She made her escape, but it wasn't his fiancée Fraser's eyes followed or whose conversation engaged his attention. Agreeing absently to her suggestion that they should swim, he brooded on his recent conversation with Bethan. And to think only a few days ago he had been telling himself she'd got off lightly! Lightly! Dear God, only now was he beginning to understand what she'd gone through, what she was still suffering.
Knowing herself responsible for someone's death would have been hard enough for any eighteen-year-old girl to come to terms with, even with the help and support of her family and friends, but thanks to her stepbrother's machinations Bethan had had no support at all. She'd had to face up to her guilt and remorse entirely alone, believing what she had done to be so unforgivable that the family and friends she had grown up with wanted nothing more to do with her. Little wonder that her sense of guilt was so deep-rooted she hadn't been able to put the tragic episode behind her. And he had to bear some of the responsibility for that himself. He'd stood aside and let it happen, believing Mark Latimer's lies, too shattered by his own disillusion, too eaten up with jealous rage to
question them.
He was appalled at his own blindness, at the way he had failed her, seeing himself as the injured party. And all the time she had seen his lack of support as proof that he, like everyone else, had found what she had done unforgivable. And it couldn't have helped that everything he'd said to her since finding her here at Vine House had confirmed her in that belief. When he remembered some of his accusations he wished he could cut out his tongue.
The scars on her body had shocked him, tearing at his heart and filling him with a helpless anger, yet the mental and emotional scars were even more terrible, and the knowledge that he had inflicted some of those himself was insupportable. There had to be a way he could reach her, convince her she didn't have to go on paying for the rest of her life for that one tragic action. He'd failed her once, but now fate was giving him a second chance, and this time he meant to grasp it with both hands.
At that moment Siriol surfaced beside him in the water. Her face alive with laughter she swept the wet hair out of her eyes with her hands. But as the sun glinted on the diamond he had put on her finger only a short time ago, Fraser found it impossible to smile back.
As Bethan entered the house from the garden, Molly Flowerdew was just admitting Dr Stratton at the front door. Alarmed that something had happened while she had been at the pool, she hurried forward. 'Lorna—she's not fallen or something?'
`No, my dear no one's called me out,' the doctor hastened to assure her. 'This is more of a social call. I thought it would be pleasant to put my feet up here for half an hour, especially if Molly can produce some of her delicious scones.' He cocked an eye at the housekeeper who beamed back at him.
`You take the doctor through to the sitting-room, Miss Bethan. I'll have them scones buttered in five minutes.' Molly hurried away to the kitchen.
`You've been in the pool, I see.' For all his balding head and growing paunch, the doctor eyed Bethan's long slim legs appreciatively.
Half expecting his disapproval she said defensively, `Mr Laurie has already taken me to task for swimming alone.'
`Has he now? Well, I'd say you've got a sensible head on your shoulders and I reckon you wouldn't have gone in if you hadn't felt up to it,' was his disarming reply. `Though maybe it isn't a good idea to hang around too long in those wet clothes. Come and join us when you've changed.' He stumped towards the sitting-room and Bethan obediently ran up the stairs.
It took her no longer than ten minutes to shower and dress so when she returned to the sitting-room she was surprised to see Fraser, his dark hair gleaming damply, sitting with his aunt and the doctor, and Siriol nowhere in evidence. She was very much aware of his grey eyes raking over her as she entered the room quietly, though she couldn't read their expression, and she hoped very much his appearance at tea didn't mean he and his fiancée had quarrelled.
Molly brought in the tea-trolley and the conversation was general as they all tucked into her scones and the light sponge cake that melted on the tongue.
`I can see both my patients are recovering their appetite.' For all his own apparent dedication to Molly's delicacies, Dr Stratton had been watchful. `In fact I'd say Lorna in particular has picked up marvellously again.'
`Thanks to Bethan.' Lorna's blue eyes twinkled at her fondly. `She looks after me like a daughter, bullies me so gently into obeying orders I don't even know she's doing it most of the time.'
