A pained look crossed Cameron’s face, but it was fleeting. He gave her a small smile that seemed as though it took great effort and nodded his head. “It is exactly as I have reasoned also. I will pray for you as well.”
Claudia swallowed, trying to push down the knot that was rising in her throat, and nodded. “I had better attend to my class,” she said and made her way to the classroom before he could respond.
Though Claudia thought she’d have a hard time concentrating on her pupils that morning, it turned out to be quite the opposite. As she helped them with their work, she was able to focus on something worthwhile, instead of reliving what had taken place the night before.
God did have a purpose for her meeting Cameron, and though it wasn’t for the ultimate reason she’d longed for, she had found her dear grandfather Canterbury and discovered a way to help those less fortunate than her.
She had to keep believing He would ease the pain of seeing Cameron every day, while knowing he could never be with her.
Both she and Mrs. Owen were lining up the children to eat their noonday meal when her grandfather stepped into the doorway and asked to see her in his office.
As she followed him the short distance she tried to gauge his demeanor. Had he heard the news of Cameron and Aurora? If so, how upset was he? His face gave her no answers, however, for it remained set in the calm expression he always wore. Claudia liked to call it his butler’s face, for each one she’d come across wore the same look.
Once inside, her grandfather showed her to a seat and sat in his chair stationed behind his desk. She didn’t realize she was still staring at him so hard until he demanded, “Why do you stare at me so intently, Claudia? Have I something on my face?”
Claudia blinked. “I do apologize, Grandpapa, but I was just trying to see how you were taking the news about Cameron.”
George shook his head in confusion. “Are you speaking of his making me the president of this shelter and charity?”
“What?” Claudia gasped. “When did he do this?”
“Last night he came by and—” He stopped and looked at her. “You don’t know, do you? What news were you speaking of then?”
Claudia was not pleased with the fact she would have to tell him about Cameron’s impromptu engagement. How could he not know if he lived in the same house as his employer? Stalling, Claudia said, “Why don’t you tell me your news first?”
Her grandfather stared at her for a moment. Finally he explained, “Last night his lordship informed me the duties of the shelter were growing too large for us not to have a manager present all day. So, as of this morning, I am no longer employed as his lordship’s butler but am now the chairman of the London Riverhouse Shelter,” he announced. “He told me I could lease an apartment his family owns in Hanover Square, off Bruton Street. I’ve been moving all morning and have not had a chance to speak to anyone.”
Claudia felt so proud of her grandfather and so deeply thankful to Cameron for giving him this chance. She had a suspicion he might have done it partly for her, but she was grateful just the same. “That’s wonderful, Grandpapa. I’ll have to come and help you get settled into your new residence.”
The older man nodded but laid his papers to the side and gazed at her. “So what is your news?”
She had to take a moment to get her emotions under control. What she wanted to do was throw herself into his warm embrace and cry her eyes out, but she wouldn’t do that. She’d cried for several hours through the night, and when morning had finally come she became determined to keep her emotions under control for the rest of the day.
“Lord Kinclary has become engaged to Lady Aurora,” she told him.
“He what?” her grandfather roared, standing, his expression fierce and thunderous. “I knew the woman was up to no good when she called on his lordship yesterday. And Kinclary—what right has he to play false with your feelings while pledging himself to another?”
Claudia held out her hand in supplication. “Please, Grandpapa. Sit down. Let me tell you all that has transpired.”
She quickly repeated what Cameron had told her. When she was done, she noticed her grandfather had grown quiet and thoughtful.
“Lady Aurora has been manipulating his lordship ever since they were children. I never understood why he couldn’t see through her whining and false tears,” her grandfather recalled.
Claudia sighed and knew it would do no good to speak ill of Aurora. “That is neither here nor there, Grandpapa. Should she have thrown herself into Cameron’s arms as she did? Probably not. But I know she was distraught over his refusal to honor the promise to marry her. Perhaps she was not herself last night.”
“You are being very kind to the woman who is to marry the man you love,” he said gently.
Claudia looked away for a moment. “I cannot lie and say that part of me doesn’t feel resentful toward her, but I am trying to live as the Bible teaches. I read this morning in Ephesians chapter four, verse thirty-two, ‘And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.’ I memorized it so I might remind myself of it all during day.”
Her grandfather smiled at her. “You know, Claudia—after your mother eloped with your father I had stopped praying to God, and rarely did I attend church.” He drew in a deep breath as he gazed about his room. “But when I began helping his lordship with the shelter, I felt compelled to start attending again because Lord Kinclary seemed to have such a desire to do God’s will in his life. And then you came into my life, and I began praying to God, thanking Him for bringing you into my life—even though I was a bit stubborn about the matter at first,” he added with a self-deprecating grin.
“I can truly endure this pain in my heart then, knowing it has brought us together and both closer to God,” she said sincerely and gratefully, stretching her hand across his desk.
