“I—I can’t,” she said.
“Then don’t,” he told her. “It’s your call, Jo.”
Clasping the zipper tab between her thumb and index finger, she eased the zipper down and laid her hand over his throbbing sex. Only his thin cotton briefs separated her hand from his naked flesh. J.T. groaned deep in his throat. Heaven help him, he was about to lose it. She had no idea what she was doing to him, what torment she was putting him through.
Cupping her hips, he pressed her downward, positioning the apex of her thighs directly on his arousal. He pushed upward gently, allowing her to become accustomed to the feel of him. Her whole body trembled, then instinctively undulated against him.
He couldn’t take much more. Her innocent explorations were driving him crazy. “I want you, Jo. I want to make love to you.” He kissed her hard, hot and hungrily.
She quivered beneath his touch, responding fervently, but when he eased his fingers inside her warm, damp body, she tensed. Bracing her hands on his shoulders, she pulled away from him.
“I can’t. Please. I can’t.” Tears filled her eyes. She knew she had disappointed him, that he was on the verge of losing control.
He shoved her up, lifting himself into a sitting position at the same time. Settling her in his lap, he put his arms around her and hugged her close to him. “It’s all right, honey.” He nuzzled her neck with his nose and kissed the side of her face. He pulled her nightshirt together, then buttoned the three middle buttons, just enough to hold the material in place.
“I’m sorry.” She choked back the tears.
“You have nothing to be sorry about,” he said, holding her with a gentle protectiveness. “What we gave each other was enough for now. We both needed some loving. When you’re ready for more, you’ll let me know.”
“Oh, J.T.” Covering her mouth with her fist, she took several deep breaths and gulped down her sobs.
He sat on the sofa and held her in his arms while she cried. He ached unbearably. He had never wanted a woman the way he wanted Joanna. But he didn’t want to hurt her, in fact, he would do anything to make sure she was never hurt again, especially not by him.
Was this the way Benjamin Greymountain had felt about Annabelle? Had he wanted her with a desperate, all-consuming passion? If so, J.T. understood why his great-grandfather had taken another man’s wife. What he didn’t understand was how Benjamin could ever have let her go.
ELENA GREGORY SQUIRMED on the stool where she sat perched, her waist-length black hair swaying softly with her movements. “I need a break, Jo. I’m sore from sitting in one position for so long.”
Sighing, Joanna laid her brush aside. Elena had a difficult time sitting still for longer than fifteen minutes at a time. Joanna was beginning to wonder if she’d be able to complete Elena’s portrait in time for Alex’s birthday.
“Okay, we’ll take a break. I could use some iced tea.” Joanna wiped her hands on her jeans and walked around the easel. Glancing down at her watch, she realized it was after one o’clock. “Hey, we might as well take a lunch break. I didn’t know it was so late.”
“There’s no need for me to go back up to the house for lunch,” Elena said. “Alex started on a new sculpture yesterday, and you know how he is when he starts a new project. I’ll be lucky if he comes out of his studio for dinner.”
“Then stay and have lunch with me. We can fix sandwiches.”
“I’ll help you.” Elena glanced down at her clothes. “Maybe you’d better get me an apron. I didn’t bring a change and I don’t want to get anything on my outfit.”
Elena had chosen an ankle-length gathered skirt and a long-sleeved blouse made of the same red cotton material—simple in design, but a striking contrast to her dark coloring. She wore an abundance of silver-and-turquoise jewelry; several rings and bracelets as well as dangling earrings. She had chosen a squash-blossom necklace with naja pendant because it had been crafted by Benjamin Greymountain and given to Elena by her mother.
Elena followed Joanna into the kitchen. She took the bread and baked chicken breasts out of the refrigerator while Joanna set the table.
“How are things going between you and J.T.?” Elena asked.
“Things are fine.” Joanna tossed Elena a large tan apron trimmed in ecru crocheted lace. “I feel much safer knowing he’s handling the security around me. I guess you saw Tim Rawlins outside when you came in, didn’t you?”
