“I gathered as much.” Halo replied softly, “I don’t think she is either…” She added so quietly it was barely perceptible, he met her gaze with unease.
“Halo…”
She cut him off, “Xander, if that is how you choose to live your life... I think you know in your heart how I really feel about you. I guess the only other thing I can say is that I do need you and want you too… and not for the reasons you think.”
He felt her hand release his and she turned and began walking back to camp. He just wanted to scream, break something or run until he fell from exhaustion. His fingernails began digging into his palms as his the knuckles of his fists were white with frustration. With effort he unclenched his fists and shook them out and took in several deep breaths then headed off in the direction she went.
Halo turned when she heard him calling out to her, she stopped and waited for him with baited breath. She knew no other way to convince him of her feelings for him except for that saying that one word that described the feeling for him in her entire body… love.
“Yes?” She asked expectantly.
“I want to give you your gift. I’ll meet you back at camp in say... fifteen minutes?”
Her smile threatened to crack her face and she felt excitement rush through her, “My gift? I thought it wasn’t ready?” She asked excitedly.
He smiled back at her, “It’s close enough. Sound like a plan?” He watched her give a little hop and clasped her hands together, it was priceless seeing her happy.
“Oh my yes!” She blurted out. “Can you give me another hint?” She asked with an exuberant laugh.
“All I will say is: It’s yours and yours alone.”
She nearly jumped on him as she hugged him hard, “Well, then hurry up!” She laughed and gave him a playful push.
“Oh, wear your Keds it’s a little bit of a walk.” He added as he began walking away.
“I will!” She called out and quickly headed off towards camp.
Halo finished brushing her hair and began to apply her cherry lip gloss when Xander called out to her. She raced out from inside the tent and right up to him and did little jump in front of him. She missed the flash of sadness in his smile due to her excitement.
“I’m ready!” She exclaimed.
“Well then let’s do this.” Xander replied, “It’s a short hike from here, we’ll go up through the trees rather than the beach route, I think the sand will tire you out.”
“Whichever! Sand or trees!”
He smiled at her enthusiasm and gestured north into the ‘jungle’ as he liked to call it. It took them several minutes from camp to get to the garden. Halo stopped and marveled at it and she recognized all the work he had put in.
“This is the garden? Wow! It’s much bigger than I thought! Wow! Look at all the work you put into it! Oh!” She pointed, “The tomatoes are getting ripe!”
“Just about there.” Xander chuckled.
“Where are the pineapples at?” Halo asked.
Xander pointed east, “Right down that pathway. Do you want to go there?”
“Is my gift there?” Halo asked with a big smile.
“Uh, no. It’s close by, up the hill.”
“Well let’s not waste time!” She urged him on.
He led the way for a few minutes then stopped, came around and stood in front of her, “Halo, I’d like you to close your eyes and put your hand on my shoulder and follow me up, ok?” He asked having a hard time trying not to smile.
“Of course!” She replied giddily. She quickly closed her eyes and put her hand out.
He guided her hand to his shoulder and he let himself relish her touch for a moment before he began leading the way carefully up the path.
Halo felt the incline as they walked then they leveled out, in all it took about two minutes, she thought.
“Ok, Halo… you can open your eyes now.”
She snapped them open and her hands shot up and covered her mouth as her eyes widened like saucers. She looked to Xander whose smile was beaming across his handsome face. She began jumping up and down and she let out a gasp of joy.
Halo took her hands away from her mouth and pointed at a small bamboo house built on the hill. It stood two feet off the ground on bamboo pilings. There was a small deck before the door to the house. She marveled at the pitched roof, covered with palm fronds and the thick ornate bamboo frame work over the deck. It reminded her of something she saw in Japan once.
“Halo this is my gift to you, this is your new home until you are rescued.”
“XANDER! Oh my! It’s beautiful! How! How did you do this?” She gasped and leaped over to him and hugged him hard, rocking him back and forth.
“Fortunately I had some tools from Samson’s place. I… uh took his hut apart, too weird staying there.” He trailed off then picked it back up, “The roof is the wood planking as well as the door. The fronds are there to help keep the rain off. So far, it doesn’t leak. The other island has a huge bamboo grove, the trick was getting the bamboo dried…”
“Xander!” She yelled excitedly, interrupting him, “No one has ever done anything like this for me! I—I don’t know what to say!” She exclaimed with exhilaration. She quickly pulled his face to hers and gave him a big kiss on his cheek.
He fell into a mild state of shock at feeling her warm soft lips against his cheek again. When she drew back, his hand unconsciously reached up and touched the area gently where she kissed him.
“Can I go inside?” She asked happily and got a nod from him. She took off, halfway there she stopped, turned to him with a huge smile and called out, “We are going to be so happy here together!”
“Wha?” He began to say but she disappeared into the house. Oh no… he thought. She did not understand. He quickly ran up the steps after her.
