“Deputy will be here in half an hour. But we’ll get moving. I’d like to get up the mountain road before too much snow settles,” Declan said, switching off the lights, locking the door to his office, and then crossing to his truck. “Hey, relax. We’ll find him and you two can patch things up. I think you are both hurting and need to sit down and tell each other how you feel.”
She followed, shivering against the cold. “I don’t know if that’s possible, but I hope so. Jason thinks I am the most unsuitable person to be looking after him. He doesn’t like me, and when I see myself through his eyes, I can see why.”
“Now, that is just a teenage boy talking. Deep down, he knows how much he needs you. Boys are just not so good at showing it,” Declan said, opening the door for her and helping her inside. Again, the touch of his hand made a warm feeling spread across her flesh. If only this were a date and they were going home to his place for something other than to fetch cold weather gear. If circumstances were different, she would truly like to see what was hidden under this sheriff’s uniform.
He jumped in beside her, buckled his seatbelt, and turned to wink at her reassuringly. “We will find him. I promise. Even if I have to tear down the mountain to find him.”
What made her think that he would truly do that? For her? The look in his beautiful eyes. Their intensity had not changed, although he had covered it up with his softer, gentler approach. But the desire, the fascination, that had burned there from the first time he saw her was still evident.
“Don’t you have a wife or girlfriend waiting for you at home?” she asked, cursing her mouth for disengaging itself from her brain. However, she did want to know, not only because it would fuel the fantasy she was having about him being her man. But also, she didn’t want to enter his home and find his lover there waiting for him. Now, that would be awkward and she would insist on staying in the car.
“Nope. Never found the right one.” Until now. She read those two words in his expression and her insides turned to liquid fire.
Yes. Jason was probably right about her not being suitable as a parent, because no woman with an ounce of maternal instinct would be thinking about a man taking her to bed when her nephew was out there somewhere, lost and alone.
The snow was hitting the windscreen, blurring her view as they drove along roads she didn’t know. They passed houses decorated with hundreds of bright, flashing Christmas lights, shining like colourful beacons through the falling snow. Maria hadn’t realised how big the town of Bear Bluff was. As it sprawled out into farming country, the streetlights petered out until the only illumination through the darkening gloom was the truck's headlights.
The road meandered for a mile or two, before they took a turn back towards Bear Bluff Mountain. A little further on, they turned to climb a short distance to the foothills of the mountain before Declan turned once more to follow a dark track, the trees overhead now bearing the burden of the falling snow, crowding in on them as they passed underneath. A hundred feet later, he stopped. Through the falling snow, she could just make out a large wooden cabin.
“Is this where you live?” she asked.
“Yes. Believe it or not, it has a great view. But today you just get to see snow. Come on. We’ll go in, I’ll grab some clothes for you and the rest of the equipment, and then we can take the truck to the highest point of the road. From there we hike.” His hand was on the door, but before he opened it to let the cold in, he said, “Last chance to back out. Jason will understand if you are waiting at home for him. You don’t have anything to prove.”
“Are you saying you want me to stay here out of the way?” she asked, beginning to feel like a nuisance.
“No. That is not what I am saying. But you don’t have to kill yourself to prove you love him.” Declan’s face held such pity, her heart ached.
“I have to do this. Maybe it’s like a trial by fire. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone but myself.”
“Climbing a mountain in near zero temperatures with a wind chill that will freeze your face off is not going to prove how fit you are to be in his life.”
“I need to do this,” she said simply, and there was no way to explain how she knew this. But with all her heart, her very soul, she knew that this was what she had to do. And she had to do it with Declan.
“Then let’s go.” He opened the door and a cold rush of air made her shiver. They weren’t too much higher in elevation than the town, but as she got out of the truck, she could feel the drop in temperature. As they got higher up the mountain, it would get much worse.
Feeling nervous at her decision, she asked, “How far is the cave?”
