Gone With the Windsors

by Laurie Graham

  3rd June 1935

  To the Scottish Office to watch Trooping the Color. Melhuish had organized a window for us. Also came: Elspeth Laird, the Otto Bismarcks, Ena Spain, and George Lightfoot. More horses, more bands, then the King rode out on the very stroke of eleven. I suppose, if you’re the King, you can arrange for a clock to strike when you’re ready and not before.

  Doopie wearing lip rouge and the little necklace I bought for her. Flora looked quite presentable in a blue dress with a white sailor collar, but she’s in disgrace for trying to make skyrockets out of sugar and pickling salt.

  As Doopie said, “Lide a madge. Boom!”

  8th June 1935

  Mr. Stanley Baldwin is the new Prime Minister.

  George Lightfoot calls him The Dormouse. Mr. Atlee, the Socialist, he calls The Slug.

  As our lovely cruise has been vetoed, HRH is taking Rock Cholmondeley’s new villa instead. It’s not absolutely finished, but we can have it for the month of August, because Rock will be in America, playing polo.

  I can’t believe Sybil Cholmondeley knows anything about this. She’d never have agreed to David bringing Wally there, using it as a love nest. Hattie says it’s more Rock’s house than Syb’s, and anyway, whatever Syb’s opinion, Rock will have been in no position to refuse a favor for the Prince of Wales. Rather like Ernest’s situation, really.

  12th June 1935

  With Wally to Asprey to buy HRH silver hairbrushes for his birthday. I got him a propelling pencil. She has her eye on a gilt fur-clasp. A little more than I’d planned on spending for her birthday, but perhaps I’ll treat her. She doesn’t look well these days.

  17th June 1935

  Ernest has fabricated an urgent business trip to Antwerp and refused all Ascot invitations. Our revised summer plans are taking shape. After the Cholmondeley villa, we’ll be traveling on to Budapest. More worker housing for poor HRH to study, I suppose. Difficult to know what kind of clothes to take.

  To the Crokers for a pre-Ascot dinner.

  18th June 1935, Sunninghills

  Boss Croker says Budapest definitely doesn’t have a beach, so I’m going to need a whole other wardrobe. He and Ethel believe Ernest may be cracking up.

  Ethel said, “The best thing that could happen now is for him to meet a nice girl.”

  Best for whom, though?

  19th June 1935

  Wally’s birthday. She’s thrilled with her fur clasp. HRH has given her emeralds to match her Christmas pin. He kissed her in the drawing room.

  Ladies’ Day. Prince Harry’s bride-to-be was in today’s landau parade. Another little mouse. Elizabeth York wore buttercup, Marina Kent was in café au lait, Violet in the fourth carriage was unusually elegant in delphinium.

  HRH drove straight to town after the big race. Tonight is his big speech to the men of the Royal British Legion, as composed by Wally.

  20th June 1935

  HRH’s speech received a standing ovation, apparently. The gist of it was that it’s time to put old enmities behind us and embrace the new Germany. He proposed that the British Legion set an example by sending a friendly delegation to break bread with German veterans.

  Poots Butler said, “Sir! You’ll be known as the Prince of Peace.”

  Jack Aird stony-faced.

  22nd June 1935, Fort Belvedere

  HRH has been summoned to the Castle. Jack Aird has gone with him. Poots thinks he’ll be getting a rocket about inviting Mrs. Simpson without her Mr., yet again.

  23rd June 1935

  HRH did get a telling off from the King, but not about Wally. It was about the British Legion speech. Poots got it blow by blow from Humphrey, who got it from Jack Aird.

  The King told him he had no business making speeches that contain anything of substance, and most particularly not sentiments that are likely to offend Mr. Mussolini. He told him his job is to cut ribbons, keep his mouth shut, and find himself a wife.

  Well, HM King may not have approved of the speech, but Hitler’s Mr. Goering did. I saw his telegram of congratulations. Fruity Metcalfe says anyway it isn’t HRH who’s likely to offend Mussolini but Anthony Eden, who campaigns against Italy’s ambitions in Africa whilst conveniently turning a blind eye to Hitler’s ambitions in Austria. Just thinking of it makes one tired.

