by Unknown
YOU’RE SUCH AN IDIOT! She screamed in her mind. How can you fall for the one person you can never have?
Suddenly there was a soft tap on the door, and Alice froze.
“Alice,” Parker’s voice came through the door. “I forgot to mention; your clothes came the other day. Maria put them all in your wardrobe. It’s up to you if you want to wear them. Maria also unpacked the bags Jenny brought back from her apartment yesterday… I just wanted to let you know.”
“Okay, thanks,” Alice replied as she tried to sound as normal as she could. The last thing she needed was for him to know she had been crying.
“Are you sure you’re okay,” Parker replied and Alice eyes instantly glazed over with fresh tears.
“Yep,” she replied from where she was sitting on the bed. “I…ummm…I’m just going to jump in the shower real quick.”
Parker didn’t reply for a moment, and Alice held her breath.
“Okay,” he finally sighed, and Alice knew he was less than convinced.
Before he could push her more, she climbed from the bed and headed straight for her bathroom, putting yet another door between them.
As she stood beneath the shower, she laughed at how stupid this whole ridiculous thing was. Only she would marry a man she didn’t even know, and fall in love with him, knowing she couldn’t keep him.
She closed her eyes and lifted her face up into the stream of hot water, letting it wash away her troubles. Flashes of her dreams filled her mind.
Parker’s mouth on her bare skin, his hands touching every part of her, how he looked into her eyes as he filled her completely.
Alice’s heart started racing, as an ache formed between her legs.
You have lost your damn mind! She laughed to herself as she quickly pushed all thoughts of her and Parker from her mind. Maybe it’s just been too long since you last had sex! You need to get a grip.
She switched off the water and climbed out of the shower. Wrapping a towel around herself, she headed back to the bedroom and opened her huge walk in wardrobe.
Alice froze the moment she saw all the new clothes hanging there. There was so much more than she had remembered. She reached out and touched all the delicate fabrics, and her heart ached. This felt wrong somehow. She didn’t want these clothes; she didn’t want any of it. The only thing Alice wanted was Parker.
She quickly shut that thought down and turned towards her own belongings that were also hanging in the wardrobe. Today she needed to feel like herself, wearing her own things, and try like hell to pretend that her life wasn’t the train wreck it really was.
As Parker parked the car, Alice pulled down the visor in front of her and checked her reflection. She sighed when she saw the dressing on her forehead, sticking out like a sore thumb.
“Are you okay?” Parker asked for what seemed like the millionth time that morning.
“Yeah,” she sighed as she pushed the visor back up and glanced over at Parker. “I just wish I didn’t have this stupid thing on my head. Gram is going to freak out. She already worries enough about me…”
“Why does she worry about you?" Parker asked, watching her closely.
“She thinks I’m sad,” Alice said unsure why she was telling him any of this. “She thinks that I am letting my life pass me by.”
And are you?” Parker asked giving her a look that made her heart hurt.
“I don’t know,” she replied honestly before she pushed opened the door and climbed out of the car.
Alice waited for Parker to join her on the sidewalk before she headed towards the entrance of the nursing home.
“Alice,” Annie, the head nurse said when she looked up and saw her walking along the corridor. “What in God’s name have you done to your head?”
“It’s nothing,” Alice replied with a smile. “Honestly. How has Gram been?”
“The same,” Annie replied with a sad smile. “She seems to tire a lot quicker lately. She missed you yesterday.”
“I know,” Alice said as a knot of guilt formed in her stomach. “I hated letting her down, but it was out of my control.”
“Well,” Annie offered as she glanced from Alice to Parker, then back to Alice. “She will be happy to see you today.”
“Thanks, Annie,” Alice replied not missing the look she had given Parker. Alice knew that Annie knew exactly who he was. This made her feel both uncomfortable and a little angry. She knew Annie was judging him, without even knowing his whole story. Alice had no idea why, but she felt protective of him.
Without even thinking, she reached out and took hold of his hand. Maybe it was her way of protecting him; maybe she was letting Annie know they were together and she had no right judging him. Either way, when she did, Parker instantly closed his hand around hers and gave her a smile.
Alice led him down the hallway, towards her grandmother’s room. She paused for a second, when she reached the door before she forced a smile on her face and led Parker inside.
“Hey, Gram,” Alice said as she walked through the door, knowing the moment her grandmother saw her forehead, the questions would begin.
“Hey, Peanut,” Sophia said as she looked up from her book and smiled, but the moment she saw Alice, her smile faded. “Alice, what’s happened?”
“Nothing for you to worry about,” Alice said as she kissed her grandmother on the forehead. “It’s just a bump…”
“Don’t tell me it’s nothing to worry about,” Sophia insisted. “You’re hurt, now I want to know what the hell happened.”
“I fell and hit my head,” Alice sighed, knowing her grandmother wouldn’t let it go till she told her the truth. “I needed a couple of stitches, and I had a mild concussion, but I’m okay, I promise.”
“You had a concussion?” Sophia exclaimed leaning forward in her seat. “Why didn’t you call me, I could have been there…”
“I was fine!” Alice assured her, taking hold of her grandmother’s hands as she gave her a reassuring smile. “I am fine. Besides, Parker was there, and he took care of me, so there is nothing for you to worry about.”
