Now that the idea is stuck in my head, my tenacious personality won’t let me change course. I’ve had fight for every inch of progress I’ve ever made, overcoming the odds stacked against me every day of my life. Today’s challenge is no different, only the stakes. When I was young, I was fighting for the food on our table and the roof over our heads. Tonight, I’m fighting for the one I’m sure I’m supposed to be with, even if I don’t know how that’s supposed to work.
What I do know is seeing her with someone else only confirmed I’m in way too deep with her. It’s been weeks since we parted, since I sabotaged everything we’d built between us, and this feeling hasn’t subsided or even diminished. Every time I see her is harder than the last, because I know what I had and what I’m missing.
My ringing cell snaps me out of my Daisy-induced obsession. When I glance at the screen, I’m relieved to see Kevin’s name instead of Juliana’s. Every call from her jacks my heart rate up, waiting for more unwelcome news.
“Hey, man. What’s up?”
“Are you busy, Rod? I need your advice on something.”
“I’m halfway between busy and not busy.”
“What the fuck does that mean?”
“I’m sitting outside the restaurant waiting for Daisy’s date to end so I can talk to her.”
The line goes silent for several seconds. I know he’s still there. He needs time to process my blunt confession.
“Leave her alone, man. She’s way out of your league, and she deserves someone who will treat her like a queen. You’re not the man for her and you know it.”
Wrong place. Wrong time. Wrong man.
Sometimes I think he knows me better than I know myself.
“What makes you say I’m not the man for her?” He may be right, but that statement stings coming from my best friend.
“Rod, I do not understand how you develop and nurture your business relationships the way you do. You can work the room, make people trust you with tens of millions of dollars, and seal deals when other companies can’t even get their foot in the door. Your clients love you.
“But you are clueless when it comes to how to treat women. What you did in Punta Cana was over the line, man. You don’t deserve a second chance with her. The sad part is, I think she’s kind enough to give you one. When she does, you’ll only use it to hurt her when she gets too close again. You’ll tuck your dick between your legs and run in the opposite direction like a scared little girl. Leave her alone and let her be happy.”
Now it’s my turn to sit here in stunned silence. The rain is coming down in solid sheets now with occasional gusts of wind to render umbrellas completely useless. Dark gray clouds cover the skies, threatening to release harder downpours at any time. Nothing could rival the storm swirling inside me, though.
“I want to apologize to her. She’s Isa’s teacher, so we’re stuck with each other at least until next summer.”
“You’re not fooling me, man. And I must be desperate to call you for relationship advice.” I can see Kevin shaking his head in disgust, with both of us.
“What’s going on with you and Tracy?”
“Never mind. I’ve changed my mind and don’t want to talk about it with you. I’m hanging up now. Drive home. Keep things professional between you and Daisy. Don’t screw it up more than you already have.”
He disconnects, but we both know I’m not taking his advice. I’m here, she’s here, and the conversation I’ve imagined is rooted in my head. We need to talk it out and move away from the mistakes of the past.
My mistakes.
When they finally emerge from the restaurant, I’m relieved to see them going in different directions toward their vehicles, walking fast with their heads down to keep the driving rain out of their eyes.
Nothing says, “you’re in the friend zone,” like going on a date in separate cars.
Cam reaches his first and drives away as I jump out of mine with an umbrella in hand. Daisy looks shocked to see me, but steps under the offered cover, regardless. The fact that he left her to walk through the parking lot alone, in the rain no less, thoroughly pisses me off.
“What are you still doing here, Rod?”
“Where did you park, in the lot across the street?” I chuckle but keep pace with her.
“At the end of this row. All the closer ones were taken when I got here. You didn’t answer me.”
“I’m still here because there’s something we need to talk about, and we need to be alone.”
“Is it about Isabelle or your sister?” She stops walking and looks up at me, her eyes and face expressionless.
“No, it’s not about either of them. It seems Kevin and Tracy are having problems. I know he’s crazy about her. What can we do to help the situation?” I’m grasping at straws, but I have to keep her talking.
She narrows her eyes, rightfully suspicious, but she loves her friend too much not to take the bait.
“The only thing we can do—be there as their moral support and cheerleaders when it all goes down.”
When what goes down? I should’ve made Kevin tell me what’s bothering him when I had the chance.
“Obviously. But there has to be something else we can do.”
She crosses her arms over her chest and glares at me. She knows. “You have no idea what the problem between them is, do you? What is this really about, Rod? I don’t have time for your lies and games.”
Time to man-up.
“It’s about you and me.”
“Let me stop you right there and save us both some time. First, there is no you and me to talk about. Second, there won’t be a you and me ever again. Third, you and I only had a vacation fling, nothing more, and vacation is over now. We’re back home, living our lives in the actual world. You don’t do relationships and I don’t do late-night booty calls. I’m Isa’s teacher. That’s the extent of our involvement.
“And, for the record, if Kevin is your best friend, you should already know what he’s facing and be prepared to support him. If the roles were reversed, he would’ve already been giving you advice and asking how he could help you.” She steps out from under the umbrella and continues on her way.
