WHEN I PULLED ON MY RIDING BOOTS FOR Monday morning’s lesson, I thought about how torturous the weekend had been. For two days, I agonized about Eric and Callie. I’d picked up the phone to call Callie a million times, but hung up every time. Eric’s plea to give him room had flashed in my brain whenever I’d started to text him. I hadn’t sent one message.
“You sure I did the right thing this weekend?” I asked Paige, slipping into my coat.
“Absolutely,” Paige said. “You were going to let Jasmine bully you into telling Callie. You need it to come from you wanting to tell Callie, or it’ll make things worse. And with Eric, you were just giving him the space he wanted.”
“But every second I wait, Eric could be getting more upset,” I said. “I feel awful.”
Paige shook her head. “Eric’s not mad at you, Sash. He was just hurt. When he calms down, he’ll realize that he would never want you to ruin your friendship with Callie just to publicize your relationship.”
“But I still have to tell her. And everyone else.”
“You do,” Paige said. “But not because Jas forced you. I mean, what if she’s lying?”
I paused. “I do believe her. I don’t know why, but I just do.”
I ducked into the bathroom to brush my hair. At least Paige’s party hadn’t been ruined. Just like I’d hoped, she hadn’t noticed that I’d ducked out until five minutes before the party was supposed to end. She’d had a perfect night and I was glad I hadn’t messed it up with my boy drama.
But now I had to go riding. Callie would be there and I still didn’t know what to say.
“It’s going to be fine,” Paige said before I left for the stable. “Really.”
“You’re the best, thank you,” I said.
I walked slow enough to the stable that I was almost late when I got there. Charm, sensing my worried mood, was extra sweet to me as I tacked him up. His big brown eyes followed me as I unhooked the crossties. He nosed me and rubbed his cheek resting on my shoulder.
“Thanks, boy,” I said. “I needed that.” I hugged Charm’s neck, inhaling his sweet hay-and-grain scent. I let him go and we walked to the arena. I mounted, peering through the window.
Everyone was already warming up inside.
“What should we do?” I whispered to Charm. “Do we go in or skip?”
Charm looked in the direction of the arena. Sigh. I waited a few more seconds before I let him walk through the entrance. Callie’s back was to me as she trotted Jack along the wall.
I let Charm walk through the center of the arena, urging him toward Jack. I wanted to tell Callie that we needed to talk. But strides away from Callie, Mr. Conner walked into the arena. He motioned for us to line up in front of him. Callie and I ended up at opposite ends of the line.
“Let’s get right to work, girls,” he said. “I want to run through flatwork, then try something new.”
“New?” Julia asked. She rubbed Trix’s neck when the mare sidestepped.
“We’re going to try arena cross-country,” Mr. Conner said. “It’s too dangerous for us to get on the real outdoor course, but I want you to practice. While you warm up in here, Mike, Doug, and I are going to set up a course in the outdoor arena.”
Even my worry about Callie couldn’t stop me from smiling. Charm and I were finally about to do cross-country.
“I’ll be back in a few minutes,” Mr. Conner said.
I angled Charm behind Sunstruck and he started trotting. There was no way I’d be able to talk to Callie during a lesson. I also didn’t want to risk getting kicked out for talking.
When Mr. Conner came back, he took us through a few exercises. We were all eager to get through flatwork and try arena cross-country.
“All right,” Mr. Conner said finally. “Let’s stop and talk jumping.”
I pulled Charm next to Aristocrat.
“In a minute, we’re going to head to the outdoor arena. There’s a short course that will give you the feel of cross-country. While you wait, stay out of the arena so your horse doesn’t have time to become familiar with the obstacles.”
Heather and I exchanged glances. We both excelled at cross-country.
“Wipe that I’m-number-one-and-I-know-it look off your face,” Heather whispered. “You’re not the only one who’s good at cross-country.”
“We’ll see,” I whispered back.
“Let’s go,” Mr. Conner said. We followed him out of the stable and to the outdoor arena. Weak sunshine spilled over the grounds and the spring sky was cloudless. Brighter, greener grass was taking over the dry winter grass. The rolling hills would soon be clover green.
