hear his voice I poke my head out of my bedroom door. Gina is stuttering, and the standoffish attitude she’s displayed since I met her has dropped. When Jace sees me he grins, and it’s all I can do not to drag him into my room and slam the door on my roommates. It’s only been a day, but I missed him.
Jace steps around Gina and approaches me. “Are you going to invite me in?” he asks, and I don’t miss the intent behind his question.
Glancing briefly behind him, I shoot Gina a small smile and then I do tug him into my bedroom and shut the door behind me.
This is the first time I’ve had him alone in my new room, and a feisty possessiveness comes over me. I place my hand on his chest and push him back onto my bed. He watches me with hooded eyes and curiosity.
I tap my chin thoughtfully. “I’ve been waiting all day to get you alone.”
“Oh?” Jace is already breathing heavily, and I know he’s been waiting all day for this as well.
“Yup.” I nod knowingly. “I think you should take this off,” I say suggestively, tugging at his cotton tee shirt.
Without a word he pulls it over his head and tosses it aside. Boldly, I slip my hands beneath the waistband of his sweatpants and boxer briefs, and tug the material hard. And just like that, the most beautifully sculpted man is resting sans clothing on my bed.
After a moment watching him, just appreciating the sight, Jace draws my attention back to his face. “I’m starting to feel a little self-conscious here, Pepper,” he says.
“You don’t look very self-conscious,” I reply, my eyes drifting back to the center of his body. “Proud and alert are more accurate adjectives, don’t you think?”
With a growl, Jace tugs me onto the bed with him, and it doesn’t take long before we’ve made my new bedroom our own. After spending plenty of time at Jace’s dorm last school year, I’m used to staying quiet. No need to make my new roommates uncomfortable. Just knowing Jace is in here with me probably has them in a tizzy already.
Afterward, we lie under the covers, and I’m overwhelmed with a deep exhaustion that is thoroughly satisfying. I love the way my body feels after a hard workout, and with the yoga on top of it, my muscles are beat but loose. With Jace’s warm body beside me, I know I’ll sleep well. College is looking pretty great so far.
Chapter 3
“Where were you at dinner last night?” I ask groggily the next morning. Jace is shuffling around the room, looking for his clothes. I’d forgotten to ask him this question last night.
“Dinner with Mom,” he tells me as he pulls on his sweatpants.
I take a moment to admire his chest and abs before he pulls his tee shirt over his head. The football team is meeting for practice even earlier than the cross team. It’s still dark outside, and I’m happy I get to stay in bed another hour.
“How’s Annie?” I ask on a yawn. Annie had abandoned Jace when he was a toddler but returned over a year ago. She was young and addicted to drugs when she left, and apparently hasn’t touched drugs since she returned. For a long time, I didn’t trust her. But she’s been a good mom to Jace since she came back, and I don’t think he can help loving her.
I know that deep down, Jace always dreamed she’d come back, apologize for leaving, and make up for it. So far, she has done just that.
“She’s good. Seeing a guy, actually.” Jace’s brows furrow when he says this.
“Yeah? Have you met him?”
“I’m supposed to meet him tonight. Do you want to come?”
“O
f course,” I agree. I’m not keen on missing dinners with the team during preseason, but this is a big deal. Annie hasn’t dated anyone since she moved back to Brockton. At least, no one she’s told Jace about. It must be pretty serious if she wants to introduce the guy to her son.
“She seems pretty into him,” Jace says with a shrug, but I can see through his effort at nonchalance. He’s worried. I don’t know if that’s because he’s worried the guy isn’t good enough for Annie, or if he’s worried she’ll stop caring as much about her relationship with her son.
Jace leans over to kiss me goodbye before heading out. We haven’t made plans for when we’ll see each other next, but now that we’re both students at UC, I don’t need to worry. We’re busy with practices, but we’ll definitely see each other soon.
Before I can fall back asleep, Lexi pops her head into my room.
“Morning, sunshine,” she greets me.
“It’s not morning yet, go away,” I half-heartedly protest.
