I have taken a wound to the leg during our latest skirmish at Zutphen. It is quite deep and disabling, and the surgeon thinks I will benefit from returning home to the care of an experienced physician. It doesn’t pain me greatly, although I cannot sit my horse and must be carried in a litter. By the time you receive this, I will be aboard ship on my way to Harwich. I shall see you very soon, my love. I am counting the days until I do, then we shall arrange our lives to our own happiness and not to others’ convenience, I promise.
Until I hold you in my arms again, and kiss you, beautiful Stella, I kiss you in my dreams, my dearest heart.
Your Astrophel
Nell saw by the date that the letter was over a week old, and as she held it to her breast she wondered if Philip had already docked at Harwich and was on his way to her even now. “Beloved, I shall soon be home with you.”
The door opened and as her husband walked into the room, she thrust the letter back into her pocket. Riche saw her by the window and his brows rose in surprise.
‘My Lady, I had not thought you would be here.’
‘Where did you think me, my Lord? The Queen is in the Council meeting.’
Riche walked to the table and poured himself a goblet of wine from the jug, gazing at her over the rim.
‘Not any longer. She has gone riding with your brother and his cronies, Burleigh is writing more letters of diplomacy and lies, while Walsingham has gone to find his daughter. I had thought you would be with your sister, and Lord Robert has gone to seek you there.’
Nell looked at him curiously, wondering why the Council meeting had ended so suddenly. She shook her head and shrugged.
‘I cannot think why Papa would want to find me if the Queen is riding. I will be needed when she returns to repair her maquillage, but until then I can see no need.’
Riche swallowed his wine and returned her shrug negligently, ‘His Lordship cried off riding with some discomfort in his belly. Perhaps that’s why he looks for you?’
He stopped speaking and they clearly heard a scream from further down the corridor. He poured himself more wine and looked at Nell levelly as her eyes met his enquiringly.
‘Walsingham has just found his daughter. You might want to go and comfort her, my Lady? She has just been told she is a widow.’
“Beloved, I shall soon be home with you.”
Nell’s stomach dropped and she sat down heavily, then took a deep breath.
‘A widow, my Lord? I don’t understand.’
Riche smiled into his cup and took another long swallow. ‘Forgive me, my Lady. In your delicate condition I should have broken the news about your cousin with more grace. That is why the meeting ended. Philip Sidney took a leg wound and was on his way home when the wound turned gangrenous and he died. His body will land at Harwich later today. I would go to her, my Lady, if I were you. I’m sure his Lordship will be there and he can tell you why he wants to see you.’
He chuckled into his wine as Nell made her way hesitantly across the room, using the furniture to support her as she made her way to the door, opened it slowly and then began to run towards the sound of Frances Sidney’s frantic screaming.
“Beloved, I shall soon be home with you.”
***
Lettice enveloped her elder daughter in her arms at the doorway to Leicester House and led her slowly up the stairs into her solar. She had asked Jane and Ursula to go into another room and occupy Robbie while she saw Nell alone. Nell’s face was milk-white and she seemed not to know where she was. Lettice settled her on a low chaise and sat with her arms around her, waiting until she spoke.
‘He was coming home to me, Mama.’ Lettice swallowed her own grief at the loss of another Dudley heir and nodded into Nell’s hair.
‘Was he, poppet?’
Nell nodded and felt in her pocket for the crumpled and tear-stained paper.
‘He wrote and told me so, Mama. We were going to be together, somewhere. Anywhere. It didn’t matter, as long as we were together. You understand.’
‘Oh, my lovely, I understand more than you can know. And he would have managed it somehow, sweetheart, I’m sure. He loved you so much.’
Nell nodded dumbly, unable to speak through the tears that cascaded down her face.
‘You shall stay here, poppet. Until you feel well enough to go back to court. Until after your babe is born if that is what you wish.’
Nell looked at her mother’s sympathetic gaze and swallowed hard, sniffing and wiping her eyes with a sodden kerchief.
