by Mindy Carter
I follow him past the barn, and through a field of tall grass. The air smells of sawdust mixed with damp leaves. I'm not sure how far we walk, but Keegan stops and I crash into his back.
"Just trust me and close your eyes for me one more time?" he asks.
I let out an irritated huff and do as I'm told.
"Promise me you won't peek, okay?"
I nod. Normally I'd peek, but I'm afraid if I do I won't get my sugary treat. Grabbing my hand, he leads me down a steep hill, the kind where the closer you get to the bottom the faster your legs go. I'm sure I would fall if Keegan weren't holding my hand so tightly. Once at the bottom, my feet hit hard smooth concrete. We walk a little ways and I'm lowered down a step, and hit soft grass.
"Just a few more steps, and we'll be there."
My curiosity is killing me, and I honestly have no idea why he's dragged me here.
We stop and Keegan lets go of my hand. I notice my palm has become sweaty and my nerves must show.
After a moment he pulls me down, onto what I assume is the blanket he grabbed from the barn, because there is soft fabric beneath me.
"Okay, you can open them now."
So I do, and I forget about that stupid white bag, because I'm staring at something magnificent, a piece of art, and I'm not sure what this is, but it's the making of something beautiful.
"What's this?" I ask, staring at the construction of bricks and mortar, a stone fountain with a piece of art that looks like it came from a museum. There is scaffolding surrounding the entire structure, and I'm breathing it all in.
"It's obviously not finished," he exclaims.
"Obviously, but what is this, Keegan, and why is it here?"
He grabs my chin, forcing me to look at him.
"Aimee, this is your castle
Chapter Seven
I think I heard him right, but I'm not sure I can process it all. My castle? Keegan's hands are still holding my chin.
"What?" I ask him.
His hand leaves my face and he grabs the bag that is now long forgotten.
Opening it, he removes one of my favorite treats, a bear claw that is covered in a sugary glaze.
"Here, they're even better than they look."
"Keegan, I'm not hungry anymore. Please tell me what this is," I demand.
He shrugs, taking a bite out of the claw, moaning in a way that normally would distract me, but my heart is pounding so hard that it's difficult to think of anything but what has just been unveiled.
I continue to stare at him, waiting for him to respond to my question.
"You heard me. This is yours, Aimee, or it will be once it's finished. I told you before, I'm making up for things."
A sudden onslaught of memories hit me. Childhood promises, and my obsession with being a princess. Castles, knights, fairy tales, and Keegan promising to build me a castle. Who keeps a promise they made when they were seven years old? Keegan James does, that's who. I hold back the emotions that I'm flooded with. If he'd showed me this a week ago, I'd have been elated, but the shock is beginning to wear off and is replaced with anguish. Castles and knights, they aren't real, and this is just one more thing that will be taken from me. A dream I can almost touch, but is thrust away and disappears right before I can grab it.
"You shouldn't have done this," I tell him.
He blinks and a quick flash of disappointment appears on his face. He might have thought showing me all this would break down my walls, but now they are just built higher and stronger.
"Aimee, our story began the day I met you, and you may have given up on our happy ending, but I haven't, and I won't. You see, this isn't just something I broke ground on yesterday. I designed this when we were teenagers, I bought this land two years ago, and the construction started months ago, way before you walked back into my life," he professes.
I turn my head, not wanting him to see how his words have affected me. It sounds like a dream, and I would be lying if I said my heart wasn't all for a happy ending with him. I gather the courage to look at him.
"Keegan, this isn't real. We aren't going to ride off into the sunset. Did you ever once think while you were making plans for us what it would do to me when I found out why you left and didn't come back? You made a choice, and I don't hate you for it, I know there were things beyond your control. I've accepted our fate, and when you do we will both be better off."
His eyes show me his sadness and guilt. It's almost enough for me to pull him to me and give him what he wants, but I can't because for once my head is overtaking what my heart thinks it needs.
