Off Chance

by Sawyer Bennett

  Understanding sweeps across her face and she reaches across the counter to grab my hand. Giving me a squeeze, she says, "You are welcome here anytime. You're practically like family to us."

  "You treat me like family. It's... comforting," I say in a rare moment of vulnerability. This is only my third time in her house but she and Nick have made me feel utterly comfortable in their home.

  "Flynn told me you're not coming to St. John with us for the wedding. I wish you'd change your mind."

  "I'd love to, Nora, but it's just not something I can afford right now. Besides, it should just be family."

  "You know Nix and Em aren't doing it this way to be excluding of others. It's just happening so quick that they know most people won't be able to come or won't want to attend a destination wedding. They're going to have a huge wedding party sometime in the Spring."

  "I know," I assure her. "It's not that... it truly is about the money. It's just not within my budget."

  "But Flynn said--"

  Holding my hand up, I say, "No, Nora. I'm not accepting money from Flynn. Now, I'm going to eat another piece of pie. Do you want one?"

  Nora shakes her head and takes a sip of her coffee, thankfully dropping the subject. I grab a plate and cut a piece of pumpkin pie, foregoing the whipped topping.

  As I go to take my first bite, Nora surprises the shit out of me. "You know... Flynn never brings that girl he's dating over. I've been on him to do it but he always has one excuse after another."

  My fork is poised halfway to my mouth, which is halfway open as well. I can't think of a damn thing to say.

  "Do you have any idea why he wouldn't want me to meet her?" Nora whispers, sneaking a glance at the doorway so we won't be overheard. "Is she like an ogre or something?"

  I lower my fork back down, completely uninterested in pie right now. "I'm not sure. I mean... I haven't met her either."

  Flynn has always liked to make fun of the fact his mom is dying for him to meet someone special, so I sort of expect her face to fall over my proclamation and inability to provide her with insider information.

  Instead, she smiles at me conspiratorially. "I bet I know why neither one of us has met her. I bet he secretly likes someone else and he's just waiting for that woman to notice him."

  Thank God I had not taken a bite of pie or I would have choked on it. Is Nora making a wild-ass guess or does she know something that I don't? Has Flynn said something to her, or is she seeing things that I am not seeing clearly?

  These thoughts flood through my mind and I mentally try to remember every conversation I've had with Flynn in the last few weeks. Does he still feel something for me? Do I still have a chance?

  I'm careful when I say, "I don't know. He seems pretty focused on dating Jennifer."

  Nora just looks at me thoughtfully and I wait for her to tell me I'm wrong.

  Please tell me I'm wrong.

  "What are you two doing?"

  I spin around with guilty color flooding my face to find Flynn leaning up against the doorway, his arms crossed casually over his chest. How much of our conversation had he heard?

  "Nothing," I say hastily, sounding like I had just robbed Fort Knox or something.

  "Actually, I was just asking Rowan why I haven't met your girlfriend yet. I surmised that maybe you had secret feelings for someone else but Rowan seems to think you're pretty into this girl."

  Oh. My. God.

  Does Nora not have a filter on her mouth? I can't believe she just outed us on that personal, and somewhat inappropriate, speculation we were doing about Flynn.

  I raise my eyes to Flynn and he's looking at me intently. "Is that right?"

  "Yes," Nora continues, even though Flynn's eyes keep me pinned in place. "So what's the deal, Flynn? Why don't you bring her over to meet me?"

  After a painfully long moment, Flynn turns his eyes from me over to his mother. "Tell you what... how about I bring Jennifer over for dinner next weekend when I have off?"

  Just hearing those words causes my throat to close up and my stomach to bottom out. I thought for a moment there Flynn was going to confirm his mother's suspicions and confess he still had feelings for me. But he apparently has feelings for Jennifer and it must be getting serious if he's going to bring her to meet Nora.

  "You're kidding?" Nora asks, and I notice she has her eyes narrowed at Flynn.

  "Why would I kid?" Flynn asks with a smirk, although he's not looking at his mom... he's staring back at me. "You just asked me to bring her over, and I said I would. That's what you want, right?"

