Karl was moved by the thought Hetty had put into the gift. Not one single flower, but two entwined. Not just any flower, but a bitterroot in perfect, full bloom. And the year of their marriage, the year of their first Christmas together, a promise of togetherness for the years to come.
Karl couldn’t help feeling that there might be hope yet for a happy future with his mail-order bride. He turned to Hetty, swallowed over the knot in his throat, and asked, “How on earth did you know what a bitterroot flower looks like?”
“I found a picture in one of your books. Is it all right?”
“It’s far more than that, Hetty. I think we should hang it over the fireplace.” He got up and placed it on the mantel, then drew Hetty onto her feet and into his arms. He held her close and whispered in her ear, “It’s perfect.”
“Hey!” Griffin said. “Don’t get sappy. We have more presents to open.”
Karl laughed and let Hetty go. “I think we’d better sit back down.”
“This big one says to Hetty from Karl,” Griffin said.
Hetty dropped to her knees beside Karl’s gift, which was too big to lift easily. She turned back to him with a childish look of delight on her face. “What is it, Karl?”
He didn’t realize his heart was in his throat until he tried to speak. He’d thought of Hetty through every step of creating her gift, which he’d started making long before he’d discovered her deceit. He wanted her to like it. He made a hmming sound in his throat and said, “Open it and find out.”
Hetty asked Griffin to cut the knots with his new knife, an act which he was delighted to perform. Then she ripped the paper off with relish, exposing the gift inside.
“Oh, Karl. Oh, my. Oh.” She ran her hands over the oak he’d polished so lovingly. Over the entwined bitterroot flowers he’d carved into the lid of the hope chest. She looked up at him and smiled, her bewitching dimples contradicting the tears shining in her eyes. “It’s beautiful.”
“Look inside,” Griffin said. “Maybe there’s a gift in there.”
“The box is the gift,” Hetty told him with a laugh.
She glanced at Karl to confirm her statement, but he said, “Why don’t you check and see?”
Hetty looked charmingly surprised, but she lifted the lid and looked. Her mouth opened in an O of surprise as she reached inside. She held up a tiny silk-and-lace dress.
“It’s a doll dress,” Griffin said in disgust.
“It’s a christening gown,” Karl corrected. “It was my christening gown.” He met Hetty’s rapt gaze and said, “I had my mother send it from Connecticut when I knew I was getting married.”
“It’s so tiny!” Grace exclaimed.
“You wore that?” Griffin said. “It’s a dress!”
Karl laughed. “It certainly is. A dress a baby wears in church when it’s christened.”
Grace turned to Hetty, arched a brow, and asked, “Does this mean you’re having a baby?”
Hetty flushed so pink her complexion became more like roses and cream than peaches and cream. She looked enchantingly flustered, glancing from Karl to Grace and back again. “No. I’m not.”
Grace looked him in the eye. “But you figure she will be.”
It was Karl’s turn to blush. He felt the heat at his throat and said, “I’m looking forward to having a big family someday.”
“What happens to us when you have all those kids?” Griffin asked, his eyes narrowed.
“I’ll keep on loving and caring for you, just like I do now,” Karl said.
Griffin looked flummoxed. Grace looked perplexed.
It was Grace who spoke first. “You love us?”
They didn’t make it easy to love them. But Karl had realized, when he was gathering the two presents they hadn’t yet received—presents he and Hetty had discussed endlessly during the nights they’d spent lying in each other’s arms—how much he looked forward to making the two children happy. Not to mention how much he’d gained in patience and forbearance from having Grace as a daughter and Griffin as a son.
“Yes, I love you,” Karl said. “And your mother loves you.” He was determined to refer to Hetty as their mother, whether the kids did or not. “Your mom has one more gift for each of you, but you have to come outside to see them.”
“I’m not dressed,” Grace protested.
“They’re right out front,” Karl replied. “Come and see.”
Karl rose and reached for Hetty’s hand to help her to her feet. He kept his arm around her as they headed for the front door and felt his own anticipation grow when he realized she was almost vibrating with excitement.
“Do we need coats?” Grace asked.
“Go ahead and grab them,” Karl said.
“And shoes!” Hetty insisted. “I don’t want either of you catching pneumonia.”
Griffin raced into the bedroom and returned with shoestrings dragging. He grabbed his coat from the rack near the door and shoved his arms into it. “Let’s get this over with. I want to try out my new knife.”
Karl exchanged a conspiratorial smile with Hetty. If she was right, Griffin not only wouldn’t be using his knife anytime soon, they’d be lucky to get him back inside the house before dark.
Grace took her coat with her into the bedroom and was in there long enough that Griffin called out, “Hurry, up, Grace. Christmas Day’s wastin’.”
Karl helped Hetty finish buttoning her coat before slipping into his own. He opened the door wide and gestured both kids outside.
Griffin and Grace stepped onto the empty porch, then looked back at Karl and Hetty, who stood just outside the door.
“So where’s this great gift you promised?” Griffin asked Hetty, his hands on his hips.
Andy came marching around the side of the house, carrying a black kitten with white socks. It had a bright red ribbon tied around its neck. “This is your gift, Grace.”