Sophia looked up at Parker and then looked back to Alice.
“So, you and he…” Sophia said, looking back up at Parker once more. “You took care of my granddaughter?”
“Yes, Ma’am,” Parker replied. “I did. I promise you, she is safe, and nothing like this will happen again.”
Alice cringed at his words. She wanted her grandmother to think she had just fallen, and Parker just made it sound a whole lot worse.
“Gram,” Alice said quickly, needing to change the subject. “This is Parker. Parker, this is my grandmother, Sophia Blake.”
“Lovely to finally meet you, Mrs. Blake,” Parker said offering Sophia, his hand.
“Please, call me Gram,” Sophia replied as she shook Parker’s hand. “Everyone does.”
“Okay, Gram,” Parker replied with a smile before he looked up at Alice and his smile widened.
“So,” Gram said turning her attention back to her granddaughter. “You worked things out.”
“Yes,” Alice replied and did everything she could to hide how she was feeling inside. “We decided that we both wanted to make this work.”
“That’s all you can do,” Alice sighed, then smiled. “That’s what me and your grandfather did. Thirty-seven years we were married. Felt like forever, yet no time at all. He was the love of my life and my best friend, but every day we were together, we had to work at it. I don’t regret one minute of it.”
“That’s just what I plan on doing,” Parker replied, surprising Alice. “I want this to work, so I will do whatever it takes. I just want to see Alice happy.”
“I believe you do,” Sophia said, as she looked up into Parker’s eyes. “I believe you will make my granddaughter very happy. She just needs to allow you to.”
“Then I give you my word,” Parker said as he crouched down in front of the old woman. “I will do everything in my power to make sure she does.”
“Good,” Sophia said with a smile as she took Parker’s hand. “Now, tell me how she banged her head.”
Parker explained to Sophia about what had happened with the photographer, and how he would do whatever he had to, to ensure that Alice was safe from now on.
Alice was surprised by how well Gram and Parker seemed to hit it off. Gram asked him questions about his family, and Parker told her all about his parents and Nicole. Then Gram told him stories about Alice when she was growing up.
Alice sat and listened to them as they talked, and all she could think about was how much she wished all of this was for real.
She hated that she was deceiving her grandmother and that she was letting her like Parker when she knew they were never going to be together, not like that.
“You’re very quiet, Peanut,” Sophia said as she gave Alice a worried look.
“I guess I am still not feeling one hundred percent yet,” Alice said, giving her grandmother a weak smile. She hated she was lying yet again, but she didn’t know what else she should say. “And I have a bit of a headache.”
“Then maybe I should be getting you home,” Parker said as he stood up, and he too gave her a worried look.
“I’m okay, honestly,” Alice sighed. “We don’t have to leave…”
“If you’re not feeling well,” Gram said as she reached over and took Alice’s hand. “Then you should go.”
Alice opened her mouth to argue, but she knew there was no point. Unless she was prepared to say what was truly on her mind, she knew she had to play along.
“Fine,” she said as she stood up from the bed and grabbed her bag. “I will come by tomorrow to see you.”
“There is no need,” Sophia insisted as Alice leaned down to kiss her grandmother.
“I want to,” Alice insisted, and she closed her eyes and pressed her lips to her grandmother’s forehead. “I will see you tomorrow.”
“Okay, Sweetheart,” Sophia sighed, knowing there was no point in arguing with her granddaughter.
“It was lovely to meet you, Gram,” Parker said, as he too leaned down and kissed the old lady on the cheek. “Would it be okay, if I came by to see you again some time?”
“I would like that, Parker,” Sophia smiled as she looked up at Parker, then at her granddaughter. “I think you two will be just fine. There is nothing you can’t get through as long as you love each other.
Alice smiled, but inside, her heart broke at Sophia’s words. If they loved each other! If only that were true.
When they said their goodbyes, Alice and Parker headed back to the car in complete silence, each lost in their own thoughts.
Alice had thought that bringing him here to see Gram would be simple and easy, but she had been wrong. It just confused her further. Seeing him with her grandmother had just shown yet another side to Parker, and it just made her like him even more.
As they drove back to their apartment, Alice had an overwhelming desire to cry. Her throat hurt and her heart ached, but she refused to give into the tears. She had no intentions of crying in front of Parker; not now or ever. She told herself she needed to shut her feelings down, or she would end up getting hurt.
That’s what her head told her, but her heart didn’t want to listen.
She glanced over at Parker as they travelled in the car, and she wished she could just be honest and tell him how she felt. Maybe he might have surprised her. Maybe he might feel the same way too. He had after all, taken care of her, and he seemed to genuinely care for her.
He wants this to work, you idiot! She scolded herself in her mind. He wants this to work because he wants his father’s company, nothing more.
Alice sunk into her seat further and closed her eyes. Now her head really was pounding, as she wished for it all to stop.
Chapter 17
Parker
The ride home was very quiet, but Parker sensed that Alice needed the time to think, so he left her to her thoughts.