Her grandfather covered it with his own hand, and Claudia felt immediately comforted by his touch. “Indeed, my dear. I just wish you did not have to endure such sadness and heartbreak. Can’t I do something?”
Claudia shook her head and stood. “There is nothing to be done. But I do want you to know how proud I am about your new position.”
“Thank you, my dear,” he said as he stood with her. “You’ll come to me if you need anything, won’t you?”
“Of course. But I will still be seeing you everyday.”
Her grandfather’s brows rose in surprise. “You will continue your work here? Do you think it wise?”
Claudia couldn’t be sure about anything at this point. With a sigh she shook her head and answered, “I don’t know, Grandpapa. But I do not want to stop my work with these children. I’ve come to care so much for them.”
Her grandfather nodded, but he still seemed troubled. He came around the desk and walked her to the door. “As I said, I am here for you, Claudia. You can always depend on that.”
She smiled and put her arms around him. He only hesitated a moment before returning her hug, and that widened Claudia’s smile. Though he still was not used to affection, he was learning quickly.
“Thank you, Grandpapa,” she whispered against his coat.
❧
Cameron tried to pretend he wasn’t just standing around in the hallway waiting for Claudia and George to finish their meeting. Yet that was precisely what he was about, ever since he had seen them enter the office and close the door behind them.
He knew he should have been the one to tell George about the engagement, but he could not seem to form the words this morning when he’d awakened his butler from his bed. He’d instead offered him the job of running the shelter full-time. He’d been thinking about promoting him all along, of course; but because of the devastation he felt over the engagement, he wanted to feel good about something.
Just t
hen the door to George’s office opened. Cameron headed in that direction and hoped it appeared as though he were passing by on the way to somewhere else.
He had reached the door when Claudia stepped out.
“Oh! Cameron!” she exclaimed. She glanced back at her grandfather’s office and then at him. “What are you doing?”
That is the question, isn’t it? He couldn’t very well say he’d been skulking through the hallway hoping to find out how George took the news. “I was just—,” he began then stopped when he couldn’t think of anything to say. “What are you doing?” he countered, folding his arms.
“Oh, well. . .” She hesitated. “I was just talking to Grandpapa about his new job. Thank you for that. You could not have bestowed such a position on a man more appreciative.”
He waited a moment for Claudia to elaborate, but she said nothing else. “He is the best man for the job since he worked as hard as I on building this shelter. It is I who feels fortunate and appreciative.” He cleared his throat, trying to figure a way to form his next question. “And that is all you talked about?”
Claudia looked at him. “If you are asking if I told him about your engagement, the answer is yes. What I don’t understand is why you didn’t tell him yourself.”
Cameron sighed and rubbed his finger along his chin. “I don’t know, Claudia. When I talked with him I’d just returned from speaking with Aurora’s father, and frankly I was sick and tired of speaking of the whole sordid affair. Telling George of his promotion was a pleasant alternative to the other business, I suppose.”
Claudia looked away. “I can understand that.” She glanced back at him. “Well, I’d better go and check on my class. They will be finishing their lunch, and I’ve yet to have my own.”
“Wait,” he called out softly, and she turned back to him. “How did your grandfather take the news of. . .the engagement?” Cameron could not bring himself to say “my engagement.”
She looked away again. “Think how you would feel if your sister came to you with the same situation.” She disappeared then into the classroom.
He stood there in the middle of the hallway, thinking. He had, in fact, gone through a similar situation with his sister when her fiancé broke their engagement only weeks before the wedding. It had been frustrating to see that her heart was breaking and not be able to do anything about it.
George had to be feeling the same way.
So it was with some trepidation he knocked on George’s door and stepped into his office.
All it took was one look at his face to see that George knew the whole story. “May I have a moment to speak with you, George?” Cameron asked, half expecting the older man to throw him out on his ear.
George didn’t answer right away but took a few deep breaths. Cameron swallowed hard and almost walked back out of the room.
“Of course, my lord,” he finally answered, motioning toward the chair across from his desk.
After Cameron was seated, he got right to the subject. “You know, do you not? About my engagement?”
George nodded gravely. “Indeed, my lord.”
Cameron sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “I know you must be sorely vexed with me at this moment, George, but it cannot be worse than I feel about myself.” He looked away and prayed for guidance. “It is all my fault. I made a promise in haste to keep Aurora from worrying me with her situation, and then when I told her I would not marry her, she came to the ball to find me. I should have escorted her into the ballroom straight away. She might have thought twice about launching herself at me then.”
“While it is true you should not have made the promise in the first place, it is hardly your fault that you were caught in such a position. How could you have known what she would do?”
“Regardless, we were caught, and our reputations compromised,” he said deliberately, more to remind himself. He turned his head to stare out of the window to his right. “I never believed when she came to me with her dilemma that it would come to this.”