She was spinning around inside the little house with a huge smile on her beautiful face. She saw a small bamboo table and stool, a bamboo bookcase for her clothes, and she pointed at the potbellied stove and giggled. The last thing she saw was the bed, she pointed at it and looked at Xander.
“Xander? The bed is awfully narrow? I don’t mind, but are you sure we are going to fit on that?” She giggled.
“Halo… I don’t think I made myself clear, my bad…” He frowned.
Halo felt confused and cocked her head, “What do you mean? You’re not going to sleep on the floor are you?” She asked with a giggle.
“Well… I built this just for you. This is your house, not mine.” He stated quietly.
Halo felt her heart drop to her feet and her insides went all sour, “Excuse me?” She blurted out. “Where the hell are you going to be?”
“I, uh was going to stay outside until I can build a small one next to yours. I was planning on building a kitch…”
She pointed her finger at him and interrupted, “God dammit Xander! You mean I have to sleep alone? Here on the island by myself?”
“I’ll be close…” He began to say.
Halo felt a rage beginning to boil inside of her, “You are the God damned king of mixed signals! I fucking swear! We sleep together and I know you enjoy it! I get flowers nearly every day for weeks and look there are flowers right here too!” She pointed to the bamboo vase with purple flowers in it, next to his phone and wireless speakers.
“Halo?”
She put her hands on her hips and stopped him short, “You build me a God damned house and exhaust yourself doing it and you actually think this is what will make me happy?” She spun around looking at all his handiwork. She gestured around with her hand, “How much clearer can I make this? YOU are what makes me happy! I fucking appreciate what you’ve done here, but I’d rather sleep on a rock with YOU than be here alone!” She held up two fingers forcefully at him, “FOR TWO FUCKING YEARS I’VE SLEPT ALONE!” She screamed at him, “Here I fall for an awesome guy who I know feels for me and, and…”
“Halo I’m so sorry, with what happened this morning…” He attempted to
explain.
She stormed up closer and pointed her finger in his face angrily, “You fucking ruin everything!”
She was incensed with fury, she watched him stand there silently looking down at his shoes, shuffling his feet. Why doesn’t he care! She thought angrily. “So I can’t have you sleeping next to me or even in the same room? Is that what you are still telling me?” She shot at him trying to get him to explain.
“Halo… I’m married. I’m so sorry.”
She watched him step back and bump into the open door. She narrowed her eyes at him and mocked him, “I’m married. You like throwing that in my face! You use it as your shield against me, don’t you?” She yelled and pointed at him again, “Well I fucking want to tell you something Mr. Clueless! Your wife, your daughter, my parents… the whole fucking God damn world thinks WE ARE DEAD!” She screamed and jabbed her finger at him, “Don’t fucking deny it! Admit it!” She saw she hurt him as his eyes became teary and she was glad he felt something of her pain. “If people came to this fucking island they would have buried Samson Pele… whatever his name is, long ago! No one is coming!”
She saw him edge towards the open door and she stepped over and blocked his exit, “What? Trying to leave? I want your answer God dammit!” She watched him calmly clasp his hands in front of himself and saw his mouth come open.
His voice was calm, “Uh, Halo… please calm down? Can we take a few minutes to clear our heads so we can talk about this normally? Please?” He begged.
How could he tell her to calm down when all this shit was his fault? She thought incredulously. “NO! We are having this out! Right here and now! If you really want to make me happy then own up to it! Or you can fix the God damned phone and get the fuck off of my island!” She screamed. She watched as he held up his hands at her trying to placate her.
“Halo, no. Not like this please! Take a deep breath, I don’t want to upset you but I won’t stand her and be yelled at needlessly. I said I was sorry for the miscommunication…”
Needlessly? Did he just fucking say needlessly? She felt the rage explode through her like a hot geyser, she gritted her teeth hard and clenched her tiny fists, “NO!” She screamed in his face and watched as his eyes flew open wide.
Xander did not register it until the last second, and much too late when he saw it coming. Her fist flashed up and struck him hard right under his left eye as she yelled ‘NO’ at him. His eyes began to water and his ear rang from the impact of her little fist. His hand shot up to where she hit him and felt a warm wetness where she connected. He looked at his fingertips and saw blood. Finally registering fully that she had just hit him, his heart felt like it fell through the world. He did not understand why she would hit him, he certainly did not deserve it, but all he could do is look at the blood on his hand and felt the beginning of a few hot tears roll down his face.
Then the physical pain of her punch finally registered and caused him to wince. Suddenly it felt like his heart had rebounded back and crashed back into his chest hard—shattering against his ribcage. He looked from his hand to his beautiful tormentor, she had her hands over her mouth, and her blue eyes were wider than saucers staring at him in disbelief at what she had done. He felt himself slump back against the opened door as he tasted the salt from his tears and iron from his blood.
