I sat down on a bench just outside of the gazebo and right on the cliff. Lord, the view was just beautiful. The trees were green, the water was blue and the sky was a shade of gray that wasn't too dismal. Still, the beautiful view could not take away the bitter taste in my mouth. My competitors were awful. They were political. They weren't fair.
I couldn't help but wonder what my brothers would say to me right now; what they would do for me. The tears fell from my eyes and I couldn't help it. I sobbed, giving in to the loneliness and sad feelings that assailed me. For some reason, my father's image popped in my head, unbidden. I wondered what he would say to me and almost heard him speak back to me. "Who ever said the world was fair, Lauren? You have to work hard to get what you want. If some people are going to play dirty to get something they want, then you play dirtier."
His words, or my fantasy of what his words might be made sense. But still, it would make for a tumultuous few days. Or weeks, if I was lucky. Or unlucky. I'd been drying off the tears off of my cheeks when I heard the sound of a branch cracking. Looking back, I saw that it was Trevor.
"Oh, no," I muttered as I wiped the tears off of my face.
I didn't want him to see me right now. I didn't want him to see my like this. Was he alone? Panicked, I turned around and looked behind him.
"What are you looking for?" he asked when he stopped next to me.
I didn't see anyone, fortunately.
"A camera crew," I said as I looked up at his face.
He sighed and tilted his head.
"It's just me, Lauren."
I sighed in relief and looked back towards the water. Remember my wet face, I dried my tears some more.
"May I sit with you?"
My heart thumped at the question.
"Sure," I quietly replied.
I watched him sit down next to me out of the corner of my eye. He said nothing for a while, just looking out at the water with me.
"It's beautiful out here," I said after a few minutes.
"It sure is," he replied. He then turned his head and looked at me. "Are you okay?"
Nervously, I turned and faced him.
"It depends on who's asking. Are you asking as the host or as...yourself?"
He sighed. "There are no cameras and no microphones here, Lauren. It's just me."
I didn't know what to say to that. I was still a proud woman who had broken down before a handsome man.
"What's on your mind?" he kindly asked.
I looked out at the water again.
"My big brothers. My dad. I'm wondering what they would say to me about how things went down back there."
"What would they have said?" he prodded.
"Well," I sat up a little straighter as I spoke of them, "My brothers would have asked me whose asses they needed to kick. But my dad would have told me to suck it up and deal with the fact that life is unfair sometimes."
"Sound advice."
I turned to face him. "How would you advise me?"
I watched him smile as he kept looking out at the blue water.
"Finally. I'll tell you my opinion."
He then looked back at me. "Those jerks acted like cowards. They are scared of you. They don't want to be beat by a pretty little blonde girl."
I blinked at that. "You think I'm pretty?" I asked him.
He smiled at that. "I do."
I smiled; my first smile in a long while and looked back out towards the water. I sighed, getting back to our conversation.
"But this isn't unknown, right? This...sort of treatment happens in this competition."
"Yes. It happens. This competition is not only about shooting skills, it's about behavior. It's about strength. It isn't easy."
But I wanted it to be. I just wanted to shoot the best I could and to be respected for that. I didn't want to have to worry about group politics.
"I just want to shoot, Trevor. I don't want all of the other garbage."
"That is entirely reasonable, Lauren. But that's just not the way it works."
I turned to face him again. Darnit, he was so handsome. He wore a dark grey windbreaker that brought out the green in his eyes.
"Why did you come out here, Lauren?" he asked me in a husky whisper.
"I wanted to get away from the mansion and of all of those liars. I don't know who to believe. I don't know who to trust. I thought I could trust Suzy, but I don't know that for sure. Maybe she's spreading stories about..."
Thinking about what I was about to reveal my face flushed and my eyes widened. Quickly, I turned my face back to the water to try to compose myself.
"Spreading stories about what, Lauren?"
Nervously, I swallowed.
"Forget I said that."
"I will not," he replied.
Suddenly, I watched as he slid closer to me on the stone bench. I felt heat and desire come off of me in waves. I swore that I could feel the heat coming off of his body too.
"Lauren, talk to me." He said.
I then felt his warm hand cover mine. Oh my God! He was holding my hand. Forcing courage into myself, I turned to face him. His face was less than sixteen inches away from mine!
"I forgot...what I was talking about," I stammered.
He looked at my lips and replied.
"Stories. You worried about stories being spread. What stories?"
Crap, he remembered. I licked my lips and replied.
"Stories about...me and you. Like maybe I had an unfair advantage. Like maybe you were feeding me information."
I watched as his nostrils flared and his eyes widened. He then turned to face the water.
"Those...jerks," he said.
Instantly, I felt contrite for dragging him into my garbage.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I am making things harder on you."
He turned to face me again. I could tell that he was concentrating or at least thinking very hard.
"What are you thinking about?" I asked him.
He looked from my eyes to my mouth and then back again.
"Do you have a man back home, Lauren?"
Instantly, my nipples hardened and my mouth watered...among other places. I shook my head.
