by Alexa Riley
“Please. I’m not ready,” I admit as I stand and go over to the sink to wash my face and brush my teeth. I look up into the mirror. I look thinner, but I know I’ve lost weight over the past few weeks.
“Baby girl.” I turn to look at June, and the term of endearment both she and my dad use melts my heart.
I love it here. I’ve never known a home like this growing up. It’s peaceful here and full of so much love. I hate that my mother kept me away from them. It will never make sense to me. It’s not like she wanted me and here is this family that does.
“Does he know?” she asks me.
I shake my head. No one knows but her. My eyes burn as she pulls me into a hug and rubs my back.
“It’s going to be okay. You’re going to be a great mom. Look at how you are with the twins. They adore you.”
“It’s not that,” I admit as more tears slip free. I’d love to be a mom. It’s something I’ve always wanted. I wanted a family, a real one. Not like the one my mother and I had. I’d love my babies so much they’d be sick of me. “I can’t face him. I’m going to mess up his whole life.”
June pulls back to look me in the eyes. “Well, fuck him then. You’re the sweetest girl I’ve ever met. You love with your whole heart. You even love people you shouldn't give your love to.”
I know she’s talking about my mother. Over the past few weeks she and my father have slowly dragged out of me what my life has been like over the years. I think they both just wanted to get to know me but also wanted to know what my mother had done. I found myself still standing up for her. I know I shouldn't, but I can't help myself.
She slides her hand in mine. “Let's go get some sun. It will do you good.” We walk out of the bathroom and head into the sunroom. I take a seat in one of the soft chairs and put my feet up. There are at least two feet of snow on the ground, but the sun is out today. I see the twins outside having a snowball fight with Ben. I started calling him dad last week. It felt right.
I so easily slipped into fitting in with them. When I’d first got here I was scared and nervous, but they made me feel so at home. Like I’d always been there.
“Have you given much thought about school?” June asks. She sets a cup of hot chocolate next to me. They have been asking me to stay. I haven't told them I don’t really even need to go back. I have all the classes I need to graduate. I was just taking extra credits next semester. I’d planned to return because it was better than living with my mother twenty-four seven.
“I’m not sure what I’m doing yet.” Before I found out I was pregnant I was going to go back. While I felt welcome here, I didn't want to impose on them. Now, I’m not sure what I’m going to do. I don’t think I want to go back to school pregnant. Even less so if I'm throwing up like I am. I also have to tell Hunter. Don’t I?
One way or another he’s going to find out. Not only did I seduce and take advantage of him, but I also got pregnant. He's really going to think I’m a gold digger now. He’ll probably think I did it on purpose.
I don’t think my heart is ever going to heal from the loss of him. Not that I ever really had him. I thought I did for a few moments. Moments that I replay over and over again in my head. I place my hand over my belly. I guess I will always have a small part of him.
“What if he tries to take my baby from me?” The words spill out of my mouth as they pop into my head.
“No one will take your baby from you, Autumn.” I turn to see my dad standing in the doorway, still in his winter gear and dusted with snow.
“You’re right. I don’t think Neil would let Hunter do that,” I admit.
“No, I don’t think so either,” he agrees. I look down at my belly and realize I just told them who the father of my baby is.
“You know Neil?” I ask.
“Everyone knows who the Danverses are.” Ben walks over and takes a seat next to June and begins unbuttoning his coat then slips off his gloves.
I bite my lip. “Neil and I have been in contact,” my dad says, making me jerk my head up to make eye contact with him.
I’d left a note telling my mother I was going to spend time with my father and that I’d be back for Christmas, but I’d left my phone behind knowing that if I took it I’d break and answer one of her calls or texts. It was best to not have it. I wanted to clear my head. Try and heal before I faced what I’d done.
“He contacted me the day you came here.”
“Oh,” is all I say.
“He was worried.”
“Did my mother…?” I ask, but he shakes his head. I don’t know if this surprises me. Part of me thinks she doesn't care if I’m gone and the other knows how much control my mother likes to have over me.
“I’m sure he told your mother,” Ben adds. “I told him I would keep you safe and have you home for Christmas.”
“Hunter will be there. I guess I can tell everyone then.” I sigh, not looking forward to it. I want to see Hunter more than anything, but I don’t want to face the things he’ll say to me or the looks he’ll give me. I wonder if he’ll bring his girlfriend with him. My belly turns and the urge to throw up hits me. I jump up and run for the bathroom to get sick all over again.
Chapter Eight
Hunter
“Where is she!?” I shout at my father.
“Calm down, Hunter. What’s going on?”
I walk over to him and hold up the picture. “Who is she? Where did you get this? Where is she? I have to find her. Now!”
“What is wrong with you?” He reaches out to take the picture from me, but I hold it to my chest. “Hunter, that’s Autumn. Porsha’s daughter. I asked her to give me a picture of her for my birthday. What are you going on about? You said you didn’t want to meet her.”
“I’m…” My thoughts are jumbled as I plop down on the couch in his office. I lean forward, looking at her picture and staring into her smiling eyes. “Dad, this is her. She’s the one.”