He held out his trembling fingers showing her the blood and his heart cried out to him to ask her why she would hurt him, but that was not what made its way out of his mouth. “Move. Please.” He commanded and his eyes narrowed.
“Xander! I never hit anyone like that before, oh my God I am so sorry…” She started to say and reach out to him.
His teeth clenched down hard and he interrupted her, “Lucky me, and I said, move…” He commanded icily. She stepped quickly away from the door. He sidestepped her, keeping her in front of him, then he was out onto the veranda and out of her reach. Now, he thought, he had multiple escape routes available to him if she tried anything else. He watched her turn and stand in the doorway with a look of pure sorrow at him.
She watched as his hand reached up and covered his heart. Then he spoke to her, his voice full of pain. “People who love each other don’t hit in anger!” He choked out at her. “Just now, you—you were just like Evie, at least she didn’t draw blood… freaking same place too.” He muttered indignantly as he touched his bleeding cheek again.
“Xander! I’m sorry! W—what do you mean by ‘love’?” She blurted out quickly trying to stop him from leaving.
He glared at her, “It’s just a saying, don’t read anything into it… just, just leave me alone!” He croaked and tried to clear the lump in his throat. “I—I don’t want to see you, I’ll make sure you have food and water, you can use a flare ONLY in an emergency.” He cleared his throat again and fought at the pain telling him to just shut up. He watched her cover her face in her hands, “I—I uh, hope you enjoy your new home, Miss… H—Halo…”
With the last of his words, he saw her shoulders begin to tremble and he knew she was crying behind her hands. Part of him screamed at him to go to her and hold her, but he hung on to the excuse that he was worried that she would hit him again as she was acting so unlike the Halo he came to know. The temptation to stay was threatening to root him in place, but the pain in his chest was too much to bear. All he could think of was to get away. Without another look at her, he spun around, stepped off the deck and sprinted off towards camp.
Halo saw the depth of the hurt in his eyes as he turned to her on the deck, her heart felt flattened by what she saw. He had said, ‘people who love each other’ and she felt a burst of hope begin to inflate her heart. She had to ask and she did, but his answer was flippant as part of her expected. He was so upset and he had all the right in world to be, she had just hit him for no reason other than she did not get her way. She covered her face as she began to cry for hurting the man she had fallen for. Then his last words were so cold… like she was nothing to him now. Her heart pained like it had been stomped flat.
She fell to her knees with sobs quietly wracking her body. She became angry with herself as she thought about her pity party; it was her doing that caused this mess. With a shaking hand, she reached up to the bamboo railing and pulled herself up. Opening her eyes, she saw he was gone and knew she had to get to him—this was all her fault and he did not deserve how horribly unacceptable she treated him.
She headed off after him, questioning herself about why she was acting so unlike herself. Other than protecting herself from Johnny Stone, she had never hit anyone in anger in her entire life. Her mind reeled on how she was going to explain herself. ‘Sorry Xander, I turned into some psycho bitch from hell… but it was just for a moment!’ Yeah that will go over great she thought.
She picked up her pace on tired legs, down the narrow path back to camp thinking of what he revealed to her: Evie had hit him too. Fuck! She wanted so badly to treat him better than his wife and here she punched him and cut his beautiful face. Remembering his is look going from absolute shock to sadness then disappointment flattened her heart, she covered her mouth as a sob burst out and she tried to pick up her pace.
The way there, she tried to keep the pain in her heart at bay by distracting herself with questions on what in the hell could be wrong with her. Was she sick, did she have a brain tumor, did she have some sort of stress disorder? She kept rolling those questions around in her mind as camp came into view. She found a tree to slip behind as she looked around the camp from a distance.
Moving closer from tree to tree she finally saw him: he was sitting on the chair at their small table. She shaded her eyes from the sunlight filtering through the trees and focused on him. Her heart unexpectedly fell to the pit of her belly and felt flattened once more… his shoulders were bobbing up and down with his face buried in his hands. A few of his choked sobs reached her ears from the distance and suddenly her guts felt as if they were just kicked in by a mule. She hugged the tree as her tears sadly rolled down her fac
e and she sobbed out quietly, “Halo, what have you done?”
She berated herself for being selfish because of the pain she felt and began collecting herself to go to him. He suddenly stood straight up and knocked the table over angrily with his hand. She saw him wipe at his eyes and caught a glimpse of his face, it looked red and wet as he ran into the tent.
Suddenly his suitcase flew out from inside the tent and tumbled across the sand. It skidded to a stop as it kicked up a flurry of white sand. He stormed angrily up to it and for a moment, she thought he was going to kick it, but instead he dropped to his knees, unzipped the suitcase then began pulling some clothes out.
Her breath caught and knew she had to go to him, but she was frozen in place as she watched him fuss about angrily. He jammed the clothing under his arm, just when she thought he was going to get up he simply sat there kneeling in place staring into his suitcase.
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