Jeremy glanced at me with those big eyes of his looking all serious. I hated when he did that. My heart had a mind of its own when it came to him. I tried to shake the feeling off and tossed Jeremy a look that said, “don’t try that shit again”. I yanked my hand free and stared out the window again.
“I really am sorry. I know what you’re thinking and you’re right. I shoulda been honest about Jasmine from the beginning. But I swear to you Angel, I promise it won’t ever happen again.” He took my hand and brought it to my lips.
As crazy as it sounded, it didn’t matter to me if that man had twelve kids and lived in a shoe. I still would have loved him. Jeremy pulled off to the side of the road.
“Why are we stopping?”
He put his SUV in park then took my hand again and closed his eyes. “Lord, please help me to shake my insecurities so I can be everything I need to be for this woman. I know I’m a work in progress...”
By the time he had finished, there were tears in both our eyes and I knew without a shadow of a doubt this was where God wanted me to be.
22
JANELLE
You ever feel like throwing your phone across the room?
Well, that’s exactly how I felt when I heard Kaleb’s personal ringtone, signaling that he was calling me once again. I was three seconds away from turning the phone off all together, but I was expecting a call from Mimi about a liquor order I needed for the restaurant this weekend.
Asshole!
He could call all he wanted because after his latest stunt I decided it was time for the two of us to slow it down a bit.
Kaleb had taken me to St. Louis for the weekend. As usual he spoiled me with an afternoon of shopping at Nordstrom’s. At this point in our relationship, he knew my weakness was purses and he bought me three new designer bags in pink, red and blue then we had dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. We finally made it back to our suite at the Marriott Hotel and burned up the sheets.
That evening, Kaleb took me to this new thirty and over club. I was having such a good time, laughing, holding hands, and dancing that when Kaleb suddenly went off on me. I was caught completely off guard.
“What are you talking about?”
“You heard me. I see you staring at the ugly mothafucka at the bar! You want him that bad, then take your ass over there!” he screamed.
My mouth was wide open while he stormed away leaving me standing there on the middle of the floor looking like a damn fool. A couple of people were looking over at me with curious looks. Apparently, they had overheard everything.
By the time I had made it back to the table, Kaleb was asking for the bill. He gave me the evil eye. “You always doing that secret squirrel shit? You must think I’m fucking stupid!”
“I don’t know what the fuck you’re taking about!” I wasn’t about to waste my time arguing when I had no idea what he was pissed off about, and I stormed out of the club. It wasn’t until I was outside I remembered we had driven down to St. Louis in his Jaguar. I paced across the parking lot, and by the time Kaleb had come out the club, I was calling my cousin Christina who had a loft downtown. As soon as she confirmed she was coming to pick me up, I told Kaleb to “go fuck himself” and then watched as he angrily peeled out the parking lot. It took Christina’s slow ass thirty minutes to arrive and not once did Kaleb call or come back to check on me. If fact, I didn’t hear from him until the following morning. By then I had already rented a car and rolled back to Columbia on my own.
I loved a jealous man, but Kaleb’s behavior was beyond ridiculous. All the needy shit, checking my cellphone, and accusing me of messing around on him was crazy as hell. He acted like a real life Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
I would never tell Nyree this but I was starting to feel smothered with all that “we, we, we.” Lord forbid, if I said anything about me doing something that didn’t include him and his son. I know Kaleb was trying to get me in the mindset of being a wife and a mother but damn did it have to happen overnight?
My phone started ringing again and I ignored it and moved into the bathroom to shower and get ready to meet Frankie at Macy’s. It was his mother’s birthday and he wanted some help picking her out a nice dress. He appreciated my taste. Ever since we ran into each other at Walmart, he’s been coming by the restaurant hanging out in the kitchen. It was like old times.
It was close to five by the time I had pulled into the parking lot. I removed my designer glasses, took one look in the rearview mirror and was pleased at what I saw. A true diva. I was rocking red shorts, a white spaghetti strap shirt and white sandals. I don’t know why, but I looked around to make sure no one was looking, then I discreetly slipped off my engagement ring and stuck it in the glove box.
I was climbing out the car as my phone was ringing. This time I answered.
“Yo, where you at?”
I laughed as I strutted toward the door. “I’m getting ready to walk into the store now. Where you at?”
“Right behind you.”
I swung around and as soon as I spotted Frankie jumping out his Sequoia, I ended the call and smiled. He was wearing blue jeans and a crisp white t-shirt. That brotha was fine as he wanted to be.
“Damn girl, yo man let you come out looking like that?” he joked although I noticed his eyes were traveling over every last one of my curves.
I brought my hands to my hips, making sure he didn’t miss anything. “Whatever. No man tells me how to dress.”
“I see that.”
I winked and fell into step beside him but noticed I was looking over my shoulder making sure Kaleb wasn’t somewhere lurking around. As jealous as he was I didn’t put anything past him.
We stepped into Macy’s together and I caught our reflection in the glass and was stunned at how good the two of us looked together. Too bad I was already in a relationship.
We walked over to the women’s department and I headed straight for the dresses. “What occasion are we shopping for?”