“Surely you can see now that she never meant for this to go any other way, my lord. You have been friends for years, and while you always regarded her as a sister, her feelings were quite the opposite. This fact was obvious to me when she came to your home last night.”
Cameron jerked his gaze back to George. “Why could I not have seen this? How could I be blind to the fact that she felt this affection for me?”
The older man strummed his fingers on his desk. “You probably saw what you wanted to see, my lord. You felt no such attachment to her, so you ignored the signs that were there.”
Cameron ran his hand through his hair again as he absorbed George’s words. “I feel like such a fool,” he said wearily.
George looked at him with concern. “We all make mistakes, my lord. You must forgive yourself.”
“But this has affected not only my life, George, but Claudia’s and yours, not to mention our families and friends. My only consolation is that I will have a few months to get used to the idea of having to marry Aurora.”
“I’m afraid you don’t even have that to comfort you, my lord.” George picked up the Times he had laid on his desk and handed it to him.
Cameron raised his brow then looked down at the column George had indicated. His heart felt as though it had dropped down to his toes when he saw his name in print next to Aurora’s. “It’s a wedding announcement,” he murmured.
“Yes, your own,” George said.
Cameron glanced at him, then at the paper. It announced their wedding would take place in three weeks.
For the announcement to be printed today, Aurora had to have submitted it yesterday morning, right after he’d spoken to her and told her he couldn’t marry her.
Cameron’s stomach clenched. Last night before she left the ball she had asked him to set a date. He had put her off saying he would have to think about it.
But she had already set it.
“I’m sorry, my lord,” George said quietly. “But I thought it was something you had to see.”
Cameron folded the paper and tucked it inside his coat. “I was feeling terribly sorry for myself last night. I knelt at my bedside and asked the Lord over and over why this had happened to me. It was a selfish prayer and one I am not proud of, but God heard me just the same.” He leaned forward in his chair, his elbows braced on his knees. “I was reminded of what Christ went through before He was nailed to the cross and then what the disciples endured while they endeavored to spread the good news to all the lands. I felt contrite, of course. But then I also felt blessed. God has given me so much in my life. Why am I to throw a tantrum when things do not go my way?”
“We all grow through adversity,” George added.
Cameron nodded, looking down at his hands. “Yes.” Taking a deep breath, he clapped his hands together and rose from his chair. “Well, enough said about this. We still have a shelter to run and people to look after.”
George stood with him. “Indeed we do, my lord.”
Cameron smiled at the older man, grateful for the friendship they shared. “Thank you for speaking with me.” He nodded his head and started toward the door.
He took hold of the door handle but stopped and turned once more to George. “My greatest regret in all this is the hurt I have caused Claudia, George. I would never have started a relationship with her had I known—”
“I never thought you would, my lord. You have no need to explain.”
Cameron nodded as the pain of losing Claudia washed over him once more; then he left the room.
Sixteen
Two weeks later Claudia entered her bedroom with Helen after a tiring dinner party at Lord Paisley’s home. She admitted to Helen that it was becoming a strain to be around Cameron.
“Helen, we have attended every ball, soirée, din
ner party, and even a boring poetry reading, and still I cannot stop thinking about him. Not when I see him every day at the shelter.”
She walked to the window and plopped down on the cushioned window seat overlooking St. James Square.
“I was hoping you’d meet some other gentleman who could make you forget about your heartbreak. But then I think about my love for North and know it could not be that easy.” Helen sat down beside her and started picking the pins out of her hair.
Claudia sat up and motioned for Helen to turn so she could do it for her. “I feel as if I spend all my free time praying God will show me what to do next. I admit I cannot hear His answer. Do I stay at the shelter where I am helping others, or do I try to find another venue? I do not know.”
Helen sighed. “What about your grandfather Moreland? Is he still upset with you over losing Cameron to Aurora?”
Claudia brushed through Helen’s curls with her fingers. “Not as much. I had contemplated telling him the whole truth of the matter—the shelter, Aurora’s throwing herself at Cameron—everything. But it would not change anything.”
Helen turned and looked at her with worry. “Claudia, you cannot tell him about the shelter! You know he would stop you from going there.”
“I know. Do not be alarmed, Helen. I said I only thought about it.”
Helen turned and made a spinning motion with her finger. She then proceeded to take down Claudia’s hair. “And the Scotsman? Is your grandfather still talking about him?”
Claudia winced not only from Helen’s yanking her hair, but also because of Lord Charles MacBain, the Baron of Glenfalloch. “Unfortunately, yes. Every time we meet, he gives me a glowing description of the baron’s vast holdings in Scotland and his exalted political position in the House of Lords.”
“What of his looks? Is he old? Young? Does he play the bagpipes and wear a kilt?”
Claudia laughed. “I have no idea, and I haven’t asked. It would just encourage Grandfather. My only consolation is that the baron is apparently staying in Scotland for the season and not able to come for a visit.”
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