“Well, I might go over and key his car then,” said Ashley. “God, do I ever hate him now! What’s her name?” she asked me.
I pressed my lips together, trying to keep it all in. It couldn’t be real, could it? Just this morning, I’d been happily married and organizing my daughter’s birthday party. Now I was crying into my glass of wine and listening to my friends plot out various revenge strategies. Sex with random men? Trips to Miami to drink my face off? Keying his car? I just wanted to wake up from this nightmare. If I said her name out loud, it would be real.
They were all looking at me, though. “Is it someone you know?” asked Megan gently. “Did he bring her around you?”
I shook my head slightly. “I might have met her at the office Christmas party. I don’t really remember. He says it didn’t start until later- January, February- when they worked on a project together.”
“What’s her name?” Ashley repeated. She pulled out her phone. “Tell me her name.”
“Nikki,” I whispered, so quietly that she asked me to repeat myself. “Nicole Wilson.” There. It was out there.
“Is she from here?” asked Megan. “Did we go to high school with her? I don’t remember her.”
Ashley was furiously scrolling on her phone. “Um...give me a minute. Nikki Wilson. I think this is her. Oh, fuck him. He’s Facebook friends with her. She liked a picture of your kids! I can’t. Who does that? Oh, excellent, she’s an idiot too. Her page is completely open.” She started typing.
“What are you doing?” I asked her, alarmed. Ashley was on her third glass of wine at this point, and when she drank, she could go a little crazy. As if she couldn’t go crazy enough on her own without alcohol helping her along.
“Just commenting on some of her pictures,” said Ashley. “Calling her a slut. Homewrecker.”
“Ashley!” I protested. “Don’t. This girl is going to be- be my kids’ stepmother or something.” At that thought, I burst into tears again.
“You have to do something,” said Ashley. “You cannot just sit back and let everything happen to you.”
“But I want to take the high road,” I sniffled.
“The high road?” Ashley rolled her eyes. “The high road is another word for being a doormat. You can’t let him just go do whatever he wants while you sit there and wait for his lawyers to tell you how much you’re going to get in child support. You need to do something. Okay, maybe you don’t need to go out and have revenge sex with the first bathed man you see. But you need to do something. Megan is right. We need to take a vacation and get away from all this and just get your mind off things. Look, I can take time off anytime. I’m a self-employed real estate agent. As long as I don’t have any showing booked, I can take off whenever. As long as it’s a couple weeks out I’m clear. Becca, you finish school in a week or two too, don’t you?”
“Next week is our last week,” confirmed Becca, who taught third grade. “We have a couple days of meetings after that, but then I’m free too.”
We all turned to look at Megan, who worked in accounting. “I’ll have to request the time off,” she said. “I’ll have to see Monday at work what dates I’m free.”
I almost told them not to bother. I almost told them it was okay, I’d just stay home and cry under the covers all day while Henry and Olivia were at my parents’. But just as I was opening my mouth to tell them no, don’t bother, a very small “okay” popped out instead.
Chapter Five
The first step was for Megan to book the days off. We picked a week at the end of June, a month away. Once she’d confirmed that she could get the time off, I called my parents and asked if they could watch Henry and Olivia while I went on a trip with the girls.
“Of course, honey,” said my mom sympathetically. “You need some time to get away and have fun. We’ll do our best to keep the kids busy. Where are you going?”
“Thanks,” I said. “I think we’re planning to go to Vegas. But also maybe a beach in Florida somewhere. Just somewhere we can go and not have to think about everything that’s happening.” I sighed. “I just- I never saw it coming, Mom, you know? I mean- things weren’t perfect, nothing ever is. But I was happy, overall. I thought he was happy. We had our ups and downs and little fights, but no marriage is perfect, and I thought he was just preoccupied with being busy at work and adjusting to his new position. I figured things would calm down eventually- buying a house and moving is stressful, and once we got through that I figured that he’d get used to the new workload and the position, the kids would adjust, we could spend some time over the summer reconnecting...I just didn’t see it coming at all.”
