by Zara Cox
He gently cupped my face, dropped a reverent kiss on my lips before catching me in his arms once more. I refused to look into the bowl.
Couldn’t mourn a mother I’d never really had.
With each step away from the blackened remains of words that had weighed me down all my life, the tightness in my chest eased, smothered hope breaking through the fog of doubt.
A clock chimed somewhere within the apartment as he walked us back into his bedroom. This time he set me down next to the bed, his face lighting up in a smile.
‘It’s Christmas Day and I would very much love to unwrap you.’
My heart hammered hard enough to power up a small city, yet I still managed to raise my chin, to stare him down despite our height difference.
‘I may just allow you to, but only if you address me the way you crave to.’
I’d bared myself to him, admitted that I wasn’t sure how capable I was of returning the feelings he craved from me. But this I could give him. He dropped to his knees, and I was awed all over again by how magnificently comfortable he was in that position. How magnificent he was, full stop.
With reverent hands, he took my clothes off and then, at my nod, he undressed himself, pulled back the coverlet and helped me into bed.
Sliding between my thighs, he wrapped his arms around me. ‘Jeg elsker dig. I love you.’ He dropped a long kiss on my lips. ‘Merry Christmas, my heart. Min elskerinde.’
‘Merry Christmas, Jensen.’
We spent Christmas in bed making the most sublime love I’d ever known.
Jensen was searingly sweet, attentive and generous with his love. With every second that passed, my soul healed.
When Bryce called out of the blue, I bit back tears as I wished him and Savvie a merry Christmas. A text from Gideon an hour later daring me to spend New Year with him and Leonie brought on another emotion bout.
I’d never discovered what my mother had written to them in their letters, and I didn’t need to. Not any more. Somehow we’d all found happiness despite the abysmal odds, and that was enough for me.
* * *
I was a little apprehensive when Jensen strode into the room the next night, breathtaking in his tuxedo. I was also formally dressed in a strapless gown, with shoes and a matching clutch. Diamonds sparkled at my throat and in my ears, and my hair was slicked back and down my back, a simple enough style that’d surprisingly taken more time than I’d anticipated, making me a little late and a lot flustered when Jensen halted in his tracks.
‘Holy fuck, you look incredible,’ he breathed, his voice rough.
‘All this wasn’t achieved without huge effort, I’ll tell you that.’
He shook his head, his hands sliding over my waist to grip my hips. He loved gripping me there, and I loved his big, callused hands on me.
‘The outer package is merely the support act to the real diamond beneath that shines through your eyes, your smile. I taste it when I kiss you. Feel it when I’m inside you.’
I fanned my face, swallowing more than once before I could speak. ‘You’re going to make me cry again and ruin my make-up and make us late to wherever we’re going.’
He gave a wicked smile, kind enough not to point out how many times I’d dissolved into tears in the last twenty-four hours. It was as if all the grief, anger and bitterness I’d bottled up inside had needed an outlet immediately. He’d never once complained.
He’d simply gathered me in his arms and held me until the storm passed. That simple act of kindness had helped me heal faster, enough to tentatively embrace the phenomenon of his love.
He held out his hand and I slipped mine into it, my heart flooding with joy as he walked us out of the door and downstairs to his car.
The bright lights of Copenhagen flashed by as we headed into the inner city. When he stopped in front of a futuristic-looking glass building, I stepped out, looking for clues as to where we were.
‘If you’re trying to guess where we are, don’t bother. Unless you’ve become fluent in Danish in the last day and a half?’
I shook my head, laughing. ‘I’m good, but not that good.’
Jensen tossed his keys to a valet and held out his arm to me. I slipped mine through and we walked together into the building that turned out to be an art gallery.
My eyes widened. ‘It’s your exhibit?’ I guessed, thrilled.
He nodded with a smile. ‘My agent thinks it’s about time for another one.’
‘I wholeheartedly agree.’
