by Dyanne Davis
* * *
Keefe sat watching Mia. He’d seen her reaction to the way he’d snapped at her. Well, hell, he’d been biting his tongue since this nonsense began. He was doing what she’d asked. What more did she want?
After a minute Keefe turned away. No matter how hurt he was, he couldn’t bear watching her pain. She seemed so lost and her face, though smiling, broke his heart. When he looked at his sister he didn’t see the newly twenty-four-year-old professional standing across from him, but the frightened little girl that he’d promised to protect.
Groaning, Keefe closed his eyes. He’d kept his promise. Mia had been the one to shut him out of her life.
The sound of their mother’s laugher grated on him. She’d never been a mother. Hell, she’d never even felt like family. Mia was the only family that he claimed, but now that she was getting what she wanted, marrying Damien, she was behaving as if she no longer needed anyone else in her life. So now his entire family was gone.
When he opened his eyes and followed Mia’s line of vision to their mother surrounded by Damien and his father and Jerry, he couldn’t help feeling sorry for Mia.
A warning began inching its way up Keefe’s back. He knew his sister well. He studied the group in the back of the room and saw Damien staring at Mia and Mia glaring back. Something was definitely wrong. Mia looked as though she were ready to explode. His eyes finally lit on the culprit. Lillian Black.
* * *
Mia looked away quickly when she realized her brother was watching her watch their mother and her admirers. She was fighting to hold her tongue, not lash out and call Damien to her side. He should be standing beside her because he wanted to be, not because she’d called him.
“Hello everyone.”
Mia saw the minister Damien had secured coming toward her. He barely glanced at her mother or the men but instead headed for Mia.
Thank God, Mia thought. If the minister had halted in his steps she would have been tempted to call the whole thing off.
“Mia, how good to see you again,” he greeted her warmly, hugging her. “You need to call on me more than when you’re getting married.”
Before she had a chance to get embarrassed, he laughed. “Don’t worry, I love playing that little gag on people. Okay, everyone gather round.”
Mia heaved a sigh of relief as the minister let her go and called everyone. She hadn’t been the one who’d had to break up the admiration society.
After receiving instructions, she went out of the room with Jerry. But when she walked back into the room she faltered, This wasn’t right. Then she saw her brother walking toward her, his face filled with hurt and he stopped.
* * *
Keefe had pushed away the vacant chair near him. He didn’t want his mother anywhere close and she knew it. But her voice carried as she’d meant it to as she announced to the men around her that she was thinking of moving to Chicago. If she thought that by threatening to move near them he would pay her upkeep in Arizona, Keefe thought, she was sadly mistaken. He was done attempting to keep her in Mia’s life. He would no longer pay for that slight peace of mind for his sister.
Then he caught sight of Mia coming through the door and all his anger drained away and he was left with only hurt. He saw the smile on Jerry’s face and a look he couldn’t read on Mia’s. This wasn’t the way it was supposed to be. Mia was the only family he had and right then he decided he wasn’t letting go of his family that easily.
Before he knew it, Keefe was on his feet and walking toward his sister. He felt everyone staring at him but he didn’t give a damn. Sure, his timing needed some work, but he had to find out what he’d done to make his sister stop wanting him in her life.
“We need to talk.”
Keefe strode purposefully up the aisle toward Jerry and Mia. He took Mia’s arm and pulled her after him, ignoring her protests. He tried door after door until he found an empty room. Then he shoved her in, followed and locked the door.
“What’s going on?” Mia asked.
“You tell me,” Keefe answered her. “What the hell is happening to us? Did Damien tell you that he didn’t want me in the wedding?”
“No.”
“Then why? Why are you letting Jerry walk you down the aisle? Why don’t you want me?”
“It’s you who didn’t want to do it.”
“What the hell are you talking about? I always wanted to, you know that. I told you a hundred times.”
“That was when I was going to marry James.”
“You think because it’s Damien I don’t want to? Why? What in hell would make you think that?”
“You.”
“That’s a lie! What did I do?”
“I asked you if you minded if Jerry walked me down the aisle and you said no.”
“I said no because you wanted him. What was I supposed to do?”
“You were supposed to tell me that you wanted to do it.”
Keefe clenched his jaw in frustration, blowing out the huge breath of air he’d just taken in. He had to calm himself, find out what the hell Mia was talking about. She’d been behaving strangely for weeks and he was determined to get to the bottom of it.
“Mia, whatever gave you the idea to ask in the first place? We’ve talked about this a million times. It was all set, always. There was no need to ever have a discussion on who would walk you. That was my job to do. I wanted to do it,” he said, looking at the pinched look on his sister’s face, knowing it was there because he’d said walking her down the aisle was a job. But that wasn’t what he’d meant and he didn’t have time at the moment to play word games. He needed to find out what had happened. The words he’d straighten out later.
“Okay, Mia, let’s try this again. We made plans and the only thing I could see that changed them was you no longer wanted me.”
