by Kaylin Lee
I pursed my lips. “Perhaps. But if living conditions are better in the tenements, that might explain any ways in which you seem different from others who grew up in the River Quarter. You’ll have to investigate the inside. See if you can get a glimpse inside the door of someone’s personal living quarters in a tenement building. Tomorrow night, sweetheart. We can’t waste any more time. And if there are lots of people, at least they’ll be less likely to realize you don’t belong.”
Bri sighed and scooped her bag off the table. “Fine.”
“Alba? What did you learn?”
Her eyes darted to the side, and she busied herself opening the enclosure of her bag. “Well, first I found—”
“Hold on. I didn’t ask what you found. I asked what you learned. What did you observe of the Mage Division?”
“It’s … it’s … very large and … very grand. I think it will be a wonderful place to live!” Her voice crept up an octave, and she smiled brightly.
“Alba…” What was going on? Why would neither girl meet my eyes this morning? They’d been doing so well for the past few months, each girl returning with a bag full of every assignment on my list. They were both ready. I’d be turning myself in any day now, and then they would be going to the Mage Division with their scripted stories after that. First, Bri would go, and then Alba would show up a few weeks later. At least, that was the plan. So why did I get the feeling they were lying to me?
Alba’s face flushed. Bri shifted on her feet. Lying. Definitely, lying.
“Tell me what you’re hiding. Sit down and tell me now, or I’ll—” I didn’t finish, because I didn’t know what I would do if they were lying. There was no other option. They had to be ready now.
Alba gave in first. She sank into a chair, and after a long pause, Bri followed suit.
I stood before them and crossed my arms. I had to stay calm. “Well?”
“I didn’t go to the Mage Division tonight.” Alba’s voice was small. She picked at the peeling wood on the table.
I’d gathered as much. “And where did you go instead?”
“Th-the rooftop next door.”
I stilled. “What?”
“I took a nap on the roof of the building next door. Bri went to the Mage Division and completed my assignments.”
I gritted my teeth. “Bri, is this true?”
She nodded, her attention devoted to a thread coming loose from the wrist of her sweater.
Then another thought hit me. “Is this the first time?”
Bri gave just the slightest shake of her head, as though her own body objected to telling me the truth.
Alba’s cheeks turned bright red. “She’s been getting my assignments for the past few months.”
The past few months? They’d been cheating ever since I’d begun to think they were ready to survive in the city without me. How could I have been so blind?
I took a deep breath and exhaled, fighting desperately to keep my panic under wraps. “Why? Why would you do such a thing?”
Bri sat up a little straighter in her chair. “Alba can’t go out in the city on her own, Mom. She’s too scared. But I can do it for her. She doesn’t need to do it alone. And once she’s in the Mage Division, it won’t matter, will it? She can move about freely and—”
“That’s not the point!” I put my hands on my hips. “If you two don’t learn about life outside the bakery, no one will ever believe that you’ve been living a normal life up until now. They’ll realize you’ve been in hiding, and they’ll figure out that you’ve been with me all this time. No one can know that you’re my daughters, or you’ll never be safe!”
Alba’s lip quivered, and Bri leaned back, her face pale.
I sighed, and my shoulders slumped as I dropped my hands at my sides. “Get some sleep. I’ll see you at breakfast.”
I wrapped my sweater tighter around my torso and went back to the roof. I stood at the edge of the roof as dawn turned the sky a gentle wash of pink and blue. The herby, musky scent of the garden wrapped itself around me, and I shut my eyes against the bright sky and rising sun. Exhaustion tugged at me, but there was no way I could sleep now, not after finding out they’d been lying to my face for months.
Alba was scared of the city? She was so full of laughter, warmth, and daydreams. She talked of nothing but falling in love with a handsome mage or a rich Procus lord as soon as she was at the Mage Division, although she was careful to keep her wording vague when Ella was around. Yet she was too scared to go about in the city alone? How could we possibly do this?
Perhaps I could keep the twins together. They could both claim to be from the River Quarter. They could be orphaned friends, not sisters—for they looked nothing alike—who had just discovered their mage powers recently. Bri could look out for Alba, and Alba wouldn’t have to lie convincingly about Draicia after all. Was the risk too great? What if—
I shook my head at the thought. Everything was a risk. Hadn’t we learned that the hard way? If they were together, Alba stood a better chance of surviving. And Bri … well, she’d brought this on herself by doing her sister’s assignments for her. She’d take care of her sister.
I would turn myself in to the Asylian authorities and claim I’d been hiding in the Badlands ever since that incident in the Common Quarter market, and when the furor died down, Bri and Alba would seek shelter at the Mage Division like new mages who had nothing to do with me. When they inevitably put me under the control of my True Name, at least I would know that my girls were safe on their own. Hopefully, after all this preparation, I would be able to retain some part of my own will this time. I had to believe it was possible.
Everything would work out. Everyone would survive. But what would I do about Ella?
“Zel? What are you doing up here already?” Ella elbowed the door to downstairs shut, her hands full with a tray of breakfast, coffee, and a small crystal vase.
