by Rita Lakin
“So that’s what you were doing at Jo’s funeral, detecting?” Angie says to me.
Evvie says, “We were sure surprised to see you there. We didn’t know you were Josephina’s relative.”
“You saw them at the funeral? How come I didn’t see them?” Elio is annoyed at not being in the know.
She gives him a playful pinch on the cheek. “Because you’re half blind, rospo. Besides, I didn’t want you to.”
“How come you never told us about the funeral?” Ida asks me indignantly.
“Yeah,” Bella says petulantly. “Only Evvie gets to know everything.”
I sigh. “It’s a long story. I’ll tell you later.”
I turn back to Angie. “Believe me, we were just as surprised to see you there as you were to see us.”
She looks at Elio. “I caught them lying when they tried to tell me they have a Chinese Catholic uncle.”
Evvie says, “You caught us spying and we needed an excuse.”
Bella is confused. “Who has a Chinese Catholic uncle?”
Evvie pats her on the back. “No one, sweetie.”
“Then Elizabeth Johnson died. Three heiresses in less than three weeks of each other.”
Amy’s voice is tremulous. “You’re saying all the women I was supposed to meet died in the same month?”
“Let me put it this way: They all died after you were on that first cruise together.”
I give everyone a few moments to think about this. Then I say to Amy, “You mentioned that your husband was also on that cruise. Were any of your new friends’ husbands along?”
Amy says slowly, nervously, “All of their husbands were on board. While we played bridge, they hung out together and gambled in the casino.”
“I was informed that all three of these women died of natural causes. In fact, I was made to feel that I was a failure for going against all the ‘facts.’ That the husbands had perfect alibis. In fact, there was no motive for these so-called individual crimes. There was no connection whatsoever between these three deaths.
“Well. Now we have the connection. All four couples did meet. Logic then tells us that since someone has been trying to kill Amy, then the other three women had to have been murdered, as well, and you were to be the fourth victim.”
With that, Amy faints. Angelina screams. Elio is on his feet, cursing. And my girls are just plain flummoxed.
40
Amy Tells All
We all fan Amy with napkins. She slowly comes to.
Evvie asks, “Are you all right?”
She nods but just barely.
Angelina is clutching Elio. The girls are in shock. I feel terrible, but what else could I do? We have to get to the bottom of this. A murderer is loose on this ship.
Elio suggests we go to their stateroom.
Somberly we follow the Sicilianos. Sophie and Ida are supporting Amy. The winds are picking up. We hold on to our sun hats so they won’t blow away.
I notice a couple of things as we enter the Sicilianos’ stateroom. The room is enormous. It’s actually a suite with a French door that opens onto a private balcony. Probably cost a fortune. The other is Amy’s visceral response. I see her clutch at her stomach. Has she been in this room before?
We settle her down in an easy chair. She does not want to lie on the bed. We all take seats except for Elio, who paces. No one is saying a word, but they steal glances at me.
“Do you need anything?” I ask Amy. “Water? Tea? Should we call the doctor?”
“No.” Her voice wavers and is very low. Her hands are trembling. I take a small blanket from the bed and place it across her knees.
“I’m so sorry,” I say.
Evvie says to me, “Maybe we should wait until later.”
“No,” Amy says again. “I need this over with.”
Elio demands to know “What did you mean, they had no motive? They had millions of motives.”
“Wait,” I tell him. “I’ll get to that.”
I ask Amy, “How did you meet Margaret and Josephine and Elizabeth?”
“At the bridge sign-up. We were placed at the same table. We instantly connected. We were familiar with one another since we all came from Florida and were involved in similar charities. We knew people in common at our country clubs.”
“You were all rich,” says Sophie, never known for her subtlety. Evvie throws her a dirty look.
“Yes. And we were great bridge players. We won games easily and there was an instant camaraderie. There was something about being on the ship …I guess a determination to have a good time.” She pauses.
“Your husbands,” I prompt her.
“We didn’t all meet right away. Harry and I met Tom and Elizabeth at dinner the first night. We were seated at the same table. She and I smiled at one another, as if sharing a delightful secret. Both our husbands were younger and very handsome.”
“Yes!” whispers Evvie victoriously. She glances at me knowingly.
I shake my head to silence her.
“The four of us met Jo and Bob in the gambling casino. We looked at one another and grinned. How funny. How perfectly marvelous.”
“He was young and gorgeous, too!” Bella can’t resist.
“Yes,” says Amy sadly.
“Don’t tell me!” Ida exclaims. “So were the last couple!”
“Yes. Margaret and Dick. We had all married younger men. Poor younger men.”
“Talk about your coincidences,” Elio echos my comment.
“Tom, Dick and Harry,” says Evvie, who can’t resist. “Great forties movie with Ginger Rogers.” She grins.
“And ‘Bob’? Where’d he come from?”
Amy continues. “That’s what we said. What were the odds on all of us finding one another? The guys thought it was a great big joke, and soon they were telling stories about what they had been doing before we women rescued them from nothingness.
“And everything seemed funnier. The men instantly took to one another. They hung out together when we were playing bridge. And then all eight of us became inseparable the rest of the trip.”
