Nice Shootin' Tex

by Cyndia Rios-Myers

  Work was alright in the weeks that followed. We were staying busy as always. My dad had come up with a few new hog trap ideas that were winners, which meant more pigs and subsequently more money. Arnold and Mara had gotten closer which was nice to see. I'd also noticed that Laura had stopped drinking alcohol, but didn't say anything about it. Privately, I was so happy for her.

  Interestingly enough, I was no longer envious of any of them and their relationships anymore. I wished them all the best because I loved them. One morning, I even asked my dad about meeting someone new. We'd been walking down a windy hog trail by a pond when he turned and looked at me like I was crazy.

  "What are you talking about, Lauren?"

  I blushed and shoved some of my blond hair behind my ear.

  "Meeting someone dad. Have you thought about meeting someone?"

  "No, Lauren. I haven't. Why would you think such a thing?"

  "I don't mean it as anything bad about ma, but she's not here anymore. She loved you and I think that she would want you to be happy."

  My dad shook his head and kept walking.

  "You don't know that, Lauren. No one knows what your mom would think except for her. She ain't here. There's no telling what she would want," he quietly added.

  Oh. But my dad's words were telling. I thought he was lonely.

  "I'm not trying to get in your business pa, and I don't mean to disrespect you or mom's memory. But I just want you to know that I think it's okay if you meet someone."

  He half laughed at that.

  "Well, thank you, Miss McCoy. It's nice to know that my daughter gives me permission to do something," he snidely added.

  I rolled my eyes and wondered why I bothered. I pushed to go ahead of him, but he stopped me with his hand on my arm. He swallowed and nodded as I looked at him.

  "Thank you, Lauren," he said in a sober voice.

  I smiled at him and squeezed his shoulder before walking ahead of him. I was able to hide my smile from him which was good. It was also good to know that someone was ready to move on.

  The next three weeks bought no word from Trevor or from anyone at the competition. I was a functioning adult. I was working and socializing with my family. But still, the grief over losing him was still so very real.

  I did a lot of painting. I painted strawberries. I painted tall evergreen trees. I painted myself lying naked on a bed of green grass with nothing to cover my privates, but smiling at something that was just out of sight of the viewer. That one was a hard one. I cried the whole time I painted it. A week later I received a text message on my phone. There weren't any words attached to the message, but there was a picture. Looking at it, I saw that it was a painting mounted on a very blue wall. My eyes welled up as soon as I zoomed in on it and saw that it was my strawberry painting. I sat down on a chair in my dining room as I cried and stared at my phone. Looking at the phone number that sent the message, I saw that it came from a blocked number. I wasn't angry though; the painting was on a big wall all by itself. Nothing stood next to it, above it, or below it.

  "You stupid man," I said as I sobbed with the phone on my forehead.

  The text message was a setback, unfortunately. I dragged at painting. I dragged at my familial relationships. I dragged at my work. My dad brought it up a week later.

  "What in the heck is wrong with you, Lauren?"

  The trail had been quiet for a while. The dogs were quiet as they walked before us. Even the horses we rode on were quiet.

  "What? Did I miss something?"

  My dad scoffed and shook his head.

  "The outside of you is fine. The inside of you is wrong, Lauren. Something's been different about you since you came back from that shootin' competition. It's like you aren't completely back yet."

  Oh, that. My grief was so part of me now that I barely even noticed it anymore.

  "What happened over there?" he softly asked.

  I looked at him and saw that he really wanted to know. I bit my lip and nodded.

  "I'll tell you, daddy. I fell in love with a man over there. We were in a relationship during that time. He didn't want me after the competition. He still doesn't want me. But I still think of him. I still wonder if he thinks of me. I still love him."

  I absentmindedly wiped the tears off of my face. I barely even noticed them anymore these days. My dad sighed.

  "I hate hearing this Lauren. I hate to hear that my kid was hurt. I hate to hear that you are hurting. But what can I do? You are an adult - a grown woman."