“Oh please, I saw your boy leaving just now so I know I didn’t wake you.” Lexi sits on the edge of my bed.
“So much for going back to sleep,” I grumble as I prop myself up on my elbow. “What are you doing up?”
She winks at me. “Woke up early from my sleepover. Wanna grab some breakfast? That way we’ll have time to digest before running.”
“Wait. Back up. Sleepover?”
“Yeah,” she says on a sigh. “Brax Hilton. We messed around a few times last spring and I guess we’re doing it again.”
“Oh, that’s cool. He seems like a good guy,” I comment, because I’m not sure how to read the situation. It doesn’t sound like she’s in love with him, but she did just have a sleepover. I’ll never understand casual hookups.
Lexi laughs. “Brax is sweet, and sure, I guess he’s a good guy, but he’s a total flirt.”
“You’re okay with that?” I wonder.
“Oh yeah, I knew what he was all about the first time we made out. He’s not the kind of guy who’s looking for a girlfriend. And to be honest, I’m not looking for a boyfriend either. Freedom and independence in college and all that,” she says with a wave of her hand.
“Hey, I feel plenty free and independent with my boyfriend,” I point out.
“Puh-lease, you two are a total exception. Anyone who looks at you two can see you’re crazy about each other. But most people don’t have that, and it’s not worth having a serious relationship in college for some lukewarm feelings, you know? I had a boyfriend in high school, so I’m not opposed to the whole monogamy thing. Now’s just not the time for it. Unless I find me a Jace Wilder to looooooove,” she teases, pushing me lightly on the shoulder so I fall back onto my pillow. “Get dressed, girl, I’m starved.”
As I pull on some sweats and sneakers, it dawns on me that Lexi has made herself my new best friend. Because only best friends show up and sit on each other’s beds at the crack of dawn, chatting about sleepovers. And I’m okay with that. Lexi reminds me of my other best girlfriend, Zoe. For starters, they both have way too much energy first thing in the morning. A small wave of nostalgia hits me thinking that Zoe is now relegated to my high school bestie, and we’ll both have new college besties. She’s not being replaced, not exactly, but the loss of seeing her every day still tugs at me. There’s a grief and mourning process involved in this college transition that no one warned me about. Sure, I’m still in Brockton, my hometown, but my life is changing rapidly, and I’m leaving the old one behind.
When we load our trays at the cafeteria and head toward the tables I’ve come to recognize as the cross country team’s section, we see Brax, Ryan, and another guy I recognize from the cross team are already there.
“What’s up, guys?” Lexi places her tray down, not even looking at Brax. He watches her as he takes a sip of coffee.
“Yo, Pepper Jones, I’m Zeb,” the one guy I haven’t met puts his hand out and introduces himself.
“Nice to meet you,” I say with a smile.
“Heard you rocked the tempo run, well done,” Zeb says on a nod.
“Uh, thanks.” I’m not used to team gossip about workouts. But I get the feeling the tempo run is an initiation of sorts on the UC team.
“Thanks for the alarm clock at five AM, Lexi,” Ryan says with a knowing smirk.
Lexi sputters on her orange juice when his comment sinks in. She glances at Brax, her cheeks reddening. Brax doesn’t seem fazed. He just grins and takes another sip of coffee.
“Let’s try to keep the moaning under wraps before seven AM going forward, cool?” Ryan adds.
Lexi responds by punching him on the shoulder, and Ryan winces.
Zeb laughs. “I guess the sex noises don’t drift down to the first floor. I only got the springs squeaking.”
“Oh my gawd.” Lexi covers her face with her hands. “No one ever told me the yellow house has paper-thin walls.”
Brax turns to me. “The yellow house has been the guys’ cross house for years. Eight of us live there.”
“Eight cross guys in one house, huh?” I grasp the opportunity to change the subject, because it’s probably making me almost as uncomfortable as Lexi. I’m not used to talking about sex so openly like this. “No drama?”
“Drama? Nah, guys don’t do drama. A hell of a lot of stinky laundry though,” Brax says.
“I can only imagine,” I murmur.