“I’m so sorry, Julia,” my mom sympathized. “I can’t imagine what that’s like. I don’t know- from an outsider point of view, I’ve known Bradley a long time, and seen the two of you together for a long time. And I did think something changed. I don’t know if you changed on your own, or if he changed and that made you change, or what, but when I looked back at who you are today, thirty years old, and when I look at who you were in high school...well, it’s two different people.”
“Of course it is, Mom,” I said. “I was a teenager with no responsibilities back then. Now I’m a mom, I have a mortgage and a car payment and life insurance and a home to manage and kids to raise and a home business to try and run- of course I’ve changed.”
“You didn’t change together, though,” said Mom. “That’s what I meant. Of course who you are as a person evolves as you get older, but if you’re lucky, you both change into people who still love each other and get along. You turned into someone, he turned into someone else. And those people might not get along as well as Julia and Bradley of eight years ago did.”
I couldn’t quite hear the ‘I told you not to get married so young’ in there, but I thought it was in the background. My parents had warned me, after all, not to marry so young- live on your own for a year, get the feeling of independence, my mother had urged me. Don’t go straight from your parents’ home to a man’s. I hadn’t listened because I was young and in love.
“Well,” I said, “thanks. I think.”
“I don’t mean ‘I told you so’,” said Mom hurriedly. “Just- I’ve watched you lose your sparkle over the past while. I know it sounds cheesy but it’s true. Just seemed like life- love- was getting you down. You weren’t the same girl I remembered. So if you need to take a break from all this mess and go out there and find that sparkle, or get in touch with yourself and remember who you are- not as a mother, not as a wife, but who Julia is- you go out there and do it.”
My mother’s words echoed in my head for the next few days. She was right, of course- our mothers always are, aren’t they? I could only vaguely remember what life was like before babies and husbands. There was joy in being a mother, but there was so much drudgery too. I needed this break. I needed to remember who I was.
Bradley hadn’t moved out, but he was sleeping on the couch for the time being. I was trying my hardest to put on a good face for the kids and be as friendly and normal around him as I could, but when it was just the two of us I could hardly bear to even look at him. Ironically, now that he’d told me he wanted a divorce so he could be with this Nikki girl, he was coming home early more often and spending more time at home. The day after I’d called my mom, though, I waited until Henry and Olivia were in bed. Then I spoke in the most flat, unemotional voice I could manage.
“By the way, since we won’t be going away on vacation together while the kids are at my parents’ house, I’m going on a trip with the girls at the end of the month. Just so you know.”
He looked up from the TV, startled. “Huh? What? No, you can’t do that- who’s going to care for the kids?”
I turned away so I wasn’t facing him when I spoke. I concentrated on using the most even tone I could. “Like I said, they’ll be with my parents. You won’t have to lift a finger. In fact, it will make things even easier for you.”
“Why, though? Why do you need
a vacation?”
“Maybe,” I said, “because my husband of eight years and partner of fourteen years just told me he is in love with someone else and no longer wishes to be part of my family.”
“Knock off the melodramatics, Julia,” he said, turning back to the TV. “You wouldn’t just up and leave on vacation.”
“Oh no? What makes you say that?”
“Because, that’s not who you are. You won’t just book a trip at random and go. You’ll spend two months looking at all of the online reviews and comparing prices and features of the different hotels and call me over every twenty minutes until I want to scream and just not go after all. You’ll print out a packing list for everybody and hover around and make sure that we pack exactly how you want us to. When you finally get to wherever you’re going, you’ll have a schedule to stick to. Relaxing by the pool will take place from ten to twelve on Tuesday morning,” he mimicked my voice. “After that there’s lunch, yoga class, and then scuba diving, followed by showering for dinner, dinner, and then drinks at the beach bar. You don’t know how to take a vacation and it is NOT RELAXING going away with you.” He exhaled. “There’s something I’ve wanted to say for, oh, ten years now?”