I was glad to get out of the confining indoor arena—it felt especially small when you thought someone was mad at you.
“Alison,” Mr. Conner said. “You may go first. Everyone else, please wait by the entrance.”
Callie, Heather, Julia, and I gathered our horses by the fence. I looked out at the arena. Mr. Conner hadn’t been kidding—it was like a mini-cross-country course! He’d set up log piles, hay bales, a faux ditch, shrubs, barrels, and a table.
Alison trotted Sunstruck through the entrance, squeezing with her knees. She had to keep pressure on Sunstruck, who sometimes spooked at new obstacles, to get him through the course. But when she kept Sunstruck calm, the palomino seemed to float over the jumps.
Alison eased Sunstruck into a canter and he jumped over the log pile without hesitation. Strides before the hay bales, he started to weave.
“He’s gonna run out,” Julia whispered. “There’s no way she’ll get him over that.”
Alison urged him forward with her hands and seat, sitting deep in the saddle. Sunstruck’s ears flicked back and forth and he shifted sideways with every step.
“More leg!” Mr. Conner called.
Alison, nodding once, urged Sunstruck forward. They reached the hay bales and at first I thought he would refuse. He rocked back on his haunches, almost freezing for a second before popping into the air. The form wasn’t pretty, but he made it over the scary bales.
Sunstruck’s confidence was up after he cleared the bales. Alison got him over the rest of the jumps without a problem.
“Excellent,” Mr. Conner told her. “That was tough. It took great concentration on your part to get Sunstruck through the course. You should be proud of that ride.”
Alison blushed and rubbed Sunstruck’s neck.
“Heather, when you’re ready,” Mr. Conner said.
Heather and Aristocrat put on a strong performance just as I knew they would. Aristocrat, always a powerful jumper, was in top form and he sailed over every obstacle with room to spare. Heather rode him back to us, smiling.
Mr. Conner nodded at Julia. She got Trix over the logs and hay bales. Trix started to slow as they approached the “ditch,” which was a brown tarp held down by two jump poles. The horse couldn’t tell the difference between the dirt-colored tarp and a hole.
“Keep her moving,” Mr. Conner said. “Don’t let her slow down.”
But Julia reacted too late. Trix, already spooked by the ditch, broke into a trot. Julia couldn’t get her back to a canter. Trix slid to a halt before the jump, and Julia grabbed fistfuls of mane to keep herself from falling forward over Trix’s head. She let Trix back up, then turned her to Mr. Conner.
“Sorry,” she muttered. “I didn’t get her going fast enough.”
“It’s okay,” Mr. Conner said. “Start again at the hay bales. Move her forward with your legs and seat. She’s going to try to get away with stopping again, so be ready.”
Julia nodded and tapped Trix with her heels. Trix took the hay bales, and Julia urged her into a faster canter. I watched as Trix’s stride shortened and her back tensed. Julia pushed Trix forward with her seat, encouraging the mare to keep moving. Just when I thought Trix would slam to a halt, she leaped into the air and cleared the ditch.
“Yes!” Alison whispered.
Julia and Trix completed the rest of the course and rejo
ined us. Alison high-fived Julia.
“Good job,” Mr. Conner said. “You didn’t let the first mistake rattle you. You kept enough pressure on her with your legs to let her know that running out or stopping before the ditch wasn’t an option.”
“I’ll be sure to apply leg pressure earlier,” Julia said, patting Trix’s neck. “Good girl.”
Callie rode next. She and Jack, often better at dressage, had a good round without hitting any of the jumps. I could see it in Callie’s face—she was just relieved that Jack was still sound. She had to be nervous every time he jumped and the fear would probably take a while to fade.
“Go ahead, Sasha,” Mr. Conner said.
I took a deep breath, trying to ignore my nerves, and asked Charm to trot. A few strides into the arena, he started to canter.
“Let’s do this,” I whispered. Charm bobbed his head—he knew we had to work together.