Bethan flushed, denying the accolade. `But I've done
so little. In fact half the time you've had to look after me, Lorna, and I feel bad about that.' She could feel Fraser's eyes on her, accusingly she was sure, though she couldn't bring herself to look.
'And maybe that's what's wrought the miracle,' Dr Stratton said thoughtfully. 'You've made her feel needed, Bethan, given her a purpose, something to get well for.'
'And maybe you're right at that,' Lorna laughed. 'Whatever the cause I do feel better. Oh, my hip still pains me of course, but I certainly seem to have recovered my energy.'
'And that's all we've been waiting for.' The doctor leaned back in his chair, eyeing Lorna approvingly. 'I think I can at last begin to set things in motion for your operation, my dear.'
'But is my aunt really strong enough to face that yet?' Fraser demanded, and something in his voice had them all looking at him curiously. 'There's no sense in rushing things while she has Bethan here to make sure she doesn't slip back.'
'But my dear boy, you were the one who talked me into agreeing to have the operation in the first place, to get me mobile again.' Lorna looked at him with amused bewilderment. 'You were the one who advocated the least possible delay, nagging me night and day to have a nurse to get me well again as quickly as possible. And I am well again. In fact I'm feeling more vigorous than I have done in years.' Seeing her sparkling eyes and teasing smile, Bethan could believe it. She had put on a little weight too, filling out the floral silk dress she wore much better than she had done when Bethan first arrived at Vine House.
'All right.' Fraser made a capitulating gesture. 'Of course I want to see you walking without pain again, Lorna. And if you're sure you feel up to it ...' His steely gaze lanced unexpectedly at Bethan. 'Just as long as Bethan doesn't see the operation as a signal for her to go rushing back to work for the relief agency.'
`But of course she mustn't,' Lorna said at once. 'I wouldn't dream of letting her go before she's fully fit.'
`No need to worry on that score,', Dr Stratton said comfortably. 'It'll be two or three weeks before the arrangements are complete to get Lorna admitted to hospital, say three weeks before she's home again, and I'm sure she'll be glad of her nurse's services for a couple of weeks after that. That gives us another two months to get Bethan up to strength again, ample time at the rate of progress she's making.'
'Two months! You really think two months is going to make her fit enough to face all that again—the killing climate, privations, disease, semi-starvation, not to mention stray bombs and bullets?' Fraser spoke with a barely restrained violence, a whiteness round his mouth.
Bethan sat rigid in her chair, her hands clasped fiercely together in her lap, aware of Lorna's surprise at her nephew's outburst turning to speculation as her bright blue eyes flicked from Fraser to Bethan and back again. 'I'm sure you're right,' Lorna agreed. 'We must do all we can to persuade her to stay on. Perhaps you and Siriol could take her out sometimes, introduce her to some of the younger folk around here. If she meets a nice young man ...'
Bethan's cheeks burned, because Lorna seemed to be telling her not to read too much into Fraser's concern, reminding her that he was engaged to be married and so was not free to show too much interest in her-Bethan's—welfare. Remembering Fraser's appalled expression when he had seen her scars, Bethan wanted to reassure his aunt she need have no fears on that score, that any concern Fraser displayed was only prompted by pity, but Dr Stratton was already ri
sing reluctantly from his chair to take his leave.
'Well, the longer you can persuade Nurse Steele to stay the better.' he said, 'Though I'm happy with her progress. Keep up the swimming, my dear. A bit of
gentle exercise will give you a healthy appetite. Do you ride? It's a very good way of seeing more of the countryside while you're here without overtaxing yourself.'
'I—I used to,' Bethan admitted. But it's a long time ago, and I don't know if there are any riding stables around here.'
'I can find a mount for you,' Fraser said tersely, following the doctor out of the room and leaving Bethan staring after him.
