He turned to Hetty. “Am I that boy’s father now, or not?”
Hetty looked startled by the question. “What do you mean?”
“I think the question was pretty simple,” Karl said. “Yes? Or no?”
“Yes,” Hetty said. “But—”
“But nothing,” Karl interrupted. He crossed to Griffin and said, “Put that knife away and come with me.”
The boy didn’t look nearly so confident with Karl towering over him. Griffin glanced toward Hetty, who was too far away to be any help, then up at Karl and blustered, “I don’t have to do what you say.”
Karl turned to Hetty again. “Yes? Or no?”
It was easy to read the myriad emotions crossing Hetty’s face: fear, anxiety, hope, reluctance, anxiety, fear, and finally hope again. “Griffin, put away your knife and do as your father says.”
Griffin’s chin took on an angry, stubborn tilt as several more shavings flared in the fire. “He’s not my pa.”
Karl was watching Griffin as Grace said quietly, “This is what we dreamed about Griffin. A mother and a father. A real family.” Grace’s eyes brimmed with tears that glittered in the setting sunlight.
Griffin took one look at her and snapped, “Fine!” He threw the piece of wood, which Karl realized had become a horse’s head with a flying mane, into the fire. Then the boy stood, stuck the sharp knife into a worn leather sheath tied to his belt, and said, “Let’s go.”
“Karl!” Hetty called out to him.
He stopped and glanced at her over his shoulder. “What?”
Her heart was in her eyes. Don’t hurt him. Be gentle. He needs love, not pain. But she only said, “He’s just a little boy.”
The sudden knot in his throat surprised Karl and kept him from saying anything as he followed Griffin away from the fire. There was still enough sunlight to see in the grassy circle where they’d camped, but Griffin kept going until they reached a Douglas fir at the edge of the clearing, where the boy’s sullen face was lost in the deepening shadows.
Griffin searched out a white-trunked aspen among the stand of pungent evergreens, peeled a switch from one of the bare, wind-whipped branches, and handed it to Karl. “Here. Go ahead and give me some licks. I deserve it.”
Karl took the switch without thinking, then searched out the gleam of the boy’s dark eyes in the shadows and said, “I know it must have been difficult for you and Grace to leave your home in Cheyenne to come to the Montana Territory.”
Griffin snorted. “Not hardly.”
“Why not? What was wrong with it?”
Griffin opened his mouth to speak and snapped it shut again.
Karl waited him out.
Finally, Griffin said, “Grace is the one who wanted a pa, not me. I was happy with the way things were.”
“With just you and Grace and your mother, you mean,” Karl said.
Griffin kicked at a pile of rotten leaves with the toe of his boot. “Yeah. With just us.”
“Your ma said your father died shortly after you were born, and that you haven’t had a father for most of your life. I’d like to be your pa if you’ll let me.”
“I don’t see the big deal about having a pa. All you’ve done so far is order me around and ask me to work like a dog.”
Karl choked back the laugh that sought voice because he knew it wouldn’t help his efforts to discipline the boy. He tried to remember what role his own father had played in his life. Mostly, he’d been absent. Or absorbed in projects with Karl’s older brother.
Karl had never really thought much about parenting his mail-order bride’s children, because they were supposedly seven and nine—still young enough to be tied to their mother’s apron strings. Whatever his age, Griffin was already clever enough to manipulate the world around him. He needed a man to guide him and set an example for him.
Karl had thought about the kind of father he wanted to become, which was the kind of father he’d wished he had. “Fathers teach their sons to be men of character and honesty,” he said. “They teach the importance of working hard to get what you want, of being responsible for yourself, and taking good care of those you love.”
“I take care of myself just fine,” Griffin retorted. “I don’t need help from anyone.”
“What about taking care of those you love?”
“Grace is pretty good at taking care of herself, too,” Griffin said.
