“Sweetheart, it was a long time ago, before you and I started spending so much time together. It never meant anything to either one of us. There wasn’t a relationship, not even a short-term one. It was nothing more than a fling. You have to believe that.”
“Then why the big production about it?”
“Because I didn’t want you to find out about it later and wonder if the only reason I brought her here was because we still had something going on. I swear to you it was over practically before it got started, and it was way before you and I began spending all this time together. It’s been years, Susie, so you have to believe it’s truly over.”
Susie frowned, but she didn’t burst into tears. He considered that a positive sign.
“Okay,” she said softly. “Thank you for being up-front with me.”
“So how would you feel about it?” he prodded. “If it’s going to make you uncomfortable in any way or make things tense between us, it won’t happen.”
Mack saw the struggle she was having with herself, fighting her fears, trying to be fair. He should have called his plan off right then, but he didn’t. He waited.
“She’s the best person for the job?” Susie asked, her expression bleak.
“I think she is,” he said.
She lifted her chin. “Then there’s no choice,” she said, suddenly determined. “You have to hire her.”
“And you’ll be okay with it?”
“I’ll deal with it,” she said staunchly. “Don’t worry about me.”
Because he wanted so badly to make the deal with the bank come together, Mack ignored all the promises he’d made to himself earlier and chose to take her at her word.
Still, he felt compelled to add, “If you ever have a moment’s doubt about this, just say the word and she’ll go.”
“Do you love me?”
He held her gaze. “You know I do.”
“Then I won’t have any reason for doubts, will I?”
The words were brave, but there was no mistaking the flicker of worry in her eyes. It gave Mack pause, but in the end he convinced himself that hiring Kristen was the right thing to do. Making this newspaper happen was not just for him. It was for him and Susie, and for whatever family they were able to have down the road. The decision was for their future. The past simply couldn’t enter into it. He wouldn’t let it.
Susie told herself she was fine with Mack’s plan to bring an old lover into town. She had his ring. She had his devoted attention. But it was a lot harder to remember all that once the bank had approved the loan and he was fully engaged with actually getting the business off the ground. It was even harder once she’d gotten her first glimpse of Kristen Lewis.
“She’s a blasted cover model,” Susie griped to Shanna while having coffee at Shanna’s bookstore. “Have you had a look at her? What was I thinking?”
“You were thinking that she was the key to getting this newspaper venture off the ground,” Shanna reminded her. “Mack laid everything out for you. If you had reservations, you should have spoken up. He gave you every opportunity to do that.”
“And I would have sounded like some insecure woman who was terrified that someone was going to steal her man. I couldn’t do that, not with him looking at me like I held the answer to his entire future.”
“Don’t be dramatic,” Shanna scolded. “That’s Bree’s domain. She’s the family playwright.”
Susie sighed and sipped at her cappuccino. For once it wasn’t making her stomach flip over. It might be decaf, but it was better than nothing. She’d missed these afternoon gabfests with her friend, though not so much Shanna’s straight talk that called her on everything.
“Invite her to dinner,” Shanna suggested.
Susie stared at her incredulously. “You want me to invite Mack’s ex-lover into my home?”
“You want reassurance, don’t you? Get a good look at how they act together. Mack loves you, sweetie. I think you’ll see that their relationship now is strictly professional. He knows an entire town will come down on him hard if he allows anything else.”
Susie permitted herself a grin. “That might be fun to watch. Maybe I should tip off Matthew and Luke, or even Uncle Mick, and let them have at her.”
Shanna shook her head. “You are a perverse woman.”
Susie laughed. “Apparently so. Okay, enough about me. How are you feeling? Is the pregnancy progressing the way it’s supposed to?”
“Everything’s right on schedule,” Shanna said, beaming. “We might be able to tell the baby’s gender on the next sonogram, but Kevin and I are arguing about whether we want to know. He’s all for waiting. I want to know now, especially if it’s a girl.” Her expression lit up. “We are going to have so much shopping to do, if it is. I can hardly wait to start buying frilly little pink dresses. This family already has too many rambunctious little boys.”
“Don’t forget Caitlyn and Carrie. Once upon time, they were little angels, but now they’re twin troublemakers,” Susie reminded her. “I can hardly wait to see how Abby and Trace cope with them once they hit their teens.”
Shanna chuckled. “Something tells me that Trace is going to be one of those fathers who scares off every boy who comes to the house. He might be their stepfather, but he’s the kind of dad who pays attention to everything those two are up to. Since he works at home, they certainly won’t be able to sneak anything past him.” Shanna’s grin spread. “Abby’s counting on that, I think.”
She hesitated, then added carefully, her worried gaze on Susie as she spoke, “She’s thinking it might be a good time for them to have a baby. They’re talking about it. I think she’s finally convinced that Trace isn’t going to demand she quit her job the second she gives birth the way Wes did when the twins were born.”
Susie felt a momentary twinge of jealousy at the news, then forced a cheerful expression. “That’s great!”
Shanna regarded her apologetically. “I’m so sorry, Susie. It must be hard on you hearing all this baby talk.”