He didn't return to the sitting-room to enlarge on his offer and after time for thought Bethan hoped he might forget it. She wished he hadn't caught her at the pool earlier, wished even more fervently she hadn't been shaken into talking to him of things she had never spoken of to anyone before. It had altered things between them in some indefinable way. Much as his earlier antagonism had disturbed her, it had been easier to fight than his pity. Any show of concern from him weakened her defences against him, making it all too easy to deceive herself into believing he might return the feelings that sometimes threatened to overwhelm her, when all she knew of him told her loud and clear that it was only wishful thinking. And even if he had felt some small, measure of the attraction that drew her so inexorably to him, she told herself firmly, it couldn't make any difference. Both their lives were mapped out, his with Siriol, the wife he had chosen, hers paying off the debt for the life she had destroyed. Much better that for the remaining weeks of her enforced stay at Vine House she should see as little of him as possible.
But after she had helped Lorna change for dinner and had slipped on another of her clean but worn cotton shirts, she accompanied her employer downstairs again, to find both Fraser and Siriol waiting for them in the sitting-room. Siriol looked very pretty and very much the rich man's daughter in a floor-length chiffon dress of glowing red that exposed a tantalising amount
of tanned and well-rounded young shoulders. But it was to Fraser that Bethan's eyes were irresistibly drawn, his light grey trousers and matching tailored shirt emphasising his brooding darkness, and when for several breathless seconds his eyes met and held hers it was like leaving something of herself behind when she tore her gaze away and helped Lorna into her chair. Lorna too. though not -es formally dressed as Siriol, had made some concession to evening wear, and Bethan couldn't help feeling consciously shabby in her plain cotton knee-length skirt that was her only alternative to trousers, and after settling Lorna comfortably she selected a chair outside their charmed circle as Fraser moved lithely from the drinks tray to hand his aunt her glass of sherry.
'Won't you let me get you a drink, Bethan?' He turned to her persuasively. `Sherry ... martini ... perhaps a glass of our own wine?'
`Thank you, no.' Bethan shook her head firmly and was surprised to see the angry tightening of his mouth.
'One small drink isn't likely to send you off the rails again, you know,' he grated in a voice too low for the others to hear, but when Bethan flinched, her eyes stricken, he muttered, 'Oh hell! I'm sorry ...'
'Is my fiancé telling you off again, Bethan? Come and sit over here by me, I'll protect you.' Siriol patted the sofa at her side but her smile was strained, her voice slightly too high to be natural. Darting a wary glance at Fraser, Bethan did as she asked.
'I understand Dr Stratton's given the okay for Aunt Lorna's operation to go ahead,' Siriol went on, and again Bethan found herself glancing at Fraser, wondering if he had confided in his fiancée his initial inexplicable opposition to the operation. `Does that mean you'll be leaving us soon to go back to the relief agency?'
Bethan couldn't help but be aware of the hope in the other girl's voice, even as she was aware of Fraser's
SHBEL'S PARTY
dark brooding gaze on her though she couldn't bring herself to meet it.
'It'll be a few weeks yet, but yes, as soon as Lorna's fully recovered again,' she said quietly.
I'll have to let the rest of my family know as soon as Dr Stratton's given me a date,' Lorna herself joined in.
I've already telephoned Ishbel this evening.' Fraser tossed off the rest of his whisky. I wanted to give her time to arrange things to be here.'
Lorna looked amazed. Ishbel! Fraser dear, much as I'd love to see her, surely she doesn't think it necessary to come all the way from Australia on my account? It's not as if I'm ill.'
`Sorry to disillusion you, my love.' Fraser was attempting to keep the whole thing light but not quite succeeding. It isn't entirely on your account.' He walked across to the drinks tray and replenished his glass and Bethan noticed he spilt some as if his hand was not quite steady. 'I told my sister you were here,' he went on, turning back to face Bethan directly. 'She's very keen to see you before you disappear into the blue again.'
Bethan's startled eyes tried to read his expression that seemed to register little beyond a grim determination. And before she could fully assimilate the news that her old friend apparently lived now in Australia and that she was prepared to come all the way back to England just so they could meet, Siriol was saying with a surprise that was almost accusing, 'Bethan knows your sister?'