“Daisy, I miss you. I’m sorry for what I did to you at the water park. I’m sorry I was such a dick and hurt you when you absolutely didn’t deserve that. I’m asking for a second chance. What we felt was not just an island fling. It was real and you know it. You still feel it too. Don’t walk away now. We can move past this hurdle together.”
Her steps halt and she stands stock still for several heartbeats, the rain drenching her hair and clothes, but she doesn’t seem to notice. She slowly turns to face me again. I’m convinced the anger in her eyes would burn holes through me if I were any closer.
“You’re what? You’re sorry? If you think an apology makes it go away, you’re fucking crazy. I opened up to you, Rod. I trusted you in ways I’ve never trusted a man before, and never will again. What you did to me can’t be fixed with a simple apology and thinking I should just let it go. When you say ‘move past it,’ it’s essentially the same as telling me to get over it. You don’t get to belittle how you made me feel or pretend it never happened. You did this, Rod. You move past it. You let it go. You get over it. Without. Me.”
She turns on her heels and jogs the rest of the way to her car, leaving me standing in the middle of the aisle. The open umbrella hangs loosely at my side while the rain soaks through my clothes until my skin is drenched too. But it’s not the cold from the temperature outside that leaves me chilled to the bone.
I have to face the harsh facts, regardless of how much it hurts to admit. Not only am I a shitty boyfriend, I’m also a terrible friend to the best man I know.
The first thing I do when I’m in my car is call Kevin back.
“What?” His greeting isn’t exactly inviting, but I can’t blame him for not wanting to hear from me.
“Talk to me, man. Tell me what’s going on so I can help. Whatever
you need from me, you’ve got it. I’m sorry I’ve been MIA lately.”
He sighs heavily into the phone. “It’s okay, Rod. You have enough going on with Juliana and Isa as it is. Honestly, I forgot about that momentarily when I called you before because I’m so wrapped up in my own problems. The last thing I want to do is heap more onto your shoulders.”
“They’re wide enough to help carry your burdens, too. You’d do no less for me, no matter what else was happening in your world. We all have problems, man. Some may be lighter than others, but that doesn’t make them any less important. Talk to me. Let me help.”
“I’ll meet you at your house so you can get home to Juliana. We’ll have a beer or twelve and I’ll tell you all about it.”
“I’m on my way.”
When Kevin finishes telling me about the issues between him and Tracy, all I can do is stare while trying to formulate a coherent response.
“Shit, man.”
That’s the best I’ve got.
“Right?” At least he understands me.
“We are in the twenty-first century, aren’t we? I mean, I can’t believe people actually still think in those bass-ackward ways. You’re the best man for her, regardless of what color skin either of you has. I’ll stand shoulder to shoulder beside you, defending you with my last breath. Just tell me what I can do to help. You know I’ve got your back, Kevin.”
“For now, that’s enough. When I figure out how best to approach this, I’ll let you know. If you come up with any bright ideas, throw them my way, brother. I need all the help I can get.”
“I’ll do my best.”
“You waited for Daisy, didn’t you?” He needs a change of subject, I get it. That one is still sore, though.
“Yeah, I did.” I recount the entire conversation, including how I realized what a terrible friend I am, and wait for his agreement.
“You’ve never been a terrible friend to me, Rod. We’ve been best friends since middle school, but you never allowed me to ride your coattails. You helped me realize the value of hard work and applying myself to learn everything I can at an early age. But you were always there to pick me up and dust me off when I fell, and there hasn’t been one day I’ve doubted your friendship.”
“Don’t make me cry. You’ve already called me a little girl today as it is.” We laugh and take another swig of beer. “You don’t give yourself enough credit. You were already working hard and making your own way. We simply encouraged each other to keep doing better than we did the day before.”
“You know I’ve got nothing but love for you, brother, so believe me when I say this. You are the wrong man for Daisy. I know the word failure isn’t in your vocabulary, but you have to accept defeat in this situation. You tried to make it work, then you tried to fix your mistakes, and both attempts ended in disaster. Now stay away from her so she can be happy with someone else.”
I can’t make that promise, even if it would be for the best.
After we finish the twelve-pack, Kevin takes the bedroom in the area where the man cave is and where we’ve spent the night drinking and talking. He’d normally sleep in the guest bedroom upstairs, but he understands the need to distance himself from Juliana.
Since Juliana officially moved in with me after her hospital stint, we’ve taken extra precautions and kept visitors away to avoid passing germs to her. The treatments she has to kill the cancer are brutal, decimating her immune system to the point a common cold could kill her. Even Isa has become an expert on washing her hands and being careful around her mom.
Still, Juliana insists on being part of the meeting with Daisy tomorrow night. Not that I don’t understand her need to be part of her daughter’s life. I’m just trying to keep them both in mine.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Daisy
Knowing I had to go to Rod’s after work made today the longest day I’ve experienced in years. I think I looked at the clock every minute of the day, watching the second hand tick at a relentlessly slow pace. I don’t mind going to meet with him and Juliana to talk about Isa, but anything personal is off-limits. His apology was more insulting than endearing, and my anger and humiliation haven’t diminished.