She stops. “May I have water?”
Elio instantly brings a pitcher and a glass and puts them on the small table beside her. He looks at his wife, who sits scrunched down deep on the couch, seemingly dazed. He sits down beside Angelina and reaches for her hand.
We wait expectantly.
“I don’t know if I can go on,” Amy says. “I’m so ashamed.”
“Please,” Angelina says. “I need to know.”
She calms herself and begins again. “Then suddenly, things got wild. The men started drinking more while we played, and then they wanted us to join them and catch up. Every night we partied in each other’s rooms.”
I look around and realize that Jo Martinson must have reserved this same room on her last trip. It was creepy imagining these things happening where we now sat.
“One of the men brought drugs. Ecstasy, cocaine, who knows what.” Amy pauses. “The parties escalated. Beth and Meg were gung-ho for it all. They were flirting with our husbands. Jo and I were uncomfortable. Then, the last night on board, things got ugly.”
Amy rises and opens the door and walks out onto the balcony, keeping her back to us. We can see her lean over the railing with her head hanging down. The wind is blowing her hair.
Evvie starts to get up. I touch her arm to keep her down. Sophie and Bella are now whispering to Ida.
Amy remains outside. There is a rustle of movement in the room, but we stay where we are.
I look at Angelina, still huddled down in the couch. What must she be thinking?
Finally Amy comes back in and sits down again. “Money does funny things to you. I wasn’t born rich like Elizabeth or Margaret. Jo and I talked about it the few times we were alone. We grew up middle-class. But as we watched the other two, we realized that we had become like them. We felt privileged. We had come to expect people to cater to our every want. We were above everyone
else. Special. Worldly. It didn’t always come easily, but that’s what Jo and I had learned in order to belong.
“My family was horrified when I married Harry. My first husband died and left me very wealthy. I was alone for a long time. Finally, watching my rich friends, I decided I could buy a man like I would a new Rolls or a second home in Europe. I met Harry at the vet where I brought my show dog, my bichon frise, to be cared for. He was an assistant—you know, cleaning cages, feeding the animals. But I took one look at him and I knew I could have him. Harry grabbed at the chance. He didn’t pretend to love me, but he knew the rules. Be my companion, in bed and out. Behave lovingly to me in public. I gave him a long leash.” Amy laughs. “He lived a separate life. I didn’t care what he did as long as he didn’t embarrass me.”
She sits there, lost in her troubled thoughts.
Finally I remind her, “The last night?”
“Everything seemed…surreal. We were drunk and drugged. The men were mean. Their jokes were about us, and cutting. As if safety in numbers made them brave enough to say what they really thought of these silly women who had bought them. I tried to tell Jo, but she was numb.”
Amy gets up again. “I can’t stand it,” she says, and bursts into tears. She paces, now speaking quickly as if to get it over with. We follow her with our eyes.
“We met them in that bar they liked so much with that leering devil’s face. They looked guilty about something. And also excited. Yes, very excited. They had just dumped the room key cards on the bar and were picking them up again …not picking up their own keys. No, not their own.”
“‘Last night on board and the ultimate game.’ I remember it was Tom Johnson who announced it. He walked—more like wobbled—toward Margaret and put his arm about her, nuzzled her neck, and waved her room key at her. ‘Shall we?’ She got it right away and nuzzled back. Margaret was giggling and winking at us as they walked away.”
Now Amy stops moving. Her voice seems strangled.
“Then Dick Sampson went over to Jo. She was so far gone, I don’t think she even knew what was happening. And my Harry snuggled up with Elizabeth. I saw a look in his eyes that made me shiver. There was cruelty. Like the vet’s assistant he was, about to put a pit bull down.” Amy’s voice becomes a whisper. “Bob Martinson took me. I didn’t want to go with him. I tried to get away but his hand holding my arm was like steel.”
Elio mumbles an angry Italian curse word. Angelina seems devastated. She moves even closer to him for comfort.
Amy looks at me. “I wasn’t honest with you. I thought about calling the women, but I was ashamed. And I thought they might be, too. I was so sure that we would meet again on this trip—without the men—and maybe be able to talk about what went wrong.”
She sinks back down in her chair, eyes closed, utterly exhausted. Angelina gets up and, with her walker, moves over to her and touches her hand gently.
It is very quiet in the room. We can hear the band playing on the deck right above us and people laughing.
“Those sons of bitches!” snarls Elio, nearly leaping out of his seat.
Angelina grabs his arm to restrain him. “What’s to figure out? They killed their wives. They were after the money.”
“They all had alibis,” I say.
“Then they hired a killer. That’s what rich people can do,” Angelina adds.
Here goes nothing. I’m going to ask, but I know the answer. “Amy, I was informed that the other women had prenuptial agreements. Did you?”
“Of course. Harry knew up front. I had a settlement drawn up for him. A very generous one. My house to live in for his lifetime. A large monthly allowance. Stocks and bonds. He was very satisfied with that.”
“Then, what changed?” I ask. “Why would four strangers suddenly decide to kill all their wives?”