We lined up with the log pile and Charm pricked his ears forward as we approached the logs. He leaped over them, snorting, and cantered to the hay bales. Mr. Conner had three bales side by side in a row and they were all tilted at different angles. I pointed Charm at the middle. He tucked his knees, leaping into the air.
“Good,” I whispered. The ditch was strides away, but I wasn’t worried. Charm and I had, above all else, trust. He knew I wouldn’t let anything hurt him. That’s why I was sure he’d get over the ditch the first time.
We reached the ditch and Charm didn’t even focus on the tarp. He jumped and landed inches away from the pole on the far side. Yes! I cheered in my head. Okay, okay. Don’t lose focus.
He made it easily over the faux brush and the barrel. Then, gathering himself, he propelled into the air and soared over the picnic table. He landed without touching the table and we cantered back toward the group.
“Perfect,” I whispered. “You rock, boy.”
Charm flicked his tail. He knew—I didn’t have to say it.
We slowed and Charm walked through the exit.
“Wonderful, Sasha,” Mr. Conner said. He tapped his clipboard against his leg. “You and Charm continue to shine at cross-country.”
“Thanks,” I said, beaming.
“Give your horses to Mike and Doug, and I’ll see you next time,” Mr. Conner said.
Trust, I thought again. Trust was always the key to success in any relationship. With Charm, and with Eric.
32
TRUTH COMES OUT
BY THE TIME CLASSES ENDED, I COULDN’T stand it for another second. I had to fix things with Eric. I owed it to Callie to tell her before I told anyone else about us, so I’d do that. Even if she was upset, there was nothing I could do. I couldn’t ruin my relationship with Eric over this.
I checked the time on my phone. I had to meet Jacob in a few minutes to trade film papers at the library. If Callie could meet us there, it would be the perfect chance to tell them both. On my way across campus, I hugged my coat around my body and forced myself to take deep breaths.
Once inside, I snagged an empty table and waited. You never lied to Callie, I reminded myself. You didn’t do anything wrong.
Jacob dropped his book bag on the table with a thud. “Hey,” he said, sliding into one of the wooden chairs across from me.
“Hi,” I said. “Got your paper?” I wanted to hurry and read each other’s papers so I could get the next part over with.
“Sure.” Jacob opened his messenger bag and dug through it. Finally, he produced his paper. “You just want to e-mail each other notes later? That way we don’t have to sit here and read, I guess,” Jacob suggested.
“That’s fine.”
I took a shaky breath—I had to get this out.
“Jacob,” I said. “I need to tell you something.”
He put my paper down. “What?” His hazel eyes settled over me.
“I need to talk to Callie too. Do you think you could ask her to meet us here?”
“Okaaay.” Jacob stared at me for a second before he texted Callie. A few seconds later, his phone vibrated. “She’s on her way.”
I nodded. “Thanks.”
I looked down and played with the corners of Jacob’s paper. I didn’t know what else to say. Jacob rocked back on the legs of his chair. We were mostly silent as the minutes ticked by.
“Sasha,” Jacob said. “Whatever you have to say—”
“I need to wait for Callie,” I said, cutting him off. “Sorry.”
Callie, her cheeks flushed from nerves or the cold, walked toward us. She sat by Jacob and across from me—not even bothering to take off her coat.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, looking at Jacob and then at me. “Just tell me.”
I placed my elbows on the table, resting my chin on my hands. “I don’t know how to start, but since you both already know, I’m going to just say it.”
I paused. The second I said it, Callie and I could very well be officially over as friends.
“I’m going out with Eric,” I said, staring at my hands so I didn’t have to see their faces. “I didn’t realize that I liked him that way until the last day of the clinic. I should have told you earlier, but I was afraid that you’d think I’d been with him all along—that I’d been lying to you before when I’d said we were just friends. I’m sorry I kept it from you.”
I lifted my eyes to look at them. Callie’s face was blank—totally unreadable. Jacob just stared at me.
“You’re with Eric?” Callie asked in an even tone.
I nodded.
Callie shook her head, seeming confused. “I didn’t know that,” she said. She looked at Jacob. “Did you?”
“No,” he said.