  Nora starts stuttering. "Well... yes, but... I mean... I just thought..."

  Flynn turns away from me and looks at Nora again. "Look, Mom... Rowan and I need to head back. I have to get up really early tomorrow." He steps in and gives her a kiss on the top of her head.

  Nora looks as confused as I feel.

  What a fucking day!

  I sit here in the emergency room waiting for the doctor, and I'm unbelievably annoyed that I'm even here. But the Chief wasn't brooking any nonsense today, and I didn't have it in me to take an ass chewing, so here I am.

  At least I'm not the only one suffering under a medical microscope. There were three of us caught in the apartment when the flashover occurred, and three of us were sent scrambling backward to avoid the 1100-degree heat. In addition to the steam burns at the top of my chest, which aren't very bad in my estimation, I also wrenched my left shoulder against a doorjamb as we were making our escape.

  Stupid fuck!

  But I'm not telling the doc that. A shoulder injury will get me sent home on medical leave for a good month at least, and no way am I having that. I'd die of boredom.

  I will have to admit, the burns are starting to hurt like a motherfucker, and when the nurse comes in and offers me something for the pain, I go ahead and take her up on it. I might be a tough son of a bitch most times, but burns tend to be in a different realm of pain level.

  A shot of Morphine five minutes later and I'm feeling pretty good. The doctor comes in and examines me, telling me what I already know. I have two second-degree steam burns--each about the size of a quarter--from the flashover. They'll require dressing changes and an antibiotic ointment. I'm put out of work for one week and told to return for a re-evaluation, but that they could take three to four weeks to heal.

  Well, shit! I probably should have told him about my shoulder then, but the Morphine sort of chased that pain away, so whatever.

  His last words to me were that I'd need to get a responsible adult to take me home because of the narcotic medications they had given me. Just great! I don't feel like waiting for my parents or Nix to come get me, and Tim is back on duty at the Station, so that's a no-go.

  Which leaves me to dial the one person who I really want to pick me up and who would be my first choice anyway, but I put her at the bottom because... well, because damn it, I'm trying to maintain a respectful distance from her.

  Rowan picks up on the second ring. "Hey, Flynn-ster. What's shakin'?"

  Her voice is so cheerful and happy, it makes me internally sigh. I imagine the way she looks and I feel like I could drift away with her beautiful face in my mind. It would be easy because my eyes feel so heavy.

  "Flynn? Are you there?"

  What? Oh, right... I need a ride.

  "Hey, beautiful. I need you to pick me up." Damn, but my tongue feels thick and I'm not quite sure I even understood what I just said.

  "Oh my God," Rowan says with a groan. "You got drunk on duty?"

  "What?" I ask in confusion. "I'm not drunk. High, probably, but not drunk."

  "Flynn, what the hell is going on? I'm freaking out here."

  I snicker, because this seems pretty funny. "I'm at the hospital. They gave me a shot of something but I can't leave unless someone can take me home."

  "The hospital?" She practically screeches and I have to hold the phone away from my ear. When I put it back, she's in the middle of a sentence and I struggle t
o catch up. "...but I'm going to have to take your car so you better not be pissed. Now where are you?"

  Now I'm confused. "What about my car? What's wrong with it?"

  "Nothing's wrong with it. I'm going to have to drive it there. Just tell me where you are."

  "I'm at Brookdale."

  I think.

  "Are you okay? What happened?"

  "I'm fine," I assure her, and it's true. Not feeling any pain right now. "Just come get me and I'll tell you all about it when you get here."

  "Okay... I'm leaving now."

  "Thanks... and Rowan?"

  "Yeah?"

  "You know I still think you're the one for me, right?"

  There's no sound from her end, and I think she may have hung up, so I let my eyes start to close. Just as I feel myself drifting off, I think I hear her say, "I hope so."

  Throbbing pain wakes me up and my eyelids feel like they're glued shut. With a solid effort, I open them and stare around, confused. I expect to see the Station sleeping quarters, but I'm in my bed... in my apartment... and I have no clue how I got here.