41
Boy Toys
SIX WEEKS EARLIER
They were sitting at the Devil’s Own Bar. The glittering neon sign above them showed a sneering, cartoonish red devil with its menacing tail wound about an animated sign that read “Three Sins—Drink, Women, and Money.”
Since this was the last night on board—Captain’s Dinner night on the world-famous cruise ship Heavenly—the four young, handsome men were elegantly dressed in tuxedos. They were deep in intense conversation.
They were diligently drinking, as well, four empty martini glasses lined up in front of each. One newly filled. It was time for a toast.
Totally unmindful of the activities around them, they ignored not only the posh couples parading past them along the walk-through corridor, but also the Angels’ Strolling Choir serenading the guests with suitably chosen songs for the cocktail hour. Right now they were singing “Pennies from Heaven.”
Yet the men noticed nothing. They lifted their glasses.
“The game’s over. It’s our game now.”
“It was all about trust.”
“No promises broken.”
“No backing out.”
“Agreed.”
“All for one and one for all.”
They clinked their glasses with shared smiles.
The woman was pushing fifty, pretending to be forty, overdressed, overly made-up, desperation hidden by her idea of witty repartee. She elbowed up alongside them.
“Can I believe my eyes? Four dashing guys drinking alone without pretty women draped around their shoulders?”
She ran her fingers through the blond hair of the man seated closest to her. He removed her hand.
“Sorry, old girl, take your business elsewhere.”
“Yeah. We’re happily married guys,” said the next one. But there was ice in his voice belying his words.
Rebuffed, she tried for an exit line. “I never met a happily married guy, let alone four of them. Maybe they should put you in a wax museum or something.” With that she backed off.
It was as if there had been no interruption. The men removed their room key cards from their pockets and tossed them onto the bar. Each man chose a key card other than his own.
“They thought we wouldn’t find out?”
“They’re in for a big surprise.”
“Hot time in the old town tonight.”
“What I like best about it…”
“Yeah?”
“No one, and I mean no one, will ever figure it out.”
42
Strangers on a Ship
It’s two o’clock in the morning and I’m pacing. Not easy to do in a room the size of a postage stamp. The girls fell asleep early. No wonder, they were exhausted. I am, too, but my mind won’t shut off.
“Glad?” I hear Evvie whisper. “You can’t sleep?”
“No. I’m sorry, did I wake you?” I whisper, too, so that we don’t wake Ida.
“I have to get up to go to the bathroom anyway.” With that she walks past me into our tiny commode.
“Don’t forget, don’t flush,” I say.
“I know,” she answers.
The mechanism that makes the toilet flush is so loud it could wake the dead. The first time we heard it, we nearly jumped out of our skins. Then we started to laugh and decided never to flush at night.
Evvie comes back out and sits down on our lone chair. “What a day!”
“That’s for sure.” Amy has moved in with the Sicilianos, sharing their large suite. Elio swears he will guard her with his life. She will be safe with them. He is all for going to the captain tomorrow morning and telling him what we know. But I can guess what Captain Standish will say. What makes us so sure? What’s our proof? How would he find a killer among thousands of people? A nameless hired assassin.
“What’s bothering you?” Evvie asks.
“It’s the motive. If I could only make that connection between those men.” I sit down on the edge of my mattress and cross my legs yoga-style.
“They talked it over and decided they wanted the money now.”
“But why? They had plenty of money and plenty more coming later. T
hey had a sweet setup. Why take a chance on maybe getting caught, ending up in jail and getting nothing?”
“Sometimes when people get in a group, someone starts to give the others the idea.”
“Maybe, but it would have to be strong for them to chance losing what they already had.”
“You want to watch the late movie? Maybe it’ll put you to sleep.” Our ship makes sure we’re entertained twenty-four hours every day.
“I hope so. If it’s an oldie in black and white, that’ll get me to nod off.”
We both climb back down onto our mattresses. Evvie turns on our TV and keeps the sound low. We scrunch into our pillows to get comfortable and pull the covers around our necks.
Evvie punches my arm in excitement. “Look! Look what’s on. It’s one of my favorite movies.”
In a matter of moments I recognize Strangers on a Train.
“Aw, shucks,” Evvie complains. “We missed the part when Robert Walker tells Farley Granger about killing one another’s wives. Ooh, I love this movie.”
“And I love to sleep!” Ida opens one eye, pulling her pillow over her head.
“Go ahead, who’s stopping you?” Evvie answers.
“What are you watching?” Ida asks, her voice now muffled.
“Strangers on a Train.”
“I hate that movie. It’s stupid. Who’d believe that plot?” And Ida is snoring again.
Evvie jumps up and down. “I believe that plot! That’s what these guys did. There was no hired killer. They exchanged wives. Strangers on a Ship!”
I’m right with her. “That’s what the key cards were really for. That’s how they picked their target!”
“We solved it!”
“Not yet. There’s a piece missing. I have to call Amy.”
I get up and head for the phone.
“You can’t.” Evvie puts her hand on my arm. “It’s the middle of the night.”
I stop in my tracks. What was I thinking? “You’re right. I’ll ask her tomorrow morning. She doesn’t know it, but she holds the key to the motives of those evil boy toys.”