  Still, what a birthday present for poor David, rapped over the knuckles and in front of Jack Aird, too.

  4th July 1935, Wilton Place

  To the Compound. The Benny Thaws have gone back to Washington, so that chapter has closed. What a relief. Connie never forgave any of us who stayed loyal to Wally. Understandably. Her first loyalty was bound to be to Thelma. I hope Violet would be as staunch for me.

  Randolph Putnam telephoned to wish me a Happy Fourth and tell me what he’s going to do with my gardens. I said, “Not my gardens, Randolph. They’re yours now.”

  He never gives up.

  6th July 1935

  Bumped into Philip Sassoon in Curzon Street.

  I said, “I suppose Sybil’s ordered you not to speak to me?”

  He said, “My dear Maybell, Syb’s far too busy to interest herself in Wales’s sordid affairs, and so am I. I hope you’re well?”

  He didn’t know about us using Rock’s villa.

  He said, “Le Rrroc, by rrroyal command! How very generous of him. I wonder if it will come up to Mrs. Simpson’s exacting standards.”

  He pecked me on the cheek. Lime cologne.

  Dinner at the Prosper Friths. Prosper reckons Anthony Eden is going to push Mussolini into the arms of Adolf Hitler. Well, I hope he waits until we’ve all taken our vacations.

  7th July 1935

  To Carlton Gardens. Flora and Ulick were fighting, because she’d twisted the head off one of his tin grenadiers.

  He said, “The sooner you’re sent to Suffolk and kept under lock and key the safer for all our property.”

  She wasn’t supposed to know about Suffolk.

  Doopie was just on her way out to visit with Marina Kent, all smiles. They’ve become great friends, apparently. I believe Doopie may have started wearing a girdle.

  12th July 1935

  Took Rory to Rules for sirloin of beef and Yorkshire pudding. Fourteen years old! A little down on his top lip, his voice no longer what it was but not quite what it will be. He has a new trick with two pieces of string, which he performed for me and then for the table next to ours, by popular request.

  He said, “Flora doesn’t want to go to her new school. She says she’ll run away.”

  I said, “Well, she might take to it. I remember when you didn’t like school so much.”

  He said, “Yes. But Flora’s different. I thought I might hide a ten-shilling note in her manicure case, so that if she does run away, she won’t be without funds.”

  I said, “Do you have a ten-shilling note?” He said, “Yes. Well, I did have. Uncle George Kent gave it to me, and I’ve got nine shillings and fourpence left. Do you think that would be enough?”

  I said, “I think it’s very generous. The trouble is, I very much doubt whether Flora ever opens her manicure case.”

  He said, “Aunt Maybell, can people get married even when they’re old?”

  I said, “Even when they’re ninety-nine, so you’ve plenty of time.”

  He said, “I’ll probably marry Moo Anstruther-Brodie. Lady Anstruther-Brodie thinks it would be a good idea.”

  I said, “I thought you were sweet on Ellen MacNab?”

  He said, “That was when I was young. But her father’s only a gillie, you see.”

  He says Ulick will go to Sandhurst in two years and eventually marry Lilibet York.

  22nd July 1935

  Freddie Crosbie is having dinner with Ernest this evening, at Ernest’s request.

  23rd July 1935

  Lunch with Pips, Ethel, and Hattie. The top and bottom of Freddie’s dinner with Ernest was that Ernest is coming to the end of his patience and is giving Wally till the New Year to decide.

&nbs
p; I said, “To decide what?”

  Pips said, “To tinkle in the pot or get off it.”

  Ethel said, “To decide whether she’s going to get a divorce and marry the Prince.”

  Ethel’s only a visitor here. She doesn’t understand how these things work.

  I said, “She can’t marry him. David has to marry someone who can be Queen. She has to have the right blood and no previous husbands.”