“She’s has a woman’s day conference next month and she likes to dress to impress.” He walked over to the rack beside me as he explained. “I need a hat, shoes, and all the accessories.”
“You’re such a good son,” I teased. “I got my mom some roses for her birthday to brighten up that dreary house.” Although nothing could do that other than gutting it and starting over.
“How’s your mom doing?”
I glanced over at him and shrugged. “Uh… I guess she’s okay. Losing her leg last year has been pretty hard for her.”
He nodded. “No doubt. Nam told me she had to have one amputated. I’m gonna have to get by there to see her.”
“She’d like that.” Mommy had always been fond of Frankie. It had been my father who’d had the problem with him or any other boy for that matter.
I never forget that afternoon when he had caught me and Frankie in his treehouse. Dad tried to beat the black off of me. And that’s hard to do considering how dark I am. The worst part, he scared Frankie so bad, he never came over to my house again.
My father had always been controlling and crazy.
Just like Kaleb.
I brushed that ridiculous thoughts aside and went back to looking through the racks. My cellphone started chirping again. I retrieved my phone and noticed I had a text message from CJ.
Ms. Jae, are you coming back tonight?
Goodness, the kid was starting to get attached already.
ME: No, your dad and I are having problems.
I hit Send and he immediately hit me right back.
CJ: I don’t want anyone else to be my stepmother but you.
I wasn’t sure why he liked me but then I was lovable even to the kids.
ME: Don’t worry I’m going to be your stepmother.
CJ: I hope so. I love you
There was something about this kid telling me he loved me that messed with me.
ME: Luv u 2
I put my phone away. The last thing I wanted was to start getting atta
ched to some needy kid but I guess if I planned to eventually marry his father, I had to maintain some type of relationship.
“How you doing over there?” Frankie asked.
“How about this one?” I held up a black dress that gathered at the waist and had a white lapel. It screamed Lorraine Simmons.
Frankie came over, took it from my hand and started grinning. “Oh yeah, I could see her wearing this.”
“Of course you could. You know I know fashion.”
“And that’s why I asked for your help.”
Smiling, I signaled for him to follow. “Come on. Let’s go find her some shoes.”
I managed to find myself a slamming pair as well and then we went over to G&D Steakhouse and had dinner. I was really enjoying myself. I mean really enjoying myself for the first time in months. Sometimes it takes being with friends to feel relaxed.
“You seen Connie’s crazy ass since you been back?” I asked as I bit into my Texas toast.
“Hell no,” he managed between chews. “But she knows I’m here. Mom’s says she’s been calling the house looking for me.”
I gave a rude snort. “You know how this place is. It doesn’t take long for the word to get out.”
Frankie poured A-1 on his steak while he shook his head. “That relationship is in the past. I’m ready for a real woman who’s gonna hold a nigga down. Not that crap.”
I laughed. “I was hoping you weren’t planning on hooking up with her ratchet-ass again.”
He pointed his fork at me. “So who’s the lucky dude?”
While we ate I told him about Kaleb Kerrington.
“Sounds to me life you hit the lottery.”
“I’m not one to brag,” I said with a saucy grin.
“But are you happy?”
Did he hear a word I said? I’m marrying a millionaire. “Whadda you mean? Of course I’m happy.”
While stroking his chin, Frankie explained. “What I mean is you got the nice new ride, you telling me about all the things dude’s doing for you, but does he make you happy?”
I took a sip of my diet Pepsi because I wasn’t sure how to answer that. “Yeah, I guess he does.”
Frankie stared at me. “So you’re saying you love him?”
Where was he going with this? “Yes, I love him.”
He shook his head. “Uh-huh, your mouth says one thing but your eyes are saying another.”
“What are you getting at?” I didn’t like where this conversation was going.
Frankie cut his steak as he replied, “See the problem with you is that you’ve always been in love with the idea of being in love.”
My brow went up. “That’s not true.”
He pointed his knife at me. “Yes, it is. We used to spend hours in my treehouse. All you talked about was falling in love with a man who was so rich you never had to come back home.”
I just chewed my steak and waited for him to continue.
“See you forget I grew up right next door to you. I heard what went on in your house, even witnessed it a few occasions.”
“You did?” My hand was trembling as I lowered the fork to the table.
He nodded and then reached for my hand. “I know your old man used to beat the shit outta you. We all did. But Pops used to say it was none of our business.”
So the neighborhood had known what had gone on in our house. Yet no one did anything to stop him.
I snatched my hand away. “My dad was an ass,” I said and tried to act like it was old news.
“Hell yeah. He had the whole neighborhood shook. But he was a cop, so what could anyone do?”
“Nothing. The same thing my mom used to say after he got done knocking her head into a wall.” Mommy had been a scared, weak woman. Anybody who let a man beat her children was a coward. As much as I loved her she had always represented everything I didn’t want to be.
I pushed my plate aside. Suddenly, I lost my appetite.
Frankie leaned over the table, staring at me. “Hey, I understand what you went through.”
I gave a rude snort. “What… your dad used to beat you too?”