  I sighed, feeling bad that I made my dad feel bad. I said nothing.

  "Tell me more. You wouldn't have fallen this hard for a man if he hadn't reciprocated at all."

  My face flushed.

  "Ugh...How much do you want to know, Daddy?"

  His face scrunched up in a look of disgust.

  "I don't wanna hear about the salient parts! I want to know if he led you on. I want to know why it is that he said you could not go on."

  Oh. That I could talk about. So I told him. He listened in without commenting. It was nice. He didn't say anything for a few minutes after I'd finished speaking.

  "Well, are you sorry?"

  I shook my head and took a deep breath.

  "No. Not at all. Just very sad."

  He nodded at that.

  "Well, that's good. Life's too short for regret."

  I sighed, relieved that he didn't think me foolish for falling for an unattainable man.

  "You know, your mom was not my first choice."

  My blonde ponytail whipped the side of my face as I quickly turned my head to him in shock.

  "Huh?" I inarticulately questioned.

  He didn't say anything for a minute or so, just kept cantering as he followed our lead dog.

  "It was during my four years in the Army. Her name was Jennifer. She was a soldier too. I fell hard; so did she. I wanted to make her my wife and she wanted to stay in the Army to make it a career."

  I stared at him in shock. My jaw was wide open. Still, I said nothing.

  "She transferred from our base to one in Germany. The letters came pretty regular until they stopped coming. I thought that maybe she would change her mind, but she didn't. We broke up."

  I closed my mouth and stared at the trail in front of us. I tried to imagine what Jennifer looked like. I tried to imagine what my mom would make of the story. Because I was sure that momma didn't know about it; my dad was a very private man.

  "Took me a while to get over her. I got out of the Army and met your mother in San Anton while I was there for some Veteran's Affair stuff. You know the rest."

  I let the enormity of my dad's revelation hit me. He'd been in love with someone else before my mother. He had wanted to marry another woman.

  "Were you sorry?"

  "About what?"

  "About...anything."

  He sighed.

  "I was heartbroken over Jennifer for a while, Lauren. But I wasn't sorry. Never was I sorry. Don't you be sorry either. Let it hurt for a while and then move on. Also, tell your brothers; they love you like crazy and can help you out with this stuff."

  "Okay, Daddy."

  "Alright. Enough on that topic."

  Enough indeed. I had a whole lot of thinking to do.

  The next day I was at out with Laura having a "Girl's Day." We went and got our hair and nails done and were eating lunch at the Applebee's in the next town over.

  "I wasn't completely honest with you on how the competition went, Laura."

  "Oh?" she said as she set her plastic menu down.

  "I was in a relationship with someone for the entire time I was there."

  Her eyes widened in shock.

  "What? With who?"

  I blushed and smiled. "The host. Trevor Garrett."

  "Oh. My. God. Oh. My. God!!!!" she squealed.

  I could help but laugh at her excitement.

  "Okay. Tell me everything. Start from the beginning. As in the first time you gazed at him across
a crowded floor."

  I shook my head at that.

  "I can't do that. It still hurts too much," I softly admitted.

  Her brow furrowed at that.

  "Oh. Did you fall for him?" she gently asked.

  I nodded my head and smiled as I dried a tear with a napkin. She reached over the table and squeezed my hand.

  "Did he break your heart Lauren?"

  I nodded again but didn't smile.

  "I'm so sorry, Lauren. Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

  "I don't know. I told Arnold. I told Dad even. I guess that I just didn't want to be a pitiful mess in front of everyone."

  "I understand. But we are family. That is what family is for."

  I smiled. "I know. That's why I'm so glad to be home."

  We met up with Tim, Arnold and Mara to shoot some pool at In Cahoots later that evening. I told Tim and Mara then. Mara looked a little upset when I told her. I wondered if maybe she was miffed with me for not telling her sooner. Ah well; I'd put that fire out later. Tim shook his handsome head as he stared at me.