"I admire your strength, Aimee, I do, so much. It's one of the things I love most about you, and trust me I have a long list. I know this isn't easy, but I'm going to keep reminding you what you are to me, and who you have always been. You are my everything; no one could mean to me what you do. As long as we live I'll remind you that loving you is as effortless for me as breathing."
My breath catches at his heartfelt confession, the most romantic and beautiful words I have ever heard.
"Keegan, enough. Either take me to the hospital, or I'll just walk." A tear escapes, and he wipes it away with his thumb. He looks at me with love and understanding. He's not going to push anymore, and I'm relieved.
He's silent while he nods and grabs everything he's brought. We walk to the car and I leave my head down, but my heart tells me to get one last look at the structure. He may never give up on us, and that makes me hopeful. My heart wants it all, but my head is screaming to get away. If only it was that easy to get away from it all.
No words are exchanged, and as we pull up to the hospital, I wonder why he isn't parking; I assumed he was going to follow. He doesn't get out of the car, but he gives me the remaining bear claw.
"Tell your dad hi, and that I have a conference call and I'll be by later to see him."
I look at him in confusion. This isn't what I expected from him, and at first I'm not sure if he's just gauging my reaction, but I can see in his eyes he is serious. He wouldn't just give up? No, he wouldn't after his confessions. I remove myself from the car in a daze and make my way to the entrance. I look back and he has already gone. The pit of my stomach is heavy, and I wonder how I am ever going to survive Keegan James. The man is a puzzle, all the pieces scattered in my heart. Will I ever be able to put it all together?
When I enter my dad's room, everything falls away. It is empty, and another emotion replaces all the others: fear. I then realize I'm missing my purse and it's still in the car. My head is just all over the place. I run to the nurses' station to find out what is going on.
"Oh dear, we tried calling you. He's fine, we just needed the bed and moved him to a different floor," the nurse tells me. My heart catches up to my head.
"Here you go." She writes down my father's new room.
"Thank you," I say with a relieved smile.
I make my way toward the elevator, but take a detour to an empty and quiet corridor. I lean against the wall and let out a breath, then everything inside bursts out of me in one giant explosion. I cry all over again over the fear of losing my father, Keegan, and my carefully scripted mundane life. I slide down the wall and pull my knees to my chest. I place my chin on the top of my knees, and let out a hysterical laugh. I truly have lost my mind, and if I don't pull myself together soon, I know I'm going to do something stupid.
I stand and wipe my eyes free of tears. I duck into a nearby bathroom and put down the white bag I've been holding on to so I can splash cold water on my face. The mirror shows I look worn and older than my twenty-six years.
I go to grab the handle and exit the bathroom when the door opens, almost hitting me in the face.
"Oh crap, I'm so sorry," says a sweet voice.
I back away, allowing the door to open fully. A woman dressed in blue scrubs with blonde hair piled on top of her head enters.
"Aimee?"
I look over, and the woman is staring at me. She looks familiar, but I can't come up w
ith a name; my head is still a mess from earlier, and I probably wouldn't recognize anyone right now.
"Yes," I respond.
"It's Delaney. We were in the same class."
Wow, yes, I remember her now, but she looks different.
"Delaney, yes. How are you?"
She pulls me to her. "You look exactly the same."
I return her compliment, because most people would love to remain their high school self.
"You look great. Do you work here?" I ask.
She looks down at what she's wearing and grabs the hem of her shirt.
"You mean these old things. Yeah, I'm a nurse here in labor and delivery."
I smile at her and her smile is infectious.
"That's great," I tell her.
She leans against the sink and says, "What's going on? Last I heard you were living in the Big Apple."
"Yes, I'm just back to look after my dad."
The look on her face tells me she's concerned. Delaney and I were friends in high school, not super close, but we hung out a lot and when we were kids we took ballet lessons together, so I've known her almost as long as Keegan.
"I'm so sorry, what happened?"