He opened the front door, letting them into his house, “High enough, there is a string of them. I’m not sure exactly which one he’s in. But while I get everything ready, I plan to make a few phone calls. I may be able to pinpoint exactly where he is going to. I also want to make sure he isn’t hiding somewhere in town.”
“I checked with his friends. No one had seen him.”
“So they say. Maybe the strong arm of the law might flush him out.”
“You really think he might be hiding somewhere in town?” A rush of relief hit her. She had called everyone she knew. Not that that covered a whole lot of people. But all the moms she’d spoken to swore they had not seen him.
“Might be. But from what you’ve said, he might have gone to the cave to feel closer to his parents. Other people’s houses would remind him more of what he’s missing.”
“You mean Christmas with his parents?” Of course, this would always be the worst time of year for Jason. She didn’t know the family traditions the people of Bear Bluff had. How could she? Maria and Yvonne had grown up on the coast where the sun shone. The snow falling outside the door was the most she had ever seen, except for on a Christmas card.
This was her life; she had given up the warm sunshine to live on a picturesque Christmas card, only life wasn’t as perfect as the verse made out it should be. There were no Happy Holidays for her and Jason.
“When we find him, I’ll have a good talk with him, Maria. He might open up to me.”
“Because you aren’t an outsider like me?”
He fell silent and then almost opened up to her, but whatever he wanted to say, he changed his mind and simply said, “I’ll talk to him, see if I can make him see how difficult it is for you too.”
“It doesn’t matter how difficult it is to me. Jason is all that matters.”
He shut the front door, putting a barrier between them and the elements. But there was no barrier between their bodies, the small hallway seemingly claustrophobic as they faced each other, only inches apart. And when he spoke, the sincerity in his voice made her believe every word. “You matter too, Maria. I know he’s a kid, but Jason is old enough to know that how he is behaving isn’t right. Isn’t fair. You dropped everything and came to a strange town to look after him.”
“I know. I wish I had seen him more before...” Her breath shuddered with emotion. “When he was younger, I came to see him, or Yvonne would visit me for summer vacations. Then life got in the way. You know. The last couple of years we’ve been strangers. Whenever I mentioned visiting, Yvonne said they were busy.”
“Having a teenager, especially in Bear Bluff, is a huge responsibility.”
She frowned. “What do you mean by that?”
“Your sister never said anything?” He was brushing against that unsaid something. Resisting taking the plunge to give her an explanation. But what explanation? What exactly was going on here in Bear Bluff?
“No. Nothing out of the ordinary. Should she have?” Maria felt her heart begin to beat rapidly in her chest as he leaned forward, his breath on her neck; this was it, he was going to give her some answers. Instead, he simply inhaled, drawing her scent in.
Shuddering with desire, she closed her eyes, waiting for him to kiss her. In an involuntary action, her tongue snaked out and moistened her lips ... and then he was gone.
“Make yourself at home while I get what we need.” With that, he led her into a large open-plan room. It certainly wasn’t your average bachelor pad. It was cozy, tastefully decorated with soft furnishings in striking reds and muted browns. The room welcomed her in, and she found herself wanting to stay.
If only her nephew was at home, safe, instead of somewhere out in the deepening gloom. She hated the thought of him being alone and cold. Or maybe he was at a friend’s house.
Then she could stay here, with Declan.
Chapter Five – Declan
He left her alone. He had to, or else he was liable to tear her clothes from her body and carry her to the bedroom. At least that was what his bear wanted, and now she was in his home, his den, he was struggling to control his other side.
So he made himself busy. First he went to the kitchen and put the kettle on to boil. They should take a flask or two of hot coffee with them. Next, he pulled some supplies from the cupboards. Chocolate: it would give them energy, and he was sure he had some emergency ration packs too. They were stored in the garage with his mountain rescue kit. Sometimes hikers got lost on the mountain and they had to get rescued.