  "I could have told you that guy was trouble."

  "What do you think I told her?" said Arnold.

  I threw my hands up in frustration at that.

  "The truth is that you guys don't even know him. He was never mean. He was never cruel."

  Tim still shook his head.

  "But he is also very pretty."

  "Indeed," added Arnold.

  "So he's attractive? So what?!"

  Laura nodded with me in agreement.

  "Pretty boys are used to getting what they want. They are good at getting what they want," said Arnold.

  "What does that even mean?"

  "It means that he is used to taking, Lauren. He is a taker. He was probably a nice guy, but that didn't stop him from seducing you when he knew that you would want more," said Tim in a kinder voice.

  I couldn't argue with him there. I hated that.

  "Great. So you were right. You both were right. You two have all of the answers to anything."

  "We don't mean it like that, Lauren," said Arnold.

  "Whatever. I'm gonna go get a drink."

  I did just that. Mara followed me. I sat down on the stool next to hers as we had ourselves a drink right there at the bar.

  "Do I have to berate you for not telling me sooner?"

  "Could we please skip that part?"

  She nodded and smiled. "Okay. Because you are still hurting, I can let that go."

  She still stared at me with a small smile.

  "What?"

  "It must have really been something. Here we are three months after you came back and you still seem so hurt."

  Tears rushed into my eyes just then. Trust it to my best friend to know how to cut to the heart of the matter. I nodded as I dried my eyes with a bar napkin.

  "It was," I simply said. "But it was so worth it. I'd do it all again."

  Just then her eyes welled up.

  "What is it, Mara?" I asked.

  She looked so upset; suddenly my tears dried.

  "I thought it would be that way with Arnold; it's not."

  Comprehension dawned on me just then. I thought that maybe she had been avoiding the ranch lately. Arnold seemed to be a bit down too.

  "What do you mean?"

  She dried the edges of her eyes before speaking again.

  "I thought that I was crazy about him. I could have sworn I was. But I'm not. And now I've met someone else."

  She started sobbing then. It took me a moment to decide who I should be – her friend or my brother's sister. I decided on the friend part – for that moment.

  "Oh, Mara. Why didn't you tell me?"

  "Because he's your brother. Because he's wonderful. Because I'm the bad guy!"

  I reached out and squeezed her hand.

  "What does Arnold know?"

  She shook her head. "There's nothing to know. I haven't done anything with...the other guy yet."

  "But does he sense that something's going on?"

  She nodded.

  "He keeps asking me but I don't know what to tell him."

  "The truth. Just tell him the truth."

  Mara nodded at that.

  "But what is the truth? Who is this guy?"

  "He works on the ranch next to mine. I've seen him a million times at the feed store, probably. But he got a flat tire a few weeks ago out on Cooper Road. I stopped to help him." Mara's face blossomed into a smile just then. "And then he opened his mouth and talked to me. It was like the sky opened and angels started singing, Lauren."

  "Oh, wow," I said on a sigh.

  She nodded. "I know. We exchanged numbers. He calls me every night and we just talk. We talk for hours on end sometimes. I think that I'm in love."

  I reached out and squeezed her hand.

  "I am so happy for you," I said with a smile.

  She started crying even harder then.

  "Really? Why? What about Arnold?"

  "I'm your best friend. I am happy for my best friend. I know that you are a good person and that you don't mean to hurt anyone."

  She dried her tears.

  "I don't. Arnold is great...but Ted - Ted is who I want."

  I smiled at her again.

  "Then tell Arnold. He'll hurt, but he would want to know."

  She nodded.

  "I know. Your poor brother."

  "He's got me. You worry about you, okay?"

  "Thank you."

  Chapter 19

  I guess that Mara told Arnold that night because the next day at the ranch he looked withdrawn and tired. I tried to talk to him about it once, but he raised his hand in a stopping motion.

  "No. I'm not ready to talk about this. Not to you."