"He had a heart attack a couple days ago. I'm here until he recovers. Hopefully, I can take him home in a couple days."
"Aimee, I'm sorry. That sucks. I should have known that, you know, running into you here at the hospital and all," she apologizes, and looks at her watch. "I've got to get back to work, but what are you doing later? We should catch up, and honestly, you look like you could use a drink."
I'm a little taken aback by her comment. Do I look that bad?
"Don't get me wrong, you look great. How about you meet me at Al Patti's at nine? I'm not taking no for an answer."
She looks at me with big green eyes and I decide that a change is good, and I like Delaney. It may be good for me to get my mind off things.
"Sure, I'll be there after visiting hours."
"Awesome, see you then. Excuse me, I really have to use the bathroom before I get back."
"Oh, sorry, I'll see you later."
While I make my way to Dad's room, I find myself looking forward to later, if only to forget about my problems. Plus, Al Patti's is a quaint little sports bar. It's family owned and close to the university, but not too far from my house.
I find my dad doing what he does best, channel surfing, but he looks better today. His cheeks have more color, and he doesn't look as tired as he was yesterday.
"There's my little girl." He smiles when I enter.
"Hi, Dad. How're you feeling?"
"Pretty good, the doctors are talking about discharging me in another day or two."
The faster we are home the better I will feel. I hate visiting him here.
"Dad, that's great."
"Now you can stop worrying that pretty little head of yours. I'll be fine and you can go back home."
I hate that he wants me to go home, because all I want is to be here with him as long as he needs me.
"There's no rush. I'm fine here, and honestly if I need to I can work from here. That's the beauty of being a writer, you can basically do it anywhere."
"Have I told you how proud I am of you, Aimee Elizabeth?"
He doesn't need to tell me that, I already know. He's the best and I wouldn't trade him for anything. My father's love is unconditional, and the best kind I've ever known. I'm so lucky to have him.
I look around and see a couple of vases of flowers on the windowsill.
Changing the subject, switching the focus off me, I ask, "The flowers are beautiful, who are they from?" I should have gotten him a get-well gift.
"One is from Mr. and Mrs. James, and the other is from Reese." He points.
Of course Keegan's parents would send flowers. They have always been very thoughtful, and Reese, well, she loves my dad.
"Speaking of, where's the boy?" he asks, referring to Keegan.
"Oh, he'll be by later, he has business," I answer.
He seems satisfied with my answer, and doesn't ask me anything else about Keegan's whereabouts; I have no clue where he went. He said he'd be back, but his sudden swing in mood has me a bit confused.
My dad is looking at me, and I'm afraid he can read my thoughts. Not good.
"Remember Delaney Scott? I just ran in to her in the bathroom. She works here," I say.
"No kidding. I sure do. How is she?"
"She's a nurse here in labor and delivery. She wants to get together tonight, to catch up."
My dad looks at me, and I can tell he knows something that I didn't want to reveal.
"That's a great idea. You and Keegan should go out and have some fun. Relax, and catch up with Delaney."
"I told her yes, I'll see her later at Al Patti's after they kick me out," I laugh.
"So what's in the bag?" he asks, and I look down, having forgotten about it.
"It's just a bear claw Keegan got for me."
"Your favorite. Seems like he hasn't changed much. Always doing nice things for you no matter what, following you here to make sure you're all right."
What's he getting at, and since when was my dad all team Keegan?
"I know, Dad. By the way, I went to the cemetery this morning. I think I'll go back in a couple days and clean up a little, and bring flowers."
"Good idea," he says simply.
Silence ensues, and I decide to put on a happy smile.
"So, anything good on? I can stop at the store or home and bring you some magazines, or I'm sure the staff can find you something. Don't they have that lady who stops by with the book cart?"
"I'm fine, Aimee, but thanks for asking." He continues clicking the remote.