  Then the memories come rushing back and I remember the fire and my trip to the hospital. I have vague memories of Rowan coming to get me, and maybe I'm delusional, but I think she may have been crying when she showed up.

  The rest of the night flashes in bits and pieces. Her buckling me into my car, helping me take my shirt off, sitting beside my bed and holding my hand.

  I gingerly poke at the bandages on my chest and suck in my breath when the pain ratchets up. Rolling off the bed, I stand up and look down to see I'm naked. A very distinct memory assaults me and I'm quite positive I insisted to Rowan that I sleep naked, demanding that she help me out of all of my clothes.

  Oh, God. What in the hell did they give me at the hospital?

  I pull on a pair of sweatpants and head toward the bathroom so I can take the monster of all pisses. My bladder feels like it's going to explode.

  Just as I step into the hallway, Rowan's bedroom door flies open. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

  I smile because she's standing before me in just my t-shirt. The one I'd given her to wear months ago when she first came to stay with me. Normally she wears some shorts with it, but this morning, I'm treated to miles of gloriously bare legs with the hem just teasing me short of her panties.

  "I'm good. Just going to the bathroom."

  "Are you in pain?"

  "Actually, yeah. I'd love some Ibuprofen if you don't mind."

  Rowan turns to head into the kitchen. "They actually gave you some stronger stuff."

  "No," I call to her. "I don't want that shit. Just Ibuprofen."

  She looks back at me in astonishment. "Are you sure?"

  I grin at her. "Yup. Seems it makes me do strange things... like demanding that you strip me naked."

  Rowan actually blushes scarlet. "Remember that, do you?"

  "Bits and pieces."

  She gives me a smile. "Well, come into the kitchen when you're done and let me check the wounds. The doctor told me what to look for when changing the bandages."

  After I finish my business, I head into the kitchen, scratching my stomach and trying to stifle a yawn. I feel so groggy and need caffeine immediately.

  I find Rowan bent over Capone's water bowl to pick it up, and I'm treated with a boner-inducing view of her ass barely hanging into a pair of white, lace panties. Fuck, I'm going to pitch a tent right here in the kitchen so I quickly avert my eyes and head to the coffee pot. I concentrate on the burns on my chest, and I let the throb of pain invade my senses, which completely works to help me avoid embarrassing myself.

  Rowan steps up to the sink and fills Capone's bowl. "Why don't you sit at the table and let me look at the burns?"

  I see a cup of coffee already poured with two Ibuprofen laying beside it. I pick them up, toss them in the back of my throat, and chase it with the hot coffee, which burns like hell going down.

  Taking a seat at the table, I sip at my coffee a bit more carefully while Rowan feeds Capone. When she's done, she washes her hands in the sink and quickly dries them with some paper towels. She steps up to me and moves right in between my legs with no hesitation. Memories of that first time we kissed, with her standing between my legs, floods over me. I try like hell to avert my eyes so I'm not staring straight at her breasts as they sway softly under the cotton shirt when she moves.

  Focus on the pain, Flynn. Avert the hard on.

  "Lean back," she says softly. "I'm going to take the bandages off and put some ointment on."

  "Maybe I should take a shower first."

  Rowan shakes her head. "No, let's be careful today with it. Bath is all you get so we can keep the bandages dry."

  I grumble because I hate taking baths. Our tub is large enough to barely bathe a child, much less my overgrown frame. But I comply with her request and lean back in the chair, tilting my head back slightly so she can get a good look.

  Carefully peeling the bandages back, I silently will the Ibuprofen to work faster, and bring the throb down from a roar to a dull ache. When the first bandage comes off, the cool air at first feels good, then the pain starts to intensify. I grit my teeth and stare at the ceiling, hoping I don't cry like a little baby in front of her.

  The second bandage comes off and Rowan bends over to look at the wounds. "They actually look pretty good." Her finger comes out and lightly touches the good skin around the burn, but even that hurts and I suck air in between my teeth.

  "Quit being a baby," she says.

  I don't say anything but let Nurse Ratchet continue her ministrations.

  "One of them is blistering pretty badly, but right now there are no open wounds," she comments. "The doctor told me what to look for, so I think you're good right now."