“What about your mother?” Karl said. “If I’m not mistaken, she gave up her supper to make sure you didn’t go without. Seems to me your sister joined her without a second thought. I figure they’re both pretty hungry right about now because you were too proud to accept your punishment.”
Griffin hung his head and shuffled his toe over the golden pile of aspen leaves again. In a low voice he mumbled, “You can whip me now if you want.”
Karl broke the switch in half and threw it aside. “I have a far worse punishment than that in mind for you.”
Griffin looked up at him, the whites of his eyes visible, his shoulders braced for whatever blow was on the way. “I’m not afraid. Do whatever you want.”
“Fine. Since Grace did your job for you today, you can do her job for the rest of the week.”
It took Griffin a moment to process what he’d said. Then he blurted, “You want me to wash dishes? That’s a girl’s job!”
“Bao does it all the time. I intended for Grace to help him, but I think under the circumstances, you should take her place for a week.”
“I hate washing dishes.”
“All the better,” Karl said. “I’ll expect you to fill up that tarp under the wagon with wood this coming week as well.”
“You want me to do my job and Grace’s job? That’s not fair!”
“I suspect you’ve already figured out that life’s not fair.” Karl didn’t know what he’d do if Griffin refused to accept his punishment. He didn’t think a beating would do much good, and he was plumb out of other ideas.
Griffin’s lower lip was caught in his teeth. He shot a glance at Grace, who sat on the log he’d vacated, along with Hetty, whose arm was around his sister. At last, his chin came up and he said, “All right. I’ll do your stupid chores. I won’t even eat any supper tonight. But you gotta let Grace eat. She used to go without a lot, and now she kind of panics when there’s nothing for supper.”
Karl’s eyes narrowed, and he glanced toward Hetty. What kind of life had this family been leading? A hard one, for sure. It had never occurred to him that Hetty’s beauty wouldn’t have been a solution to any and all problems. Apparently not.
“Go ahead and eat,” Karl said. “You’ll need your strength to wash all those dishes.” He put out his hand. “Do we have a deal?”
Griffin spat on his palm, accepted the offered hand, and said, “Deal.”
Karl put a hand on Griffin’s shoulder to head him back toward the fire, but the boy shrugged out from under it and scampered back to join his mother and sister. Hetty bent down to listen as Griffin spoke with Grace.
Karl felt his heart jump when Hetty smiled at him. She spoke to the children, then turned and walked to meet him at the edge of the forest. She reached out both of her hands, which he took in his own.
“You are so wise,” she said in a voice soft enough not to be heard by the children.
“It was all I could think of to do.”
“It’s perfect,” Hetty said. “Griffin will surely think twice before he refuses to do his share in the future.”
Hetty suddenly seemed to realize that her hands had found their way to his chest, with his hands closed around them. She flushed as she pulled free.
Karl opened his hands and let her go. It felt as though he were releasing a wild bird, startled to find itself captive and equally surprised to realize it was free to fly away.
As she turned to leave he blurted, “I want this marriage to work, Hetty.”
She turned back to him, her face filled with concern. “So do I.”
He wis
hed he hadn’t started this conversation, but now that he had, he might as well finish it. “Fidelity is important to me.”
He watched her swallow hard before she replied, “To me, too.”
“You’ll be surrounded by men at the camp,” he continued. “Bao will do most of the cooking, but he’ll need your help serving the men. And, of course, if any of the loggers is injured, you’ll be tending to his wounds.”
“I expected all of that,” Hetty said.
Karl was stuck. Hinting wasn’t going to do the job. He didn’t want to accuse Hetty outright of being promiscuous, even though that was his fear. He needed to make his feelings plain before they arrived in the valley. “I guess what I’m saying is, there will be plenty of temptation to stray.”
The blood left Hetty’s face in such a rush that he thought she might faint.
“I would never…You can’t believe that I…Why would you think…?”
When she finished sputtering, Karl said, “What happened, Hetty? Why did you do it?”