He finds Raiders Of The Lost Ark and stops. An oldie but goodie, we both watch in silence as Harrison Ford evades pursuers in Cairo, and of course, rescues his long-lost love, Marion. I liked that she was independent and strong. She always told Indy what was on her mind. Too bad the next two movies she wasn't around. Then of course she shows back up in the last movie, and they continue where they left off. Why can't life be as easy as the movies, forgive and forget, move on? I wish it could be like jumping into another story or adventure. Unfortunately, that's not how things work in reality. The love of your life leaves, and keeps secrets, and lets another woman control him. He forgets about what's truly important, and when he realizes his mistakes, it's too late because the pain is just so much, forgiveness isn't possible.
How could I ever entertain forgiving a man who hasn't let me in entirely? Who doesn't trust that I wouldn't run away at knowing his faults? No one is perfect, but things would have been so different if he just trusted me like I've trusted him. Thanks, Indiana Jones, for putting things into perspective.
I end up dozing off in the chair. When I wake, my stomach is growling so I break down and eat the bear claw. It's even more delicious than I imagined, and refusing myself such a treat is ridiculous. As I'm enjoying the sweet pastry, I look at my dad, who is just smiling at me and shaking his head.
"What?" I ask with my mouth full.
"Nothing, Aimee, but didn't I ever teach you not to talk with your mouth full?" He's scolding me, and suddenly I feel more like a child than I have in years.
Chapter Eight
Walking into Al Patti's, I spot Delaney right away at the massive bar. When she spots me she smiles.
"You made it. I was worried you would stand me up." She looks surprised.
"Trust me, Delaney, I need this. It's been a rough couple of days."
She eyes me, concerned. "Well, we'll have none of that, and only good times will be had here tonight."
I feel better already. I left my dad an hour ago, after spending the entire day watching television and talking. Keegan never came back, and it irritated me that he would so adamantly bully me into being together, then out of the blue disappear. He showed me that castle, and I think I'm still shocked; I literally can't get it out of my head. I'm now imagining what
it will look like when it's finished. I'm sure the inside will be beautiful, but it will never be my home. It can't be.
A drink is placed in front of me and Delaney sits across from me in a booth.
"What's this?" I ask.
"It's the best drink ever, and guaranteed to make you forget: El Diablo. It has tequila in it, so don't go all crazy. No one likes a lush." She winks at me. Delaney has always been so fun to be around.
I take a sip of the drink and it's delicious. She is right, I won't be able to have too many of these concoctions or I'll be being peeled off the floor. All I ate today was that damn bear claw. The only sustenance I had was given to me by Keegan, and now he's back so I take another sip, this time enough that half my drink is gone. The faster this drink affects me the better. I'd like to banish all thoughts of him for at least one night.
"Wow, that bad, huh?" Delaney asks.
I nod. "This past month has been pretty stressful."
"Well, it's a good thing we ran in to one another isn't it?" She smiles.
The bar is a lot more crowded than it was a few minutes ago, and I take a look around, eying the patrons, who I assume are from the university.
"It's the witching hour, when all of college's finest come by, and see if their fake ID's will get them some booze. Too bad Nate is working; he rarely lets one get by him."
Nate the bartender graduated with us. I remember he played baseball with Keegan in high school. His parents owned the bar, and their parents before them, and now he does.
We laugh as he turns a few kids away who obviously are underage. The looks of devastation on their faces as they walk away make me feel a little bad for them. We were all in their position, trying to act older then we really were just to get an alcoholic drink. I'm sure the next step for the youth is to stand outside the convenience store asking people if they can buy them beer.
"I feel like I'm in college again," I say.
The drink is kicking in in a big way. I feel warmth all through my body, and it's suddenly stifling in the bar.
"Yeah, but I don't remember that guy in college, he's seriously hot." She points to the bar, at someone talking to Nate and shaking his hand. My vision is obstructed and I can't see who it is. I like hot, who doesn't? I may have lost the love of my life, but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate the finer things in life. I think that may be the alcohol talking, but I'm not sure.