  "How big are they?" I ask, because I can't get a good look at them since they sit right below my collarbone in the middle of my chest.

  She holds her hand up and touches her forefinger to her thumb, making a circle. "Not too big... probably like this."

  I nod and watch with dubious eyes as she now advances on me with a tube of cream. "What's that?"

  "An antibiotic ointment I have to put on, and then I'll put on clean bandages."

  Rowan squeezes a dab of cream onto her forefinger and leans forward. She touches the burn softly and starts to smear it in a circle. The pain spikes even though her touch is gentle and I jerk, issuing a curse from my mouth. "Fuck, that hurts."

  She stands back and looks at me with affection and amusement. "God, I can't believe what a sissy you are."

  "Well, damn Rowan... you have a touch that is about as soft as a concrete cinderblock."

  Rowan leans back down with another dab of cream to torture my other wound. "Quit complaining or you can just get Jennifer to come over and take care of your sorry ass."

  She's teasing, of course, because I can hear the laughter in her voice. But I also hear a twinge of jealousy and that works faster than the Ibuprofen to ease my pain. It must be the rush of pleasure endorphins.

  "Yeah, well... that will be kind of hard, seeing as how I broke things off with her two days ago."

  Rowan's head snaps up so fast, she almost catches me under the chin. Her eyes bore hard into mine, and her brows furrow inward. She looks pissed at first, but then I see she is just shocked over the pronouncement and has no clue what to do with the feelings they invoke.

  And they definitely invoke feelings. I can see them swirling in her eyes. She stares for just another moment and then goes back to her task, rubbing the ointment in.

  "So you broke up, huh?"

  "Yeah... we just weren't destined, I guess."

  "Did she take it hard?"

  "Not really," I tell her, and it's true... she didn't. She actually shook my hand when we parted ways outside the restaurant where I had met her to break the bad news.

  Rowan opens a bandage and with much more care, gently lays it over a burn and presses it into place. "Well... I'm sorry. N
o matter, it always sucks to go through a break up."

  "Are you?" I ask, watching her intently.

  She looks up at me, another bandage in her hand. "Am I what?"

  "Sorry we broke up."

  She doesn't answer right away and leans forward to put the other bandage on. But then she softly says, "No... I'm not sorry. Not really."

  I can't help myself so I put my hand under her chin and force her eyes up to mine. "My mom is a wise woman, don't you think?"

  Her eyes flare wide with surprise, because I'm quite sure she wasn't expecting me to bring my mom into the conversation.

  She nods her head slightly. "Very wise."

  "Well, I overheard her conversation with you on Thanksgiving. I just... think she's very wise."

  I can actually see the wheels spinning in Rowan's head as she drifts back to that conversation and tries to remember everything Nora Caldwell said to her. I smile softly and decide to put her out of her misery.

  "She said that she suspected I was into someone else... and that's why I didn't bring Jennifer over to see her."

  Rowan stands straight but doesn't back up from between my legs. I love her closeness to me and inhale her sweet scent. "Is that right?"

  "Pretty much."

  "You said something like that on the phone last night... when you called me."

  "Hey," I say and hold my hands up to deny culpability. "I deny anything I say while under the influence of drugs."

  Her face drops and her gaze lowers to the floor. She says, "Oh" and starts to turn away from me but I grab her wrist. When she turns to look back at me, her eyes are stormy gray and filled with confusion.

  "But," I tell her. "I'd say the same thing here in the bright light of day."

  Rowan's eyes go from dark to light in just a matter of a few seconds. She just looks at me and I return her stare.

  Then slowly, she reaches her hand and places her fingertips at the edge of my forehead where my hairline starts. She pushes her fingers in slowly until she's three-knuckles deep into my hair and she combs her fingers through. She repeats this a few times, just lazily running her hand through my hair.

  With a smile that is laced with trepidation, she says, "I'm still scared, Flynn."

  I reach up and grab her hand, pulling it to my mouth. Holding her fingertips to my lips for a moment, I slowly release them. I stand up from the chair and Rowan has to back up to give me room.