I wasn’t sure what kind of reaction I was expecting from him, but he was pissing me off. He was probably expecting me to cry. Instead, I glared at him. “You don’t think I’m going to be able to go away to relax?”
“I don’t think, I know,” he said.
“And I’m sure Nikki’s idea of a perfect vacation involves closing her eyes and throwing darts at a map,” I said sarcastically. “Followed by landing at the airport with no clear idea of where she’s going to stay or what she’s going to do.”
“You know what?” said Bradley. “It is. And we’ve talked about time after time, the trips we want to take together. Close our eyes and spin the globe and go wherever our feet take us. Hop on a plane with nothing but one suitcase and show up in a new city, pick out a hotel on the fly, just wander the city for hours and get lost together.”
I closed my eyes and counted to ten, picturing my husband with this Nikki slut wandering hand-in-hand through some strange Middle Eastern bazaar, or Amazonian rainforest, or old European city. I shuddered. “Well,” I said, as calmly as I could, “it sounds like you two will be very happy together.”
Bradley rolled his eyes. “Cut the martyr crap out, Julia. You think it makes you look classy, like you’re taking the high road? It makes you look pathetic.” He shook his head in disgust.
Without another word, I stomped out of the room like a petulant teenager. I almost slammed the bedroom door, before I remembered my two kids were sleeping down the hall and I didn’t want to wake them up. Instead, I had an idea. In the top drawer of the bureau was where Bradley kept his backup credit card. I pulled it out and stared at it for a good long while, turning it around and around in my hands. I memorized the number on the front and the three digit security code on the back. I looked at the expiration date and the name embossed on the front. Bradley M Sutton. My throat tightened. He was down there, living a weird parallel existence with me until we sorted out our separation, and he didn’t care about me anymore.
I took a picture of the front and back of the card with my phone, just in case I had trouble remembering the number.
Then I sat down and started searching for flights on my phone. I’d book them right now, before I changed my mind. He was going to regret this. I was the best thing that had ever happened to him, and he’d be paying for this for years. I bought four return plane tickets, one for me and one for each of the girls. Then I called Megan.
“Screw Vegas,” I said. “And Miami. I just bought us all tickets to Paris.”
Megan screamed so loudly when I told her that I had to hold the phone away from my ear. “Are you FREAKING kidding me? PARIS? And you bought us all tickets?”
“Bradley is going to be footing the bill for us,” I said, glancing down at the credit card.
“Are you serious? Whoa. Why? Does he feel bad or something?”
“Something like that,” I said. “Um- don’t tell Ashley, she’ll go nuts, but I took his credit card. Well, I didn’t take the actual card, but I took a picture of it...” I trailed off.
“You know what? Asshole deserves whatever he gets,” Megan declared. “Well, damn. Now we’re going to have to go shopping.”
“Save the shopping for Paris,” I told her. “Bring along an empty suitcase.”
Chapter Six
The time sped by and before I knew it, our departure date had arrived. I kissed Henry and Olivia goodbye and dropped them off at my parents’ house. Bradley swore he would not have Nikki over at our house while I was gone, but he also had not yet discovered the credit card charges, so I figured I should take precautions. First I hid all the extra toilet paper in Olivia’s closet and piled stuffed animals on top so when the current roll ran out, he’d go crazy looking for the stockpile. I stripped the sheets off my former marital bed too. Bradley was still on the couch, and he was too lazy to find clean sheets and make up the bed. I’d been doing it for the past eight years of our marriage anyway. I wasn’t even sure if he knew where the linen closet was in the new house. Then, while I was waiting for the taxi to come pick me up and take me to the airport, I changed the wifi password. I hesitated on that last one- was it too harsh? Bradley would die without wifi. And it might possibly drive him straight out of my house and in to Nikki’s.