"No."
He nodded at that and kept looking at me.
"Do you want to know what I am thinking about?" he asked me in a sexy, husky voice.
"Yes." Lord. Did I ever!
He nodded again.
"I'm thinking that maybe I need to substantiate the stories going on about me and you."
Oh my God!
"How?" I whispered, looking at his own very sexy lips.
"Come here and find out," he whispered back.
I closed my eyes as I met his handsome face halfway. My breath stole away from my lungs as soon as I felt his lips on mine. They were strong, warm, and so soft. He kissed me once, twice, three times before gently prying my lips open with his own. I must have moaned or something towards that affect because his arms wrapped around me and pulled me closer as his tongue touched my own. I touched him back. I tasted him back.
All I could taste was Trevor. All I could feel was Trevor. All I could smell was the scent of his aftershave, his deodorant and of some other musky, male smell that I hoped to identify as his own. Gone was the gazebo. Gone were the lake and the evergreen trees. Gone were the bench and the gray skies. Gone were the mansion and the contestants. All that was present was me, Trevor and the feeling of our new union - our intimate union. If I could have painted the air around us for a portrait, I would have painted us red - a red turning into black as nothing existed beyond our bodies at that moment.
A little while later, I heard a voice telling me that I was moving too fast. That Trevor's mouth on mine was too hungry; that his hands squeezing on my hips and my back were too impatient. I didn't want to listen to that voice. Then Arnold and Tim's voice replaced that one. They said, "Slow the hell down!"
Them I listened to. I gently kissed his mouth once before gently pulling away from him.
I looked into his heavy lidded eyes and stared at his slightly swollen mouth. He was breathing hard. He still looked hungry and Lord help me, I wanted to give him the thing he hungered for. He pulled his arms off of me before taking a deep breath and looking out at the water. I let him speak first.
"Lauren. Oh God, Lauren. I'm sorry -”
I placed my hand on his knee. "I'm not sorry, Trevor."
He looked back at me and then at my mouth again.
"Good. Because I was lying. I'm not sorry. But I did not...mean; I didn't expect things to get so hot so quickly."
I felt my face flush. "Me neither."
He covered my hand with his own and half-smiled.
"I want you, Lauren. I'm going to have you."
I wanted to yell, 'Yes, Please!' But I didn't. I was a good girl. Or I had been until I met Trevor Garrett.
"I'm...I'm not fast, Trevor," I said with a blush.
He smiled at that and squeezed my hand.
"I'm glad to hear it. It will make me pine for you all the more."
That made me smile and bashfully look down. He put his arm around me and pulled me closer to him. I almost moaned out loud in pleasure. The feel of his warm thigh next to mine coupled with the feeling of his chest next to mine was divine. The feeling of his hand on my shoulder was great. I loved his contact. I loved feeling him on me. I hoped he felt the same about me.
After staring out at the water for a couple of minutes he spoke.
"You want my advice?"
I smiled without looking up at his face.
"Which Trevor am I speaking to?"
He chuckled and it was a warm sound that felt like warm balm on my skin. I turned to him as I felt him staring at my own face.
"I'm only one person. When I'm around the others and the cameras, I'll have to act professional. But know that in my eyes all I see is you and the desire to have you all alone."
Oh, Lord. He weaved his words like a spell around me. Suddenly, I felt a touch of magic too as I saw the future. I was going to have sex with this man. I was going to make love to this man. I would be his lover, I knew. How soon was anyone's guess, though. I forced myself to look from his lips to his eyes.
"What advice do you have for me?"
"Make things easy on yourself. Be hard. Be tough. Don't give up an inch. If there is anything viewers hate, it's someone who waffles."
"You mean, just stay angry?"
He nodded at that.
"Yeah. Don't waste your energy trying to get these guys to warm up to you. You might actually have better chance at gaining votes if you are consistent. People respect strength. Give them that."
I sighed, feeling oddly relieved. It would feel good to know have to perform for the people I now detested.
"One more thing. I think that you are right about not trusting Suzy."
"What?"
My stomach dropped at those words. I had a nagging feeling, but I didn't want to be right. I wanted her to be my friend. Or at least someone I could trust.
"I overheard her tell one of the fellas that she had "some information about her roommate."
That stung so much that I closed my eyes.
"That almost hurts, Trevor."
He sighed and touched my face. Immediately, I was comforted.
"Not that I told her much."
"What did you tell her?"
"I told her that you were very handsome."
Trevor's face lit up at the compliment.
"Come here," he said.
Dipping his head to mine, he gave me another kiss. It was another toe-curler, for sure. Still, he kept it almost chaste. He was the one to pull back first.
"I'm an honorable man, but I should not be pushed," he said with a rakish grin.
The thought of not being able to be alone with him again saddened me. It was a real chance though. My face must have fallen.
"Hey. What's going on?"
"Just thinking that I might be eliminated tomorrow. I might be heading on a plane back to Texas."
Trevor shook his head at that.
"No. You can't let that happen."