However, he had never gone on his own. No, he always had either Dermot or Damon with him. This was going to be a first. He would be going it alone, with his mate. That reminded him, he needed to tell one of them where he was, just in case he didn’t come back.
Taking out his cell, he was pleased to see he had a signal despite the snow, which was still falling. Dialling Damon’s number, he waited for him to pick up. It took a while. And then it went to his voice mail. Nothing strange in that, he was most probably on a call. So he punched in Dermot’s number. That rang for an age too, until eventually he answered.
“Hi, Declan.”
“Dermot. Are you OK?” His brother sounded different, not his usual self. “Did something happen? I tried to get hold of Damon, but he isn’t picking up.”
“Um. Yeah, he messaged me, said he was out on a call, something about saving a cat.”
“A cat? You mean someone has called them out on a night like this for a cat?” Declan couldn’t believe the crew had gone out for someone’s pet. Well, yes, he could. Whoever was in need, the fire crew would help. And losing a pet a Christmas was never going to be allowed to happen.
“Not that kind of cat,” Dermot said cryptically.
“Oh.” He wasn’t in the mood for guessing games. “Well, I wanted to let one of you know I am heading up the mountain.”
A long silence, then, “The mountain. Hey, hold on a moment.” The line went quiet and Declan wondered what exactly his brother was doing, and where he was. “Right. Say again.”
“When I went back to the office there was a woman waiting for me. She’s Yvonne’s sister. Remember…”
“Yes. Not a thing I would easily forget.” They had all attended the scene. All thought how unfair it was for two parents to die in a hit and run. The town had been thankful that Jason wasn’t in the car. It had been a blessing, but still totally unfair.
“Well, young Jason has taken off. Maria thinks he’s headed up over the Bluff somewhere. To one of the caves. Do you know where his dad used to take him?”
“Sure. It was the one with the cave paintings.”
“Our cave paintings?” Declan asked.
“Yes. You remember when we went up there as kids and chalked them on the walls?” Dermot asked.
“I do. And you’re sure that’s where he went?” Declan asked.
“Yeah. I know because I told Matthew we drew them and he said don’t tell Jason; he liked to believe they had been there for centuries. You know, like our ancestors had drawn them.”
“I get it. Thanks, Dermot. Is everything OK with you?” Declan asked. The edge was still clear in Dermot’s voice.
“Yeah. I just… well there was a woman, and her car had broken down.”
“And … she’s the one?”
“I think so. Hell. I know so. But it’s more complicated than that. Listen. I have to go. Or do you want me to come with you? I can, if you need me to...” But Dermot didn’t sound as though he wanted to drop everything to climb a freezing-cold mountain.
“No. I have it all under control. Just keep a check on Damon, and if I am not back by tomorrow afternoon, make sure you get mountain search and rescue to come after us.”
“You don’t think you should call them anyway?” Dermot asked.
“No. Look, it’s something Maria feels she has to do. And at least this way it stays off the record. Once search and rescue get involved, more questions get asked.” Declan went over his argument in his head, checking that was the right reason for doing this. “We aren’t climbing that high and the snow isn’t too deep. I think we’ll be fine. If it gets too difficult, we’ll come back down.”
“Maria, huh?” Dermot asked. Declan could tell he had put two and two together, and come up with four, when Declan thought that they were more like a three. They didn’t add up correctly, not yet at least. But soon. All he had to do was keep her safe, find Jason, and then get them both down from the mountain.
Oh yeah, and patch up her rocky relationship with her nephew. That part might be easy: all he had to do was get them to see each other's point of view, a thing he had been doing with his brothers since they were kids.
However, he doubted this would be as easy, because he was struggling to be objective. He wanted Maria to be happy at all costs. And that cost would be Jason if he wasn’t careful.
Chapter Six – Maria
She sat down on the sofa, despite feeling the urge to look around the room and find out all she could about the sheriff. However, that would be prying and she had no right. Instead, she sat nervously, perched on the edge of a sofa, hands on her knees.