Keefe looked at his sister shaking her head no. “Then if it wasn’t you, who didn’t want me to do it? Tell me why the hell I’m not doing it? What gave you the idea I didn’t want to?”
“Mom.”
“Mom?” Keefe repeated dumbly. “Mom,” he frowned. “What did she have to do with all of this?”
“I called her when Damien asked me to marry him and she told me that I’ve taken advantage of you my entire life, that I should stop. She said that you would be uncomfortable walking me down the aisle to marry Damien because you’re sleeping with Ashleigh.”
For one long moment Keefe just stood and stared at his sister. “Mia, how could you believe her?”
“She told me to tell you I had someone else. She said that you would be relieved and wouldn’t put up a fight, so I did and you didn’t.”
He watched as tears slid down her cheeks.
“Mia, why would you ever listen to her? More than likely she’s jealous that you’re marrying a man that absolutely adores you. She can’t stand that.”
“But she helped me last time.”
“That was either a fluke or a miracle. She doesn’t really give a damn about anyone but herself, Mia. I’ve told you that a million times. You’ve got to stop thinking you can change her, that it’s your fault that she left us. It isn’t. We’re not the reason she’s the way she is.” He hugged her tight.
“Keefe, I knew it was stupid, but I wanted to believe she could change. How can I make a good psychologist if I don’t believe people can change?”
“Some people can change, some can’t. You’re not going to be able to help every single one of your patients, Mia, so don’t try to take on that burden. Now stop crying and tell me who’s going to give you away?”
“I always wanted you to,” Mia sniffed.
“Then let’s go and fire Jerry.”
Mia pulled on his hand. “Can I ask you a question?”
He saw the brooding look on her face and knew something more was bothering her. “Yeah, what is it?”
“Have you ever been with a virgin?”
All the blood drained from Keefe’s face and he shifted uncomfortably fr
om side to side. He’d talked to Mia as little as possible about sex, telling her only the things he thought she should know, nothing personal. Now she was asking him straight out.
“Why are you asking me?”
“Please, Kee, just answer it, okay?”
“No, I haven’t.”
“Do you think…I mean Damien is really experienced. Do you think he’s going to compare me?”
This was the last conversation that he wanted to be having. “What are you worried about?”
“I’m worried that Damien is going to be disappointed, that I won’t really know what to do.”
“I think you’re going to be just fine.” Keefe turned to walk out the door, indicating the conversation was over.
“Mom said he would leave me and find someone who could satisfy him.”
This made him stop and turn back to face his sister. “Don’t listen to her. How the hell would she know, Mia? She’s been married eight times and she’s lived with more than a half dozen men and slept with God knows how many more. If she’s such an all fired expert, why is she alone?”
“But—”
“No buts, Mia. She’s alone. That guy she was with left her a couple of months ago, right after she came to visit. When you talked to her she was probably just pissed and took it all out on you.”
“Why would she do that?”
“Because that’s the way she is.”
“But she was so nice to me the last time.”
“Mia, honey you can’t depend on her.”
“But what if she’s right? What if I don’t know enough? I mean Damien might…he might go back to playing around.”
“He loves you, Mia, he can hardly keep his hands off you. I’m surprised that he has waited this long.” He finally looked directly at his sister. “Why didn’t you ever…”
“Have sex, you mean?”
“Yeah. I mean, didn’t James ever try?”
“A couple of times. I told him that I was staying a virgin until I married and he seemed fine with it. We had fun together. We were good friends. We enjoyed each other’s company. Anyway, it was never much of a temptation. He never made me feel the way Damien does. With Damien that’s all I think about.” She blushed and turned away. “I think about being with him all the time and I don’t want to stop him. Sometimes if it wasn’t for him…” She smiled. “He’s helping me keep my vow.”
Keefe smiled in spite of himself at the thought of Damien talking Mia out of having sex. That must have gone against everything that was in Damien.
“Mia, the two of you are not going to have any problems. I can promise you that. You can barely keep your hands off each other. Relax, okay.”
“But, Keefe, what if…Mom said… Well, what if I’m not any good? What if he thinks of other women he’s been with and compares me? Do you ever think about…” She hesitated. “Do you ever think of Damien with Ashleigh when you’re making love to her?”
Keefe groaned. God, this wasn’t a conversation he’d ever expected to have with his baby sister. “Mia, come on. I think we’ve spent enough time in here. I’m sure everyone’s looking for us.”
“I don’t have anyone else to ask,” Mia said. “Mom said there was no way I could make him happy.” She bit her lips. “She’s been flirting with Damien and I don’t think she’s kidding.”
Her voice lowered and she barely squeaked out her words. “I hate to think that my own mother would…” She trembled. “I hate knowing what she’s capable of.”
The one thing Mia was right about was she did need someone to talk to. And for sure that someone shouldn’t be their mother. She’d done enough damage. Keefe was left with no choice but to answer Mia’s question.