He’s in my life by necessity, but I’m not allowing him back into my heart by choice.
Cam and I had the same free period today, so we spent it together mapping out possibilities for expanding the summer camp to help more students than ever before. He has as much enthusiasm about this project as I do, and it’s so refreshing to have someone else to share the load. He asked about Rod in a roundabout way, but he was respectful to not cross the line into prying. There’s no way Cam didn’t feel the tension while Rod stood beside our table, so I admitted to meeting Rod before realizing his niece attended our school.
I left the conversation with a very vague reference of “meeting” him. There’s no need to get into the intimate details.
The intimate details should be the last thought on my mind as I drive to Rod’s. I jotted down his address from the updated forms he turned in to the office with the guardianship papers. Tracy and Kevin said he was well known in certain circles for his lucrative business, but I had no idea he’d amassed this level of wealth until I pull into his gated driveway.
Thick woods line each side of the drive and surround the enormous mansion, providing complete privacy. The lush lawns and shrubbery beds are professionally manicured and maintained. Directly in front of the long, palatial steps leading to the door is an ornate fountain with choreographed spurts of water, creating a circular drive in front of the house.
I’ve never seen such a posh home in person, so I’m not entirely sure what the proper protocol is. Erring on the side of caution, I pull around to the far side of the fountain and park out of the way before Landen and I make our way to the front door. When I press the doorbell, elegant chimes ring throughout the multi-level entryway. Within seconds, a staff member dressed in a stylish suit welcomes me inside.
The tailor-made suits, expensive watches, and overall wealthy air that Rod exudes in person never could’ve prepared me for the opulence I see all around me. I feel very underdressed and overwhelmed simply standing in this enormous living room while we wait for the lord of the manor to arrive.
“Hi. You must be Daisy and Landen.” I turn to find a stunning young woman smiling at us from the doorway. Her head is covered with a long stylish scarf that matches her outfit. “It’s so nice to meet you both at last. I’m Juliana, Isabelle’s mom.”
“There’s no doubt about that.” I laugh lightly as I extend my hand. “Isa looks exactly like you.”
“She’s my mini-me, that’s for sure.”
Isa comes bounding into the room, full of energy and smiles. She wraps her arms around her mom’s leg and looks up at her with the most adoring expression for a moment. The bond between mother and daughter is made of steel, that much is clear. Then she turns her attention to Landen and me with a shy smile and red-tinged cheeks.
“Hi, Miss Daisy.” She waves at me by wiggling her little fingers up and down.
“Hi, sweetheart. Do you remember Landen from the other day?”
“Uh huh.” She nods enthusiastically and her cheeks turn a deeper shade of red.
“Yeah, I remember you too.” Landen smiles at Isa.
“Why don’t you two come in the kitchen? Louise, the house manager, made an entire buffet of delicious food for us. Then the kids can enjoy the playroom while we chat.” Juliana absently strokes Isa’s hair, but I see the signs of a loving family very clearly. Isa knows she’s loved by both of her caretakers, but her sense of security comes from her mother.
“That sounds perfect, but I hope you didn’t go to any trouble for us.”
“It’s my pleasure, and it’s no trouble at all. I’m grateful to have an adult female to talk to for a change. My best friend, Karen, has been traveling for work a lot, so I’ve been stuck here with Rod. Alone. I love my brother and I don’t know what I’d do without him, b
ut there’s only so much testosterone I can take.”
“Oh, I already like you. You and I will become best friends, I can tell.”
“I certainly hope so. I can’t whip my brother into shape by myself. If twenty-five years as his sister has taught me anything, it’s that he’s as stubborn as he is generous. Come on, let’s feed these kids so we can have some girl time.”
We follow her into the enormous gourmet kitchen. My jaw drops when I see the expansive spread with too many types of food to count. An older lady is busy at the double wall oven, removing hot scones that smell so good they make my mouth water.
“This is Louise. She manages everything related to the house, the staff, and she keeps Rod in line in her spare time.” All three of us laugh, knowing there’s not much chance of that, and Louise and I exchange hellos.
“Make yourself at home, my dears. The house may look formal, but nothing could be further from the truth.” Louise plates the desserts and urges us to eat as much as we want.
When I look to Juliana to let her go first, I realize the walk between the living room and kitchen depleted any energy she had when I first arrived. Her skin is pale, and she’s gripping the back of the chair to remain standing.
Though I’m not certain of exactly what she’s going through, I know Rod has temporary custody of Isa. Glenna said Juliana has cancer, but she didn’t have more information than that. Nothing about the prognosis, type, or how long she’ll be out of commission. The scarf tied around her head and draped over her shoulder must be to hide her hair loss, so my best guess is she’s undergoing treatments now.
“Juliana, why don’t you have a seat with the kids, and I’ll make our plates. You’ve already done so much, it’s the least I can do.”
All I Want: Rod & Daisy (All Of Me Duet Book 1) Page 21