by Lucy Kevin
He smiled. “Yes, you have.” They began dancing again. “You know, honey, the older you get, the more you remind me of your mother.”
“We all look like Mom,” Emily pointed out, because, after all, she and her sisters shared many of the same features.
“I don’t just mean physically. You have that same sense of calm grace. That same sense of control. Ellen was always the one who told me that things would work out, even right up to the end when she was so sick.”
Her father had said some difficult things to her today, and now Emily knew it was her turn to ask him some difficult questions. Ones she’d always wanted to ask. “What’s it like for you now? Does it still hurt just as badly, even after all this time?”
He was silent for a long moment, before finally saying, “I think some things will always hurt.” But then he put on a smile, the same one she had been trying to wear herself, as he said, “But today isn’t a day for talking about pain and sadness, is it?” Her father shot a look at Michael, who was standing over by the side of the dance floor watching them. “I’m wondering why he brought you over to me instead of dancing with you himself.”
For a moment, Emily thought about telling her father everything Michael had said. I love you. I’ve loved you for years. And I think you care about me, too. But she had always been the one other people went to, rather than the other way around.
Thankfully, before she had to try to answer her father’s question about why she wasn’t in Michael’s arms right now, the caterer rushed over to ask her a question, so her father escorted her off the dance floor. But even as she was telling the woman where to locate the extra box of tea lights, Emily was wondering—what would it be like to love someone that much? To love another person to the point where they became your entire world?
As far as Emily was concerned, the thought of loving someone to the point where losing them left a gaping hole that rendered you incapable of living your life and getting back to normal was a frightening thought. So frightening that she got shivers just thinking about ever risking herself like that—risking losing who she was and then being unable to deal with all the things everyone depended on her for.
Almost automatically, she glanced across at Michael.
No. No way. She could never allow herself to risk ending up like her father.
So deeply, so wholly in love, that she would never recover if she lost it.
CHAPTER FOUR
Michael had loosened his tie and nursed his drink as he'd watched Emily dance with her dad. At first, she'd seemed happy. But then her expression had shifted to confusion...and then to sadness. Almost as if her happiness was draining away a little at a time.
He'd managed to see her face only in glimpses during the dance, but it had been obvious that Emily and her father were engaged in a serious conversation, one that had made her expression transform step by step, turn by turn. He knew she’d felt a bit off-kilter after they’d come down the hill—after he’d said I love you over and over in the hopes of getting her to believe that he meant it. But he definitely wouldn’t have let her father steal her away for a dance if he’d thought Tres would upset her further.
Michael had wanted to break into their dance and steal her back from her father. But he knew she’d never forgive him if he made a scene at her sister’s wedding. The moment they stopped dancing, however, he headed straight toward her.
Before he could take more than a few steps, however, Emily’s grandmother intercepted him.
Seeing that Emily was discussing something with the caterer, he smiled down at Ava Walker, thinking, as he always did, that she still had it. Even in her early eighties, she could dance rings around just about anyone.
Without a word, she held out her hands and took him with her onto the dance floor. Despite his concern about Emily, he was glad to be spending time with one of his favorite people in the world.
“You are a popular dance partner today, aren’t you, Grams?”
“It seems so.” Ava smiled as she said it.
“And I’ll bet everyone here has been wanting to talk to you about your documentary, haven’t they?” Emily’s youngest sister, Hanna, had filmed a brilliant documentary about the six-decades-long Walker-Peterson feud, of which Ava Walker had ended up at the center of simply by falling in love with William. The press had been eating up the story for months, especially once they met Ava and saw how sparkling and beautiful she was.
But when Ava raised an eyebrow at him instead of replying to his question about the film, he knew he wasn’t going to get away with diverting her from the questions he could see in her eyes. Michael might not actually be part of the Walker family, but Ava had always treated him as if he were her grandson, and he loved her dearly for that.
“I think we should have a little heart-to-heart, honey.” She paused as if to let him take a moment to prepare himself for what she was about to say. “I saw you and Emily earlier, standing together at the top of the hill. You finally told her how you feel, didn’t you?”
Michael almost tripped over his feet. Over the years, he had been amazed by how often Grams had known exactly what her grandchildren were thinking, sometimes even before they did themselves.
“How did you know?” he asked her, though he'd long suspected Ava could see straight through to what was in his heart for her oldest granddaughter.
Ava smiled, moving through another few steps with him. “Honestly? How could I not know? I’ve seen both of you casually date other people, but they never seemed to ‘take’. You always came back to one another, even though I could tell you never talked about your feelings for one another and it was always just as friends. Plus, from the way you were holding her hands on that hill and how close you were standing to one another... Well, I can’t imagine you were talking about the view.”
It was Michael’s turn to smile. “You don’t miss a thing, do you?”