  Hattie said, “Anyway, what’s Ernest doing telling Freddie this? He should be telling Wally.”

  Pips says Freddie was there as a sounding board. She said, “Ernest doesn’t really know what he’s doing anymore. He was such a fan of the Royalties. Like a dog with two tails, to have Wales dropping by. He wants to make a stand, tell Wales to back off, but he can’t bring himself to do it. It’s against everything Ernest ever believed in, poor sap.”

  Hattie said, “Of course, there is another possibility for Wally. If David gave up the succession, he could marry her.”

  The silliest idea I ever heard.

  I said, “What would he do?”

  Hattie said, “I don’t know. Putter around his garden. Take Wally shopping. It’s just an idea. He’s got three brothers, so there’ll always be someone who can be King.”

  I don’t agree. If you took Bertie York and Kent and Harry and put them all together, you still couldn’t make a king out of them.

  I said, “What I want to know is, why now? Ernest’s known about everything for months, but he was grateful enough to go to the Jubilee Ball.”

  Pips says it’s a lot of little things. The sapphires, the emeralds, the phone calls at all hours, Mr. Loo destroying his Aristophanes.

  25th July 1935

  To Bond Street with Wally for last-minute shoes. Ernest left for New York this morning. I said, “Everything all right?” She said, “Perfectly.”

  So much for the issuing of deadlines.

  I said, “What would you do if David asked you to marry him?”

  She laughed. She said, “Remind him he’s the next King. Remind him things like that only happen in fairy stories.”

  I said, “And what would you do if he turned down the job of King so he could marry you?”

  “Run!” she said.

  28th July 1935

  Lunch with George Lightfoot, who hardly spoke a word and allowed his turbot to go cold. I said, “Are you sick?”

  “No,” he said, “I’m in the pink. I just wanted to say, I’m very fond of you, Maybell.”

  I believe he’s in love with me. Such a dear. He’s far too boyish for me, of course, too virginal. It will take a man of the world to interest me in that way. Poor George. I just laughed gaily and told him I regard him as the brother I never had. He took it very well. Perhaps by the time I get back from Cannes, he’ll be over it.

  Tonight the train to Nice. Judson and Hattie, Whitlow and Gladys, Boss and Ethel. Oxer Bettenbrooke is equerrying.

  4th August 1935, Villa Le Roc

  Rock Cholmondeley’s villa is well equipped but not luxurious. It has tennis courts, a swimming pool, sail boats, two Bugattis. A man’s home.

  5th August 1935

  Judson and Whitlow have found bicycles and gone off exploring. Boss is swimming laps. HRH is doing needlepoint on the terrace, and leaping up and down to adjust Wally’s sunshade. Winston and Clemmie Churchill are staying at the next villa and dropped by with their youngest girl. Clemmie looked a picture of elegance in vanilla silk and a big straw hat. Winston’s plug ugly. HRH tried to engage him on the subject of what’s to be done about the working man, but he seemed not to be in the mood for political debate. In fact, I rather thought he was quietly studying Wally.

  7th August 1935

  The Westminsters’ yacht put in last night. We’re invited to dinner. HRH is for it, but Wally never likes to be too much in the company of Loelia. So young, so beautiful, so rich.

  8th August 1935

  The Westminsters are setting off toward Sardinia and wanted us to join them, but Gladys says there’s a very real danger of getting boarded and raped and plundered by Communist brigands, so we’re all quite off the idea.

  The Rogerses have invited us to dinner. Wally said, “Now Ethel, I don’t want you and Herman dragging everyone down your Chinese memory lane. It was all a long time ago and it’s very boring.”

  Ethel said, “Nothing much along my memory lane, Wally, apart from one dead husband.”

  14th August 1935

  Kath Rogers says she sees a great difference in Wally. “More poise,” she said. “For one crazy moment, I almost curtsied to her.”

  19th August 1935

  Daisy Fellowes has arrived with the Bajavidas. There’s talk of taking a trip to San Remo to see Lily and the Cavetts. We were supposed to have drinks with the Winston Churchills, but they’ve gone back to London because of the crisis over Abyssinia.

