by Monica May
I try to slip out of the bed without waking him, but that’s impossible to do without disturbing our little cocoon. A sleepy-voiced Grant tells me again how much he loves me and wishes we could stay in bed all day. “What a nice thought, but I have to go feed the hungry children in the kitchen, and then we are off to work.”
Kissing my forehead, he lets go of me. “Alright, lets go feed the kids.”
I text Samantha and Karen to see if they can meet me for Mexican food and margaritas this coming Friday. I let them know I need some individual attention at the restaurant to discuss a previous topic. As usual, Samantha is excited because she just knows it has to be about her sex doctor, but not this time. That girl is nuts; I have to take baby steps, and I am not sure I will ever be ready for her Dr. Love.
Friday takes forever to arrive. We are meeting at our favorite Mexican restaurant, and it is a perfect night to meet. There is a live band playing tonight, and we won’t have to whisper to avoid the people at the next table hearing every word we say. I got there early so I could be one drink ahead of the others; I need some liquid courage to get through this. Taking the last sip of my first drink, I see Karen enter the restaurant. I give her a wide smile, and she gives me a sad smile as she scoots into the booth next to me. “Are you okay? It’s not like you to drink alone. How bad is it that you need a drink to talk to us?”
“Karen, you know how I am? We have been good friends for a while now, and we’ve never talked about sex like this. This is just a bit weird for me without being a little loose!” She frowns at me again. “Don’t frown at me. I just need to get comfortable because this is a bit out of my comfort zone, okay?”
“I will give you this one, but we are all big girls; we all have sex. It’s really no big deal.”
My eyes get big as I shake my head. “I know, Karen, but trust me, this is off the charts for us.”
“You really think so? You also thought that your husband’s top three list was only HIS top three and not the top three of every man on the face of the Earth.”
We both bust out laughing because she’s right. This may not be that out of the box, but I don’t have a clue. Samantha enters the restaurant and walks our way. She waves and smiles at at us from across the room and yells, “You bitches started drinking without me?” Yep, she’s nuts. We both hide our faces with our hands pretending she’s not with us, as she sits down at our table.
“Come on, girls, the music is so loud no one heard me.”
“I’m sure the older couple that rolled their eyes at you heard you just fine.”
“Screw them; what ya got? Let’s cut to the crap, and tell me if you are going to see Dr. Love or not. That’s what this meeting is about, right?”
“No, Samantha, I am not going to see Dr. Love; however, I have another invitation that’s just as intriguing, but I need help from ya’ll to make the right decision.”
“Oh, I’ve got to hear this. But when you’re done, I have a story to tell ya’ll. My Great-Aunt Gertrude just gave me some intriguing family history that I can’t wait to share. So spill it woman; Karen and I don’t have all day. We need to get a buzz on and get home to our hubbies. You know, they love it when we get buzzed since they get a good wild night when we get back.” Karen slaps at Samantha’s hand playfully, trying to get her to shut up. “What? You know it’s true. That is the only reason they agree to watch the kids and pick us up so we don’t have to drive home drunk.”
I lean in closer to the middle of the table. “This is the deal, girls. I went to the sex toy place I told ya’ll about near my work.”
“Oh yea, I am still a bit mad with you because you wouldn’t take me.” Samantha pouted.
“Well then, you’ll probably be pissed when I tell you what happened to me when I was there. So please hold all outbursts until the end of the story because I may not have it in me to tell it all if you interrupt every two seconds.”
Karen and Samantha both listen to my escapade at the sex shop quietly with non-judging expressions. Once I’m done, I sit back, take a long pull of my drink, and wait for the bomb to go off. But it never does. It appears Samantha knows I need her to be serious and truthful. She leans over the table to where Karen and I sit, and with a wild smile on her face, she quietly says, “I really think this is more your speed. Dr. Love is great, but she’s for crazies like me, not you. I know this won't surprise ya'll, but I have been to this type of club before. I have not been to the one in New Orleans, but I have been to one in New York. Phillip and I had a great time. Like I said, you know we are a bit wild, and this was right for us after Dr. Love. We had a great time, and let’s just leave it at that.”
Karen has not said a word so I’m afraid I am making a mistake by considering it; is she in shock? I knew Samantha would be onboard, or I should say overboard. But if Karen thinks its nuts, then I may have to pass on the idea without even bringing it up to Grant. I look over at Karen, and she seems to be glazed over, in another world. “Karen, hello, anybody home, Karen? Do you think I am nuts? Is this a bad idea? Her eyes finally shift to mine, and she smiles before looking down toward the table.
I barely hear her say, “I have always wanted to do that, but have never told anyone about it.” She looks up at me with a flushed face. “If it makes you excited to think about going, then you should go! I have heard that it’s very difficult to get into that club.”
I let go of the breath I didn’t realize I had been holding. “Really, Karen? You think I should go?”
“Hell, yes!” Samantha yells from across the table. What the heck am I over here, chopped liver? Don’t you care what I think?”
Karen and I can't do anything but laugh at her. Samantha gets serious again, which always makes me nervous. She motions Karen and I to lean across the table to get closer to her, and she starts to share the rules of the sex club.