He hesitated. “No but I felt your pain. Every time I saw the bruises you tried to hide, I felt it. I just wished you had talked to me about it.”
“What good would that have done? My own mother couldn’t protect me. The only peace I had was going to my grandmother’s house.” After Granby had passed away no one had been there to protect us. “Remember that was the only way we could be friends?”
He swallowed and there was this faraway look in his eyes. “I remember.”
My phone chirped and I sighed and tossed the napkin onto the table. “My dad is dead now so enough of the depressing shit. I heard your father bought a brand new Caddy.”
For a moment it looked like Frankie wanted to say something to me, but then thought better of it and reached for his iced tea. “Yeah, Ol’ Man is profiling in his new whip!”
I smiled. “I definitely have to get by and see him.”
After we got done eating, I went by Tropical Liqueurs for the best frozen Long Island iced tea and sipped it all the way home.
I showered, put on my favorite pajamas—boy shorts and a sports bra—then went downstairs and got comfortable on my new sofa. Last fall I decided to give my living room a new look and had the room painted a yellow and bought a white couch and accessorized the entire room in dramatic shades of blue. The room was definitely making a statement.
A quick glance at the clock and I realized Scandal was getting ready to come on in ten minutes. I sprang from the sofa and went into the kitchen. There was no way I could watch without my own glass of red wine. I removed a brand new bottle from the frig, popped the cork and poured a small glass. I made it back to my spot with just a minute before the drama began to unfold.
Knock! Knock!
“Damn,” I scowled and hurried to the door before I missed much. I should have known it was Kaleb. He was standing there with his hands in the pockets of a pair of stone-washed jeans. The red Sean John t-shirt he was wearing looked so good on him.
I rolled my eyes. “What do you want?”
“Can we talk?”
He didn’t even wait for me to invite him inside. He brushed past and waddled in. I rolled my eyes, shut the door then swung around with straight attitude. “What do you wanna talk about?”
He held his hands up in surrender. “Babe… listen to me.”
“I really don’t want to hear anything you have to say.” I walked over to the television and hit Record on the DVR. Damn, why couldn’t he have waited another hour?
“Babe… I just want five minutes of your time.” There was that rejected look about him—shoulders slouched, pitiful look on his face.
I folded my arms across my chest. “What do you want?” Damn, Scandal is on!
“Babe… I’m stupid. I do dumb stuff.”
Okay, tell me something I don’t know.
“I was worried. I didn’t know if you had made it back or what? Did you get my messages?”
“Yep, all five hundred calls and text messages,” I said icily.
“You could have at least let me know you were okay.” He had the nerve to have an attitude!
“As you can see I am fine. Now leave.” I didn’t really want him to go but it was part of the performance. I headed toward the door.
“Babe… Please. Just hear me out.”
I made sure the smirk was gone before I swung around. “I’m listening, but I don’t hear anything coming out of your mouth.”
A brief look of panic crossed his face. “Babe, I’m telling you I’m stupid! I do and say stupid stuff. I don’t know why. All I know is I love you more than life itself.”
I sucked my teeth and tried to curb my attitude. “You sure gotta helluva way of showing it.”
“I know and I’m sorry. I just go crazy when I think of some other man being with you.”
He took a step forward and as he closed in I knew I was going to
forgive him. Kaleb took my hands in his and gazed down into my eyes. There it was—jealousy, uncertainty and something else.
“Come home, babe. I miss you. CJ misses you like crazy. He told me I better go and get you back.” He pulled me toward him until our foreheads were touching.
I was hoping to give the impression that I was having a hard time deciding, but my mind was already made up. There was no way I was walking away from all that money. “I’m not gonna keep dealing with your jealous bullshit,” I warned.
“I understand. You’re right. And I’m sorry.” He brought his arms around and held me tight. “Just come back home to me. We want you there with us.”
That was the extent of our conversation.
Kaleb brought his lips down on mine in a kiss so hot and delicious, I ended it just long enough to take his hand and lead him up to my bedroom.
Sorry Shonda Rhimes.
But I’m about to do something scandalous of my own.
23
NYREE
There was a soft knock at my door. I looked up and there was Timmy standing in my doorway.
“Hey Nyree,” he said with that gorgeous smile of his. That man was too fine for his own good. Tall, handsome and a body that made a sistah want to lick him up and down like he was a fudge pop.
I sprung out my chair like a jack-n-a-box and walked around the desk and hugged him. As soon as I felt that solid body against mine, I closed my eyes. He felt good. So good I knew I needed to put some distance between us fast. Besides public displays of affection was frowned on while in uniform.
“What are you doing here?” I asked as I moved back over to my chair.
He grinned in my direction as he straddled the chair across from my desk. “I flew down to interview for the superintendent spot.”
“Oh snap! I forgot you had applied for the position.”
“Damn! You forgot about a brotha already?” Timmy tried to look hurt but I’ve known him long enough to know he was flirting with me.
“Whatever,” I said with a dismissive wave and tried to ignore the affect his deep voice was having on my nipples. Thank goodness for uniforms.
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