He was asking for an explanation of why she’d gotten pregnant before her marriage to the one husband she’d supposedly had. Or why she’d cheated on him. Or both.
Karl waited for her to speak. And waited. She seemed to be struggling with some terrible inner turmoil.
At last, she looked into his eyes and said, “Haven’t you ever done anything you regretted?”
Karl was silent for a moment, absorbing the remorse on her face. Then he said, “Yes. I have.”
Hetty sighed. “Then you know how futile it can be to wish you’d done things differently. You can’t undo what’s done. You can only move forward and hope to be a better person.”
Karl reached out and caught her hand. She tried to pull free, but he held on and drew her closer. He swallowed over the painful lump in his throat and said, “That’s all I can ask.”
Her voice was so soft he could barely hear her as she said, “I promise I will never give you cause to mistrust me, Karl.”
It was too late for that. He wasn’t absolutely certain he’d heard two honest sentences in a row since he’d met her. But there were other things far more important to him than her past.
Will you ever be glad to be my wife? Will you ever be able to love me?
Karl knew better than to ask. He was very much afraid there was nothing about him that caused Hetty’s heart to take an extra beat.
He caressed her cold hand. “I’m looking forward to getting to know you, Hetty.” He opened her clutched fingers one by one as he continued, “To unfolding the petals of a beautiful blossom one by one, until I know everything there is to know about you.”
She laughed nervously. “There’s no need to court me, Karl. I’m already your wife.”
“Precisely,” he said. “I plan to keep my vows, too, Hetty. To honor you. And to cherish you.”
Her eyes were focused on his mouth. He wondered if it was his mouth, or the words coming out of his mouth, that she found so entrancing. He leaned down, closing the distance between them.
He heard her gasp as their lips met and waited for her to pull away. But she didn’t. He was afraid to breathe, afraid he would break the spell.
Her lips pressed back against his, and her breathing became erratic. Her body began to tremble.
He wanted to take her in his arms and hold her and promise her everything would be all right. That he would love her and take care of her and their children for the rest of their lives.
Abruptly, she ended the kiss and stared into his eyes, looking unhappy and confused.
He wanted to say something to comfort her, but he had no idea what she wanted or needed or expected to hear.
She freed herself from his grasp and said, “I’ve got to make sure the children get fed.” Then she turned and hurried back toward the fire.
Karl stayed where he was. He’d never imagined that being married, and becoming an instant stepfather, would be so full of complications. He wished he knew more about Hetty’s life before he’d met her. The letters she’d written, filled with wit and humor, had carefully concealed the dire life she and her children must have been leading.
Karl was filled with curiosity about his new family. And with concern that he would never be able to win his wife’s love.
Patience. Persistence. Karl had both qualities. It looked like he was going to need them. He wanted Hetty willing when he finally made her his wife. He wanted her as eager to consummate their marriage as he was. He wanted their joining to be joyful and exciting and immensely pleasurable.
He wanted the moon and the stars.
Karl shook his head as he laughed at himself. It never hurt to reach for what you wanted. Sometimes, a lot of the time, if you tried hard enough, you got it. Karl wasn’t sure how he was going to manage it, but somehow, he was going to make his wife fall in love with him.
“What is this one called, Karl?” Grace asked, holding up a yellowed leaf she’d plucked from a stalk growing near the trail.
“You’re never gonna stump him, Grace,” Griffin said in disgust. “He’s probably been making up names for all these plants, anyway. How would we know any different?”
“You can give up if you want, Griffin,” Grace said, skipping along beside Karl’s horse as he examined the two-inch-wide, heart-shaped, coarsely-toothed leaf she’d handed up to him. “But I plan to win the prize.”
“We don’t even know what the prize is,” Griffin scoffed. “Or if there even is a prize. He’s probably making that up, too.”
Hetty stopped her own search for a leaf long enough to say, “You can’t win if you won’t play, Griffin.”
