The Torn, Book One of the Holding Kate Series

by Cole, LaDonna

  The current built up in a split second and zapped him so hard it knocked him onto his rear. I stood there in my sports bra with my jacket dangling off one arm, panting and reaching out into thin air. The sense of having Corey ripped away from me so suddenly was unbearable.

  I stood there shivering from delight and electricity. Corey got up, brushed his pants off, walked to the dragonet and picked him up. He stood in front of me with desire simmering through his thoughts and eyes, then pulled my jacket back on, zipped it up and kissed my neck.

  “Sorry about that, my Kate.” His cheeks burned with color. His thoughts were still aroused as were mine, but he was doing a much better job of controlling them than I was. “I don’t know what got into me.”

  I stood still, shivering and panting. Watching him and listening to his thoughts as they continued where we left off, I let out a huff of breath.

  “What was that?” I spoke with a grizzled voice.

  “It seems he will let me touch you now, as long as I am holding him.”

  “Yeah, but that was…” Sexy!

  He smiled and chuckled. “Yeah, it was.”

  I cocked my head first to the dark cavern, then to the opening of the cave. “This isn’t the right time, but we have GOT to do that again!” I grinned.

  Corey’s face lit up. “So you’ve chosen? You want me over Trip?” He moved toward me.

  My face fell. I didn’t know what I wanted, the Greek god, slayer of dragons or the boy who was my soul.

  Corey read my hesitation, stepped back, and put the dragon down. The little critter scampered over to me and rubbed against my legs. “No Kate, I want you to choose. I won’t share your affections. Let me know when you decide.”

  He turned and walked out of the cave, leaving me in a haze of pheromones and confusion.

  I lay in the dark with the dragonet nuzzled under my chin. Corey slept on my right side and Trip on my left. Tara slept across the cavern and Ash slumped against the cave wall, snoring through his turn at watch. I let him sleep. I was awake, so it was good that someone was getting rest. I was tired, but every time I drifted off to sleep, the little dragon would send me a punctuated thought and wake me. I was about ready to toss him.

  So I lay silently eavesdropping on everyone’s dreams. Tara dreamed of Trip, no surprise there. She chased him around until he caught her and then surprise she threw me over a cliff! I decided I was finished listening to her dreams. Note to self: Don’t be alone on a cliff with Tara.

  Trip dreamed of his little sister. She was cute, a fragile little thing. She had straight dark hair and Trip’s large soulful brown eyes. In his dream someone had taken her and he chased them through dark corridors and halls, never quite able to reach her. “Kimmy!” He cried out in such a voice of agony and despair. He got within inches of her and then she was snatched away. Then his dream changed and an enormous green dragon clamped his talons around her and she morphed into me. The dragon flew away with me in his claws while Trip chased and cried out futilely. It made me sad. I didn’t want to hear any more of his dream either.

  Ash dreamed of traversing a mud flat with Jose. They sloshed and strained forward as fast as they could slog through it. As they went they gathered up heaping handfuls of black mud and smeared it all over their bodies, faces, arms, and legs. They took careful pains to make sure there was nothing exposed. Ash looked up into the sky and I saw that it was full of creatures. Angelic looking beings hovered above them with lightning bolts in hand. On the banks of the circular mud flat cavorted hideous and grotesque demons. They had dart guns and bows and attacked Ash and Jose mercilessly. Where the mud covered them, they could not be hurt by the darts, arrows, or lightning bolts. The places uncovered were vulnerable. Was this Ash’s Scriptorium experience? It seemed likely since he came back covered in mud.

  I listened in to Corey’s dream and smiled. He dreamed of pink fluffy clouds and flying. Bliss. Kissing. My face. I hummed in satisfaction. Now here was a boy who knew how to dream. I curled toward him, ready to settle down into the yummy dream.

  “Beauty!”

  I glanced down at the dragonet.

  “We must go now!” His eyes whirled in fear and urgency.

  “Go where little one?” I stroked his soft hide.