“Yes. J.T. told Alex and me last night that he planned to put a man on guard duty around the clock.” Elena sliced the cold chicken into strips and prepared their sandwiches. “J.T. took over guard duty bright and early this morning, didn’t he?”
Joanna dropped the bag of potato chips on the table. “Yes. Fairly early.” She cast her gaze downward, not wanting to face Elena, who was sure to suspect something if she could see Joanna’s eyes.
“He was in an odd mood when he came back up to the house for breakfast.” Elena returned to the refrigerator for ice, then filled their glasses. “He was just about as talkative as you are now when I asked him about it.”
“About what?” Joanna asked.
Elena poured the tea into their glasses and brought them to the table. “Something must have happened between you and J.T. to make you both so secretive.”
Joanna forced a quick laugh. “Just because you’ve had this plan to get your brother and me together for several years, doesn’t mean J.T. and I have any intention of going along with your plans.”
“Something did happen! I knew it. Confess. Did he kiss you?”
Someone knocked on the front door. Joanna jumped and Elena gasped. Both women turned around and faced the living room.
“Boy, we’re as nervous as a couple of cats in a room full of rocking chairs,” Elena said. “I’ll go see who it is.”
“No, you finish getting lunch ready and I’ll go to the door.”
Joanna crossed the room, opened the front door and sighed with relief when she saw Cliff Lansdell standing on her front porch.
“Afternoon.” Cliff removed his hat. “I just wanted to stop by and see how you’re doing. I hope I’m not intruding.”
“Not at all, Cliff.” Joanna stepped back to allow him entrance. “Come on in. Elena and I were just about to have lunch. Would you care to join us?”
“Done had mine, but thanks.”
Joanna had liked Cliff since they’d first met, but despite his rugged good looks and gentlemanly manners, she had called a halt to their budding relationship after half-a-dozen dates. Cliff’s feelings for her had been much deeper and far more sexual than hers had been for him.
“How about a glass of tea?” Elena called out from the kitchen.
“Don’t go to any trouble, Elena. I can’t stay long. I just dropped by to say…well, to let you know, Joanna, that I—” he transferred his hat from one hand to the other and then back again “—I’ll do anything I can to help J.T. keep you safe and not let that Plott fellow get anywhere near you.”
Joanna reached out, laid her hand over Cliff’s and gave it an affectionate squeeze. “Thank you. I appreciate your concern and—”
The telephone rang. Joanna tensed. Dammit, she had to stop this! Every time someone knocked at the door or the telephone rang or she heard an unusual sound, she overreacted.
“Want me to get it?” Elena asked.
Joanna nodded. Cliff placed his hand on her shoulder. She glanced at him and felt somewhat comforted by his friendly, caring smile.
“Hello,” Elena answered the telephone. “Oh, hi there, Mrs. Beaumont. Yes, Joanna’s right here.” Elena held out the phone.
Hesitantly, Joanna walked over and took the phone out of Elena’s hand. “Hello, Mother. How are you?”
“How am I?” Helene asked. “I’m worried sick about you, that’s how I am.”
“I’m perfectly all right,” Joanna said. “There’s no need for you to worry.”
“My dearest girl, how can you say that? I know Lenny Plott has already discover
ed where Claire Andrews lives and has called and threatened her. It’s only a matter of time until he finds out where Libby Felton is and where you are.”
“I realize that’s a possibility, Mother, but we can’t be certain.”
“Of course, we can be certain.” Helene sighed. “Lenny didn’t become a pauper when he went to jail. His family has millions, and that idiot mother of his will make sure he can put his hands on however much money he needs. Money can always buy information, Joanna. You know that as well as I do.”
“I’m well guarded here at the ranch. J.T. has posted ranch hands outside my house day and night.”
“A wise decision on Mr. Blackwood’s part, I’m sure, but I’d feel much better if you came home to Virginia. Mr. Blackwood could escort you home, if you’d like, or I could send a bodyguard to get you. We’ll hire around-the-clock guards here. Please, Joanna, come home.”