“There’s no secret to it,” Grams said. “You just have to pay attention to someone for a long time. You have to care about them enough to want to do that. The way I know you pay close attention to Emily and know every little thing about her.”
What Ava was saying was true. Seeing Emily almost every day, living close to her, spending so much time with her, loving her for all these years, he knew the precise lines that formed in her features when she frowned at something one of her sisters had done. The small half turn of her head that said she was really listening, even when she pretended not to. And the fact that she would never accept help when it was offered, treating any kind of assistance almost as an affront to her ability to cope.
“I would have to be a blind old woman not to see how much you love my granddaughter, Michael.” Ava smiled at him, a warm smile that told him how much she cared for him. “Her sisters all see it, too.”
Michael raised an eyebrow at that. Grams knowing everything about everyone in her house made perfect sense. But Morgan, Hanna, Paige, and Rachel being in on it, too?
“They haven’t said anything to me.”
“Perhaps they’ve been a little preoccupied with their own lives. Especially lately.”
Grams looked over to where Brian and Morgan were standing beside each other, holding hands and kissing as they got ready to cut the cake. Charlotte was following just a pace or two behind to make sure that she was the first in line while Nicholas and Rachel looked on indulgently. Joel was helping Hanna film the moment, while Christian and Paige seemed to be dodging the cameras off to the side as they also stood with their arms around each other.
“Or maybe,” Grams continued, “they didn’t think it was their place to say anything.”
He couldn’t quite believe that one. “I can’t think of the last time the four of them have held back on their opinions of me.”
“Morgan really didn’t like that tie you wore the other night, did she?” Ava said with a sparkling laugh that turned heads.
He laughed, too, before saying, “She cut it off of me with scissors.”
&
nbsp; A few moments later, however, Grams was looking serious again. “I suspect the real reason none of them have said anything to you or Emily is because they all hope that eventually the two of you will work things out. We all do. But the truth is that some things just have to take their course, no matter how long it takes.” She put her hand over his and squeezed. “I know how long you’ve waited and how hard it’s been for you.” The look she gave him was one of pure love. “But some things are just inevitable.”
Inevitable? Michael desperately wanted to believe that was true.
No, he thought with a shake of his head. He knew the love he felt for Emily was true. What he needed was for Emily to see it, too. Not only how much he loved her, but also how much she loved him.
“Besides, I know what a romantic you are, Michael. Now that all of Emily’s sisters have found their own happily-ever-afters, how can you not want yours to finally come true?”
Michael’s construction business was anything but romantic. He spent all his time doing practical things with wood and brick, glass and steel. Everything was straightforward, and there were no real mysteries, which was why he said, “I never thought I’d ever hear anyone accuse me of being a romantic.”
“Of course you’re a romantic. And it’s not a bad thing, honey. Quite the opposite—I think it’s absolutely wonderful. It’s no wonder Morgan’s wedding brought out the grand gesture in you. It’s the same way weddings always bring my son to tears and have me hunting out the best-looking young men in the crowd to dance with.”
“Including me?”
“How do you know I’m not talking about dancing with Christian?” Grams teased. “Especially now that Paige has taught him how to be so light on his feet.”
“So light that something tells me she won’t let anyone, not even her own grandmother, cut in right now,” Michael pointed out with a teasing grin of his own.
What must it be like to be that close to someone, he wondered. To love them so much that just the thought of being apart from them made you ache inside.
But the truth was that Michael already knew the answers to those questions. He’d always known, ever since the first day he’d set eyes on Emily Walker.
“All right,” he conceded, “maybe I am a romantic.”
“But you’re also practical. You know Emily so well that you know that she would never put herself ahead of her sisters. This wedding was your first big chance to really let her know what you feel. Of course you had to take that chance and declare yourself. And I’m glad you did, because Emily needed to hear it. She might not have been prepared for it, but she needed to hear it. And you needed to say it.”
Ava was right. The need to tell Emily how he felt had been bubbling up inside of him for what felt like forever. He had been holding it back for as long as he could, and today, seeing so many of the other Walker sisters happy, seeing the men who loved them happy, he simply hadn’t been able to stop himself from saying anything any longer.
“She didn’t believe me,” Michael blurted out. “She told me that I was just getting caught up in the moment and that I couldn’t possibly love her. But I know what I feel about her. How I’ve always felt about her. I love her. With everything I am.” He looked over Ava’s shoulder at where Emily was now discussing something with the lighting coordinator while looking at the screen of an iPad. “I told her that I would prove my love to her, and that I would make her believe it’s true when I say I love you.”
“Oh, honey, I have no doubt at all that you will be able to prove that to her. All she has to do is open her eyes and really let herself see what the rest of us already do.”
“I also told her,” he admitted in a low voice, “that I would prove that she loves me, too.”
