by Vivi Andrews
But somewhere between thirty and thirty-five, you have plenty of time had turned into lots of people are perfectly happy never having children. They still supported her, but now there was a tinge of pity tainting their support. They wanted so badly for her to be happy. It was hard not to feel like she’d failed them by not finding her Mr. Forever and living happily ever after. If she couldn’t do it, even with their love as her guiding light, what did that say about her? How pathetic was she?
“Chicken marsala, just the way my girls like it.” Her father shouldered open the kitchen door and strode out with a steaming platter that smelled like home.
They all took their seats around the table, the same chairs they’d sat in for every Friday dinner over the last three decades. Mara’s heart gave a pang as she realized she’d be giving up these Fridays if she went in search of her Mr. Forever. And if she found him in another pride, would he want to return to hers with her? Or would Mara only see her parents on the occasional visit, showing off their grandchildren only on scheduled trips?
She’d tried to think all this through, but the little sacrifices kept surprising her. She’d known she would be leaving her pride and all the people she’d grown up with, but the fear of isolation from her family and the keen ache she felt when she thought of leaving her students startled her.
“Delicious as ever, Rog,” her mother said.
Mara realized she’d been eating without tasting a bite. She looked up in time to see the small smile her parents shared, the same smile they’d been sharing for forty years. Her resolve firmed.
“I’m going to visit the pride in Florida next month,” she announced.
Her father stilled with his fork in midair. “Florida?” he repeated, as if she’d just announced a trip to the moon.
Her mother covered her father’s free hand where it rested on the table. “For how long, sweetheart?”
Mara squirmed in her chair, inexplicably unnerved by her mother’s calm acceptance. “For a while. Until I see if…if there might be someone there…for me.”
Her mother simply nodded, like she’d been expecting this for a while. Her father cleared his throat roughly. “Right…” he mumbled, then repeated the word with more conviction. “Right. You should go.”
It was back, the pity in their eyes. It stung to see it there, but Mara couldn’t say she was surprised. Now that she thought about it, she’d been seeing that expression on a lot of faces lately. Everyone knew how she’d failed. She was officially pathetic. The desperate spinster. A figure of ridicule.
Would people in her new pride look at her that way? Would they know she’d run away from Three Rocks as a failure?
“It’s a good idea,” her mother said with forced cheer. “A fresh start.”
Mara’s stomach churned and she set down her fork. Would it really be a fresh start or would she carry her shame with her, as obvious as a scarlet letter? Pathetic, unlovable Mara.
Her father reached across to pat her hand. “It’ll work out, Mara. Don’t you worry. Fate has wonderful things in store for you, baby.”
Tears pricked her eyes, but she forced out a smile. “Thank you, Daddy.” If only she had his faith. Fate didn’t seem to be doing her any favors lately.
Chapter Nine
Michael was not above asking for directions and he’d never felt more lost in his life. And so he found himself on Ava’s doorstep begging for advice.
When she opened the door, he scanned the room behind her, feeling a surge of relief when he saw that Landon wasn’t home. He wanted Ava’s guidance, but he’d rather get it in private, if possible.
“I need your help.”
Ava didn’t ask questions. She just waved him toward the round table and chairs she and Landon had recently added to their bungalow. Ava was a natural diplomat and she’d taken up the role of counselor in the months since her marriage to Landon. Michael grabbed one of the chairs as Ava curled into a ball in another one, always the cat.
“I take it this is about Mara?” she asked gently.
Michael raked a hand through his hair. “I’ve done everything I can think of. I’ve told her I want more than just a fling. I’ve shown her that I can be good to her, that I’m good with kids and I’m not going to give up, but nothing I do seems to change her view of me. In her eyes, I’m still just a kid with a crush.” He leaned forward, bracing his forearms on the table. “What did you do? How did you persuade Landon to look at you in a different light?”
Ava shook her head regretfully. “Landon saw more in me from the beginning. I was the one who needed convincing.”
