Beating the Workplace Bully

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Beating the Workplace Bully Page 23

by Lynne Curry


  DANA CONSIDERED HERSELF A princess; spoiled by her parents

  and armed with a col ege degree in business management,

  Dana viewed herself as a prize hire. During col ege, she had worked

  part-time in her family’s business, where managers and coworkers alike

  treated her with kid gloves. Dana decided she wanted bigger and bet-

  ter things and applied for a management trainee position at Lentos.

  Dana’s bosses were pleased with her performance during her first

  three months and fast-tracked her into a junior manager position. Rather

  than being pleased, Dana wondered why she hadn’t been promoted

  to manager. After al , she had a degree and worked as hard as any

  manager.

  When she dealt with those subordinate to her, Dana adopted the

  same imperious mannerisms she believed served her well in her par-

  ents’ company, which led to multiple run-ins with support staff, includ-

  ing one that left a wel -liked receptionist in tears when Dana flew into

  a rage because the receptionist routed a call to her just before 5 p.m.

  Dana didn’t like staying after 5:00. “She’s scary,” the receptionist told her coworkers during lunch the next day. “She revved from 0 to 100 miles an

  hour, just like that!”

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  What Every Leader Should Know About Bullying ❚ 203

  Soon Dana began snapping at her peers when she thought they got

  in her way. Although Lentos emphasized a col aborative, team culture,

  Dana viewed herself as a star player and expected her coworkers to rec-

  ognize this and defer to her as employees at her family’s business had.

  Her Lentos peers began referring to Dana as El Queen.

  Coworkers noticed that she regularly texted personal messages on

  company time. When Roger showed up at her office for a meeting and

  found her texting, he waited politely in the doorway. When she looked

  up, he walked in, pointed to her cel , and teasingly asked, “Big date?”

  “How dare you!” Dana yel ed, her eyes bulging in outrage.

  “Uh, I’m here for our meeting,” said Roger.

  “I don’t have time!” And that was it for their meeting.

  When Dana completed projects, she expected accolades. When

  her managers gave her both positive and constructive feedback,

  they soon learned Dana couldn’t take criticism and rationalized any

  errors she’d made. In her fifth month, Dana had several run-ins with

  another junior manager, Stephanie. Both had brittle personalities and

  took offense easily. Both glowered whenever they were in each other’s

  presence.

  Lentos’s senior management team asked Lanie, a kind-hearted

  senior manager tasked with mentoring junior managers, to mediate the

  problem. Lanie took Stephanie and then Dana aside. Stephanie told

  Lanie that Dana had made unforgiveable comments about her.

  “Like what?”

  “I don’t remember them al ,” responded Stephanie, “but she yel ed

  ‘Look, b----, get out of my face’ when I asked her for her department’s

  data. I’m okay with someone blowing off steam, but she was out of

  control.”

  When Lanie took Dana aside, Dana said, “I gave her the data. She

  expected me to hold her hand. I don’t baby others and don’t expect

  them to baby me.”

  Lanie tried counseling Dana. “We hired and promoted you because

  we saw promise. I’m hoping you can learn from what’s happened

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  204 ❚ BEATING THE WORKPLACE BULLY

  recently. In my career, I’ve learned you get the treatment from others

  that you give them. Your coworkers think you are volatile.”

  “That’s their problem,” retorted Dana.

  “Is any part of your relationship with Stephanie or other employees

  your problem?” asked Lanie.

  Dana stiffened; she angrily responded, “I don’t see how, and I don’t

  appreciate being talked to like a three-year-old.”

  Lanie told the management team that Dana reeked of outrage and

  self-righteousness during their meeting. Lentos terminated Dana and

  gave her a letter of recommendation that stated the company viewed

  her as a promising manager-in-training who would be better suited to a

  company with a more aggressive culture.

  Shocked by her termination, Dana stormed out of the building. The

  next day she cal ed, demanding a meeting with Lentos’s chief execu-

  tive officer. She arrived with her attorney and, with her jaw thrust out,

  protested that she hadn’t felt supported as a new manager; that her

  reference letter was insulting, given all she’d done for Lentos; that she

  wanted a more complimentary letter or none at al ; and then threat-

  ened that if she didn’t get six months’ severance pay, she’d sue.

  “Consider the letter rescinded,” responded the CEO. He then

  turned to Dana’s attorney, saying, “Since a lawsuit’s been mentioned,

  this meeting is concluded. Here’s our attorney’s phone number, along

  with documentation from our investigation into Dana’s last thirty days

  with Lentos.”

  THREE REASONS LEADERS AVOID CONFRONTING BULLIES

  Bullies rip apart an organization’s culture, poison employee morale,

  and destroy productivity; nevertheless, leaders shy away from tackling

  bullies. What can leaders do if they’re committed to eliminating bul-

  lying from their work environment?

  Three factors protect and even immunize bullies.