If Lexi was trying to keep her fling – or whatever it is – with Brax quiet, she failed. I’m sure the whole cross team, guys and girls, will know by the end of the day.
“So, you guys going to the Sig Beta-Theta Kapp party tonight?” Lexi asks, and we all laugh, knowing she’s making an effort to talk about anything other than what goes on at the yellow house.
Brax takes the bait. “You know we’ll all be there, Lexi. Officially it’s just Theta Kapp hosting, though. You know about what went down with Sig Beta, right?”
We nod. Sigma Beta fraternity was put on probation last year when it was discovered that the president, Gage Fitzgerald, was selling not only steroids, but also a wide variety of recreational drugs. But Gage was only a small piece of a wider corruption problem for Sig Beta. The fraternity was suspended for the entire school year nationwide when an investigation revealed that drug dealing and other illegal activity was taking place in the Sig Beta fraternity on other college campuses, too.
I don’t know the whole story, but Gage Fitzgerald’s downfall seems to have been the first of a domino effect for Sig Beta.
“Water theme this year. Should be interesting,” Brax adds.
“Water theme? What does that even mean?” Lexi asks.
“Slip ‘n’ slides, hot tubs, bikinis,” Zeb says dreamily. “Lots of bikinis.”
“Don’t get too excited, Zebulon,” Lexi enunciates his full name, “we all know the Theta Kapp girls go for the big muscular men. No offense, guys,” she adds.
“What? I’ve got guns. And you know I’ve got a rocking six-pack. Some of the baseball and football dudes are all chub.”
As the guys continue to joke about the various teams and athlete body types, I remember hearing about this party last year. Apparently it’s tradition for the “hottest” frat and sorority on campus to host a party during preseason for all the athletes on campus. Most varsity athletes don’t have time to be part of the Greek system, but the houses want to get the athletes coming to their parties. Maybe Jace and I will make an appearance after dinner with his mom.
As it turns out, both of us can really use the distraction of a party after the dinner. Lance, Annie’s boyfriend, is sleazy. We meet at a pizza joint, and he’s in a suit, having come straight from work. His hair is slicked back and I notice a fancy watch on his wrist when he shakes our hands. I don’t have anything against fancy watches, but the bling on his is a bit much.
Lance spends most of the evening talking about himself, without asking Jace, Annie, or me any questions. He doesn’t even try to get to know his girlfriend’s son. Lance i
s a venture capitalist, but I zone out when he launches into a more detailed description of his job. He gives me the creeps and I can’t understand why Annie is with him. Annie’s pretty easy-going, and dresses in casual, comfortable clothes. She works at the library, and seems content living a simple life. I totally don’t see the attraction between these two.
By the time Jace and I are back in his Jeep, we’re both tense.
“I’m not going to lie, Jace. Red flags are flying all over the place with that dude.” There’s no point in denying it. And I want Jace to open up about this. He’s gotten a lot better about talking things through instead of burying them, but it usually takes some prompting.
Jace grips the steering wheel and shakes his head. “What the hell is my mom doing with that fucker?” The rage in his voice startles me. Whoa. “She looks at him like he’s some angel, and he’s a fucking sleazeball.” When Jace slams his hand on the wheel in emphasis, I place a calming hand on his thigh.
“I’m sure Annie will figure that out. She seems like a smart woman.”
Jace laughs darkly. “My mom’s past tells me she’s not the best judge of character.”
“What do you mean?” She was a drug addict, but that doesn’t reflect on her relationship choices, does it? After all, she was with Jim Wilder, Jace’s dad, who’s great.
“It was a boyfriend who got her into hard drugs in the first place,” Jace says coldly, but I know it’s not directed at me. “And it was always boyfriends who kept her from getting sober. She’s tired now, from destroying her body all those years, but she was beautiful once. And she looked for love in the wrong places.” Jace’s assessment doesn’t surprise me. There’s little doubt his mother was gorgeous. She still is, though she looks older than her years. She must have spoken with Jace about her past, and I don’t like that she blamed boyfriends for her drug use.
“Are you going to tell her what you think of Lance?” I ask.