“It was when you first told me you and Kevin were expecting, but I’m past that now,” Susie assured her. “There’s no point in looking back. I can’t have my own biological children, but as soon as things settle down and my treatments are behind me, I’m going to talk to Mack about starting the adoption process.”
“How does he feel about that?” Shanna asked. “Did you discuss it before your surgery?”
Susie nodded. “He said he was open to the idea. It can be a lengthy process, so I don’t want to wait too long to get started. Connor said he’d help me try to find some kind of private adoption if that’s the way we decide to go. His old law firm in Baltimore has some experience with those.”
Shanna looked genuinely pleased for her. “Oh, sweetie, I’m so happy for you. That would be fantastic! You and Mack will make amazing parents.”
“You might mention that to him sometime. He’s not so sure about his own parenting skills, given his lousy examples, but I think he’ll be a great father precisely because of what he went through.”
“Childhood experiences certainly mold us into the adults we become,” Shanna agreed. “Sometimes for the better, sometimes not. I think Mack is one of those who learned from all the mistakes his parents made.”
“I agree,” Susie said. She stood up. “I’d better get home, though I’m honestly not sure why I’m rushing. If Mack even makes it home before I’m asleep, he grabs a quick bite and is right back out the door.”
Shanna frowned. “Are you okay with that?”
“It’s great to see him so excited about work again. He’s throwing himself into getting this paper off the ground. I just wish I could be involved somehow. Maybe then I wouldn’t be freaking out quite so much about him spending all this time with the gorgeous Kristen.”
“Tell him that,” Shanna advised. “Be a part of it, if that’s what you want, Susie. Don’t let him shut you out, even unintentionally.” A wicked gleam lit her eyes. “Or you could greet
him in one of those scraps of lingerie I bought for you. That ought to keep him from heading right back out the door.”
“Are you suggesting I use sex to keep my husband’s attention?” Susie asked, not sure whether to be indignant or intrigued by the idea.
“It’s a surefire solution,” Shanna said. “Worked like magic with Kevin when he started spending a little too much time in Annapolis working with Thomas’s foundation.” She rested a hand against her belly. “How do you think we wound up pregnant?”
Susie chuckled. “That’s quite a recommendation,” she agreed, then hugged her friend. “Thanks for listening.”
“Anytime. You know that.”
Susie headed straight home, pulled the sexy black lingerie from her drawer and eyed it speculatively. But when she went to put it on, it no longer fit. The steroids she’d been taking had added pounds. More than she’d realized, in fact. Looking in the mirror at the material that now stretched far too tightly across her butt, she felt tears welling up in her eyes. Nor did the scrap of lace in front do much to conceal the abdominal scar from her surgery. The bra wouldn’t even hook in back.
She grabbed her favorite terry-cloth robe from the closet and belted it tightly as the tears streaked down her cheeks. She was still sitting there when she heard Mack’s key turn in the lock. “Susie!”
She brushed uselessly at her cheeks. “In here,” she said. “Give me a minute. I’ll be right out.”
But he didn’t wait. He walked in, caught a glimpse of her face and his expression fell.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, panic threading through his voice.
Unable to reply, she held up the lacy panties as if the sight of them alone would explain.
Mack merely looked puzzled.
“They…” Her voice caught on a sob. “They don’t fit. Nothing sexy fits.”
She saw the relief in his eyes and knew then just how badly she’d scared him, though he was clearly struggling to sympathize.
“I’ll buy you ten new pairs of panties tomorrow,” he offered.
She frowned. “That is so not the point.”
“Then what is? I’m trying here, Susie, but you have to help me out.”
“I’m fat. I wanted to be sexy and seduce you, but now I can’t.”
He shook his head. “You are far from fat. You’re still the most beautiful, sexiest woman I know. Frankly, all that lace just got in the way. I was terrified of ripping it to shreds.” He slipped a hand inside her robe. “Give me a good, sturdy terry-cloth robe anytime. No straps. No tricky hooks. I just have to loosen the belt a little.” He suited action to words. “Then slide it down one shoulder.”
His gaze fell on her exposed breasts. “And there you are,” he said, his breath hitching in a way that reassured her as his words hadn’t. “Ripe, gorgeous and all mine.”
“Oh, Mack,” she whispered, shrugging out of the robe and clinging to his shoulders.
He was right. Lingerie only got in the way. This, his skin against hers, was all that mattered—that and the unmistakable love she saw shining in his eyes.
Mack hadn’t realized until sometime in the middle of the night that he’d never called Kristen to let her know he wasn’t coming back to the paper. Not that he owed her an explanation. He was the boss, after all, but they’d planned to go over the website design one last time to make sure every element was exactly right. They hoped to go live with it next week, and there were still plenty of decisions left to be made. Though he trusted her judgment in this area, he wanted to be involved in every aspect of the paper’s launch online and in print.
There was already a lot of buzz about it around town. Local businesses were even more eager than he’d anticipated to have an outlet for advertising their products and their sales. Realtors loved having access to both online audiences and those who still preferred to get their news and their housing options from a paper. Mack was feeling more and more confident about the venture’s prospects.