“Shit.” There went that plan.
“I wish I could tell you how to change her mind, but other than appealing to her sense of logic, I don’t think there’s much chance of that. Mara’s stubborn, and when she’s decided something is the most sensible course, you need dynamite to shake her conviction.”
“She wants to be with me,” Michael insisted. “I know it. I just don’t know how to get her to see that.” He raked a hand through his hair. “I’m getting desperate.”
Ava hesitated, taking a deep breath, and he knew he wasn’t going to like what she said next. “Have you considered just letting her go? If she is right for you, maybe visiting another pride will convince her of that and she’ll come back to you. If not…there are other women in the world.”
Michael glared at his little sister. “If I told you to just let Landon walk out of your life, would you do it?”
Ava’s pale grey eyes flicked down to lock on the table. “The difference is that no force on earth could get Landon to leave me, Michael. You yourself tested that when we first got together. You and Tyler and Caleb and Kane threw yourselves between us, but it didn’t faze him. He kept coming for me. Would Mara do that for you?”
He didn’t answer. He couldn’t. For Ava, who hated confrontation, to be so blunt, she had to truly believe that Mara didn’t love him. That she never had.
Could he have been wrong about her?
“No.” He was sure of her. He’d never been more certain in his life. “She’s my mate. She should be with me. I just need to make her see.”
Ava opened her mouth to respond, but the door to the bungalow opening halted her words. Landon paused in the doorway, glancing between his wife and her brother. “Should I come back later?”
Michael shoved himself to his feet. “No, you stay. I’ll go.”
Ava rose too, putting her hand on his arm. “Michael, it’s probably for the best.”
Somehow he managed not to snarl at her. “Ava, I love you, but if you say that one more time, I might have to bite you.”
“Don’t threaten my mate,” Landon said without heat, tossing the duffle he’d been holding next to the bed. “This about Mara?”
Ava glanced at Michael. He shrugged. Ava was going to tell Landon everything as soon as he left anyway. Might as well get the indignity over with.
“Yeah, it’s about Mara. She thinks I’m a kid and nothing I do can convince her I’d make a good mate.”
Landon frowned. “You want me to give you more responsibility in the pride? Some really important position?”
Michael blinked, surprised by the offer. “You would do that?”
The Alpha shrugged. “I’d been planning to anyway. You’re limited by the need to stay on pride land, but you’re also just about the most honest person I know. I figure you can handle a little more weight on your shoulders.”
Satisfaction and pride blossomed in his chest. “Yeah, I can handle whatever you throw at me,” Michael vowed. “But I don’t know if that’s enough to change things with Mara. She’ll be gone in a few weeks. Can’t you do something to delay her? Keep her here a little longer?”
Landon shook his head. “Sorry, Michael. That isn’t how I run things.”
Michael scrubbed a hand over his face. “I know. I don’t want to force her to stay if she really wants to leave. I just wish I could make her see she doesn’t need to go halfway across th
e country to find what she already has right here.”
Landon gripped his shoulder and squeezed. “You want a drink? We can get shitfaced and compare notes about all the ways we would tie our women up and make them see reason, if they’d only let us.”
“Landon,” Ava scolded, rolling her eyes.
Michael snorted. “Yeah, let’s do that.”
Mara left her parents’ house no more confident than she’d been when she arrived. She’d hoped seeing them together would reinforce that she was making the right choice, but instead it had just made her wonder even more if she was being smart or running scared.
A figure stepped out of the shadows onto the path in front of her. Mara almost turned back. She wasn’t sure she wanted to see anyone. If there was even a trace of pity…
But as she grew closer, she recognized the Alpha’s sister, Zoe, coming from the direction of the garage. Zoe was refreshing. She was also one of the only people at Three Rocks who had changed prides looking for a better life. If anyone would understand why Mara was doing what she was doing, it was her.
“Hey,” Zoe called, closing the distance between them and falling into step beside her. “You look like shit.”