“You didn’t?” I asked. “But Jasmine said she’d heard you guys talking about it. She said you told Jacob that if I was dating Eric, our friendship was over.”
“I never said that,” Callie said. “I’m dating Jacob, so why would I be upset if you’re with Eric now?”
“I promise I wasn’t with Eric until the end of the clinic.”
“Sasha, it’s okay,” Callie said. “I believe you.”
I slid back in my chair. Jasmine. Why had I ever believed her? She’d totally had me fooled. She’d known the one thing that would get under my skin, the one big secret I’d been trying to keep, and she’d preyed on it. I couldn’t believe that all this—everything getting messed up with Eric at the premiere party—had all been for what? To prove she could trick me? To make me feel stupid? Why?
I realized Jacob hadn’t said a word in a while. He only shuffled through my film paper and occasionally cleared his throat.
“I’m sorry you didn’t think you could tell me about Eric,” Callie said.
“I was just so afraid of losing you—especially after we’d just gotten our friendship back.”
“Of course you were,” Callie said. “I was awful to you before when I wouldn’t believe that you and Eric were just friends.”
Callie and I looked at each other.
“But we can start over,” Callie said. “No more secrets?” Callie reached across the table and stuck out her pinky.
I leaned over and linked my pinky to hers. “No more secrets,” I echoed.
We smiled, then our eyes shifted over to Jacob. Oops, it had definitely gotten way too emo in here for Jacob—I’d never seen him look so uncomfortable.
He shifted in his seat when both of us looked at him.
“I can go now…,” Jacob said.
“I’ll go with you,” Callie said. She looked at me. “Sasha and I can talk more later, right?”
“Definitely.”
While Jacob stuffed his papers into his bag, I walked around the table to stand by Callie.
Callie reached out and hugged me. “I’m happy for you,” she whispered in my ear.
As soon as Callie and Jacob left, I shoved Jacob’s film paper in my bag. It was time to talk to Eric.
As I walked toward the library’s exit, I spotted the Trio across the room. Heather’s head was be
nt over her book. And, as usual, Julia’s and Alison’s books were closed. Their mouths, however, weren’t—they whispered to each other and giggled, soliciting a trademarked librarian’s angry “Shhh!”
Courtyard? Pls? I texted Eric.
I walked down and sat on the stone steps. The sun was just starting to set, and shadows crept across campus. Hunching against the cold, I stared at my phone and willed it to beep. While I waited, I rearranged everything in my book bag and twisted my watermelon lip gloss up and down in the tube. C’mon, Eric, I thought. Please text me. I sighed. He wasn’t going to. He was so mad that he—
Buzzzz.
I jumped. “Omigod!” I said to no one.
I flipped open the screen.
Ok.
Yesyesyes!! I ran, skipping the sidewalks and cutting through the grass.
By the time I reached the fountain, I was completely out of breath. Eric stood by the benches, waiting for me. The sun cast a warm orange glow over him. His hands were in the pockets of his brown coat and a piece of hay clung to the hem of his jean leg. He’d been visiting Luna.
“Hi,” I said, still breathless.
Eric’s eyes locked on mine. “Hey.”
I dropped my bag to the ground and stood in front of him. “I’m sorry about Paige’s party. I was a jerk, Eric.”
“Sash—”
“Please. I need to say this.”
Eric nodded.
“I was scared about messing things up for us,” I said. “I should have told everyone weeks ago. Even though I was worried about Callie, my relationship with you should have been the most important thing.”
Eric didn’t move. I watched his face, trying to decide if he was going to walk away or keep listening.
“I really like you, Eric,” I said. “I just spoke to Callie and Jacob a minute ago. I told them we’re together—and Callie was really happy for us. I’m an idiot for not telling them sooner.”
“You’re not an idiot,” Eric said. “We both made mistakes at the party. I should have let you explain. But…”
But. Oh, my God. I squeezed my eyes shut. But was bad. Always. I’d ruined everything. Again. First Jacob. Now Eric.
Then I felt Eric’s strong, warm hand in mine.
The Canterwood Crest Stable of Books Page 61