When they reached the apartment, Alice said she felt tired and that she was going to lie down. There was so much Parker had wanted to ask her, but he didn’t say a word. Instead, he just watched as she walked down the hallway to her room.
He headed into his office to try and get some work done, but he couldn’t really concentrate. Parker’s thoughts were consumed with Alice. He didn’t know what had happened, but something had upset her.
Finally, after a couple of hours, he gave up on work. He stood slowly and headed for the hallway. Before he knew where he was, he was standing outside Alice’s room.
He looked down at his watch and saw it was almost six. He told their friends to come by about seven, but he still hadn’t told Alice that they were coming over.
Parker took a deep breath before he reached up and softly tapped on the door. He waited for a reply, but none came. He thought for a moment, and the sickening feeling in his stomach took hold, that maybe she had left again. Without even thinking, he reached for the handle and pushed opened the door. The instant he saw her fast asleep on the bed, he released a breath of relief.
He watched her for a moment and sighed. He knew by the red blotches on her face that she had been upset before she had fallen asleep. Parker was surprised by how well he knew her already.
He could tell when she was worried because a tiny V would form just above her nose. When she was nervous, she would twist a strand of her hair around her fingers. When she was happy, her eyes crinkled at the side, and she had the tiniest dimple in her left cheek. And when she was upset, as she was now, her face got red blotches, and her nose turned red too.
He knew he needed to wake her, but part of him didn’t have the heart. Still, he wanted to give her time to get ready for their friends, so he knew he had no choice.
Parker crouched down next to the bed, and gently brushed her hair back from her face before he whispered her name.
“Ummm,” she sighed as she rolled over.”
“Alice,” he whispered again, and this time he reached out and softly touched her face.
“Parker,” she breathed out in a contented sigh and smiled.
Parker froze the moment he heard his name. She was dreaming about him; again! He watched her and waited, though he wasn’t really sure what he was waiting for.
“Parker,” she sighed again as she turned back to face him. As she did, she opened her eyes and looked up at him, clearly surprised to see him there. “Parker!”
“Alice,” he replied as his hands became sweaty and his heart began to hammer rapidly.
“What are you doing in here,” she asked as she looked up at him, looking almost thrown to see him there.
“I was trying to wake you,” Parker explained, his voice cracking with uncertainty. “I…um… are you okay?”
“Ye…yes,” she said, her eyes holding his, and Parker could see that her breathing was shallow and fast.
Parker didn’t speak; he could barely think over the sound of his heart thundering in his ears. As his eyes dropped to her lips, he considered what it would be like to kiss her.
“Parker,” Alice said, as she pushed herself up in bed so that now, her face was only barely inches from his.
“Why were you upset?” Parker asked in a hushed voice. “Have I done something to upset you?”
“You? No!” She insisted as she held his eyes with hers. “You haven’t done anything wrong.”
“Then why are you upset?” He asked in a whispered voice.
“It’s nothing that matters,” Alice sighed, as she gave Parker a sad smile.
He knew there was something she wasn’t saying, something that was getting to her, but Parker had no idea what that was. He wanted to push her more; he wanted to take her in his arms and begged her to talk to him, but he knew he had no right to do that.
Instead, he just looked into her eyes, as his heart thundered inside him.
Parker had never felt so drawn to another human being, as he was drawn to Alice. As a million thoughts ran throug
h his mind, the only one thing he could focus on was how much he wanted to kiss her.
For a moment, it felt like time had stopped, and that there was nothing or no one else in the world except him and Alice. Slowly, he inched closer to her.
Alice stared at him, and Parker had no idea what she was thinking. Suddenly, her eyes dropped to his lips, and he knew that she was thinking about kissing him too.
Parker took a deep breath and slowly moved towards Alice until her lips were just an inch from his.
Just as Alice closed her eyes, the buzzer for the front desk sounded, and Parker quickly pulled back.
“Alice, I…um…” Parker said, struggling to find the right words. He wanted to tell her how he felt, but nothing sounded right in that moment. There were no words for what he was feeling inside of him.
“I’m sorry,” she said as her face instantly flushed with embarrassment, and she looked like she wished the ground would open up and swallow her whole. “That was all my fault.”
“No, that’s not what I mean” Parker began to protest, but the buzzer sounded again. He stared at her for a moment, and he knew that the moment had passed. He blew out a deep breath, before he pushed up from the floor, still looking at her with uncertainty.
“It’s fine,” Alice replied, looking like she wanted to cry again. “You should go see who is at the door.”
“It’s probably Jenny or one of the guys,” Parker said as he walked to the bedroom door, and tried his hardest to hide the disappointment he felt. “That’s why I woke you. I invited them over tonight. I thought it might help lift your spirit a little.”
“Thank you,” Alice said as she nervously brushed her hair back from her face, and tucked it behind her ears. She wouldn’t allow her gaze to meet Parker’s and this just made him feel even more disappointed. “That was very sweet of you. Is it okay if I change quickly?”
“Take as long as you need,” Parker said and gave her a smile, wishing more than anything that they could have their moment back. “They are early, anyway.”