A short laugh burst out of Mara’s mouth. She shoved her hands into her pockets and kept walking. “Don’t hold back, Zoe.”
The tall blonde shrugged. “I call ’em like I see ’em. You okay?”
“Fine.”
“Uh-huh. Fine isn’t a way to be. Fine sucks.” She cocked her head to the side. “Wanna talk about it?”
“Not really.”
Zoe nodded sagely. “Me either.” They walked in silence for about two steps before the restless energy in Zoe had to be verbally released. “Men, huh? Can’t live with ’em, can’t rip out their entrails to wear as a necklace.”
Mara snorted. “Something like that.”
Zoe swung her arms and bounced on the balls of her feet, bubbling over with kinetic energy. “You should talk about it. You’ll feel better.”
“Zoe.” Mara used her teacher voice. The one guaranteed to snap recalcitrant pupils back in line. Unfortunately, Zoe appeared to be immune.
“You want kids, right? And none of the guys around here look like viable daddy material, yeah?”
Mara winced. Even Zoe, who’d been with the pride for less than a year, could tell she was desperate and pathetic. Great.
“I know how you feel,” Zoe continued.
Mara stayed silent. She couldn’t imagine Zoe’s claim was true. She had a decade on the pretty blonde. It was a long way from twenty-five and annoyed to thirty-five and frustrated.
“I’m staying with Three Rocks to support Landon,” Zoe confided. “I’d be long gone if he weren’t so determined to make a go of it as the Alpha here. There aren’t exactly a lot of hot prospects for a girl here, am I right? We both know what a pain in the ass the Minor brothers are, but they’re the only quality lions in this damn pride.”
“I don’t—” Mara wasn’t sure what she was going to protest, but it didn’t matter because Zoe didn’t give her a chance to finish.
“I know, I know. You aren’t serious about Michael. A girl like you isn’t gonna be dumb enough to get serious about a guy like that. But what are you gonna do? It sucks, but there aren’t a lot of options. Sometimes you’re just stuck. Sorry ’bout that.”
“I’m not stuck,” Mara snapped. She wasn’t annoyed with Zoe so much as herself, but the frustration would take any outlet. And the idea that a woman would have to be stupid to want to be with Michael rankled on some level. He deserved a goddess. Just not her. “I’m not some pathetic little girl waiting for a man to sweep me off my feet.”
Zoe’s blonde eyebrows flew up. “Hey, chica, a dominant female is only pathetic when she lets herself be.” She glared back over her shoulder in the general direction of the garage.
“Well, I’m not. I’m doing something about it. I’m going to Florida.”
“I’ve been to Florida. The traffic sucks.”
Mara walked faster, fueled by irritation. “I’m taking my fate into my own hands. I’m going out, actively looking for a mate. I’m not running away from my problems. I’m facing them head-on.”
“Hey, no one said you were running away.”
“Well, I’m not. It takes a lot of courage to do what I’m doing.”
Zoe held out her hands in surrender. “No one’s arguing with you, chica.”
“I’m doing the right thing. I know it. There’s nothing for me here.”
“Uh-huh. You ever seen Hamlet?”
Mara stopped in her tracks, turning to frown at Zoe. “Hamlet? What does Hamlet have to do with anything?”
“The lady protesteth too mucheth and all that. You sure you aren’t running away from someone?”
“I said I wasn’t—”
“Yeah, you said. You said nice and loud and emphatic, but the thing is, I never said anything about running. You came up with that one all on your own.”
Mara’s irritation spiked high, aimed straight at Zoe. “Are you always this annoying?”
“Mostly.” She shrugged, utterly unoffended. “I’ll leave you alone. I think I’m gonna go run off my troubles. Thanks for the chat though. A little girl talk is always good to take your mind off your own issues, yeah?”
Zoe gave a jaunty wave and took off at a lope, her long legs eating up the ground.
Mara stared after her, feeling like she’d just been run over by a steamroller. She’d never spent a huge amount of time with the Alpha’s sister. The woman was a force of nature.
