Anna took a deep breath as she nodded. ‘For slaughter.’
Bruce laughed and drew his hand across his throat, making a gurgling sound. Anna smiled thinly, but deep down she didn’t think it was funny at all.
As they walked through the pasture, she saw Bruce eyeing the lambs. ‘You’ve got a lot. How much do you get for each one then?’
Anna stared at him. ‘I don’t know. They’re Grandpa’s.’
‘Yeah, but you live here, don’t you? It’ll all be yours one day, won’t it, when the old man snuffs it?’ He glanced at her. ‘Or has he got other grandchildren?’
Anna shook her head. ‘No – no. There’s only me. They only had one daughter, me mam.’
‘So the farm’ll go to your mam and then to you, won’t it?’
‘I – suppose so.’ Anna was hesitant. She didn’t even like to think about Grandpa dying. She’d lost her father and then her grandmother so recently that the thought of another death terrified her.
Bruce interrupted her thoughts. ‘You ought to be taking an interest in the place.’
‘I do. I help out a lot when I’m not at school. You can watch us do the milking later, if you like.’
‘Yeah, that’d be fun,’ he said, but his tone sounded insincere. Almost sarcastic. Then he brightened. ‘Come on, you can show me all the fields your grandpa owns.’
‘There’s a lot,’ Anna said. ‘I don’t think we’ve time to see them all.’
There was a glint in the boy’s eye as he glanced about, surveying all the land around him. ‘He owns all this?’ He waved his hand.
‘Yes. Right down to the river.’
‘The river? Great! Can we go fishing?’ Now he was really interested. ‘I like fishing.’
‘I – I don’t know. I’d have to ask Grandpa.’
‘I like seeing fish wriggle on the end of me line and then—’ He brought his hand down in a chopping movement, demonstrating how he killed his catch.
As they walked on, he pushed his hands into his pockets and walked with a swagger. ‘I’m going in the army as soon as I’m eighteen.’
‘How old are you now?’
‘I was seventeen last month. Roll on next year. I can’t wait to get at ’em.’
Anna glanced at him. ‘Who?’
‘Jerry, of course.’
‘Oh.’
They walked in silence until they came to the river bank and stood looking down at the flowing water.
‘I bet there’s plenty of fish in there,’ he said.
Anna bit her lip. ‘We’ll have to be getting back. It’ll be teatime soon and then there’s the milking.’
Bruce turned towards her and put his hands on her shoulders. He looked down into her upturned face. Then without warning, he bent and pressed his mouth hard on hers. Shocked, Anna tried to pull away, but found that he was gripping her shoulders so firmly she could not move.
‘There,’ he said as he drew away. ‘Bet that’s the first time you’ve been kissed properly, ain’t it?’
Her mind reeling, Anna could find no words. Bruce laughed softly and, still with his arm about her shoulders, began to lead her back towards the farm.
And that was how Luke saw them as they came into the yard.
Thirty-Seven
When Douglas and Bruce had departed in a cloud of fumes, the sound of the noisy sports car echoing long after they had roared up the lane, Luke said, ‘She’s too young to be having the likes of him putting his arm around her. Put a stop to it, May, or I will.’
‘Oh, Dad, it’s only a bit of harmless fun. He’s the first boyfriend she’s had.’
‘Boyfriend?’ Luke almost shouted. ‘At thirteen? Have you taken leave of your senses, May?’
‘She’s just flattered by the attentions of a good-looking lad, that’s all.’
Luke’s shaggy eyebrows almost covered his eyes as he frowned. He bit down hard on his pipe. ‘Not the only one, is she?’ he muttered. Then he jabbed the end of his pipe towards his daughter. ‘I mean it, May. I don’t want her getting romantic notions at her age.’
May flushed and bit her thumbnail, but she argued with her father no further. Luke turned away, satisfied that he had made his point and that it would be obeyed. But if he could have read May’s rebellious thoughts at that moment, he would not have been so content. As he walked away, May glared after him. If you think I’m going to risk wrecking my chances of going back to live in the city by upsetting Douglas and his son, then you’ve got another think coming. I’m a grown woman and I’ll bring my daughter up how I like, not how you say.