“Mother, I am home.” Joanna bit her bottom lip, then rolled her eyes heavenward. “I plan to spend the rest of my life here in New Mexico. I’m not ever going to move back to Virginia.”
“But surely, someday—”
“Not now. Not ever.”
“You’ll change your mind,” Helene said. “When you decide to marry and have children, you’ll come back to Virginia to find a suitable husband.”
“What makes you think I couldn’t find a suitable husband out here in New Mexico?”
“Joanna, there isn’t anything going on between you and this Blackwood man, is there?”
Joanna gripped the telephone with white-knuckled strength. “Why would you ask such a question?”
Joanna noticed Elena staring at her, questioning her silently with her eyes. She glanced over at Cliff, who seemed equally puzzled.
“I know how totally enamored you were with that diary of your great-grandmother’s. I told myself when you decided to move all the way to New Mexico that it was a temporary move. You needed to get away from…after the…after what happened to you. I understood. And I even went along with your romantic notions about Annabelle Beaumont and that illicit love affair she had with some Indian. But I never thought you’d stay out there or that you’d actually become involved with…well, with one of those people.”
“One of those people? Native Americans? Is that what you mean, Mother?”
“I’ve had that Blackwood fellow thoroughly checked out,” Helene said.
“You did what? How dare you!”
“When it comes to your safety, I’d dare almost anything. Besides, the man seems to be the very best at what he does and the firm in which he’s a partner is considered one of the top private security firms in the nation.”
“Then you have no reason to worry about me or want me to come back to Virginia, do you?”
“You didn’t answer my question about you and Mr. Blackwood. Have you become personally involved with him? I know that he is Benjamin Greymountain’s great-grandson.”
“My God, Mother, when you said you had J.T. thoroughly checked out, you weren’t kidding. You must have spent quite a bundle on private investigators.” Joanna glanced back and forth between Elena and Cliff, and wished she wasn’t having this conversation in front of an audience. Especially not Elena.
“If you won’t come home to Virginia, I’m coming out there,” Helene said.
“No, Mother, don’t do that!”
“I’ll fly out tomorrow and see if I can’t talk sense to you, face-to-face. At a time like this, you should be at home.”
“What are you so worried about, Mother?” Turning her back toward Elena and Cliff, Joanna lowered her voice. “What has you the most upset, the fact that Lenny Plott might find me and try to kill me, or that I might fall in love with J. T. Blackwood and ask him to marry me?”
“You’re being irrational. There’s no point in our discussing this anymore. You can expect me tomorrow.”
“No, Mother, don’t come out—” The dial tone hummed in Joanna’s ear.
Cliff Lansdell walked across the room and placed his hand on Joanna’s back. When she turned toward him, he slipped his arm around her shoulders. She rested against him, glad to have someone to lean on.
“I take it that we can expect a visit from Senator Helene Beaumont,” Elena said.
Joanna nodded her head. “She’ll be here sometime tomorrow.”
“Are you all right, Joanna?” Cliff asked.
Slipping her arm around his waist, she hugged him. “I’ll be fine as soon as I cool off and calm down. I love my mother dearly, but she has always tried to run my life.”
Elena untied the apron she wore, folded it and laid it on the back of the sofa. “You never told me your mother was a bigot.”
Joanna laughed. “She certainly doesn’t consider herself one, but she is. She’s horrified at the idea I might—”
“Who’s horrified at what?” J. T. Blackwood stood in the arched opening leading into the kitchen.
They hadn’t heard him enter the house. All three of them turned and stared at the intruder.
“You left your back door unlocked,” J.T. said. “From now on, make sure it’s locked.” He walked into the living room. His eyes focused on Cliff Lansdell’s arm draped across Joanna’s shoulder. “What’s going on here? Who were you talking about being horrified at something you might do?”
“My mother just called,” Joanna told him.
“Mrs. Beaumont is worried about Joanna’s safety,” Cliff said.
“She’s horrified at the thought Joanna might be hurt.” Elena didn’t look at her brother when she spoke.
“Are you worried about your safety?” J.T. walked up behind Joanna and glared at Cliff.