He mock-winced. ‘I hope the two of you never meet. My life would become unbearable.’
‘It’s because we both believe in you. Your work is magic.’
He leaned down, his lips brushing my earlobe and making me shiver. ‘That’s what you keep insisting in the bedroom. And I might just start to believe you, min elskerinde.’
I was laughing when we walked into the first, largest room.
My laughter died, my senses overtaken by a different sort of pleasure.
The space was filled with Jensen’s work, starting from the first time he’d picked up a camera to his latest project, which happened to be mine. The whole place was hushed, the guests admiring his work in reverent silence.
We walked slowly through the gallery, stopping every now and then when a guest stopped him to congratulate him or express their wonder at his talents. He accepted accolades with a simple nod and smile, but as we drew closer to the end of the exhibit, he grew apprehensive.
‘Something wrong?’
He flashed a smile. ‘I hope not.’
About to ask what he meant, I held my tongue as his mother, stepfather and sister approached. His mother was smiling, her smile a little tearful as she addressed her son. Dag simply beamed, the proud father.
After a quick exchange in Danish, Agnetha turned to me. ‘Your lovely presents arrived this morning, Graciela. Thank you so much, but you really shouldn’t have. You’ve given me the best Christmas present.’ Her gaze veered to her son, fresh tears filming her eyes.
Tears clogging my own throat, I waved her away. I’d woken a slightly disgruntled Elsa and had her raid the emergency presents stash I kept in the office. Agnetha’s scarf, Dag’s vintage bottle of red, and Merete’s crystal bracelet had been hand-delivered this morning, along with Christmas cards and a present for Mikkel.
‘Excuse us, please,’ Jensen said to his family, then smoothly led me down a short, darkened hallway.
‘Where are we going?’ I asked, excitement mixing with a touch of anxiety.
‘You’ll see,’ was all he said.
I was learning that in some things Jensen was immovable. He was mine to command and cherish in the bedroom. But it was equally fulfilling for both of us for the reins to slacken a touch. It was all the more rewarding and thrilling when I pulled them back and took control.
I watched him grow more tense as we approached a set of double doors. With one last, furtive look at me, he threw them open.
Every surface, from floor to ceiling, was covered with images of me. All taken on the night of the borealis. There were easily over two hundred, but I could swear each frame had captured a different expression.
I turned to him, my heart in my throat as I stared at him, my soul bursting with feeling I couldn’t quite describe but wanted to embrace.
‘This, min elskerinde, this is how I see you. This is how you should look every day for the rest of your life,’ he said, his voice thick with emotion.
‘Thunderstruck?’ I croaked.
He smiled. ‘Starstruck. Awestruck. Filled with wonder and joy. Beautiful. Hopeful. Breathtaking. Fulfilled. Beautiful.’
‘Your already said beautiful.’
‘I know. It deserves repeating.’
His fingers interlocked with mine, I slowly spun around, my gaze lighting on each picture, tears brimming in m
y eyes as his words nurtured my soul, watered it and helped it sprout wings of belief. And as I came full circle, he was waiting, arms wide open.
I flew into them, my heart full. ‘I love you,’ I confessed, the words a vow I knew I’d never doubt or break.
His body shook, his breath expelling long and deep as he held me tight. ‘I know, my darling. I got there a little faster than you, but I knew you’d catch up.’
I laughed. I cried, uncaring that I was becoming emotionally wrecked again as I basked in his love.
‘We can enjoy this just between us, or you can show it to the world. You direct the narrative of your life from now on. I’ll merely provide the support. But I’d like the world to see the real Graciela Mortimer.’
Eventually, I dragged my head from his chest and looked up into his eyes. Watched him slowly sink down, uncaring who saw him on his knees in front of me, waiting patiently for my reply.
‘I want what you want, Jensen. Today, tomorrow, for always. If you see me like this, then I would be proud to show myself like this to the world.’