Later, when Betty and Rita had returned and they were all seated round the supper table, Luke was still unable to get the two visitors out of his mind. ‘I’d like to know where he gets his petrol from.’
Betty laughed. ‘Oho, don’t ask, Pops. Don’t ask.’ Then she winked. ‘But if there’s anything you want, you can be sure Douglas Whittaker will know where to get it. Only no questions asked, if you know what I mean.’
‘Yes,’ Luke said grimly, ‘I think I do.’ He glanced at May, who had lowered her head when the conversation had turned to Douglas. ‘You’re very quiet, lass.’
Her head shot up. ‘Oh. I – er – no. I mean, I didn’t mean to be.’ She was flustered and red in the face.
‘Know what I think,’ Betty said, cradling her cup in her palms. ‘I reckon Douglas is sweet on our May here.’
‘Oh no,’ May said quickly, but her blush deepened. ‘He’s your young man, Betty. I wouldn’t want you to think . . .’
Betty flapped her hand. ‘Don’t worry about that, May. There’s plenty more fish in the sea. And Douglas Whittaker’s no great catch.’ Then, realizing how that might sound, she added hastily, ‘Not as far as I’m concerned anyway. I promise you, he’s just a laugh. Besides, he’s a bit old for me. No offence, love.’
‘None taken,’ May murmured. She was older than Betty by about ten years. She was much nearer Douglas’s age than the young Land Army girl. Betty’s eyes clouded as she added, ‘I’m not getting serious about anyone. Not while this war’s on.’
‘Love ’em and leave ’em, that’s Betty’s motto,’ Rita laughed.
Betty crashed her cup into its saucer and stood up suddenly. ‘It’s – it’s them that leave us, isn’t it?’
She turned and rushed from the room. They heard the back door bang. Rita looked after her thoughtfully. ‘I think,’ she said slowly, ‘that despite what she says she was getting rather fond of Charlie.’
May gasped. ‘The – the one who got shot down?’
Rita nodded.
‘Oh,’ May breathed. ‘Poor Betty.’
‘Aye,’ Luke growled at his daughter. ‘And it’ll be poor you, if you take up with that – that spiv!’
May hung her head.
Despite Luke’s warning, May couldn’t help liking Douglas. She looked forward to his visits to the farm and she felt more comfortable now that she knew Betty did not regard him as her boyfriend. May liked the two girls who had come to live with them and help on the farm. She didn’t want to offend either of them, especially the forthright Betty, whose tongue, Luke said, could mow a ten-acre field without a scythe.
Douglas began to take May out – just the two of them – roaring off up the lane in his car. He even took her away for a weekend, staying away Friday and Saturday nights, during which time Luke glowered morosely and then refused to speak to May for three days afterwards. Douglas tried his best to win the old man over, bringing him tobacco and even a can or two of precious petrol.
‘No thanks,’ Luke said tersely. ‘I don’t hold with black market stuff.’
Douglas laughed, but shrugged. ‘Don’t tell me you don’t get a bit of extra meat from under the counter now and again.’
‘We have all we need. We live on a farm,’ Luke reminded him.
‘That’s exactly it,’ Douglas said and jabbed his finger towards Luke. For a brief moment, Douglas’s grey eyes were as hard as flint. ‘You’re lucky, but
some of us are really suffering because of the shortages. Can you blame us for wanting to make life a bit easier?’
Luke’s glance travelled slowly up and down the smartly dressed man before him. He said nothing, just sniffed as if to say: You look as if you’re really suffering! Then he shrugged. ‘That’s your business and no concern of mine. Just don’t ask me to get involved, that’s all. And don’t’ – now it was Luke who wagged his finger at Douglas – ‘involve my daughter either.’
Douglas threw back his head and laughed loudly. ‘She doesn’t refuse the nylons and the chocolates I bring.’
Luke turned away frowning. He was pretty sure Douglas was into the black market. Oh, maybe not in a big way. But Luke felt sure that he was on the fringes of petty villainy. He didn’t like May’s involvement with him or the way her eyes sparkled when she heard that noisy contraption swing into the yard.
But there was not a lot Luke could do about it.
When Douglas visited the farm at the weekends, he usually brought Bruce with him.
‘I’ve brought you some chocolates,’ Bruce said.
‘Oh, how lovely.’ Anna smiled. ‘How kind of you. It – it must have used up all your coupons.’