Cliff removed his arm from Joanna’s shoulder and took a step away from her. Joanna watched the silent exchange between J.T. and Cliff, and couldn’t help feeling a bit sorry for Cliff. At that moment, she realized few men would have the courage to stand up to J.T. and confront him. There was something powerfully intimidating about J. T. Blackwood; something other men obviously sensed instinctively. Cliff was a big guy, rugged and strong. She had seen him riding and roping and issuing orders in his duties as ranch foreman, but he hadn’t dared make a stand against J.T.
“Guess I’d better be going,” Cliff said. “If you need me for anything—”
“She won’t need you,” J.T. interrupted.
Cliff nodded, then made a hasty retreat out the front door.
“That show of machismo wasn’t necessary.” Joanna whirled around to face J.T. She placed her hands on her hips and glared at him.
“She’s got you there, big brother,” Elena said. “All Cliff was doing was giving her a little comfort.”
“If you two will excuse me, I’m going into the bedroom for some privacy.” Joanna patted Elena on the arm when she walked past her. “I’ll call Mother back and see if I can persuade her not to fly out here tomorrow.”
The moment they were alone, Elena turned to J.T. “You didn’t hide your feelings very well.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about your proprietary attitude toward Joanna. If you could have seen the look on your face. I thought for a few minutes you were going to rip Cliff’s arm off.”
“You’re talking nonsense.”
“Am I?” Elena smiled. “I don’t think so. Cliff got the message. Everyone in this room got the message, including Joanna.”
“What message?” J.T. asked.
“You’ve staked a claim on Jo and were sending out No Trespassing signals, loud and clear.”
“You’re reading too much into what happened.”
“Look, Joanna doesn’t need you acting like some macho jerk right now. She just had a rather unpleasant conversation with her mother. Senator Beaumont wants Jo to come home to Virginia, and she wants to hire another bodyguard. She’s afraid her daughter might be getting a little too personally involved with the wrong sort of man.”
“The wrong sort…you mean me?”
E
lena shook her head. “Joanna really let her mother have it. She disagrees with the way her mother thinks. Joanna isn’t like that.”
“Senator Beaumont doesn’t want her daughter to become seriously involved with a half-breed. That’s it, isn’t it? Well, the woman has nothing to worry about. Whatever happens between Joanna and me won’t be serious. Her mother doesn’t have to worry about her marrying—”
“I couldn’t get through to Mother.” Joanna stood across the living room, staring at J.T., her face pale, her eyes glazed with a fine mist of tears.
Damn, he hadn’t meant for her to overhear his conversation with Elena. Joanna looked as if he’d slapped her. He had hurt her with his careless words. Why hadn’t he been more cautious? The last thing in the world he wanted to do was cause Joanna any more pain.
“Jo, we need to talk,” J.T. said.
“No, we don’t need to talk.” Joanna glanced at Elena. “I’d like to be alone for a while. Please.”
“I’m not going to leave like this, not until we’ve talked.” J.T. took a tentative step toward Joanna.
Elena grabbed him by the arm. “Call me later, okay?” she asked Joanna, then tugged on her brother’s arm. “We’re leaving now,” she told him.
J.T. hesitated, but when he saw the anger and pain etched on Joanna’s face, he turned around and walked out of the house with Elena.
Joanna went back into her bedroom, sat down on the edge of the bed and covered her face with her hands. The tears were trapped inside her, choking her, restricting her breathing.
Whatever happens between Joanna and me won’t be serious. Won’t be serious. Won’t be serious.
She’d been a fool to think that just because J.T. wanted to make love to her, he might actually care about her. Maybe her mother had been right all along. Hoping to find the kind of love Annabelle Beaumont had found with Benjamin Greymountain was a fool’s fantasy.
Joanna twisted her great-grandmother’s ring around and around on her finger. Sometimes she wished she’d never found the old diary and the leather pouch containing the ring. Maybe it would have been better if she’d never come to New Mexico, searching for a new life and dreaming of finding true love.
Til Death Do Us Part Page 10