He walks over and sits beside me. For a moment he doesn’t say anything as he puts his arm around my shoulder and hugs me close. “I know she is, son. And you need to go and get her.”
“What?” I snap my head up and stare at him. “How do you know?”
“You may not want to admit it to me or to yourself, but you and I are alike. We’re stubborn and possessive and when we want something we feel it in our bones. The first time I laid eyes on Autumn, I knew she was the one for you. She was just like your mother, and I saw in her a spirit that would match your own. It’s the reason I married Porsha.”
I look at him, unable to ask all of the questions going through my mind. There are too many thoughts hurtling at me at once.
“I met Autumn when she was volunteering at the soup kitchen.”
“The one we used to go to with Mom?” I ask, and he nods.
“After she and your brother died, I needed to go back. I wanted to hold on to the memories of them. Your mother enjoyed helping people, and I know that it meant a lot to her that we volunteered. The first time I went back I saw Autumn. She was sixteen at the time, but I could see how kind and bright she was. We ended up talking and I found out a lot about her home life. From the first moment I met her, I knew that if your mother were alive, she would have taken this girl under her wing. She would have done everything she could to make her feel safe and loved. So that’s what I did.”
“You married Porsha to protect Autumn?” I ask in disbelief.
“I did. Porsha came and picked her up that day, and I asked her out for coffee. I knew that I would never love another woman as much as I loved your mother, but I could take care of Autumn. I didn’t want to replace your mother or your brother. But I wanted to make sure the rest of my life was spent doing the most I could for the people that mattered to me.”
“How did you know I would care about Autumn so much?”
He shrugs. “I just knew. One look at your mom and I knew she was the one. One look at Autumn and I knew she was the one for you. I’ve been looking a
fter her for the last two years, waiting on you to finally meet. And I think it’s finally time.”
“Over my dead body,” Porsha hisses.
My father and I both stand up at the exact same moment when we see her standing in the doorway.
“I won’t let either of you anywhere near her,” she snarls, stomping into the office.
“I’m afraid that’s not up to you,” my dad says, putting his hands in his pockets. “She’s with Ben right now, and she’ll be here tomorrow.”
“Who’s Ben?” I bark.
“Her biological father,” my dad says in a soothing tone. “Don’t worry. I’ve been in contact with her since she left.”
“How dare you!” Porsha screams. “She’s my daughter!”
“Are you kidding me right now?” Even I can hear the exasperated tone in my dad’s voice. “You have done everything in your power to push that girl away. She chases after you and you ignore her, even sending her away to school when I begged her to be at home. You’ve spent all your time worried about yourself and your wallet that you never stopped to worry about your own child.”
“So this is why you’ve never fucked me? You were too busy trying to get with my daughter?”
I see my father physically shake with anger as his fists clench at his side. “I never touched you because I love my wife. And she will be the only woman I love for the rest of my life. I only married you to make sure Autumn had a good life where she was safe and cared for. And the fact that you insinuate something despicable about my feelings for her shows your true character. Autumn is a daughter to me just as much as my own children.”
“I don’t believe you,” Porsha snaps, but her face has gone white.
“I worried every night that you’d somehow try to sell her off for money, so I proposed to you to keep that from happening. Autumn is the only reason you’re still in this house, and now that she’s with her father, there’s no need for you anymore.”
My dad turns to me, and I’m by his side. I’m ready to back him up one hundred percent on his decision, as long as I can have my Autumn.
“Call the number on the desk. Have them here as soon as they can.”
I nod and do as he asks. When I’m finished I hang up the phone and look to him and Porsha.
“You’re done here,” he says, pointing to the door. “Get your things and get out. I’ve got a company coming to help you, and they’ll take you wherever you want to go. I had hoped at some point we could have worked this out, but I see now that I was a fool to think there was anything good inside you.”
“Fine!” she shouts and stomps her foot. “I’ve got a list of men dying to steal me away from you.”
My dad gives her a soft smile and nods. “I hope for their sake that you treat them much kinder than you ever treated me. Goodbye, Porsha.”
She screeches as she storms out of the room. I put my hand on my father's shoulder and he looks at me. There’s sadness in his eyes, and I hate that he had to endure someone like Porsha for so long. No one deserves to be treated with such hate. I never heard him say he loved Porsha, and he doesn’t say it as she walks out of his life.
“I have to go to Autumn,” I say, but my father shakes his head.
“No, Hunter. She’s in a good place, and she agreed to be here tomorrow. I know I shouldn’t keep you from her, but you need to give her the right to choose to come home. Because that’s what this will be for her and for you from now on. Home.”
Hearing the word warms my heart. I know he’s right, and going one more day without her will be torture, but I think I have something I can do to get ready for that.
“What time is she getting here?” I ask, and my father smiles.
Chapter Nine
Chapter 9 *Autumn*
I feel nervous as I walk up to the front door. Normally I’d just walk in, but since I left a few weeks ago, it doesn’t feel right.