Bruce shrugged and grinned. ‘You’re worth it.’
Across the yard, Anna was aware of Jed glowering at them. Hastily she said, ‘I’ll just take these indoors and then we’ll go for a walk.’
As they strolled together by the river, Bruce took hold of Anna’s hand, whilst Buster ran ahead, exploring for rabbits. She felt her face glowing pink, but did not pull away. It was nice to have an older boyfriend; nice to be able to boast about him to her best friend, Jean. And walking hand in hand with him made her feel really grown up.
‘Has he kissed you yet?’ Jean asked eagerly every Monday morning when she knew Bruce had been to the farm.
‘Oh yes,’ Anna said airily, giving the impression that it happened all the time. ‘And when we go for walks, we hold hands.’
Jean nudged her. ‘Has he tried – well – you know?’
Anna put her nose in the air. ‘Course not. He’s not like that. He’s nice.’
‘Does he know you’re only thirteen? ’Cos you look older. Mebbe he thinks you’re as old as him.’
Anna shrugged. ‘Dunno. But I’m not going to tell him.’ They giggled together.
And now, here she was once more walking with him. Maybe there’d be even more to tell Jean on Monday morning . . .
‘What have you been doing with yourself this week?’ Bruce broke into her dreams.
‘Oh, the usual. You know, school and helping Grandpa.’
‘When are the lambs going then?’ Bruce asked her as they walked through the meadow, watching the lambs playing.
‘Next week,’ Anna said dolefully. ‘They’re coming for them next Monday.’
‘A week tomorrow, you mean?’
Anna nodded as she pulled her hand from his and crept towards one of the lambs suckling its mother. Neither the sheep nor the lamb moved, not even when Anna stroked the lamb. Buster trotted up and stood close by, watching. ‘Come and feel their lovely coats,’ Anna said to Bruce. ‘Isn’t it a shame they have to be – to be—?’
He moved carefully across the grass towards her, but when he was about three feet from her and the sheep, Anna heard Buster growl softly. She turned to look down at him. He was crouching, his eyes on Bruce, as if ready to spring.
‘Don’t be silly, Buster. It’s only Bruce.’
Bruce gave a nervous laugh. ‘I don’t reckon that dog likes me.’ He grinned. ‘Reckon he’s jealous.’
Anna’s eyes widened as she looked at him, ‘Jealous?’ she began and then realized what he meant. She blushed. ‘Don’t be silly. You ought to make friends with him. You never pet him.’
Bruce laughed. ‘I don’t want me hand bitten off.’
‘Take no notice of Buster. He won’t hurt you. Not while I’m here anyway. But he’s only doing his job.’
Bruce glanced at her. ‘What do you mean?’
‘It’s his job to protect the sheep.’
Bruce eyed the dog thoughtfully.
‘Come on,’ Anna encouraged. ‘Feel how soft their wool is.’
Bruce, keeping a wary eye on the dog, moved forward and bent to stroke the lamb. The lamb stopped suckling and allowed Bruce to pick it up. ‘Cute little fellers, aren’t they?’
Anna giggled. ‘Yeah. Except that one’s a girl.’
Suddenly, Buster growled again and began to bark. Frightened, the lamb bleated and struggled in Bruce’s grasp. ‘It’s all right, boy,’ he said to the dog. ‘I’m not going to run off with it.’ He laughed as he set the young animal down on its spindly legs. ‘They’re heavier than I thought they’d be,’ he murmured as the lamb trotted away to join in a game with the others.
‘They’re like children, aren’t they?’ Anna smiled. ‘Look at them, playing just like little children in a playground.’
‘Yeah,’ Bruce murmured, draping his arm across her shoulders. ‘But they’re worth a bit more than a load of screaming kids.’
Anna said nothing. She felt uncomfortable that Bruce kept referring to how much things were worth. The sheep, the crops they were growing – even the fish in the river. Everything seemed to have a price tag as far as Bruce was concerned.
‘We ought to come fishing one day,’ he’d remarked. ‘Me dad could get a good price for fresh fish in the markets.’
Maybe it was because his father was a businessman, Anna told herself, finding excuses for him. It was just his way, that was all.