"Well, I don't want it to happen but it still might," I softly said.
He was insistent.
"No. You get out there and think about how much you want this competition," he said with fire in his voice. "You get out there and think about how you are going to send Bob home. Visualize it. Do it."
It was an interesting feeling, getting pressure from the host of the show to succeed. I pondered that for a few seconds.
"Lauren. I want to take you for a walk tomorrow night where no one can see us. I want to talk to you. I want to hold your hand. I want to kiss your lips. I can't do that if you get on a plane."
His hand came up and held the side of my face as he looked down at me.
"Then...I will want to do more than just touch your hand and kiss your mouth." Oh Lord. I was wet all over again. "Stick around. Fight for it."
Done and done.
"Okay," I whispered back.
He smiled at me.
"I'm going to need more than an 'okay.' Maybe it's self-serving, but I can't have you getting on a plane just yet."
Oh, Lord. I would agree to do anything for my lover, or my soon-to-be-lover.
"I'll take him out," I said on a whisper.
"That's my girl," he said back.
He kissed me one more time. I then found the strength to untangle myself from his limbs and get up.
"I have to get back."
He stood up next to me and put his hand on me in such a way that glued my fleeing feet to the ground. His touch sent warning signals in my heart and mind that maybe, just maybe, he had too much of a hold on me.
"Go on. Go back. Tomorrow night, after you finish Bob off, meet me here. Same time."
Nervously, I bit at my lip.
"What if cameras spot me leaving? What if someone follows me?"
He shook his head and brought his other hand to my face.
"No. I've got control over what makes it on film and what does not. They might see you leave, but you will not be filmed doing anything uncompromising. I promise you that."
Time to go, Lauren, my mind told me. I kissed his mouth quickly before turning around and leaving him without another word.
My feet slammed on the trail as I ran back to the mansion as I fled away from the person Trevor was making me into; the person that I wanted Trevor to make me into. When I saw the house, I took a minute to compose myself. Once I was sure that my cheeks weren't flushed and that my lips didn't look so red, I went into the house. Or at least my body did - my mind and my desire were still with Trevor Garrett.
Chapter 13
The one thing to calm my racing pulse and desire was the door to my bedroom. In there was Suzy. A woman who I thought might be my friend.
"She's your competition, Lauren," I whispered to myself.
Steeling myself, I opened the door to my bedroom and walked in. The pretty brunette was sitting on her bed reading a magazine; she set it down and smiled as soon as she saw me.
"Where have you been?"
I stared at her for three seconds before walking to my side of the room and removing my jacket. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched as she nervously began to shake her foot. Apparently, my silence discomfited her.
"I was out for a walk," I replied in a tone that welcomed no further inquiries.
Thinking about what kind of impression I wanted to make, I removed my makeup bag out of my suitcase and set it on the dresser. I was staying - she needed to see that.
"Are you still upset about what happened earlier?"
Damnit. She had to push, didn't she? I then remembered her occupation. She was probably very good at pushing. Fine; I'd give her something to digest.
"Actually, the cold air cleaned things out for me pretty good. I'm no longer upset about anything. This is a competition. Everyone is here to win. Me included."
With that, I grabbed my iPod and ear buds and sat d
own on my bed. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched as she stared at me from her bed and knew that she wanted to ask more questions. She gave up though, and went back to her magazine.
The next morning, I woke up feeling a bit less unsettled and more determined. I had my feelings hurt yesterday evening, but at least now I knew where I stood with all of them. Even with my currently snoring roommate. Definitely with the show's host, I thought with a blush as I recalled last night's whispered words, careful touches and long kisses.
Pushing that from my thoughts, I got up and quietly made my bed. After that, I grabbed my makeup case and a change of clothing before going to the bathroom. I wasn't in the mood of having any exchanges with Suzy, as I was still stinging from her betrayal.
Downstairs, I made myself some breakfast - a ham and cheese omelet and some biscuits along with a big glass of orange juice. Soon, I heard footsteps behind me. I cringed inside as I wondered who it might be and how I might have to perform before them. Turning around, I saw that it was Max Allen - the man who would probably win the competition.
"Good Morning," I preemptively said.
He nodded and gave me a half smile. "You'll have to wait for me to have a cup of coffee before I can return that sentiment."
I couldn't help but smile over his honesty. I stood there in the kitchen looking outside at the rain.
"Nine months out of the year. Rain, rain, rain and more rain."
I turned around and faced him. He had a cup full of coffee in his hand so I felt safe to socialize with him.
"Are you from here?"
He shook his head. "No. I'm from Indiana. But I used to be stationed at a submarine base only a few minutes away from here. It's beautiful, but it rains all the damned time."
I nodded and looked out the window again.
"Yes. It makes for such beauty, though."
I could feel him staring at me as I looked outside.
"You have a target painted on your back, Miss McCoy," I heard him say.
I sighed. I really did not want to have this kind of conversation so early in the morning.
"I know that, Max," I replied as I turned to face him.
Nice Shootin' Tex Page 11