No Christmas decorations. So Declan didn’t celebrate Christmas. He had her sympathy. Christmas without a family was hard; it compounded the feeling that something was lacking in your life. Something like a husband or wife. Although, this year, the thing missing was Yvonne and Matthew. She missed them, and could only imagine how much Jason missed his mom and dad.
She sighed. Would she ever be able to convince Jason to give her a chance to be his guardian? And could she ever learn to embrace parenthood? She doubted it. Becoming the sole guardian of Jason had given her more insecurities than she knew how to deal with.
She constantly worried she was not good enough. Jason’s behaviour only compounded that belief. She tried to put a brave face on, especially in front of Jason, but slowly she felt her whole life slipping away out of control.
“Maria?” Declan said, coming back into the room. “Are you OK?”
An expert at hiding her tension, she smiled, trying to look serene and in control. Because if he thought she wasn’t in control he might tell social services and they might decide she wasn’t fit to be Jason’s guardian. It didn’t exactly say much for her parenting skills, losing her nephew just before Christmas. Would it look like he was miserable with her, would he tell them he would rather live in foster care?
This wasn’t helping anyone. Maria pushed down her insecurities and said, “I’m fine. I am just so worried about Jason.” She stood up. “Are we ready to go?”
“I have to get some stuff from the garage, and you have to put these on.” He handed her some warm clothes.
“Thanks,” she said taking them from him. She sat down on the sofa, and removed her boots, thinking how glad she was that she had bought them before the snow came. She also removed her jacket, and looked at the layers of clothes he had given her.
“The under layer should go on first,” he said, watching her closely.
“You want me to strip here?” she asked.
“Yes.” His voice sounded hungry, his eyes mentally undressing her. Then he snapped awake. “Sorry. Use my bedroom. The under layer goes on first, it fits tightly against your skin. Then the fleece base layer, then the other sweaters. Lastly I’ll give you a jacket to wear.”
“It’s no trouble,” he answered, smiling so that she knew he would move heaven and earth for her. Damn, she was a romantic fool. He was the sheriff and he was simply helping one of his townsfolk find a missing boy. Nothing more.
Nothing more.
She clutched the clothes to her chest and scuttled off out of the room, her mind filled with images of herself doing a striptease in front of him. For a woman who was insecure in her own skin, those thoughts confused her. Why did he make her feel alive and confident? Because she knew she was safe with him: he could have any woman he wanted, so he would never want a curvy woman with a little too much weight on her hips and an even bigger amount of emotional baggage. No matter how much she threw herself at him.
He had single-handedly chased her usual nerves away, replacing them with a different nervous tension, one that revolved around her naked in his bed. The same bed she laid the warm clothes on, and as she took off her sweater and her T-shirt, she imagined his hands on her body, stroking her skin.
Quickly, trying to stop her imagination before it went too far, she put on the layers just as he had told her. They were a little roomy, but they smelt deliciously of him. Closing her eyes, she could imagine him hugging her, his strong arms around her, his lips on her neck.
“Maria? How’s it going?” His voice outside the bedroom door made her jump, and she hoped he wasn’t a mind reader, because her imagination had strayed into the erotic.
“I’m ready,” she said, pulling the door open, feeling rather too wrapped up in the mountain of clothes he had given her.
“Great. You’ll be thankful for them. Let’s get going. It’s a long climb. We’ll have to stop halfway and rest, then continue on at first light.” He began moving towards the front door, backpack slung over his shoulder.
“We can’t keep going through the night?” she asked, following him out.
“No. The first part of the climb is relatively easy. Although even then we are going to be tied together so I don’t lose you in the snow. But the last part is steep and we need some light. Although if this storm carries on, we may find the last climb impossible.”
Shifter Wonderland: Twelve BBW Paranormal Holiday Shape Shifter Romances Page 48