There was an oddly charged silence that Bethan hurried to fill. 'Ishbel and I were at school together, Siriol, but we lost touch when ' she hesitated and settled for the least complicated explanation, '—when I took up nursing. I didn't even know she lived in Australia.'
'She married an Aussie—Grant Shuster—and helps him run a vineyard many times the size of this one.'
Fraser had come to stand in front of her so she had to crane her neck to look up at him. He went on deliberately, 'It's been a very successful marriage, they're very happy. They have two small boys whom lshbel intends to bring with her on this trip, even if Grant can't make it.'
Bethan's green eyes widened and a tinge of colour stained her cheeks. Was he trying to make her envious of lshbel's good fortune? Remembering telling him only that afternoon that the things other women took for granted—a husband and family—were not for her, it seemed very much like it. But she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing his jibe had hurt.
'I'm very glad Ishbel found the right man,' she said softly. 'I never did believe she was really in love with my stepbrother. She only imagined it because ' she broke off just in time, realising she had been about to say, 'because she knew I was in love with you,' and amended it to, 'because she was only in love with love.'
'But if you knew Ishbel, you must have known Fraser too!' Siriol broke in, looking from one to the other. 'And yet that first night after you came home, Fraser, you behaved as if Bethan was a stranger.'
And a stranger he didn't at all like, Bethan remembered tensely. His antagonism that first night had been obvious to everyone. 'You must remember I was still a child when I used to go to Merrifields.' She forced a smile for Siriol. 'You really couldn't expect him to remember the carroty-haired brat who used to pester him.'
Siriol's dark eyes still registered doubt as she turned them up to her fiancé. 'But you did remember her, didn't you, Fraser?' she said with uncanny perception. 'So why did you try to make us believe you didn't?'
Bethan was aware that Lorna too was waiting for Fraser's answer, and though she would have liked to help him out of a difficult spot her tongue seemed stuck to the roof of her mouth.
'There had been—misunderstandings,' Fraser said at last. 'Over the way we lost touch with Bethan. And that's why Ishbel's so keen to get here to see her now.'
His answer relieved the tension, and though Bethan was sure Siriol was curious to know what those 'misunderstandings' had been, she wisely didn't ask, and happily Molly arrived just then with the dinner-trolley.
That night Bethan slept heavily, more tired than she'd been since her collapse by the time she got to bed after a day that seemed to have been loaded with tension. Though the conversation had moved to safer topics with the arrival of t
he meal, Bethan had all too often been conscious of Fraser's darkly brooding gaze on her, yet every time her own eyes had been drawn to him he had been looking elsewhere.
But in spite of sleeping so heavily she was awake very early the next morning, and unable to lie in bed, she showered and dressed. There was no mist portending another hot day this morning, only grey skies and a wind that tossed tendrils of honeysuckle and rambler-rose against her window-pane. Shivering, Bethan pulled on her cotton jacket over her shirt and wished that on her one trip to Framlingham in her first week at Vine House she had bought something warmer to wear.
She was brushing her hair, believing herself to be the only one stirring in the house when she was surprised by a brief knock on her door before it opened. While she still stared at him open-mouthed, Fraser, fully dressed in dark cord hip-hugging trousers and a thick Aran sweater, said casually, 'Oh good, you're ready, I see.'
Her temper spurted. For all he'd known or cared she might have been half-naked when he'd burst in! 'I'm dressed, luckily,' she responded tartly. 'But what I'm supposed to be ready for, I'm afraid I can't guess.'
His eyes gleamed but the mockery in them was softened as his mouth curved in a heart-stopping grin.
I
'Why, to go riding, of course. Didn't we arrange it yesterday?'
He knew damn well they'd arranged nothing after he'd thrown out his terse offer, but the thought of being on horseback again was enough to subdue her angry retort. 'Riding? You really meant it, then?' Unknowingly her face lit up with eagerness.
'Of course I meant it.' His eyes raked over her as she stood up and came towards him. 'You'll need something warmer to wear than that, though.'
Ishbel's Party Page 13