I leaned down and kissed him, my fingers gliding through his hair, catching the knot at the back of it and gripping it tight. He groaned into my mouth, then drew back for a spell. ‘I love you.’
‘Jeg elsker også dig,’ I repeated back to him, watched his eyes light up and knew that within that light my soul had been reborn.
EPILOGUE
‘TELL ME ABOUT the whales, Jensen.’
He gave a thick groan and I hid a smile. ‘You want me to tell that story right now?’ he asked, his voice strained.
It might have had something to do with the fact that I was completely naked and astride him, and he was deep inside me, doing everything in his power to hold absolutely still at my command. Or perhaps it was the old-fashioned folding razor I was using to shave off his stubble that made him a little nervous. I had a feeling it was the combination of edgy danger and surrendering himself to me that gave us both the ultimate thrill.
I carefully scraped the sharp edge beneath his firm jaw, the sandpapery rasp curiously making me wetter. ‘It’s been a crazy couple of months. But I think we have a little time now?’
He snorted. ‘By a little time, you mean you plan on being fashionably late to your launch party?’
I couldn’t hold back my grin. Hell, I’d been smiling so much lately, I was surprised my face hadn’t fallen off from the well of happiness growing inside me.
My life had changed in the space of a few weeks.
First, Jensen and I accepted Gideon’s invitation and joined him and Leonie on the family yacht in the south of France a few days into the new year. My apprehension melted away within minutes when my hitherto fearsome and formidable brother greeted me with a wide smile and swept me off my feet into a bear hug. The second surprise, in the form of Bryce and Savvie stepping onto the deck, was equally heart-warming, starting what had become the best family time I could remember. That they were coming to the party tonight filled me with warmth I wouldn’t have believed possible a short time ago. My heart swelled as I acknowledged that it all had to do with the man beneath me.
‘Don’t change the subject,’ I said, projecting sternness into my voice.
‘I wouldn’t dare. Not when you’ve literally got me by the throat and cock,’ he joked, but he swallowed hard nonetheless, a fine tremor shivering through his body as I slowly rolled my hips. ‘Christ,’ he swore thickly under his breath.
‘The whales, Jensen.’
‘What do you want to know, mit hjerte?’
My heart. I loved the Danish endearments that fell so effortlessly from Jensen’s lips because I knew the wealth of emotion behind them.
‘Everything. Start from the beginning. Did you know they were going to be there?’ I finished with his left side and angled my body to his right.
The movement dragged my inner heat over his length and he gave a deep groan. Then took a shuddering breath. ‘I wasn’t going to shoot any underwater stuff that day. We were in Tonga to film the active volcano. I spotted a couple of whales on my morning swim, grabbed a few of my guys and headed out on the boat for a closer look.’ He stopped. I paused, overawed by the transcendent look on his face. ‘There were dozens of them, just...frolicking. Mothers with newborns. Older ones. I couldn’t get into my scuba gear fast enough.’
I smiled. ‘Tell me about that picture.’ The one that had made him famous. The iconic one everyone raved about when they spoke about Jensen Scott.
His throat moved as he swallowed again. ‘Until very recently, it was the most profound thing to happen to me.’
‘Tell me how it felt. In that moment. Were you terrified?’
‘The smallest was easily the size of a bus so, yes, I was plenty terrified going into the water. But...all I know was that one moment my chest was pounding, then the next all I felt was...incredible, soul-quietening peace.’ The last word was gruff. ‘I don’t know why they stopped playing or why they came close the way they did.’
The picture of seven sperm whales surrounding him in a perfect circle with Jensen suspended in the middle had rocked the world. The perfect synchronicity of giant tail fins moving as one while the whales all stared at Jensen had moved millions. Thousands had believed the picture was fake. When it’d been authenticated, Jensen Scott had shot to fame, winning a clutch of awards both for the stills and for the ninety-second video he’d shot with the camera pointing up.
‘What made you leave the camera where you did?’
