by D. A. Roach
“Hey, thinking about doing a time slot?”
I just about jumped out of my skin. I smelled a spiced scent just faintly in the air. It reminded me of my dad getting ready for work when I was young. He used a similar cologne. I turned and found myself face to face with Jared. He was tall and lean with messy brown hair. He was not a jock, but he was fit. He wore a black t-shirt, worn and ripped jeans, and black Chuck Taylors.
“Yeah, I think I might call. It could be a lot of fun; of course I have no experience.” Stop talking, you sound like an idiot! My self conscious warned.
“Cool.” was all he said.
“Hey, have you had lunch? I was getting ready to meet Jen and a few others and you are welcome to join us.” I offered.
“Thanks but nah, Greg and I ordered a pizza. See ya'.” and he turned and headed back toward the guys wing.
“Bye.” I said quietly. What was that about?! He didn't say much, but he approached me. I retrieved my package and headed to lunch trying not to over-think things.
“What's in the box?” Jen asked.
“It's from home. There is a card, a little bit of money, a CD from my bro, and a newspaper article.”
“No cookies or candy!?” Jen was desperate for a little chocolate treasure.
“Sorry Jen. So what is everyone wearing tonight?” I asked the table. We all chatted about different wardrobe options. When we opened our closets to each other to mix and match – we had one hell of a collection to choose from. After discussing the details of the evening's plan I started to get up to leave. I knew I needed to buckle down this afternoon and get some chapters under my belt before tonight. I had a quiz, a paper, and a test this upcoming week. Before leaving, I announced that I would be in hiding till 6PM. They all giggled. I was envious of them for having majors that required less studying than mine. Their homework actually looked fun. Mine looked like a science and math monster vomited on the page.
I put the stereo on and buried my nose in the books. At 6PM, I opened my door and the sounds from the other rooms filled the hall. I brought my outfit and makeup to Mags and Lauren's room and started to get ready. There were 5 of us girls singing to the radio and getting fancied up. Mags and I were the only ones that didn't drink. We told the other girls we would remain sober and be sure they got home safely at the end of the night. We had one rule in our gang of girls: Never leave anyone behind.
The line for the party was huge. We waited several minutes in the cold October night air till it was our turn to have our names checked off the guest list. Once inside it was like an old, large house turned into a club. Black lights, strobe lights, loud music, dancing everywhere, drinking, laughing, and tons of people. I enjoyed the loud music and began to feel comfortable here in no time at all. Jen was off charming the pants off some guys, Lauren and Mason were kissing on a couch, Mags had found a classmate to chat with and I leaned against the wall and scanned the scene.
You could tell who the frat guys were. The brothers who lived here looked more beefy, like football players. Mason wasn't on the college team, but he was a footballer in high school. In the middle of the crowd I saw my Chemistry lab partner, Ben. I tried to wave but he did not see me. I would have to mess with him on Monday about seeing him. Ben was cute, though he wasn't the hottest thing on the planet, but he was also smart and a super nice and funny guy. He was here with a friend; I would have to ask him later if that was his roommate.
A very drunk guy came up to me and slurred, “Are you out of drink? You need a drink sweetie? Why are you not drinkin'?” Oh boy, this one was beyond ripe.
“I'm good, thanks for checkin'” was all I managed before turning away.
“You can have some of mine; I'll share with someone as beautiful as you.” Eye-roll. This drunk was gonna' make me leave my comfortable spot. Thanks a lot buddy.
“No, you can finish it; I really need to go to the ladies' room. Excuse me.” and I walked quickly away from him. I was in such a hurry to get away from him that I did not notice this couple leaning against the door frame. I slammed right into them. “Sorry, I was just...” and I looked from them holding hands together, up to their faces. I could not believe my eyes. In front of me stood Jared and some random girl. My mouth fell open and I knew I had to collect myself fast. I felt like someone just stomped on my heart. “Jared. Sorry. I, I gotta' go.” I said and turned and practically ran away from them. I heard him yell something after me but I didn't want to hear it. I had just met the guys a few days ago, why did this hurt to see him with this girl? Ugh. I hated this feeling. In the bathroom I splashed cold water on my face and tried to steady my breathing. I was stuck at this party. I had volunteered to not get drunk and ensure my friends would safely make it home. How could I stand to be in the same room with Jared and random girl? Maybe I could find Ben and chat it up with him. He would be a good distraction. With my plan ready, I decided to be brave and head out.
I looked high and low for Ben. Unfortunately, there was no sign of him. I started looking for my friends but they were all still occupied. I decided to grab a drink, preferably an unopened can of Diet Coke, and join in on the flirt session Jen was having. With my drink in hand, I scanned the room for Jen but instead saw Random Girl against the wall with Jared touching her cheek with his hand and leaning in. I felt jealous of this girl and wanted it to be me that Jared was touching. He leaned in even closer. Oh no, please no. They kissed, and not a peck. My God I needed to get the hell out of here. I found Jen and told her I didn't feel well. She rounded everyone up and we headed back to the dorms. I felt bad for being the party pooper, but staying any longer would have killed me. I still didn't understand why I was so affected by what Jared did. He wasn't my boyfriend and I barely knew him.