I decided I didn’t care. He hadn’t shown any signs of second thoughts. I’d made it clear to him that if he wanted to try and save our marriage I would call a marriage counselor right away, but he wasn’t interested and I couldn’t make him. It would take two people to make this marriage salvageable, and in the meantime I sure as hell was not going to have another woman in my home. When my taxi arrived, I got in without any second thoughts.
The flights that I’d booked were first to New York, and then straight to Paris. I stood in line waiting to check in, looking around to see if I could spot any of the girls. I was there early, but wanted to get checked in right away. I had my purse and a small carry-on bag, and then my big suitcase that was half empty for all of the clothes I’d be buying on Bradley’s dime. Served him right.
Becca arrived a few minutes after me, followed by Megan, and they both joined me in line. We chattered excitedly while we waited for our turn.
“We should have done something like this ages ago,” said Megan. “I can’t believe it took a crisis like this to for us to decide to just go.”
“I changed the wifi password before I left,” I confessed. “And stripped the sheets off the bed and hid all the extra toilet paper. I think Bradley thinks that stuff just appears out of nowhere when we get low. I’m not even sure he knows where the linen closet is.”
Becca gasped, then giggled. “Oh my gosh,” she said. “That’s awful yet hilarious at the same time.”
“I know,” I said. “I thought it might be too mean, especially the wifi password. I mean...I’d die without it, and he’s worse than me. But then I thought about it, and...”
“...Telling your wife you’re not in love with her anymore is way worse,” Megan finished. “Dude can live without wifi for a couple weeks. It won’t kill him. Maybe he’ll spend his spare time doing a lot of meaningful self-reflection on what drove him to seek an emotional connection with someone other than his wife.”
“He’ll probably just go to Nikki’s house,” I sighed. “Whatever.”
Ashley showed up minutes before we were called up to the counter to check in, and we handed over our suitcases to be weighed, tagged, and sent off to the baggage handlers. We were given our boarding passes and sent on our way to security where once again we waited in line to take off our shoes and belts and produce our Ziploc baggies of tiny hand cream for inspection. Once we’d made it through security, we walked through a maze of hallways, escalators, and moving sidewalks to find the right gate and waiting area. I started to head towards the hard
plastic seats, but Ashley grabbed my arm.
“Are you crazy? There’s a bar right over there! Let’s go grab a drink!”
“It’s not even nine in the morning,” Becca protested.
“So I’ll have a mimosa then. Come on! We’re going on a girls’ holiday! We should start it off with a drink. Oh come on, for me?”
So we all went over to the bar and let Ashley order for us while we plopped down in the bar stools. I checked my phone to see if there were any emergencies from my parents or if Bradley had discovered the wifi password changed, but I had no new messages.
Megan noticed my phone out. “Put that thing away, Jules,” she advised. “You’ll go crazy if you spend the whole time staring at it. Your mom and dad are great with Henry and Olivia. Your husband’s an asshole and deserves a couple weeks without toilet paper or wifi. If they need to get in touch, they will! Just relax. You don’t want to miss Paris because you’re busy staring at your phone, do you?”
“You’re right,” I admitted. I slid the phone back in my handbag. “I’ll do my best to stop checking.”
Ashley came back with four mimosas for us all and passed them around. “Cheers!” she cried. “Here’s to an amazing two weeks.” We all clinked glasses and drank.
“I can’t wait to go shopping,” said Megan.
“I can’t wait to check out the nightclubs and restaurants,” said Ashley.
“I want to visit some museums,” said Becca.
“Boooo-ring,” teased Ashley. “You’re such a teacher, Bec!”
“Well, you can’t visit Paris and skip the Louvre!” Becca protested. “What are you looking forward to, Jules?”
I thought for a minute. I wanted to do all the things my friends had mentioned- some shopping, checking out some of the restaurants and maybe going to a club or two if I could find something to wear while we were out shopping, and doing a bit of sightseeing during the day as well.
Love Far Away (A Spicy Contemporary Romance) Page 4