As they began to walk back towards the farmhouse, Bruce glanced back over his shoulder. ‘Yeah, your old man’s got a bob or two coming his way next week when he sends this little lot to market.’
Thirty-Eight
The following Sunday Bruce came again with his father.
‘Come on,’ he said, catching hold of Anna’s hand. ‘Me dad says I can take you for a drive in the car while he’s talking to your mam.’
‘Drive?’ Anna gasped. ‘Can you drive?’
‘Course I can.’ The youth swaggered. ‘Come on. We’ll have some fun. Get your mam to pack us a picnic hamper. We’ll go off for the day.’
‘I don’t know,’ Anna said doubtfully. ‘I ought to stay and help Grandpa. The lambs are going tomorrow. I told you.’
Bruce blinked, as if he had forgotten. ‘Oh. Oh yes, I remember. You said last week.’ He frowned. ‘Why do you have to help? What have you got to do?’
‘Grandpa sometimes round them all up and brings them down to the barn. It saves time in the morning, if they’re all together. Ready for when the lorries come.’
‘Oh.’
‘I’ll ask him, though. He might not bother.’
‘You’re not going and that’s final.’
‘But Grandpa—’
‘Don’t argue, lass. I don’t want you going in that car with him. He’s not safe.’
‘You can’t say that. You don’t know what sort of a driver he is.’
‘I can make a pretty good guess. It’s bad enough your mother going off in the thing wi’ ’im.’ He jerked his thumb towards the farmhouse. ‘There’s not a lot I can do about that—’
‘Except not speak to her for days on end when she comes back,’ Anna said rashly.
‘Now, now, lass. That’s not like you to be cheeky to me.’
Anna was ashamed. ‘I’m sorry, Grandpa, but we only wanted to go for a picnic.’
‘Well . . .’ Luke was still reluctant. He didn’t like Douglas or his son. But he could hardly stop the youngsters spending time together. Even though in his heart of hearts he would like to have done so. ‘That’s all right,’ he said now. ‘You can walk down to the river bank. There’s some nice spots there for a picnic. Me and your grannie often used to take a picnic down there—’
He turned away abruptly and Anna gazed after him, sorry to have revived poignant memories. ‘We won’t be late, Grandpa. I’ll be back in time t
o help with the milking.’
As he walked away, Luke raised his hand in acknowledgement but he did not look back.
It had been a lovely afternoon down by the river. They’d sat on a rug close together, their shoulders touching. It was peaceful and quiet.
‘You wouldn’t think there was a war on, would you?’ Bruce said. Then he’d turned and kissed her, pressing her onto her back. ‘You’re lovely,’ he’d murmured against her mouth. His hand caressed her waist and then moved up to her breast.
‘Don’t!’ Anna said sharply and sat up.
For a moment, Bruce’s face was like thunder and Anna felt a tiny shiver of fear. But then he was smiling. ‘Sorry. I keep forgetting you’re only thirteen. You look older.’ He sat up too, resting his arms on his knees.
Anna was relieved, yet there was a little tinge of regret. After all, he was her boyfriend. At least, that was what she told Jean and the other girls at school. He lit a cigarette and sat smoking it.
‘Can I – can I have a puff?’
He turned and looked at her. ‘You’re not old enough to smoke – ’ he paused deliberately and then added – ‘either.’
Anna felt the colour suffuse her face and she hung her head.
She heard him laugh softly. Then he was holding out the cigarette to her. ‘Here, have a go.’
She took it and drew on it. The smoke stung the back of her throat and she began to cough, feeling as if she were choking. He slapped her hard on the back.
‘Don’t take it down the first time, you daft thing.’
She was purple in the face and it took some moments for her to recover enough to speak. ‘What on earth pleasure is there in that?’ she wheezed. ‘It’s horrible.’
Bruce was grinning at her. ‘You’d probably get to like it.’ He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. ‘Given time.’
Anna had the distinct feeling that he was not talking just about smoking.
That night Anna was restless and sleep was fitful. She tossed and turned, thinking over what had happened between her and Bruce. She felt as if she had behaved like a silly little schoolgirl. He’d only wanted a harmless cuddle, she told herself. He would never ask her to go too far, she was sure. And now she’d probably lost him. He’d find another, more mature girl who would let him love her.
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