I smile at my dad, stepmom and the kids. They all agreed to come with me today. Neil was so excited when I asked if I could bring them, he practically shouted into the phone. I know this will be a little awkward at first, but I place my hand on my growing baby bump and decide that I’m going to be okay.
If Hunter is here, then I’ll get some alone time with him and tell him the news. He doesn’t have to be in the baby’s life if he doesn’t want to—I’m prepared to care for our child alone and without help if he doesn’t want to give any. I will do everything in my power to make sure this child is loved enough for the both of us.
Neil called me yesterday to explain that my mom wouldn’t be here. He said they’re getting a divorce but that he still wants me to be a part of his life. I never expected to gain a family all at once, but I did and it’s kind of great. It sucks that my mom doesn’t want to be a part of that, but maybe one day she’ll change her mind.
Feeling confident and at peace with my decision, I reach out and ring the doorbell. There are two gigantic wreaths on the door. It’s funny because I don’t remember my mom decorating much for Christmas, so I assumed Neil wouldn’t do much either. Guess I was wrong. There aren’t any cars in the driveway, so I guess he isn’t having one of her big lavish parties either.
I hear footsteps approaching, and then the door is flung open. Neil is standing there and I only get to look at him for half a second before he wraps me in his arms in a giant bear hug.
“We’ve missed you so much, Autumn,” he says, and I can’t help but think he’s probably the only one who missed me. I laugh as he lets me go and then shakes Ben’s hand. “Thank you so much for bringing her. Come in, come in.”
He ushers all of us inside then takes our coats and hangs them up. I look around at all the decorations in awe. There are garlands and more wreaths, with lights and ornaments on everything. There are even snowflakes hanging from the ceiling, and the twins ooh and ah over them.
“Wow, Neil, you really overdid it,” I say, smiling widely. He’s even wearing a light-up sweater.
“It wasn’t me,” he says. He looks behind me and nods, and I turn around to follow his gaze.
From where I’m standing I can see the living room full of presents, lights, and a Christmas tree that belongs in Rockefeller Center. The place looks like Buddy the Elf got a hold of it, and when I see Hunter in the middle of the room, I gasp.
“Autumn, come here, angel.”
I don’t know how, but I manage to make my legs move and I walk over to him.
When I’m within a few feet of him, he reaches out, pulling me into his arms like he can’t stand the wait any longer.
“Do you have any idea how difficult it was to stand there?” he says right before he holds my face with both of his hands and gives me the most intense kiss of my life.
My legs turn to Jell-O, but he grabs me around the waist and holds me up while he kisses me so deeply I feel it in my soul. The world moves around us, and I feel, for the second time in my life, that my heart is where it’s supposed to be. That this is the man I’m bound to, and finally, finally I’m in his arms.
He breaks the kiss and presses his forehead to mine. “I thought I dreamed you up. I didn’t think you were real. God, this doesn’t even feel real now, but here you stand. My angel.”
For a second I think he’s falling and I reach out, grabbing his arms. But instead he goes down on one knee and opens up a green velvet box with a rock inside that’s almost as big as my hand.
“Oh shit,” I whisper, and the twins giggle.
I turn to look at my family and Neil all standing there with smiles on their faces. Neil looks smug, like he knew this all along, and my dad looks like he could burst with pride. My god, is this real?
“Autumn, I know this is sudden, but I know the truth in my bones. You are the one for me, and I want to marry you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you by my side. It’s crazy, but I love you. I know it just as I know my heart will always belong to you. You’re the one. Will you marry me?”
“I’m pregnant,” I blurt out, w
anting him to know everything. I need him to know the truth so he doesn’t somehow think this is why I’m here. “I came here to tell you that I’m pregnant, and it’s yours and if you don’t want to be in our life—”
He cuts me off by pulling me down into his lap and kissing me again. Sweet lord, I thought the first kiss was possessive. This one is pure ownership, and I have no control over it. It’s so much deeper than anything I’ve ever felt.
“You’re mine forever,” he vows, and I see tears in his eyes. He places his hand on my belly and smiles at me. “I’m not asking you again. This time I’m telling you. Marry me.”
I nod, unable to speak through the lump in my throat. I throw my arms around him and he holds me in his lap as I cry. He tells me over and over again how much he loves me while Christmas carols play on the sound system behind us. This could possibly be the most romantic thing that’s ever happened in the history of the world.
Glancing behind me, I see Neil and my dad hugging and crying like babies. I can’t help it and I start to laugh. This is the greatest day ever.
Epilogue
Hunter
Nine months later…
“Spread those thighs. I want my Thanksgiving feast,” I say, standing at the end of the bed.
“Only if you promise to give me the gravy.” Autumn winks at me as she spreads her legs and shows me her pretty pussy.
I crawl onto the bed and kiss my way up to her center. I take a moment to place my lips softly against her lower ones before I slide two fingers between them, rubbing her clit. When I dip them inside her tight opening, I groan as she squeezes them.
“Fuck, you’re horny for it, aren’t you?”
I cover her pussy with my mouth, tonguing her clit. The taste of her sweet nectar is like heaven and I will never get tired of visiting her pearly gate.