He was surprised when Ava laughed out loud. “You really are the best man in the world for her. Never forget that, no matter how frightened she must have been at hearing your declaration.” But Ava’s smile fell away as she told him, “I’m afraid that after everything life has thrown at Emily, it’s easier for her to believe that you don’t love her. Otherwise, she has to start thinking about everything she feels...and everything she stands to lose.” Grams shook her head and sighed. “Unfortunately, it’s so much safer just to look after everyone else’s lives rather than put her own heart on the line and risk getting hurt.”
“I don’t want to hurt her, Grams. That’s the very last thing I want.”
“I’ve seen you spend sixteen years tying yourself in knots, trying to avoid doing just that. I know you’re not about to start now. But sometimes...sometimes the path to true happiness is a little painful. And sometimes we need to tear down parts of what’s there that aren’t working before we can build something new and beautiful.”
That was an idea Michael was very familiar with—working construction on an island full of historic buildings meant occasionally having to pull things apart to create something better. He also knew that it hadn’t been easy for Ava to be caught up in the island feud when she fell in love with William. But Michael was certain that Ava wouldn’t have changed a thing, or missed out on loving him, for anything.
“I’ve always known you two would be friends forever,” Ava said in a gentle voice as their dance came to an end, “but now that you’ve finally taken this step today of confessing your feelings to my granddaughter? Well, I’m going to finally confess mine to you. I’m hoping for something more than just friends for you and Emily. Much more.”
He smiled down at the woman who had taken him in at a time in his life when it had felt like he’d lost absolutely everything. “I’m hoping for the very same thing, Grams. For so much more that Emily will never again be able to doubt my love for her...or hers for me.”
CHAPTER FIVE
Michael loved Ava Walker dearly. She’d always been there for him, and now that he was a grown man, things were no different.
As soon as their dance ended, Charlotte grabbed her hand, and now Ava was having the time of her life teaching her granddaughter the intricate steps of the samba. Things would be different in the big Walker house now that all the sisters had moved out, and he wondered what the future held for Ava...just as he wondered what the future held for him and for Emily.
Once upon a time, when he was a child, he’d assumed life moved in a linear fashion. You played with your friends, went to school, got a job, fell in love, and had a family. But sixteen years ago, he’d learned that life wasn’t at all linear. Not when one horrible moment could make your entire life crumble around you.
Ava and the rest of the Walkers had helped him through his pain.
But no one had helped him more than Emily.
* * *
Sixteen years ago...
“I’m so sorry for your loss, Michael,” the woman said.
She explained who she was, something that sounded official, but right then Michael couldn’t focus on much of anything. His parents had died the day before in a car crash, and now his house was full of people he barely knew, and all of them were eager to tell him just how sorry they were.
But being sorry didn’t change anything, did it? Being sorry didn’t make the car accident not happen. Being sorry didn’t make his mom and dad reappear to fill the house with talking, and laughing, or even arguing. And being sorry sure didn’t take away even a fragment of the pain that had settled inside him, tangling up his heart, refusing to budge.
There were so many people in the room. Distant relatives whom he hadn’t seen in years and whose faces he barely remembered. Neighbors who had known his mom and dad, but whom he didn’t know well, if at all. There were also a couple of “official-looking” people, such as the woman currently talking to him.
He didn’t want any of them here. He didn’t want them in his parents’ house, saying empty, meaningless things about loss and healing while his mom and dad were gone forever.
“Yeah, sure,” Michael said when the woman finally stopped talking. “I’m going to get a drink of water.”
As h
e headed to the kitchen with his head down, even though it felt like there was a hard-rock band playing inside his skull, he still couldn’t help but overhear what people were saying about him and his parents.
“How could they have been driving like that?”
“The house will have to be sold, of course. A teenager can’t look after it all on his own.”
“Where is he going to go now?”
Eventually, the fragments of conversation blended into a dark certainty that was bigger than the sum of its parts. A certainty that everything that had happened the day before was not the end of Michael’s problems, but just the beginning.
And that even when it felt like the world should have already completely fallen apart, the worst was yet to come.
He slipped out the back door before anyone noticed, setting off down the street, not really knowing where he was going. Just as long as it was away from the house that should have felt so safe, but now felt more like a hole into which he was about to fall, being pushed slowly toward it by well-meaning people telling him how sorry they were for his loss.
Moments later, Michael’s heart stalled in his chest. Emily Walker was making her way along the road from the opposite direction, golden-haired and beautiful. She was walking toward him the way she had ever since they were little children meeting for a playdate at the midpoint between their two houses, holding their moms’ hands. Moms who were both gone now.
He could see that midpoint on the sidewalk now, a patch of sidewalk in front of a vacant lot and next to the right turn that led toward the center of town. A small signpost, pointing to a couple of the island’s attractions, also marked the spot.
For years, they’d made a game out of trying to meet exactly at the midpoint, sometimes making it easy for one another, more often racing to it. Recently, she’d grown tall and graceful, easily able to stride across the distance, so he walked a bit quicker.