‘When my father died, did you feel as I do, Mama? Bereft, that he died abroad and you weren’t with him?’ Lettice hugged her daughter again so she could avoid her gaze.
‘Your father and I were married for quite a time, poppet, and had children together. You and Philip are different. You had been parted through no fault of your own, and you had yet to make the life you wanted.’
‘And when my father died, you were already in love with Papa.’ Lettice widened her eyes and Nell smiled through her tears.
‘Mother, your disgrace and the Queen’s vengeance are spoken about by all the ladies-in-waiting. You are used as a warning to others as to what might happen if you disregard the Queen’s wishes.’
Lettice pushed down a giggle at the thought of her circumstances being used as a warning, and she hugged her daughter tightly.
‘You will have to hide your sorrow as you hid your love, pet. Frances will be able to claim the widow’s weeds and you will have to suppress your grief. Stay here until you are strong enough to do that, I beg you.’
‘I shall, Mother. For a few weeks perhaps, but not until the babe comes. I cannot think my husband will allow more than two weeks’ absence.’
‘Then we shall say you are vomiting. The Queen won’t have you return until you are sure you are recovered, regardless of your husband. Beth will have to paint her face the best way she can until you return.’ Nell quirked her mouth at her mother’s unusual show of spite.
‘Aunt Beth is very good, Mother. I have shown her some of the tricks I use……’ Nell stopped abruptly, unable to continue speaking about something as insignificant as the Queen’s maquillage in the face of her heartbreak. Taking a deep shuddering breath she gazed at Lettice and shrugged, ‘Until I return the Queen is in good hands.’
‘So are you, poppet. If you want company, we are here. But if you want solitude, then by all means let us know.’
Nell smiled tremulously at her mother, and then collapsed into sobs again as she wailed, ‘I just want Philip, Mama. I want him to come home to me.’
Lettice wiped her own eyes with her fingertips and held her daughter until her sobs had subsided and her breathing quieted, knowing that Robert would be with his sister Mary as she mourned the loss of her eldest son.
***
Two weeks after the interment of Philip Sidney, given a magnificent funeral by his grieving family and at great cost to his father-in-law, Elizabeth sat on her chair of state on her dais, listening to the musicians and watching the court.
Her ladies were sat on cushions around her, stitching or reading. At the other side of the long room, she saw Essex and his knot of friends, de Vere, Raleigh and the others, laughing at some jest. She smiled and caught Essex’s eye, and he strode across the room swiftly, empty scabbard slapping his boots and jewelled dagger glinting at his slender waist.
He threw himself down at her feet, lounging negligently on one elbow and gazed up at her. Elizabeth smiled into the depths of his dark, amused eyes and suddenly thought how much he reminded her of Robbie when he was young. The thought startled her and she thrust it from her mind; the resemblance was in the fashionable style of garme
nt and beard, and the youth she saw emanating from Essex like a shimmer of sun-haze. That he reminded her of his stepfather was a trick of her mind; he was not her Robbie, made young again.
‘Majesty.’ Essex bowed his head and twirled his hat, then bent and kissed the toe of her slipper, grinning up at her in mischief.
‘My Lord Essex. You have brought quite a tribe of young noblemen with you today.’
Elizabeth tilted her head towards the group he had just left.
‘Indeed, Majesty. They wish to bask in the sunlight of your radiant personality.’ Essex smiled up at her again and twirled his hat on his fingers, and Elizabeth raised one eyebrow. His teasing always cheered her, and as long as he didn’t use his charm to overstep the boundaries she insisted upon, she was happy to listen to his distracting gossip. That Burleigh and Walsingham kept away when Essex was with her somehow made his company even more appealing; she tired of their constant caution of plots and foreign policy.
‘How is your sister, my Lord?’
‘Which sister, Majesty? The fat unhappy one or the pleased one? If I could combine them, they would make one pleasant feline, would they not? As it is, I have a miserable fat one and one that is pleased beyond endurance at her own good fortune.’
‘Good fortune, my Lord?’