“Shelby, you really have to hear what I’m about to tell you, and don’t take it lightly. You know I don’t usually talk all serious, but I want to make sure you have fun and don’t get yourself and Grant into more relationship trouble.”
I know where she is going with this, but since she has been to a similar place, I better hear her out.
“I’m sure you have a packet, right?” I nod my head yes as she continues, “Your packet will tell you everything I am telling you, but I want you to understand that it’s a big deal. Don’t go into it without agreeing to the rules first, or this could end your marriage.”
This forces me to take a deep breath, because this is supposed to be helping, not hurting. “Shit, I should pass on this, right? This is not for me?”
“Shelby, get your head out of your ass and listen to me. I’m not telling you this to make you back out. I just want to make sure you enjoy yourself and not hurt your relationship. I’m assuming you don’t want to swap partners or add a partner while you’re there?"
I don’t answer her as I look down at the table.
“Am I correct, Shelby?”
My eyes dance around the room and back down at the table as I nod my head yes.
“Come on, Shelby, I have been to places like that. Don’t be embarrassed.”
“Yes, you are correct. I just thought it would be sexy to check it out and see what goes on.” It’s hard to whisper with the loud music playing, but I say the rest in the lowest audible voice I have. “If we have the nerve to do it out there in front of other people, then we can, but won’t that be a game-day decision?”
“That’s what I thought, Shelby. What you need to do is tell Grant you were invited and that you really want to check it out. Let him know under no circumstances will you swap partners or share either of you. Advise him that you will have to make those intentions clear prior to your visit. You set the rules, and let him know that’s what makes you comfortable. Once you choose, you will be given a wrist bracelet that lets everyone there know what your choice is. They wont try to swap with you if you don’t have on the correct color bracelet. They will mingle, and the entire
atmosphere will be very sultry. The idea is to try and have you change your mind for the next visit. Promise me, Shelby, that you will do this—that you will set the rules whichever way you want them before you go, but don’t let anyone push you to do something you are not comfortable doing.”
“Yes, I promise.”
“Have fun, my girl. You go be the sex kitten I always knew you were under those stuffy clothes.”
“Girl, have I ever told you that you are nuts?”
“Ha, yes you have, many times. And I love being nuts because that means I’m not boring.”
Karen finally pipes up, “Samantha, boring is something we will never accuse you of being. Now, let’s give Shelby a break, and you tell us about your Great-Aunt Gertrude’s story.”
Chapter 14
“Oh yea … y'all are going to die when you hear this.” My great-aunt is ninety-eight years old and has a mind like a steel trap. She has not forgotten a thing in her life. I try to visit her every month, but it’s hard sometimes since she lives in the middle of the French Quarter. Actually, it’s not far from that club you have been invited to.” She’s looking at me as she wags her eyebrows trying to be funny. “So, anyway, because it’s forty-five minutes away, and it’s such a pain to park in that area, I don’t always make it as often as I would like. I have to admit, I get my spunk from the old lady. Everyone else in our family is very stuffy. In old-people fashion, Aunt Gertrude immediately reminds me that it has been a month-and-a-half since I last visited. She asked me to sit at the end of her bed. Like me, she is rarely serious, so I got very worried. For nighty-eight, she’s in great health, but I don’t know how long her body will allow her to hang on. She pulls an envelope from under her sheet and tells me she wants to go over her will. She never had children, and she is not afraid to admit I have always been her favorite, which is something that everyone in our family already knows. Even though she was in her late sixties when I was a teen, I always remember her being very sexy for her age. My mom would always remark how inappropriately she dressed for her age, and that she was a shame to the family because of her past. But no one would ever say what that meant. When I was old enough to ask about her past, the subject never came up, so I didn’t ask. Aunt Gertrude decided to tell me about her past yesterday.”
“Great Aunt Gertrude”
“Samantha, you know you have always been my favorite? We are so much alike; unlike the rest of our family, we are fun and full of life. From the time you hit puberty, I always saw myself in you. You were so sexy and confident. I see you starting to blush, but please don’t be embarrassed. I’m about to tell you why the family has always been ashamed of me. You can save your blushing for later. Before I tell you, please know I have never been ashamed of my actions. I promised them I would never tell my story in order to save them the embarrassment. But quite frankly, Samantha, at ninety-eight, I really don’t give a damn what they think. In this envelope, I have my will. Everything I own I’m giving to you. You have never judged me and have always loved spending time with me. I’ve always wanted to tell you the truth about me, and you are plenty old enough to hear it.
“I graduated college as a teacher because that’s what my parents wanted me to do. I never wanted to be tied down with a husband. I loved men way too much to have only one. Back then that was considered ‘shameful.’ My parents had a lot of money, and they put me up in this very apartment here in the Quarter. They said if I wanted to act like a whore, I could live with them on Bourbon Street.”
“I wasn't too offended by their comments as I never cared what other people thought of me. I have always been a good person, and they couldn’t see past what they called the provocative side of me. But to tell you the truth, I was just very sensual. So let me tell you as quickly and painlessly as possible.