  Wally’s strapped for funds. With things as they are, she found it hard to ask Ernest for more.

  23rd August 1935

  A thunderbolt from Drumcanna. A call came through from Lightfoot.

  He said, “I have something to tell you. Doopie and I are going to be married.”

  It was a very bad line.

  I said, “She’s mentally deficient.”

  He said, “She is not. She’s adorable.”

  I said, “Don’t do a thing until I get back. You have no idea.”

  He said, “I knew you’d be beastly. We’re getting married tomorrow. Before she changes her mind.”

  I said, “Promise me there’ll be no children.”

  The line went dead. French telephones. Now I don’t possibly have time to get to Drumcanna to stop things. Violet is so incompetent.

  Hattie says I’m overreacting. She said, “Doopie’s thirty-two and she is adorable.”

  I said, “She can’t hear.”

  Ethel said, “Well, she seems to have managed to hear a proposal.”

  I doubt it. Lightfoot probably got Flora to mime it.

  24th August 1935

  Finally got through to Violet. I said, “Are you going to allow this madness to go ahead?”

  She said, “It’s not madness, Maybell. They make a very fine couple.”

  They’re being married at Crathie this afternoon. Melhuish is giving her away. Then they’re going to Skye for the honeymoon. Honeymoon! I’m sure Violet won’t have told her what to expect.

  Whitlow says probably not a bad thing for one half of a couple to be deaf.

  25th August 1935

  To the Rogerses for dinner, though I was in no mood for a party. Bob Boothby was there, also on his way back to London because of the Abyssinian situation. He says if there is a war, it will only be a small one. He says the government has done the right thing in demanding sanctions against Italy, because there won’t actually be any sanctions but Britain has been seen to make a stand, and the only damage sustained is to our friendship with the Italians, which, knowing the Italians, will soon be regained.

  26th August 1935

  Hattie insisted on motoring into Nice to buy a wedding gift for Doopie and Lightfoot. A Russian tea urn. I’m not sure I’ll give them anything. Sneaking off like that.

  Ethel said, “I think you were a bit in love with George Lightfoot yourself.”

  What silliness! He’s too young for me and without a lick of sense, as he’s just proved.

  29th August 1935

  Wally and HRH are back from San Remo, with a wonderful new dance called the rhumba. They’ve proposed themselves to the Bajavidas in Palm Beach for January. Ethel and Boss are going to come with us to Budapest, Hattie and Judson are heading back to London.

  31st August 1935, Hotel Beau Rivage, Geneva

  Tension. HRH and Wally had already left for the train station when Oxer realized nothing had been done about gratuities for Cholmondeley’s staff. We raked up enough between us, but there was a very frosty moment when we caught up to the advance party and he pointed out the omission.

 
Wally said, “Why should we leave them anything? They get wages from Cholmondeley.”

  Ethel said, “But it is usual. They’ve looked after us very well, and it is usual.”

  Wally said, “Not for royalties, it isn’t. Don’t you know the Prince of Wales doesn’t carry money?”

  He does sometimes, though. He bought Wally another wrist-watch today.

  Bettenbrooke says he won’t be sorry to get to Budapest. Jack Aird will be taking over once we get there.

  3rd September 1935, The Danube Palace, Budapest

  We are very comfortable. HRH has already had a very warm meeting with the Hungarian Regent—proof, if proof were needed, that his British Legion speech has caused no hard feelings at all among Mr. Mussolini’s friends.

  Gorgeous things on sale here. I’m considering a filigree pin with tiny enameled flowerheads that shake as one moves.

  Ethel and Boss have found a wonderful place for coffee and walnut cake.

  The Hungarians are a handsome people, although the standard of dentistry could be higher.

  4th September 1935

  An amusing little spat between Jack Aird and Oxer Bettenbrooke. Oxer had his valise packed ready to leave, when HRH sent down word he wanted to drive to the St. Gellert for a steam bath.