He exhaled. ‘That was nothing new. I always dive with multiple cameras. You never know where the perfect shot will come from. Everyone thinks there was just that one camera but there were three, set up on the ocean floor on tripods. The one I released captured the best angle.’
I gasped. ‘There are others? Can I see them?’
‘They’re in the Denmark apartment. You’ll have to come back with me next week if you want to see them.’
I leaned close and brushed my lips over his. ‘I was planning on coming with you anyway.’ We hadn’t quite worked out where or when we’d move in together. All we knew was that we were rabid about spending every spare moment together.
I leaned back again, watched his eyes fall to my breasts before darting back up to meet mine. His cock jerked inside me, and he sucked in a desperate breath.
‘How many times has your video been watched?’
‘According to my agent...two and a half billion times.’
‘God, that’s incredible.’
He made a pained sound and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. He was almost at breaking point, just where I loved him to be.
‘Last question,’ I murmured as I passed the razor along his taut cheek, shaving the last bristled spot.
‘Ja, min elskerinde.’
‘You said it was your most profound moment until recently?’
Ice-blue eyes met mine, blazed with steel-forged love, before dropping in submissive surrender. ‘It was. At the time I thought nothing would ever equal it. Then I met you.’ His voice was hushed and solemn, reflecting everything he felt. An expression I was still finding hard to fathom belonged to me and only me. ‘Now I simply accept that it was a moment that was destined to happen just so it would bring me to you.’
I heard the razor clatter to the floor without fully taking it in. I gripped his nape, nudging his head up until I captured his gaze with mine. ‘You can’t say things like that to me.’ God, was that mess my voice?
His nostrils flared. ‘Why the hell not?’
‘Because there’s only so much room in my chest for how big my heart gets when you say things like that.’
The most dazzling smile stretched across his face, making my heart swell even bigger. ‘Will you punish me if I say I’m not sorry?’
I slowly circled my hips, biting back a moan at the scalp-tingling sensation. ‘I
most definitely intend to punish you. Later. Right now I’ll reward you for sharing your beautiful story with me.’ I pressed a kiss to his lips. ‘And for loving me,’ I added in an even thicker voice.
His smile altered, weighted by emotion as he bared himself even further. ‘I intend for us to have many beautiful stories to share, min elskede,’ he vowed.
‘Then share one with me right now, Jensen. Touch your mistress. Show her how much you love her.’
The words were barely out of my mouth before he was switching his death grip from the chair to my hips, slamming me back down on his steely length.
I held on tight for a moment, then simply let go as I was swept under a torrent of love. One I was beginning to believe would stand the test of time.
* * *
An hour later, after a quick but carnally eventful shower, we stepped hand in hand out of the lift ten floors below, in the tallest building in London, which just happened to have the Mortimer name stamped on it, and into the glitzy affair that was the ice-themed party to celebrate the latest release of Mortimer Quarterly. The climate-conscious theme had resonated powerfully, with many media outlets running features off what Jensen and I had put together.
We circulated, holding on tight to one another.
A loud wolf whistle cut through the music and chatter and I turned to see Bryce, grinning, with one arm slung around Savvie, the other waving me over. Next to him, Gideon also kept his wife close, as if they were both afraid of letting the women they loved stray too far.
My fingers tightened around Jensen’s, my own possessiveness engulfing me.
‘Everything okay?’ Jensen murmured, sensing my emotions.
I swallowed the lump in my throat. ‘Yes, Jensen. Everything’s great.’
He smiled, kissed my hand again.
‘This is some shindig, Gracie,’ Gideon said when I reached him.
‘The whole thing’s amazing,’ Leonie, his wife, added, looking stunning in a green sequinned dress.
More accolades flooded in from Savvie and Bryce. Inexplicable tears prickled my eyes. Perhaps the women sensed my surfacing emotions. They excused themselves to go to the ladies’. Jensen kissed my cheek, then headed to the bar to get us drinks.