“You see, I knew I was not a whore, but the whores were making more money than teachers. It was the mid-forties and the War was over. All the Navy ships stopped here at the Port of New Orleans to restock before moving on to other destinations and bringing our boys back home. There were some good-looking men on those ships. I taught school during the day, but would spend my nights having fun in the Quarter. While having drinks with a sailor from Maine, we wandered into a … what do you call them today? A strip club? Back then, they were called burlesque shows. I was drawn to their movements, to what they were doing, and how beautiful they looked. It was a true show with dancing and singing, and their costumes were so elaborate, not to mention the amount of money they were pulling in.”
“Keep in mind, by then, I was twenty-nine years old and an old maid in those days. Luckily for me, I have always ignored my age. I left my soldier's lap to find the owner of the establishment. Hell, another boat full of soldiers would be in port the next weekend. I found Maxine and told her I wanted at job. She asked me about my experience. I told her, ‘I have twenty-four years of dance and thirteen years of sex which makes me more qualified than the eighteen-year-old kids she had up there.’
“Needless to say, I came back in the morning for an audition and got a job. I still taught during the day, but danced on the weekends. I loved it; I was meant to do that. I felt so much power when I was up there. Months later, my parents were killed in a car accident, and as their only child, I received all their money and property. They owned the entire block this apartment sits on. I opened my own club with my newly inherited money and property. They left me enough money to make it a high-class place, not a sleazy club like Maxine was running. You should have seen it! Red velvet sofas, large dazzling chandeliers, and black glossy stages that the girls danced on. I trained my girls to be elegant, and my club was the highest-grossing club in the south. But once all of our boys were home from war, the boring fifties set in. By 1955, I was begging people to visit the club just to stay open.
“I had visited Las Vegas and was invited to an exclusive party there. I won't go into details, but I knew New Orleans’ old money would love this type of club. They like to think they have something that poor people don’t have or can’t be a part of. So I exploited that. Downstairs was the burlesque club, and upstairs was the exclusive club. This was unheard of in the south at the time, so I had to pay off a lot of people. I kept a few of my best girls downstairs with a sexy décor to keep the atmosphere going. But it was never a whorehouse like your mother has always believed it was.
“I charged people an obscene amount to become members, and they did what they wanted to each other while my girls danced in chic birdcages out of reach from the patrons. This lasted through to the mid-sixties until the DA closed the joint down under some bullshit law. The building has been boarded up ever since that day. And now it’s your turn to do what you want with it.
“I’m not saying you should do what I did, but if anyone could do it with class, it would be you. And if you rent it out to a church to save all the sinners on Bourbon, I would be fine with that also. I can feel that I only have a little time left, and I just wanted you to know I was fun, sexy, and a legend in my own time. You are the only person I have ever known that would still love me and be proud of me for it.”
“Oh, Aunt Gertrude, that’s the best history lesson I’ve ever had. I thank you for including me in your will, and I promise I will give it deep thought before I make any decisions. But please tell me you have pictures from the past to add to my imagination.”
With a smile, she said, “Well, of course, I do, dear. I knew you would have a positive reaction. Go to the wardrobe, open the long mirror, and pull out the large tin box. All my photos and news clippings from that time are in that box. There are also some diaries you can read, once I’m gone.”
Samantha sits back and lets us take in her story. “Aunt Gertrude and I had a great time going through that box and bringing her back to her younger years. She was a fox.” Karen and I are both sitting there with our mouths hanging wide open. We just look at each other in utter shock.
“Did you just make that shit up? This is too ironic that your aunt is spe
aking to you about a sex club when I have an invitation to one.”
“You know I believe in signs. This is your sign to go for it. Now, let’s get the hell out of here. All this talk about sex has me horny! I texted Phillip to pick us up about ten minutes ago. Let’s go wait outside.”
Chapter 15
Now, how to tell Grant? I feel as if I’m in the middle of a transition; a caterpillar turning into a butterfly. I’m not quite ready to fly, but I want to break out of this cocoon. The sex goddess within me has been awakened. I have daily thoughts of making love to Grant. I find myself thinking of ways to sexually surprise him or trying to think of what we can do that will be exciting, even at work. I think of what I can buy to wear under winter outfits that will drive him crazy as we sit at the kids’ games or at dinner.
Yet with all that going on in my head, I’m still too shy to tell him it’s there. I want to break that habit. I am almost forty years old, and I have been married for twenty years. There’s nothing to hide from him; this is it, and this is us! It’s official. I am breaking free of my cocoon and flying like the beautiful butterfly I know I can be.
I make some calls and arrange for the kids to spend Saturday night away from home. I make reservations at Ruby Reds, a historic steak house, in New Orleans. This place is a small hole in the wall with the best steaks around. I requested a booth so we would be able to sit very close without others hearing our conversation. They also have long white tablecloths. Yep, no one can see what's going on under the table.
The dress there is casual. Grant is in jeans and a polo shirt, and I decide on a maxi dress with a sweater and knee-high leather boots. November down south is beautiful. Our fall has dry and cool weather. Did I happen to mention I left my panties at home?