  I nodded accepting that. Not that it mattered. He walked away and retired to the barn. Great. Everyone was heart-heavy now.

  Dad had had about enough of all the moping, he said about a week after that. We were on horseback on our own ranch, checking the fences when he spoke up.

  "If I see one more down face on either one of you, I am docking your pay."

  Tim looked at us in shock.

  "Don't dock my pay. I'm chipper."

  "I don't mean you; I mean Lauren and Arnold. Blondes," he muttered as he shook his head. "You guys are so sensitive - just like your mother was."

  Feeling embarrassed, I straightened up in my saddle.

  "If I see you guys mope again today, you are losing $20 a day. I mean it too. I am the majority shareholder of this business and I can do that. So cheer the hell up!"

  He then took off in front of us. It wasn't the pep talk we were looking for, but it did alter our mood. I was amused. I was also mildly touched that my dad cared. Maybe a little offended too; I didn't think I was a sensitive blonde.

  At first, Arnold was embarrassed at being chastised by Pa, so he got serious and straightened up in his saddle. About an hour into our ride, though, he started to slump again. I got his attention.

  "Pay up," I mouthed as I rubbed my fingers in a motion that symbolized money.

  "Shut up," he mouthed back.

  "Make me," I mouthed back and then stuck my tongue out at him.

  He rolled his eyes and tried to ignore me.

  "Mop head," I whispered, using the insult that had driven him crazy as a child.

  That was it. He then beat the reins on his horse's rear before coming after me. Laughing, I sucked at my teeth making my own horse take off. Unfortunately, Arnold was the better horseman. Still, I gave a good chase.

  "You two had better slow down!" yelled my dad.

  That really made me laugh then. For the first time in months, my heart felt light. I slowed down and surrendered to Arnold.

  "I'm sorry," I said as I raised my hands. "I didn't want daddy to dock your pay."

  He rolled his eyes at me and dried his brow with his bandanna.

  "I know. I'm not ready for chipper, though."

  We then began to canter our horses nex
t to each other.

  "I think I am. I'm willing to work at it now."

  He smiled at me.

  "Good for you, Lauren. Hopefully I'll meet you there soon."

  A week later, I was sitting on the desk with my legs propped up when my dad entered the office with a confused look on his face. Arnold was seated at the other desk where he was ordering supplies online.

  "You alright, Pa?"

  "Yeah. Did you give our business card to someone out of state recently?"

  I shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe. Why?"

  "Because there is a Daniel Serrano fellow standing in our front yard wanting to do business with us."

  It only took me a nanosecond to match the name to the face. Daniel Serrano had been the hot Apache Indian/weapons expert that came to help us out on American Sharpshooter.

  "He's here?" I loudly asked with widened eyes.

  I then tried to quickly get off of my seat, but too late remembered that my boot clad feet were crossed at the ankles on top of the desk. I went crashing to the floor on my chair with a loud banging sound. Dad stared at me like I was crazy while Arnold stopped what he was doing to stare down at me. Quickly standing up and righting the chair, I turned to face Arnold.

  "How do I look? Do I look bad?"

  "You look like a psychotic cheerleader. What is up with you?"

  I smoothed my ponytail and dusted the seat of my pants. I then took a deep breath and held it before releasing it.

  "Laura? Who is this fellow?"

  I looked at my dad with widened eyes. No way was I getting into that right now.

  "He's waiting, dad. I'll tell you later."

  I then walked out of the office and out of the barn, headed to the front of the house. Suddenly, I saw him. He was standing next to Tim as they talked. He then saw me and smiled. My knees turned to jelly.

  He looked so handsome! He wasn't wearing anything that was show-stopping, as he only wore a brown t-shirt and jeans. But Lord, the way he wore those jeans was something else. His short black hair looked great. His copper colored skin made me warm in my nether regions. The corded muscles on his arms made me want to see more. I tried to stay composed when I finally got within six feet of him.