But was she right? Was there something Mara was fighting not to see? Maybe she should delay her trip. Not forever, just long enough to make sure she was doing the right thing. She was so confused right now. She could take a few more weeks, maybe even a month or two, and make sure she was making the right choice. She could make a list, weigh the pros and cons, clarify her thinking.
Maybe Michael would help her make a list…
Low voices penetrated her preoccupation and Mara looked up, taking in her surroundings. She’d stopped in front of Ava and Landon’s bungalow. Conversation floated out the window, the low drawl of the Alpha, Ava’s distinctive, raspy alto… Then a third voice raised above the other two.
“Hell, Landon, why don’t you just give me permission to handcuff Mara to my bed until she sees reason.”
Michael.
He was in there. Talking to the Alpha. Behind her back. The betrayal stole her breath.
How dare he meddle in her life? Trying to convince her to change her mind was one thing. Going to the Alpha was something else entirely.
She had trusted him. She hadn’t realized how far she’d gone toward thinking of him as her partner, even possibly her future mate, until those arrogant words shattered everything. Handcuff her to the bed, would he? Mara ignored the flicker of interest that slithered beneath her anger. Instead, she nurtured the rage burning hot in her veins.
She stormed up the steps. Michael had no claim on her. She was her own woman, independent. She’d show him. She’d give him so much independence his head would spin.
Chapter Ten
Michael tipped back in his chair and studied the liquor in his glass. He wasn’t much of a drinker, and he hadn’t had much tonight, but commiserating with Landon, even with Ava there acting as referee and defender of the female gender, had loosened the tension in his shoulders considerably. He felt almost human again.
Until the door slammed open and Mara appeared on the threshold looking like the Queen of the Underworld ready to drag him back to Hell.
“How dare you,” she shouted, her eyes locked on him as if there was no one else in the world. “I can’t believe I was actually starting to trust you. Do you actually expect me to believe you would be a good mate, a partner, if you go behind my back to the Alpha at the first sign of dissent?”
Michael blinked at her, his ability to form words and arguments lost in the face of her stunning rage. He’d nev
er seen Mara so out of control, outside of the bedroom. Part of him wondered if this was a good sign, even as the majority of him tried to play catch-up and figure out what the hell she was so angry about.
“How dare you presume you have some claim over me. I am not a possession. You don’t own me.”
“I never said I owned you.” He surged up out of his chair.
Ava and Landon stood by, watching the show in silence.
“No? Then what are you doing here? Why did you come running to the Alpha when I wouldn’t give you your way?”
Michael opened his mouth, but Mara didn’t give him a chance to speak.
“Don’t bother explaining. Just listen up. This is my life and you are never, never going to have any part of it, is that clear?” She didn’t wait to hear his answer, spinning on her heel and running out of the bungalow, the door slapping shut behind her.
Ava shifted from one foot to the other. “Michael, I’m so—”
“Don’t.” Whatever she had to say, he didn’t want to hear it. He’d heard more than enough for one night.
What the fuck was that? She stormed in here like a Valkyrie, out for blood, and then ran out. Always running. Always pushing him away with one hand and stringing him along with the other.
She didn’t get to do that anymore. He wasn’t going to let her. Michael was sick of being teased and toyed with. She wanted it to be over between them? Fine. It was going to be over.
But not until he’d said his piece. She didn’t get to blindside him and run away from him this time.
Michael roared, the shift taking his body to lion form with a sudden painful jerk. He lunged forward, his speed fueled by anger as he sprinted into the night. He caught the scent trail of the female and raced down the path after her. She was headed away from the residential compound, into the pasturelands beyond. He didn’t care. Wherever she went, he would catch her.
He knew the moment she realized he was following her. He felt the soft pop of pressure as she took her own feline form. He poured on the speed, knowing she would be faster and more evasive as a lioness. That knowledge only reinforced his determination to catch her.