I forced my lips into a smile. “Just enjoying the view this morning. Breakfast time already?”
Ella set the tray down on the rusty little table at the center of the roof. “I thought I’d make up the table with something special this morning, since it’s my final exam day and all. Almost done with school! Commerce Ministry, here I come.”
She grinned, but her smile looked as forced as mine felt. Dark circles surrounded her tired, bloodshot eyes, and the golden sheen of residual cinderslick coated her hands and cheeks. She had to be exhausted. Soon, Ella. Just hold on a little longer.
“A lovely idea.” I pulled the tattered white tablecloth off the tray and spread it over the table when she lifted the tray. “I’ll find a few flowers.”
We filled the vase with a mix of yellow butterflowers, white rosedrops, and an array of feathery greens. Ella set out plates and pulled the checked blue and white cloth off a basket of honey-scented, golden scones. Then she pulled a folded copy of the Herald from her apron pocket and set it on the table.
The sight of so much familiar comfort in one place made my stomach hurt. One of these breakfasts would be our last one together. How could I possibly leave Ella here alone? On the other hand, how could I stay and let three innocent girls keep paying for my secret?
The morning sun warmed my shoulders as I sat beside Ella at the table. She poured us each a cup of coffee, and we sat in companionable silence, perusing the newspaper as we waited for the girls to come up to the roof.
Ella nudged me with her forearm as she gripped the Commerce section. “We’ve come a long way since those cold bowls of victus, haven’t we?”
“We sure have. Thanks to you, El.”
Ella dodged my praise, like always. Her cheeks flushed as she simply shook her head and lifted the newspaper again. There was a long, quiet pause, and then she lowered the newspaper and met my eyes. “I don’t know what I would have done without you.”
The sincerity in her beautiful green eyes made my stomach drop.
“If you hadn’t come, I would have been all alone when Father died
. I never would have been able to keep the bakery. And I certainly never would have applied for that Royal Academy scholarship if you hadn’t spent so much time teaching me and encouraging me to apply.” Ella lifted one shoulder and her mouth tilted into a small smile. “Anything I’ve done for our family, I did because I wanted to, for you and the girls. You don’t have to thank me.”
A lump formed in my throat. I didn’t trust myself to speak, so I reached out and squeezed her hand. When I let go, she set aside the newspaper and flipped through her notes for the exam, and I leaned back in my chair, my hands shaking too much to grip my coffee cup.
She would be crushed when we left. I’d been dreading that conversation for two years, and now it was almost time to have it. I wanted her to understand that as long as I was with her, she’d continue to pay for my secret. I had to leave, and so did the girls. No one could ever find out that Ella had knowingly sheltered three unregistered mages for all those years. I had to leave because I loved her too much to make her suffer for my presence.
I had a feeling she wouldn’t see it that way.
Bri and Alba joined us a few minutes later, still bleary-eyed from sleep, their hair mussed and their morning dresses buttoned haphazardly. When they saw the scones, they fell upon them like wolves in the Badlands. Ella laughed and teased them, putting a smile back on Alba’s face. Bri stayed quiet, still looking guilty about her role in their deception.
I glanced across the alley to where Alba had supposedly spent last night napping on the roof. She’d lied to my face for months, and she was scared of the city. I still couldn’t quite believe it, but I had my solution. I’d keep her and Bri together, and I’d turn myself in as soon as Bri had a chance to flesh out the details of their fabricated life in the River Quarter slums. Then they would leave too, and Ella would finally be free to sell the bakery and pursue her dreams without worrying about protecting us.
Only one problem remained unsolved. Whatever would I do about Ella, and her tender, vulnerable heart? I couldn’t leave without hurting her, but I couldn’t stay without hurting her even more. Impossible.
I spent the rest of breakfast staring blankly at a long article about the Crimson Blight—something about the group’s mysterious appearance in Asylia five years earlier. I tried to follow the journalist’s various theories on the origins of that violent, red-masked group of men, but all I could think about was Ella. She was about to graduate from the Royal Academy, and she deserved to be free of us, didn’t she? Then why did the thought of leaving her make my stomach twist so sourly?
Alba prattled on about Prince Estevan’s selection ball, and then Ella went downstairs to get ready and Bri cleared the table. I left her and Alba to clean up and went to the edge of the roof again. I imagined my will coming under the leash of my True Name, then straining and growing and stretching my True Name until it snapped, never to be forced on me again. I would be strong enough. I had to be.
Darien had believed I could one day be physically strong enough to resist the Wasp Queen’s magic. After years of consistent meals and physical training, my muscles were very strong now—perhaps strong enough to do just that. My will was even stronger. I’d survived thirteen years in hiding, caring for three little girls by myself. I’d kept us all safe, alive, and mostly happy. If I could do that, couldn’t I resist my True Name’s control?
I watched people come and go along our lane as the girls went downstairs, staring without seeing until one young man caught my eye. He was tall and broad-shouldered, with golden hair, tan skin, and fine clothing—far too fine for a commoner. He had to be a mage.