When he walked into the offices he’d found just off of Main Street in a row dominated by accountants, insurance agencies and other service-oriented businesses, Kristen glanced up from her computer. She frowned when she saw him.
“Decide to play hooky last night?” she asked lightly, though there was no mistaking the edge in her voice.
“I should have called,” he apologized. “Something came up.”
“I’ll just bet it did,” she said knowingly. “Your wife got jealous of all the time we’re spending together.”
Now it was his turn to frown. “Susie’s not like that. She’s totally on board with what we’re doing. She knows it takes a lot of hard work and long hours.”
“But when you left here, you were planning to come back. Why the change of plans? What did she do? Something to make you feel guilty, I’ll bet.”
Mack didn’t like the direction of the conversation. It hinted of a possessiveness that was totally inappropriate. Even though he might be oblivious to a lot of what went on in women’s minds, he was smart enough to read between the lines.
“Kristen, what’s this really about? I thought you and I had an understanding. You moving to Chesapeake Shores and taking this job is strictly professional. There’s nothing between us anymore. If you think otherwise, if it’s going to be a problem, then we need to reassess the situation.”
She inhaled sharply at his direct words, then sighed. “Sorry. I did sound like a jealous shrew there for a minute, didn’t I? You’re a newlywed. Of course there are going to be times you want to be with your wife. I just wish you’d called to let me know. I hung out here for hours.”
“You’re right about me letting you know. I’ll be more considerate in the future.”
She hesitated, then met his gaze. “Working with you like this, it’s harder than I expected it to be,” she admitted. “I thought all those old feelings were dead and buried, but I guess they’re not, after all. I’ll do my best to make sure it doesn’t become a problem.”
“Maybe if you met Susie, had dinner with us or something,” he began in an attempt to try to give her some perspective on exactly where she stood in his life.
She was shaking her head before he could finish. “Not just yet, okay? I’m not quite ready to deal with you and the whole wedded-bliss thing.”
“But Kristen, I am happily married. That’s reality.”
“I know. I get it. That doesn’t mean I want my face rubbed in it just yet. I will respect the boundaries, though.” She sketched an exaggerated cross across her chest. “Promise.”
“That’s good enough for me. But if this gets too uncomfortable for you, say the word and I’ll do whatever it takes to help you land another job. I’d hate not having you here, because you’re the best at this whole internet news business, but I don’t want to screw with your head.”
She grinned at that. “My head’s just fine, thank you. You may be sexy and intriguing and all that, but there are other fish in the sea. I just need to get my stilettos on and go fishing.”
Mack laughed. “Now, there’s an image that’ll make a man’s heart take a dive. If you drove a pickup, you’d be some guy’s ideal.”
She rolled her eyes at that. “My convertible suits me just fine.”
“That’ll work, too,” Mack said. “Want me to fix you up?”
“Absolutely not,” she said, looking genuinely horrified. “The day I need an ex to start finding my dates for me, I’ll throw in the towel and surround myself with cats.”
“Something tells me that’s not going to be your fate,” he said candidly. “If you’d get out of this office for a couple of hours, you’d have the men of Chesapeake Shores swooning all over you.”
“Good idea. Where do the singles in this town hang out?”
“The bar at Brady’s draws a good singles crowd on the weekends. We get a lot of sophisticated out-of-towners there, too.”
She nodded. “Brady’s tonight, then,” she said cheerfully.
But the shadows in her eyes su
ggested she wasn’t nearly as happy about the prospect as she tried to sound.
15
Laila rolled over in bed, debated waking Matthew and decided against it. It was easier to slip out in the middle of the night without his entreaties that she stay. In fact, it was getting more and more difficult for her to leave him at all. She’d tried to do it back in the fall, to walk away from what she knew was a terrible mistake.
She’d refused to join his family on Thanksgiving until Jess had pressured her to come. Even after she’d agreed to attend the awkward holiday meal, she’d tried to keep some distance between her and Matthew. He’d challenged her on it, they’d argued and she’d left. She’d been a little surprised that no one in the family had picked up on that. Then again, the focus had been on Mack and Susie and the obvious tension between them.
Even after last night—yet another amazing night—she knew she had to end it. Right now it was all about making love, about the way Matthew made her feel like an incredibly sexy, desirable woman, but she could envision a time when it could turn into something more. That scared her to death. Matt was too young to be ready to settle down and she was starting to hear her biological clock ticking so loudly it could probably be heard across town.
“Laila?” he murmured sleepily just as she pulled on her boots.
“Go back to sleep,” she said softly. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
Most nights that was all it took to have him wrapping his arms around a pillow and falling straight back to sleep, but apparently not tonight. Instead, he climbed out of bed and pulled on his boxers, giving her a momentary glimpse of a body that made her heart stutter. He walked over and stood in front of her, put his hands on her shoulders and looked directly into her eyes. His, as blue as midnight, were entrancing. Right now they were also troubled.
“This has to stop,” he said.
“What?” she asked, not wanting to be drawn into the conversation she knew was inevitable.
“You sneaking out of here in the middle of the night like you’re ashamed of what’s going on between us,” he explained impatiently. “Would it be so terrible if someone saw us leaving here together in the morning?”
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