Grace flew off the porch and met Andy halfway. “It’s Socks!”
“I told your mom this is the one you like best,” he said.
Grace took the tiny kitten from Andy and held it close to her heart as she turned back to Hetty. “You said I couldn’t have a kitten for my birthday.”
“The kittens were still too young to leave their mother then.”
“Can I really keep her?”
“She’s all yours,” Hetty said, her smile almost as wide as Grace’s.
Grace turned to Karl, her green eyes radiant, and said, “I mean, can I keep her in the house? Can she sleep on my bed?”
“That’s up to you,” Karl replied, his heart beating hard in his chest as he savored the joy he saw on her face. “She’s your responsibility. You have to take care of her.”
To his surprise, Grace walked back to Andy and whispered something to him that made the boy blush before he trotted away toward the bunkhouse. Then she turned and ran back up the steps to show her prize to Hetty.
“What about my gift?” Griffin demanded.
“There it is,” Karl said, pointing behind the boy.
Griffin whirled and saw Bao leading a saddled and bridled brown-and-white pinto pony around the corner of the house. Bao stopped at the foot of the front porch steps. Griffin turned back to Karl and Hetty, his thin lips pressed flat with doubt, his dark eyes opened wide with hope. “What is this?”
“He’s yours,” Hetty said. “Karl will teach you how to ride him and how to take care of him. But you’ll have to name him all by yourself.”
For another second, the boy stood frozen. Then he threw himself into Hetty’s arms, clutching her hard around the waist. “I never thought…How did you know…? A pony!”
Hetty laughed and said, “Go and meet your pony.”
Griffin glanced at Karl, but when he tore himself from Hetty’s embrace, he headed away from him down the steps. Karl wasn’t sure whether he felt relieved or disappointed that the boy hadn’t come to him, but in any case, his throat was too thick with emotion to speak.
He noticed that G
riffin slowed his excited steps as he approached the pony, so he wouldn’t frighten the animal. Karl wondered how much the boy already knew about horses and how much he would have to teach him.
Griffin held his hand outstretched so the pony could smell his scent. Then he moved aside the pony’s forelock and caressed its forehead. Griffin’s hand moved slowly down to cheek and jaw before he reached out and stroked the animal’s powerful neck beneath its mane. Karl could almost see the boy defining and confirming with his hands the equine muscle and bone that were so evident in the wooden horses he carved.
Finally, he wrapped his arms completely around the pony’s neck and pressed his cheek against the pony’s cheek. His voice was choked as he said, “Hello, Star. It’s nice to meet you. I’m Griffin. We’re going to be great friends.”
Karl had traded with the Salish for the pony, and the animal had been hidden in a supply shed behind the bunkhouse for the past week. But it wasn’t until Griffin named the pony that Karl realized the pinto had a distinct patch of white, a star, in the center of its dark forehead.
Griffin turned back to him and said, “Can I ride him, Karl?”
“As soon as you’re dressed.”
Griffin was already on the porch headed for the front door when Karl stopped him. “And your mother gets her birthday present.”
He saw both children had completely forgotten about the plans they’d made with him the previous evening in the barn. He turned to Hetty and said, “Happy eighteenth birthday, Hetty.”
Hetty stared at Karl in shock. “How did you know that today’s my birthday?”
“The kids told me. They have a surprise for you.”
Bao tied the pony to the hitching post in front of the house and stepped up onto the porch. “Cake burned. Must start over.”
Hetty laughed and said, “It’s enough to know that you baked one in the first place. Thank you, Bao.”
“Not my idea. Kids’ idea.”
“That’s why they came to the barn last night,” Karl explained. “To see if Bao could bake a cake for your birthday.”
Hetty focused her gaze on each of the children in turn and said, “I’m so touched that you remembered. Thank you.”
“So sorry no cake,” Bao said. “Confucius right.”
Hetty smiled. “About what?”
“Confucius say: ‘Success depend on preparation. Otherwise, sure to fail.’ Wake up late. No time to finish cake this morning. Stove too hot. Cake burn. Will try again. Promise cake for supper.”
“You’re a gem, Bao. Thank you,” Hetty said.
Bao turned to the children and said seriously, “I promise make cake. Now you give gift.”
Griffin turned to Hetty and said, “We didn’t have anything to give you for your birthday, so Grace came up with this idea.”
“I know we aren’t your kids,” Grace said. “And now Karl knows it, too,” she continued, holding out a palm to keep either Hetty or Karl from speaking. “But you’re the only mother we have. So Griffin and I decided, if it’s all right with you, from now on we’re going to call you Mom.”
“Yeah, Ma.” Griffin must have seen Hetty’s face contorting because he added, “I mean, if it’s all right with you.”
Karl saw Hetty’s face crumple before she began to cry. He took her in his arms and heard her sob against his shoulder.
“You said she’d like it!” Griffin snarled at his sister.
“I thought she would,” Grace protested. “Hetty, I’m sorry.”
“Grace, Griffin, I’m not mad!” Hetty tore herself from Karl’s arms and turned to face the kids, swiping at her wet face with the backs of her hands and smiling through her tears. “I’m crying because I’m so happy.”