“Goodnight everyone.” I whispered as I closed my door and hopped into my bed. I had lain awake reviewing the images I saw in my head, all of them with Jared in them. I needed to quit this. He was obviously interested in that other girl and I was too interested in him. I should just be happy for him and let him enjoy a nice relationship with whomever he wants. Why were the unattainable guys the ones that I desired? I did it so many times in high school that I lost count. I passed up so many guys that had asked me out because as soon as I had won them over, I lost interest in them. Dan was the worst. He was a heartthrob, a senior dating a college girl and totally unattainable. I was just a freshman but I set my eyes on him and pursued and pursued, flirting, laughing, and lots of eye contact. After several months I noticed his interest turned toward me and he asked me out. This was what I had wanted the whole time. Only now I didn't want it. I said no and truly was not interested in him anymore. What was wrong with me? Why did I push guys away as they came close? I probably crushed a few egos and destroyed a few relationships with my unhealthy pursuit of love. I couldn't do that again, not to Jared. I vowed to not pursue Jared and allow him his happiness with Random Skanky Girl.
Chapter 4
The next morning I was up bright and early. I went down to breakfast on my own since I knew most of the crew would be sleeping the night off. Apparently most of the dorm was sleeping the night off too since the dining hall was very quiet. As I was getting milk for my cereal, Greg popped up next to me “Fruit Loops, breakfast of champions!” I giggled.
“Hey Greg, you like your Fruit Loops, huh?”
“Indeed I do. Did you go out last night?” he asked. I wondered if Jared said anything about seeing me at the party.
“Yeah, typical frat party. How come you weren't there?” I asked.
“I don't know, me and a couple of guys on the floor decided to play some cards instead. It was fun – boys’ night!”
I nodded. “Cool, well, see ya'.” I wasn't sure if I should have invited him to sit with me at breakfast. I was actually nervous that Jared would come in and sit with Greg, thus forcing me to interact with him. I needed to get my brain right before talking to him. He was an acquaintance that I had music in common with, nothing more.
After breakfas
t, I went back to my room and found my roommate there on the phone with her mom. She was trying to convince her mom that the reason she hadn't gotten a hold of her was because her mom called at the wrong times. The truth was that she was hardly here at the room to even take a call, but she did not want her mom to know that. I grabbed my books, waved at her, and headed toward the study room. Speaking of moms, I needed to call home this evening. But first, I needed to commit to memory 100 slides for the upcoming Biology test.
After hours of studying, my brain was in a fog. I was done and needed some social interaction and grub. I stashed my books in my room and knocked on doors to see who wanted to eat. At the dining hall Jen had invited Ian and Tim to eat with us. We introduced them to all the girls. Tim seemed to have an instant attraction to Mags. She was so sweet and innocent. She had beautiful long hair and a petite body. Maybe Tim saw all those things in her too; she was the package deal – the one you would want to marry. They would have to overcome their shyness to get anywhere though. Ian fit right in and the occupants of our table already seemed like a little family that had known each other for a long time. Laughing, joking, and teasing each other.
“Perry, would you come with me to Ian's room after dinner? I know you wanted to veg with me, but I left my notebook there last week.” Jen asked me.
“Sure.” I could do this. Greg and Jared's room would probably be closed anyway. Why did they have to live right across the hall from our new friends?
We put up our trays and followed Ian and Tim back to their room. As we approached I noticed the door was open to Greg and Jared's. I hoped we could slip in and out quickly. I hung back in the hall and waited.
“Hey Perry.”
I turn around to see who is addressing me. It's Jared, looking more incredible than ever. Jared must have just showered, his hair was wet and in every direction, t-shirt and jeans, with a towel over his shoulder.
“Hi.” I squeaked out and looked toward the floor.
“Why did you hurry off at that party?” he asked curiously.
“Umm, I just needed to use the ladies' room. Did you have fun?”
“It was OK; I am not a huge fan of frat parties.”
“Was that your girlfriend?” My God did I just say that??? I know I thought it but I didn't mean to ask it.
“Well, she is a girl and sort of a friend, so I guess. She kind of was a sucky date. She drank too much and passed out. I had to get her home and babysit her to make sure she didn't choke on her puke. Not my idea of fun.”
“Sounds lame, but that was nice of you to take her home.”
“Thanks. I don't think I will be dating her again anytime soon. Whatcha' doin' down here?”
“Jen forgot her notebook last week and needed to retrieve it.” I am still trying to process that he just said he was not going to date her again. My inner cheerleader is shouting in my ear, “The skank is away, it's Perry's turn to play!”
“Cool, well, See ya'” he said as he winked at me and headed into his room.