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  What Every Leader Should Know About Bullying ❚ 205

  Reason #1: Leaders’ Blind Spot

  “Leaders have a blind spot concerning bullies,” notes Dr. Gary

  Namie, cofounder and director of the internationally known Work-

  place Bullying Institute. “Because bullies generally treat senior exec-

  utives differently, often doing personal favors for them, leaders reflex-

  ively defend them, saying, ‘That’s not the Bob I know.’ Leaders need

  to recognize that bullies ingratiate themselves with apple-polishing

  behaviors. Everyone else sees the con, but not the leader.”

  Reason #2: The Bully Exemption

  Although bullies damage morale and productivity in the long run,

  they often produce great short-term results. This leads some senior

  executives to embrace the bully as a hard-charging, bottom line–

  oriented taskmaster, claiming, “Say what you will, he gets results.”

  When employees or peers complain about such bullies, their concerns

  fall on deaf ears.

  Reason #3: Fear—Are They Talking About Me, Too?

  Bullies and those having a bad day demonstrate similar behaviors. A

  senior manager with his or her own flash temper may wonder, “If this

  behavior constitutes bullying, could I also be accused?” Because of the

  overlap between bullying and problem behaviors others demonstrate,

  many organizations hesitate to enact anti-bullying policies, claiming

  it’s too hard to define bullying.

  FOUR WAYS LEADERS CAN CREATE A BULLY-FREE

  WORK ENVIRONMENT

  Because of leaders’ status, no one bullies them, and the chain of com-

  mand works aga
inst employees at the lower and middle levels of the

  organization, who are unable to voice their concerns directly to senior

  executives. Nevertheless, there are ways to solve this problem.

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  206 ❚ BEATING THE WORKPLACE BULLY

  Solution #1: Don’t Ignore the Warning Signs

  “Leaders need to be enough in tune with employee morale to rec-

  ognize the tell-tale signs that bullying is occurring in their organi-

  zations,” advises Namie. When employees raise issues, Namie notes

  that all too often, “Leaders fail to appreciate the invaluable feedback

  on employee morale their employees provide. Instead, leaders give

  bullies impunity, responding, ‘That’s just Bob,’” leaving employees to

  realize they need to put up with the bully and shut up.

  One of the best tools for obtaining employee feedback is the

  360° review, discussed in earlier chapters, which allows employees

  and peers to confidentially answer questions that ask how managers,

  supervisors, and others treat them.

  Solution #2: Create a Bully-Free Work Environment

  Leaders set the tone for their organizations. If you’re a leader who

  cares, ask yourself these four questions:

  1. Do you model respect toward all employees?

  2. Do you listen to and address voiced concerns?

  3. Do you let all staff know what is and is not acceptable

  behavior?

  4. Do you encourage open, confidential reporting?

  If you haven’t answered “Yes” to all four questions, begin chang-

  ing what you’re doing now.

  Solution #3: Establish an Anti-Bullying Policy

  A well-written anti-bullying policy can help leaders purge unrepen-

  tant bullies.

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  What Every Leader Should Know About Bullying ❚ 207

  Model Anti-Bullying Policy

  Former attorney turned HR consultant Richard Birdsall and I

  co-authored the fol owing sample policy, which you may use:

  Workplace bul ying and harassment can inflict serious harm

  upon targeted employees. All employees have the right to be

  treated with dignity and respect at work.

  Accordingly, it is a violation of [Company] policy to engage

  in abusive conduct. No form of harassment will be permitted or

  condoned.

  Abusive conduct includes acts and/or omissions that a

  reasonable person would find abusive, based on the severity,

  nature, and frequency of the conduct, including but not limited

  to:

   Repeated verbal abuse such as the use of derogatory

  remarks, insults, and epithets;

   Verbal, nonverbal, or physical conduct of a threatening,

  intimidating, or humiliating nature;

   The sabotage or undermining of an employee’s work perfor-

  mance or opportunity for promotion or advancement.

  Employees are encouraged to report bul ying behavior

  without fear of retaliation. Employees may report harassment

  and abusive conduct to any senior manager or member of the

  Human Resources team.

  Employees engaged in harassment or abusive conduct,

  or those who retaliate against an individual for reporting such

  al eged behavior, may be subject to disciplinary action up to

  and including termination.

  Solution #4: Create a Viable Grievance Channel

  Fear and the habit of silence allow many bullies to skate under the

  radar. When individuals do come forward, they often face increased

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  208 ❚ BEATING THE WORKPLACE BULLY

  retaliatory bullying. Leaders need to create a viable grievance chan-

  nel that provides targets with confidentiality and assurance that their

  concerns will be addressed. In the model anti-bullying policy, targets

  may go to any member of senior management or Human Resources,

  which allows them to skirt the chain of command if necessary.

  Your Turn: Where Are You Now?