Griffin shared a bewildered look with Karl and shook his head in disgust. “Women!”
“You really don’t mind if we call you Mom?” Grace said.
Hetty held her arms wide. “Come here, both of you.”
Karl saw Griffin was clearly reluctant, but Grace shot him an admonishing look and he stepped close enough for Hetty to wrap her arms around both children.
“I love you both so very much. I can’t think of a better birthday present.” She showered both kids with kisses until the kitten in Grace’s arms began to mew in protest.
“I think my kitten’s hungry, Mom,” Grace said. “Gotta go.”
“Me, too, Ma,” Griffin said. “Gotta get dressed, so I can go ride my pony.”
Karl heard the door slam as the kids disappeared into the house. Hetty turned to share the moment with Karl, but he could barely see the joy on her face, his eyes were so clouded with tears.
Even though Hetty had protested vigorously at Christmas that she wasn’t pregnant, three months later, she was pretty sure she’d been wrong. She sat in one of the two willow rockers that had been moved onto the front porch, a shawl wrapped around her against the spring breeze, and chewed on an already short fingernail.
The courses that were supposed to have begun right after the New Year had never come. Nor had she bled in February or March. It was April, and Hetty could no longer deny the truth.
She was expecting a baby.
Hetty had spent a great deal of the past three months feeling nauseated. She would visit the outhouse first thing in the morning and lose the contents of her stomach, then walk around the rest of the day smiling as though nothing was wrong.
She wasn’t sure why she was hiding her pregnancy from Karl. He’d said at Christmas that he wanted a large family. He might even be ecstatic at the news that she would be giving birth in the fall. Their relationship had improved a little since Karl had confronted her and she’d spewed the truth. But it wasn’t as good as it had been before Karl found out she’d tricked him into marriage.
Hetty hadn’t realized it at the time, but during that month before the truth had come out, Karl had shared himself totally with her. He’d allowed her to see into his heart, to share his dreams. In the three months since, that door had been shut. The vulnerable man who’d admitted he loved her was no more. The magic they’d shared had disappeared like a rabbit stuffed back into the hat.
Even though Karl hadn’t been as open in their conversations in front of the fireplace, they still often made love afterward. The loving was sometimes tender, sometimes passionate, but never entirely satisfying. At least not to Hetty. Because Karl no longer held her in his arms through the night.
It was as though he could no longer bear the closeness to someone who’d lied to him so often and so long. It seemed to Hetty that, although her husband might have forgiven past transgressions, he hadn’t forgotten them.
Quite simply, Karl didn’t trust her. And if he didn’t trust her, how could he ever grow to love her again? Hetty had racked her brain, but she had no idea how to regain his confidence.
Now she’d made matters worse by neglecting to mention that she was pregnant, something Karl surely had a right to know. The longer she waited to tell him, the worse the situation became. She kept putting it off because she didn’t want him to withdraw from her any more than he already had. It was a conundrum for which she had no solution.
Except the truth. Sooner or later, she was going to have to bite the bullet and speak. And face the consequences, whatever they turned out to be.
“I’m done with hanging the wash,” Grace announced as she stepped onto the front porch. “Is there something else you need me to do?”
Hetty and Grace had worked together boiling and scrubbing and wringing out the laundry, but when Grace had offered to hang it, Hetty had gratefully retired to the porch. Even now, she felt too tired to get out of the rocker.
“Stay where you are,” Grace said, dropping into the willow rocker next to Hetty’s.
They rocked in silence for a few moments before Grace said, “When’s the baby due?”
Hetty’s rocker stopped as she planted her feet and sat bolt upright. She stared at Grace aghast. “How long have you known?”
“Since the first tri
p you made to the outhouse to lose your breakfast,” Grace replied. “And you haven’t washed your rags in months.”
Hetty leaned back in the rocker and set it to rocking again. “The baby’s due in September.”
“When are you going to tell Karl?”
“How do you know I haven’t already told him?”
“Because I haven’t seen him puff out his chest like a rooster and crow to all his friends that he’s going to be a father.”
Hetty smiled. “Is that what he’s going to do?”
“Most likely,” Grace said. “I heard what Karl said at Christmas. He wants kids of his own.”
“He said he wants a big family,” Hetty corrected. “He’s pretty happy with the kids he already has.”
Grace shrugged. “If you say so.”
“I know so.”
“Then why haven’t you told him about the new baby?” Grace asked. “Pretty soon he’s going to figure it out for himself. He’s going to wonder why you didn’t tell him sooner.”
Grace wasn’t telling her anything she didn’t already know. Hetty was convinced that when she finally confessed she was pregnant, it was going to be a toss-up whether Karl was happy about the news that they were having a baby or upset that she’d kept it from him for so long. He might even be hurt that she hadn’t shared something so special with him.
She was a little surprised that Karl hadn’t already discovered the truth on his own. Her flat belly was a lot rounder these days, and her breasts were so sensitive it was all she could do not to wince when Karl caressed them.
“Why are you so anxious to have me tell him?” Hetty asked.
Grace shrugged again.
Hetty had a sudden thought. “Are you afraid Karl won’t want you and Griffin once he has a child of his own?”
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