  “The Mother comes for you.”

  Cold dread settled into the pit of my stomach and I slowly sat up and held the dragon away from my body. I glanced at the pile of spears that had been divided between Trip, Tara, and Ash. Corey had refused to even think of killing the mother of intelligent beings until we tried all means of communication first. I was proud of his integrity, but I was also very thankful for the numerous spears that Trip and Tara had carved.

  “We have to go to her!”

  “What? You want to feed me to The Mother?”

  “NO! We must go now! The stinky one will wake soon.” It was true. I could see Trip’s thoughts, and his dreams had stopped.

  I leaned over to wake him up.

  “NO! The Mother will eat him! We must go to her and stop her!”

  The urgency of the little one’s thoughts startled me. He thought he could talk to The Mother and get her to change her mind about eating us?

  “Yes, Beauty! We must go!”

  If I could find a peaceful solution to this mess, then it was worth it. Maybe I could talk to The Mother and save my friends. I slowly pushed myself up from the cave floor, laced on my boots, and stole down into the dark recesses of the cave corridor.

  The dragonet climbed onto my shoulder, wrapped his tail around my neck and peered out of my hair.

  I stumbled along blindly and banged my shins on the jutting rocks.

  “Can’t you see in the dark, Beauty?”

  “NO! I cannot!”

  “Here, borrow my eyes.” He touched my cheek with his tiny claw and suddenly the cavern illuminated. No, the cavern was still dark, but I could see exactly where to place my feet.

  “Cool! Do you have a name, little one?”

  “Dagan.”

  “Dagan? I like it.” I reached up and scratched his back and he purred a contented sound. I giggled at his obvious pleasure, mostly to hide the fact that I was scared to death.

  “Turn here.” He showed me the corridor to the left and I slowly entered it.

  “Beauty, why do you like the Dragon Murderer?”

  “He is my friend. Why do you think he is stinky?”

  “He smells of death.”

  I sucked in a shocked breath and stumbled. How did Dagan know that Trip had killed his step father?

  “Not father. Many, many have died at his hands. He has killed so much that it has become his only way to deal with obstacles. The Mother hears his thoughts and comes to destroy him and those who side with him.”

  “Dagan! NO! She can’t! I love them. They are my family.”

  “What is this—family?”

  “The people who I love the most, my closest kin. My eggs.”

  “Yes, I chose you. You are Mine. We will let her taste.”

  “What? No! We won’t!”

  “She will taste and know that you are for the good. If she likes you, then she may leave your eggs alone.”

  “She is going to eat me?” I was about to turn around and run back screaming for Trip and Tara.

  “You are Mine. She will not eat you.”

  I settled down a bit. I was still worried. What could this little thing do to stop a full grown dragon?

  “You are Mine.”

  “Yeah, you keep saying that, Dagan, but I don’t know what it means.”

  “You are Mine. I chose you.”

  “Like a cocker spaniel?”

  “I picked you to be the landwalker.”

  “Landwalker?”

  “Yes. We are bonded.”

  I sighed in exasperation. This was getting nowhere. The little one just didn’t have enough words. Though the words he did have were quite startling. If you would have told me three days ago that I would be on a journey to be
eaten by an angry momma dragon, falling in love with two gorgeous boys, and have Xena Warrior Princess as a mortal enemy, I would have called for the men with the little white jacket. But here I was in that very position taking orders from a clairvoyant, electrostatic, baby dragon.

  “Beauty, why is he your friend?”

  He seemed intent on understanding my attraction to Trip. So, I decided to open up to the Drago-therapy session. Maybe it would help me gain some insight.

  “Well, he is everything I am not. Strong, sure, confident. I have none of those qualities and it seemed like what I needed.”

  “He thinks you are his. You are not his. You are Mine.”

  “Well why do you like Corey? Doesn’t he feel the same way?”

  “Oh no, the funny one thinks he is yours.”