  If you are not in a leadership position, imagine what it would be

  like to be in one, and answer the fol owing questions accordingly.

  1. Have you seen evidence of the bul y blind spot among your

  managers, or in yourself? What didn’t you or the manager

  see or hear?

  2. Have you experienced the bul y exemption where a bul y

  was al owed to “get away with murder” because of the

  results the bul y or the work group under the bul y pro-

  duced? What was the effect? What did management need

  to realize about the cost of that bul y exemption?

  3. What distinguishes a bul y from another individual who

  exhibits problem behaviors?

  4. If you’re a leader, how do you plan to get “in tune” with

  staff at lower levels to learn what’s going on from their

  perspective?

  5. What benefits would the model anti-bul ying policy provide

  your organization? If you like it, arrange a visit with a senior

  executive or human resources professional in your organiza-

  tion and offer it to them, free of charge.

  6. Does your organization have a viable grievance channel? If

  not, what do you propose to do about it?

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  26

  WHAT HUMAN RESOURCES

  CAN AND SHOULD DO

  People always say I didn’t give up my seat because

  I was tired, but that isn’t true. . . . No, the only

  tired I was, was tired of giving in.

  —ROSA PARKS

  WHEN HR MANAGER JESS heard supervisor Ray’s voice on the

  phone, her heart sank. Ray, a Darth Vader clone, ran through

  employees like water. Some he fired; others got so fed up they quit. So

  when he told Jess, “I need you to fire Rose,” she groaned. What now?

  “Ray, what’s the problem?”

  “Ever since Rose was diagnosed with breast cancer, she’s been in

  and out of the office for doctors’ appointments.”

  “Ray, it’s understandable that she’s missed some work. She has

  cancer.”

  Steam in his voice, Ray barked his response. “Maybe you HR types

  think that’s okay but everyone in my department needs to produce. I

  can’t keep someone who can’t work the hours it takes to meet dead-

  lines. Rose claims she needs to leave by 5:00, and that’s not how it works

  in accounting.”

  “What a jerk,” thought Jess, tamping down her irritation. “We went

  over this last month. The Americans with Disabilities Act requires us to

  accommodate employees with disabilities. Cancer qualifies.”

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  210 ❚ BEATING THE WORKPLACE BULLY

  “Stupid law. Move her to another department. I expect you to take

  care of this.” Ray delivered this line like an order.

  “Not a bad idea,” thought Jess. “Rose deserves to get away from Ray,

  but move her to which department?” Jess knew Rose needed her job

  for medical insurance and viewed her work in accounting as a rock on

  which she could depend.

  “I will take care of it,” thought Jess, “but probably not the way Mr.

  Empathy wants.”


  “Ray, do you want to come to my office or should I visit you?” she

  asked.

  “I don’t have a lot of time.”

  “I’ll come to you.”

  “So, Ray, what’s got you amped up?”

  Ray snorted and spoke through thin lips, “An endless series of medical

  appointments, more frequently now that she’s got radiation every day.”

  “For how long?”

  “That’s not the point.”

  “And the point is?”

  “I need a ful -time employee.”

  “You have one. Rose has been and is a great employee. She has

  cancer. We need to accommodate her.”

  “She was a decent employee. She’s not anymore. Put her some-

  where else.”

  “I’ll look into that. Meanwhile, I expect you to treat her appropriately.

  And we’re going to talk about what that means.”

  Ray shot up from his chair. “I don’t have time for this.”

  Jess stood and eyed him. “Fine, you choose. Ten minutes with me

  now, or two hours of discrimination, anti-harassment, and retaliation

  training later.” Ray stormed out.

  “Two hours it would be,” thought Jess, knowing Ray would try to get

  out of the training by saying he’d already taken it. It clearly hadn’t sunk

  in. Ray needed to learn that the law was on Rose’s side. Jess planned to

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  What Human Resources Can and Should Do ❚ 211

  meet with Rose to reassure her, write up a short memo on the turnover

  rate in Ray’s department, advise the CEO, Paul, and provide Ray’s train-

  ing herself.

  The next morning, at the close of the monthly managers’ meeting,

  Paul said, “Jess and Ray, could you two stay a few minutes?”

  “So what’s up with you two?” Paul asked.

  Ray shot Jess a pointed look. “As I told you, Paul, our hotshot HR guru

  isn’t letting me run my department.”

  Realizing Ray had already briefed Paul on his side of the story, Jess

  knew she needed to think, not skirmish.

  “Ms. HR has time to sit in her office singing ‘Kumbaya.’ I’m trying to

  keep our company fiscal y on track, and I can’t do that unless account-

  ing is ful y staffed.”

  “Ray, your department is ful y staffed.”

  “Her friend, Rose, has a medical appointment every day,” Ray con-

  tinued, as if Jess hadn’t spoken, “and refuses to work overtime, forcing

  others to carry her load.”

 

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