“See ya'.” I replied and sighed.
When I got back to my room I called about the Radio DJ slots. I was told to come to a meeting on Tuesday night in the radio station. I felt pretty excited about learning how to DJ like my brother.
Next it was time to call home. My parents made me promise to phone them every other day. It was fine in the beginning but as we got further into the semester, I had fewer things to talk about. I didn't want to talk about parties or boy drama. And talking about class material that they didn't understand was pretty boring. Unfortunately, the lack of talking material led us to more arguments on the phone. There were many times I would hang up the phone frustrated or crying. I had hoped this would not be one of those times. My side of the conversation went like this:
“Hi Mom, I'm OK,”
“Yeah the weekend was uneventful. I got together with a bunch of my friends one night and studied like crazy the rest of the time.”
“Yeah, I have a lot of tests and quizzes this week. Wish me luck. Oh yeah, I am also going to start DJing at the dorm radio station.”
“Mom, relax, I am studying. I won't let it take up too much time. Be realistic; it's just three hours a week – that's not too much.”
“Why can't you just be happy for me?”
We ended equally frustrated with each other. This was nothing new; we had bucked horns for as long as I could remember. It's like we just didn't know how to talk to each other without pushing each other's buttons.
I got my stuff ready for Monday and headed to bed.
Chapter 5
November
The biology lab test was this Thursday. I was dreading it. We had two hours to look at and identify 100 slides. Then we had to demonstrate our ability to stain and prep a slide and demonstrate our ability to streak a Petri dish. I felt confident in most of the material (thanks to many hours of practice and studying) but I didn't know if I could identify that many slides. I would have to put in more book time this week to get ready for it. After Biology, Sarah (a girl I knew from back home), caught up with me. “Hey Perry! Wait up.” I had wanted a clean slate from home. Luckily, Sarah was not gossipy or catty enough for me to want to run.
“What's up?” I asked.
“Um, are you ready for the test?” she asked sheepishly.
“I'm working on it. I need to work on my slides some more but the rest I have a good understanding of.”
“Would you mind studying with me? I am feeling a bit lost and if I don't get a good grade on this, my semester grade will go south.” she begged.
Sigh. I didn't really want to help, I had enough on my plate, but I am a people pleaser by nature and my mouth said “Sure, how about tomorrow night at the library?” Darn mouth.
“Awesome! Thanks a ton. See you then.” and she bounced off. She was not a flighty ditz; she was actually a decent student so she must be getting tripped up on something in the material. Maybe it would be beneficial to us both to study together.
I ran off to my next class and went on with my day. After lunch I had Chemistry lab. “Hey Ben!” Ben always had a smile for me. He was like your typical smart, hometown, nice kid. He was cute in his own way.
“Perry! What's new? How was your weekend?”
“Busy. Lots of studying and a frat party. Hey, I saw you at the frat! Who were you with?” I inquired.
“No way, why didn't you say 'hi'? That was my roommate. His name is Dan.”
“Cool, umm, I was going to say hi but I needed to use the ladies' room and by the time I was done, I couldn't find you.” I said.
“Ahh, next time say hi to me first.” he said and teasingly bumped my hip with his. I loved Ben. He made Chemistry so much more fun.
“Class, today we will be titrating and documenting our results.” The lab instructor announced.
“Time to get busy I guess.” Ben said. He gathered the chemicals we needed and I collected and set up the equipment.
“Remember to be careful with the Potassium Permanganate. It will stain your skin.” the instructor cautioned.
“Well, at least it won't melt our skin off. We can handle some stains, right Perry?” Ben teased.
“Speak for yourself Mister.”
Once we were all set up I decided to try titrating first. I poured the Potassium Permanganate into the burette and settled the beaker just under it. I slowly turned the valve of the burette to let the Potassium Permanganate out and the valve broke free splashing the Potassium Permanganate all over my shirt and hands. Ben looked at me with shock but then erupted in laughter.
“Shoot!” I spat out while running to the sink. “Now I will look like I wiped my bottom with my hands all week.” Ben ran over, grabbed some napkins and began cleaning up our lab table. Our instructor had told us the truth; this stuff stained and was impossible to get off. I dried my hands and sighed, knowing I would be the butt of Jen's jokes at the dining hall table for the next week.
On the walk back to the dorm I put on my headphone
s and listened to the guitars and heavy bass line flowing through my speakers. It was 4PM and lots of students were headed back to their dorms or apartments. The air was getting cooler and Thanksgiving break was just a couple of weeks away. I wondered what it would be like walking to class with snow on the ground. I wondered if they would give us more than ten minutes to get across campus when there was a foot of snow on the ground.
BUMP!
I turned around quickly to see Jen giggling at me. “Gotcha! You were in headphone land and tuning out the world. I knew I could sneak up on you.”
She looked all cozy and cute in her knitted sweater and scarf. She only had a book and a pencil in her hand. It must've been her light class day. “Only one class today? Slacker.”