  I slid to a stop. That was quite a distinction. Trip wanted to possess me, but Corey felt he belonged to me? I knew it to be true, the moment I heard it. It just fit their personalities.

  So if I chose Trip, I would always belong to him. He would be the protector and I would be the frail object of his protection. Part of that sounded really good to me. I was frail. I needed protection. The other part of me did not want to trade my freedom for protection.

  If I chose Corey, then what? He wasn’t strong like Trip, at least not in the physical sense. Stronger than me, of course, everyone was stronger than me. It wasn’t as if he were a frail little thing. He was in good shape and he had above average strength for a boy his age. Mentally, though, there was something unwavering in Corey, steadfast and true. His strength was in his intelligence, integrity, honor, and ability to love unconditionally.

  Why did I have to choose? I respected them both for different reasons. I wanted them both to be my friend. I needed Corey’s calm soothing strength of character, but that wasn’t going to do me any good if I didn’t survive this mess. Trip was the one I needed to stay alive.

  It occurred to me that they both offered those things without strings. The only thing that had strings attached was the boyfriend card. Did I need a boyfriend? Couldn’t I just have them both as friends? They would both care for me and nurture me. They would both hold me and love me in their own way. Was it wrong to want that? We could be friends. Good friends. Just friends.

  The thought of never kissing Corey again made me want to cry. GAH! I hate this! I needed strong arms to hold me. Whose arms? Was there a stronger source of security than just a boyfriend?

  “Beauty?”

  “Yes, Dagan.”

  “The Mother sees you.”

  The Mother?

  I jerked to a stop as we entered an enormous cavern. The ceiling was too high to see, but the walls glittered with soft blue luminescence. Dagan jumped from my shoulder and scampered up a walkway to a circular stone table where the soft blue light was concentrated. As he left me, my vision dimmed, but the eerie blue glow kept the room illuminated enough to see.

  The cave encompassed a circular area with blue phosphorescent sand. In the sand several ovoid objects shuddered and rocked. Eggs! The other 39 eggs were nestled in the glowing sand pit. We had entered the very nursery of the dragon mother. I eased backward a pace and considered running back to the cave when a voice spoke. No not a voice, but a thought-voice that carried such resonance it seemed aloud.

  “Dagan. You are back! I was worried about you.”

  “Yes, I have found her, Mother.”

  “The Mine?”

  “Yes, she is perfect.”

  “Bring the Mine to me.”

  I took another step back. None of this was making sense to me. Dagan jumped out of the bright blue glow and ran to me.

  “Come, Beauty, I want you to meet The Mother. She will taste and see that you are good.”

  “No, I don’t want to be tasted.”

  “You are Mine! She will not hurt you!” His voice sounded shocked that I would think such a thing.

  “Dagan, what is Mine?”

  The Mother’s voice pierced the cavern and my head. “The Mine is the one who is searched, the one who is chosen to be. Come, let me taste your aura and see if you are good.”

  Oh. My aura! Well. That didn’t seem so bad. I followed Dagan toward the blue glow, bracing myself for the frightening sight of a full grown dragon.

  When I crested the table and gazed down into the blue glow, I lurched to a stop, and my jaw dropped. Dragons of every size and form were arrayed in a massive amphitheater. I couldn’t tear my eyes from their resplendent hides and varied colors. They were beautiful and their thoughts greeted me with warmth and kindness as they touched my mind. They had anticipated my arrival for decades, evidently. I was staggered at the strength and love that poured from them to me.

  “Come to me, Mine.”

  I turned my eyes to the sound of the ancient voice, anxious now to see the matriarch of these beautiful and peaceful creatures. What I saw sent shock waves through my core.

  The Mother was elevated on a large dais where the blue glow was brightest. The glow actually seemed to originate from around her and the throne she sat upon. The Mother was not a dragon. The Mother was not an unfamiliar creature at all.

  The Mother was human.