‘That she has had your gracious permission to marry Harry Percy. His great fortune is her good fortune, do you not think, Majesty?’ He sighed theatrically and then gazed up at her, fluttering his long dark eyelashes, ‘Would I had such a fortune. Perhaps I should marry him instead?’ Essex burst into loud peals of laughter and Elizabeth joined in, reaching down to swat him on the arm with her fan.
‘I hear tales of your losses at gambling, my Lord. You should have a care.’
‘Your Majesty is correct, of course. I really should have a care. But the dreadful thing is, your Majesty,’ he lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper, ‘I don’t have one. I have looked and looked, and I can’t find one anywhere. Does your Majesty have a care a poor Lord might borrow? I find myself quite without.’
Elizabeth succumbed to a fit of laughter that had the whole court stop their tasks and watch her, chuckling in amusement at Essex, who joined in the mirth easily.
‘My Lord, you are incorrigible.’ Elizabeth pretended sharpness with her tone, but her eyes still danced merrily. ‘And tell me of your other sister. I look forward to her returning to court soon. I miss her skill with my maquillage.’
‘She is fat, Majesty, but I’m sure she will return soon. At least she no longer vomits. But she is huge. Almost as huge as Mistress Throckmorton.’
‘Bess Throckmorton?’ Elizabeth looked at Essex, a question in her eyes. ‘My Lord, you slander one of my ladies.’ Her voice was rising and colour was appearing high on her cheeks. Elizabeth was confused by what this boy had said. Why would Bess be huge? She suppressed the anger rising suddenly within her, and fixed Essex with a direct look, lowering her voice urgently.
‘Answer me honestly, my Lord. Why would Bess Throckmorton be huge?’
‘Majesty, forgive me. I hadn’t realised it was a secret, and I was merely jesting, as always. Forget I spoke. It was unkind and unworthy of me, and I am sorry.’
‘Hadn’t realised what was a secret, my Lord?’ Elizabeth’s voice was harder now, and she watched as Essex thought about how to answer her without incurring her wrath. She softened her tone and laid her fan on his arm gently, turning her mouth upwards.
‘Tell me, my Lord.’ Out of the corner of her eye she could see her ladies exchanging glances and fluttering their hands. She knew what was going to be said; what she didn’t know was what she was going to do about it. Elizabeth was determined not to show her displeasure at the news quite yet; there would be time enough to be vengeful.
‘Majesty, it is rumoured, only rumoured mind you, that Mistress Throckmorton is actually Mistress Raleigh, and the child that grows in her belly is lawful.’
‘Indeed, my Lord. That is the rumour, is it?’ Elizabeth rapped her fan on his arm and tilted her head in dismissal. Essex leapt to his feet and went back to his group of friends, far more subdued than when he had left them.
Elizabeth sat silently on the dais and watched her court with hard eyes, thinking.
Chapter 35
ord Robert, might I have a word in private?’ Elizabeth’s voice rose above the shuffle of papers and scrape of chairs as the Privy Council prepared to leave the chamber, muttering to one another about what they had discussed.
‘I live to serve, your Majesty.’ Robert bowed and then strode to the wine table in the corner and poured himself a small cup of ale and a goblet of sweet wine for the Queen. He placed the wine in front of her and sat in the chair more usually occupied by Burleigh, then he waited for her to order her thoughts and speak.
‘How is your sister, my Lord? We were honestly sorrowed for her loss.’ Robert saw the genuine distress in her eyes for his family, and tried to think of a suitable response.
‘Grieving, Your Grace, as are we all,’ he swallowed his ale and murmured abstractedly, ’another son of Dudley gone. My father would be devastated.’
‘Your own son seems to be settling into court life, my Lord.’ Elizabeth regarded him over the rim of her cup with amusement and he chuckled softly.
‘Indeed he does, Majesty. He seems to have a silver tongue.’ His mouth quirked ruefully as he met Elizabeth’s amused gaze, ‘I can’t think where he might get it from.’