He wore no gold service armband. That and his downcast face told me everything I needed to know. He must be an outcast like the ones Ella’s father and Belen had told me about—a mage too weak to be of use to the city government. He stopped in front of the bakery and squared his shoulders, as though mustering the will to enter.
A cast out mage, seeking shelter at the bakery? If so, he would be the first since the plague. I shoved my hands in my dress pockets and chewed on my lower lip. Perhaps there was a way I could ensure Ella was taken care of even after I left. I’d have to tell him everything—my secret, the whole plan to turn myself in.
What if he turned me in before I was ready, hoping for a reward? Then again, if he knew I was about to turn myself in anyway, he wouldn’t have anything to gain by telling on me. Besides, I doubted a blacklisted mage had any loyalty to the Mage Division or the city government after getting cast out.
The young man ran a hand through his blond hair and then walked out of my sight, into the bakery’s front shop.
He was young and too handsome, but there was nothing we could do about that. He looked strong enough to protect Ella from the riffraff who were always leaving threatening notes at the bakery, and to help her with whatever chores she needed done. And if he was here, he was desperate. He would owe me.
Perfect.
Chapter 18
The mage raised a well-groomed eyebrow as I strode forward to meet him inside the bakery shop.
“I’m looking for Master Stone—is he in?” He held himself like he was seconds from stepping back out the door and walking away.
I fought to keep my delighted smile under control. “Master Stone passed away in the plague. I am his—well, I am in charge here. What do you need?”
The young mage shut the door behind him and looked around the bakery’s bare, dim shop with obvious distaste. “Master Stone and his wife … I had heard—”
“Say no more, mage.” I folded my hands together primly and tried to look harmless. “You’re in need of shelter, are you not?”
His shoulders sagged. “I’ve been cast out. Blacklisted. They sent me away with nothing but the clothes on my back. My mother said I should come here.”
I patted him on the shoulder. “You’ve come to the right place. There will only be a short interview.”
“Interview? But I thought—”
“Oh, dear. Well, we don’t shelter just any mage, you know. And there are certain responsibilities that will come along with seeking shelter at the Golden Loaf.”
He straightened his spine. “I assure you, I am able to meet whatever requirements you set before me.”
“Very good. Now, tell me why you were blacklisted from the Mage Division.”
He blanched, but after a moment of hesitant silence, he forced the terse words out. “I had an affair with my patron’s granddaughter.” Red tinged his cheeks and ears, and he hunched his shoulders almost imperceptibly, but he didn’t look away. “I’m a weak expellant mage, specializing in appearance. They said my magic wasn’t worth the trouble I caused, and when they discovered the affair, they cast me out.”
My smile faded into a scowl. I’d hoped perhaps he’d designed an unflattering dress and been cast out by his patron in a fit of vanity. An affair, at his age? He couldn’t be much older than Ella. How could I trust him to be here with her? With her green eyes, strong will, and wild, dark hair, she was far lovelier than any Procus lady.
It wasn’t as though I had any other ideas, and it was past time for me and the girls to leave her in peace. I’d have to make this work. Perhaps once he knew what kind of mage I was, he would be intimidated enough to leave Ella alone.
“I see. And can you be discrete?”
He met my eyes. “I can.”
“I have your word?”
His gaze didn’t waver. “Yes. You have my word.”
I took comfort in the certainty I found in his expression. Beyond his clear desire to survive, there was a steady beat of sincerity, the potential for loyalty. He might have been blacklisted, but he hadn’t yet been broken.
“If you accept our offer of shelter here, you’ll pay your way with labor in the bakery and help with whatever else our family needs.”
He nodded. “I understand.”
“You’ll be required to keep silent about whatever you learn here.”
He squared his jaw and nodded again.
“Won’t be a problem.”
“Then your interview is complete. You will have shelter here as long as you keep up your side of the bargain.”
His shoulders sagged, and then he frowned. “My side?”
I searched the room for inspiration, then grabbed a small clipping of fresh mint Ella had left on the bakery counter. It was now or never.
I held up the bright green clipping and let the cool scent fill my senses. The mage shifted on his feet, clearly confused. Then I unleashed my hungry power, and a moment later, the plant was nothing but a thin layer of dust on the bakery floor. I wiped my hand on my dress.
He took a step back, his eyes wide. “You can’t be— That’s impossible. You can’t have the—”
“The Touch. I can, and I do.”
Panic scrambled across his face, but he didn’t move. Was he sufficiently frightened? It seemed so.
“Don’t worry, mage. The time has come for me to turn myself in to the Asylian authorities.” I kept my voice low and willed Ella to stay in the kitchen for a few minutes longer. “My family can bear the weight of this secret no longer.”
His face softened.
Was that sympathy? I crossed my arms and continued, “When I leave, I’ll need someone trustworthy to stay here and help my stepdaughter with whatever she needs to survive … to help her move on. She doesn’t know that I’m leaving, and she won’t take it well. You’ll remain here to keep her safe and out of trouble and assist her in everything until she is able to survive on her own. When that time comes, you will leave. Go to the Badlands, or wherever else you might find a way to survive.”