“It’s getting hard to find anything Karl hasn’t already identified,” he grumbled.
Karl wondered if Griffin realized what he’d admitted by that statement. Even if the boy wouldn’t play, he’d been watching and learning. Bao had suggested the game one morning two weeks ago, and Karl had gone along with it. The children would present Karl with leaves which he had to identify. Whoever stumped him would win a prize. Dennis had promised to provide the prize, confident that it wouldn’t be necessary, since Karl was an exceptional botanist. And, indeed, Karl hadn’t yet been baffled by anything he’d been shown.
“This is Heuchera cylindrica,” he told Grace.
“Heuchera cylindrica,” Grace repeated.
Griffin snorted. “Which is a fancy name for what?”
“The common name for this plant is alumroot,” Karl said, handing the leaf back to Grace.
“What is it used for, Karl?” Grace asked.
“The Flatheads chew it to relieve stomach cramps.”
“I’ll just bet they do,” Griffin muttered.
“Stomach cramps,” Grace said as she studied the leaf.
Griffin made a face. “You don’t have to repeat everything he says like it was handed down from on high.”
“I want to learn,” Grace said. “Don’t you?”
“Why would I want to know that gumweed is a remedy for poison ivy, when I don’t even know what poison ivy looks like? Or that pipsissewa tea breaks a fever? I ain’t gonna be no doctor.”
The boy might not want to learn, Karl thought with an inward smile, but his words proved he was absorbing a great deal of information.
“It’s fun to know the way all these plants can be used,” Grace argued.
“I’m gonna try that kinnikinnick for sure,” Griffin said with a grin. “Soon as I can find some tobacco to mix it with.”
Grace grimaced and shook her head, then loped off to look for another leaf.
Trust the boy to remember a plant that the Indians mixed with tobacco to make it taste less strong when smoked, Karl thought. He was amused, rather than upset, because the chances of Griffin encountering wild tobacco in the Bitterroot Valley to mix with kinnikinnick were slim to none.
“I’ve got one!” Hetty announced triumphantly, running up to Karl.
Despite his supposed disinterest, Griffin asked, “Are you sure it’s a new one?
”
Finding something Karl hadn’t already identified was getting harder and harder the closer they got to their destination, but even Karl was surprised that no one had yet found a plant he didn’t know. He’d studied hard, but he hadn’t realized just how well he knew the plant life in the Montana Territory.
Karl took the withered leaf from her and examined it carefully. At last he said, “You win the prize, Hetty.”
“I do?”
“She does?” Grace said, stopping in her tracks, her face crestfallen.
“We finally found one you don’t know?” Griffin said with a combination of disbelief and satisfaction.
“Oh, I know this one, all right,” Karl said.
“Then why does Mom win?” Grace demanded.
“Because this plant proves we’re near the end of our journey.” Karl stopped his mount and stepped down to share Hetty’s discovery with the two children, who’d crossed to stand beside her, anxious to learn what was so special about the rotted brown leaf he held in his hand. He perused it carefully, front and back.
“What is it, Karl?” Hetty asked.
Karl knew Hetty had been as avid in her search for leaves as the two children, and she looked giddy at the prospect of winning the contest. Her delight in the game had given her face a glow each morning and put stars of excitement in her blue eyes throughout each day. Karl had been enchanted. Or maybe bewitched. He was sorry to see the game come to an end.
Dennis rode up and asked, “Why the powwow?”
“Mom won the prize,” Grace announced, disappointment in her voice.
Dennis dismounted and joined the group. “Don’t tell me someone’s found a leaf you can’t identify, Karl.”
“Then I won’t,” Karl said with a grin.
“What have you got there?” Dennis asked.
“A sign that our journey’s nearing its end,” Karl replied.
“I know what it is!” Griffin announced.
“You do not,” Grace said, confronting him, hands on hips. “How could you?”
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