Elizabeth raised her brows and tilted her goblet toward him before responding, ‘John Dee speaks very highly of him, my Lord. His knowledge and aptitude for astronomy has impressed Master Dee greatly, and your son is improving his own knowledge while helping the Master with one or two difficulties he had encountered.’
‘I am grateful you introduced them, Majesty. I would have him busy, rather than he be one of the idle noblemen we seem to have accumulated here.’ Robert gazed into his ale and shook his head before taking another small swallow.
‘Ah yes,’ Elizabeth snorted in amusement and understanding, ‘Essex.’
‘Majesty.’ Robert’s tone had become terse when referring to his step-son.
‘He amuses us, my Lord. Takes our mind away from plots and rumour.’ Elizabeth set her goblet down deliberately on the Council table and fixed Robert with a direct gaze. ‘But speaking of plots, my Lord, that is why I wanted to speak with you, although I am certain my Lord Burleigh will have further orders.’
She paused and compressed her lips into a line. Robert knew that this was her substitute for biting her lower lip as she had done when they were young. She no longer allowed any outward sign of nervousness, and it was only he, that knew her so well and for so long, who realised the import of this gesture. He tilted his head to encourage her to continue.
‘I know you have been offered the governorship of the Low Countries, my Lord, and I want you to take it.’
‘Really, Your Grace?’ It was Robert’s turn to raise his brows doubtfully, and Elizabeth snorted.
‘No, my Lord, not really. I need my friends around me. But I also need someone I trust over there. Burleigh will send you to get you out of his way on the Council, but I want you to go and be my eyes and ears, as someone I can trust implicitly, with only my interests and the interest of England in his heart. I have to know if that Spaniard is indeed using his territory in the Low Countries to build and equip a force for invasion.’ Robert smothered a smile at Elizabeth’s habitual derogatory tone when she referred to Philip of Spain before he responded.
‘Won’t Walsingham’s spies be able to give you that information, Majesty? I am sure he has spies in every port waiting to tell him Spain’s preparations.’
‘He does, my
Lord. But the spies cannot listen to the gossip in the salons and presence chambers as you could. As Governor you would entertain, and you would be able to ascertain who were genuine friends of England and who were secret supporters of that Spaniard.’
‘Would I have troops to command, Majesty? Well- equipped and well provisioned troops?’ Robert remembered the letters his nephew had sent asking for more funds and he wasn’t prepared to take troops abroad without a guarantee of adequate support from the Crown.
‘Drake has docked, my Lord. We have much Spanish gold being brought to us on wagons.’ Robert watched as Elizabeth’s tone changed to one of excited anticipation and saw she was almost vibrating with excitement in her enjoyment of Drake’s new triumph. He smiled.
‘Then using Spanish gold to pay and equip troops to ensure the failure of a Spanish invasion seems ….. appropriate, Majesty. And I am honoured that you wish me to be at the head of your force.’
‘You will send your letters directly to me, my Lord. Not to Burleigh, not to Walsingham. I would know everything first hand, without them censoring what they tell me.’ Elizabeth’s eyes narrowed as she gazed at Robert and he nodded assent.
‘Of course, Majesty. You shall know everything I know, although I am sure those two Lords also have their own means of communication with their spies.’
Elizabeth stood, and Robert got to his feet and bowed. Elizabeth held her hand for him to kiss and he brushed his lips quickly over her knuckles.
‘Make preparations to leave, my Lord. I would have you there as soon as is practicable.’
‘Majesty,’ Robert bowed again as Elizabeth swept from the room, making lists in his head of things he would need to organise before he could leave, not least making sure his wife would accompany him. He didn’t intend to leave without her.
***
‘And I am to be allowed to go, Robin? Truly?’ Lettice gazed excitedly at her husband as he leaned negligently against the huge mantelpiece in her solar.
‘The Queen has banished you from Court, my love. She cannot banish you from my side, and as my wife, you will accompany me.’
On the Altar of England (Tudor Chronicles Book 4) Page 27