  Old, beyond old, her shriveled skin and face were directed toward me. She held out a shaking hand and beckoned me forward. Her silver hair fell down her back through the opening of the throne and circled in piles around her feet. Her eyes were startling. Glowing with an opaque blue, like antique Christmas lights and completely eclipsed with cataracts, they stared blankly in my direction.

  “Come, Mine. Let me hold you and taste your aura.”

  I slowly crept down the stairs toward her with measured steps. Glancing around at the beautiful dragons, I could see young and old straining and craning to get a glimpse of me. When they did, their thoughts and whispers were so satisfied they smiled and swayed with happiness. I inched down the enormous amphitheater steps to The Mother.

  At the center of the great half circle of dragons, I climbed the five steps to stop before her throne. I didn’t know what to do. It seemed I should do something to show reverence, so I knelt down before her. The collective dragon sigh that followed affirmed me in my choice to do so.

  The Mother held her wavering hands covered in thin papery skin over my head and I felt warmth flow down into my brain. She scanned me. Every thought I’d ever had, every fear, every dream was hers in a moment. Instead of feeling violated, I felt peace. With every thought she touched, she left a sense of wellbeing. Even those memories that were unpleasant like my daddy leaving us, my mother’s depression, my brother’s anguished tears when they would fight, my broken arm incident, and the dead gold fish. The saddest and worse memories seemed to be cleaned by her probe. They were still there, but the feeling associated with them was purged, muted.

  “You search for strength. We offer great power. You search for a place to belong, we offer you family. You search for love, we offer it freely. I have tasted, and you are good.”

  The whole assembly of dragons roared in approval. It would have scared the liver out of me, except I could hear their accolades in their thoughts and knew they loved me and revered me above all others. It was an intoxicating feeling.

  “Mine, do you accept these gifts we offer so freely?” The Mother’s kind voice echoed in my head.

  Silence. Baited breath. They waited for my answer.

  Of course all of the gifts seemed wonderful, as though they planned to envelope me into their society and make me feel loved and wanted. I thought about how knowing they would always have my back wherever I went, would give me courage and confidence. I would be cradled in their love and acceptance. It was all I wanted: a family, again, to hold me, cherish me, love me.

  Little Dagan rubbed lovingly against my legs as they waited for my acceptance into their clan. I had so many questions, but this was not the time for them. I was pressed by an urgency to answer them so they could be free from this overwhelming anticipation of my acceptance or rejection of th
em.

  So, I nodded. “I accept, Great Mother.”

  “So be it!” She roared in unison with all dragon kind.

  The blue light blazed and became a tangible thing that coiled around me, embracing me, enfolding me. The pleasant current that I had felt when Corey kissed me in the cave buzzed around me. Pure energy lifted me off the ground and I spun about in a joyful dance. I could see through the eyes of the dragons that I was being suspended by the light force and twirled, my hair spun out around me as shafts of light in a spray around my face. The light coalesced into a beautiful sapphire spangled gown, like The Mother’s and wrapped around my body. Wide cuffs, the color of the polished steel of a sword, appeared at my throat and my wrists and burned with the bright cerulean gleam. The blue light seemed to grow brighter and brighter until the radiance of the sun on fresh fallen snow it shunted out and blanched the faces of the dragons surrounding me.

  I was the repository of all of their psychic powers. The energy flowed through me in waves of strength and charisma. I was everything. I could sense the whole world we were on. It was vast with kingdoms of landwalkers in the south. I had complete knowledge of every living being. The landwalkers in the cave above were stirring. I could see them, see through their very eyes as they spoke in panicked voices to one another. Every animal, every insect, every tree and flower and weed was a part of me. I was the source of life for everything in this world. I was The Mother.

  I looked out on my children from the throne and saw their pleased faces. The light was renewed in my youth and burned more brightly than they had ever seen. They took great pride in me and new hope was restored in me. The source of power was perfected and rejuvenated. I was the jewel they had mined to give power to their collective consciousness. The prior mother was gone, spent. She had given her last remaining power over to me, the new Mother. I had been mined as a worthy soul, and now I was The Mother of all.