“First, Damien’s not able to see anyone but you, so it doesn’t matter if she does try. It won’t work. And do I believe this of her? Yes, Mia, I do. I’m glad she was able to help you before, but I’ve always told you she was a bit of a slut. That hasn’t changed. In fact I was being nice. She’s not a bit of a slut. She’s a total slut.” He watched as Mia’s eyes turned watery and sad.
“What about the other thing? Do you? I mean, have you ever thought about it, that Ashleigh was with Damien? Does it bother you?”
“Yeah, a couple of times it happened, but I worked through it. I love Ashleigh and she loves me. No, I don’t want pictures of her with any man in my head when I’m with her, so I push them away. And if it happens to you, Mia, you do the same.”
“What if I can’t?”
“Why are you so worried about this? You weren’t before.”
“Mom told me that I should find a guy and get some experience before I get married. She—”
That was the last word Keefe heard before he unlocked the door and tore out of the room. He’d been stupid to give his mother another chance. She didn’t deserve it and she didn’t deserve to be at Mia’s wedding. Mother of the bride. What a joke. They could pick up any woman off the street and she would have done as much for Mia, maybe more. He was going to kick her out, send her packing.
“Kee, Kee, please don’t say anything.”
Keefe kept marching, the sound of Mia’s running footsteps not stopping him. How could the woman tell Mia all of those crazy things, as if she hadn’t already screwed her up enough? Now this. She was always trouble. She hadn’t changed.
“Kee, don’t. Please don’t make a scene, please.”
Mia was beside him, holding on to his arm, pleading, and at last he slowed his steps and grabbed his sister’s arms. “You haven’t, have you?”
“No, I haven’t.”
“You’re not thinking about it?”
She shook her head. “No, I just don’t want…I love Damien, Keefe. I don’t want him to stop loving me.”
“Talk with him, Mia.”
“I can’t, I can’t tell him this stuff.”
“You’re getting married in two days. Tell him and let him put your mind at ease.”
“I can’t.”
Keefe looked into her eyes. “If you don’t, Mia, I’ll talk to him.” The look that came into his sister’s eyes chilled him to his very soul. She was really afraid. She’d never voiced concern over her inexperience before. Damn their mother. God, how he hated the woman. He shook his head, knowing he couldn’t blame Mia. He’d hoped their mother had changed also.
“Mia, listen to me.” He tucked his finger under her chin and lifted her head. “This is important, Mia,” he said softly. “Love doesn’t stop that easily. You have to believe that. There is nothing in this world that you could ever do that would make me stop loving you. Nothing, Mia. And if Damien loves you the way that he says that he does, he won’t stop loving you because you’re inexperienced. You can learn.” He rubbed at the tears on her cheeks.
“You have to let yourself believe this because we both know what’s at the root of this. You did nothing to make Mom go away. It’s not us, you’re not to blame. I know she told us it was us. She lied. It wasn’t us. It was never us.”
“I know that, Kee.”
“You say it, but you don’t believe it. Don’t you think I know why you always forgave her, why you always wanted to give her money when she drifted back and forth into our lives? You thought if you were perfect, if you made her happy she would love you, that she wouldn’t leave you again.”
For an answer tears streamed down Mia’s cheeks and she shook her head.
“It is true, sweetie. I know it is. Don’t blame yourself. I felt that way for a long time myself. I mean, why wouldn’t we? Whose mother doesn’t want them, for God’s sake? You’d have to think you’d done something wrong. But you didn’t. And she’s not Damien. Damien is not going to leave you and he’s definitely not going to stop loving you. He’s proven that already. He hung in there and waited when you sent him away. He loves you, Mia. Now tell him so you can stop worrying.”
“Do you think he likes Mom?”
“Not in the way that you’re talking about. Of course I know Mom’s been making a play
for him, she can’t help herself. But he’s not buying into that. He’s being nice to her but that’s it.”
“Are you sure?”
Keefe wanted to throttle their mother but right now he needed to comfort his baby sister. “Mia, don’t let Mom take away your trust in Damien. She isn’t worth it. Don’t let her ruin your wedding or your life. Talk to Damien, tell him.” Keefe saw Damien over Mia’s shoulder.
“He’s coming, Mia.”
Mia turned around and spotted Damien walking toward them. In a panic she turned back to her brother. “Don’t tell him, okay?”
“Then you promise me that you will.”
“I promise.”
“Mia, I mean it.”
“So do I,” Mia answered. “I promise.”
“Good. Now I’m going to have a talk with good old mom.”
“No, Keefe.” Mia put her hand on his arm. “Please don’t ruin things. She’ll be gone in a few days.”
“As long as she doesn’t make you cry again.” Keefe wiped at the last tear, then smiled at her as Damien came to stand alongside them.
“Everything all right?” Damien asked, looking first at Keefe then at Mia.
“Yeah, it’s all straightened out now. Keefe is going to give me away.”
Damien smiled. “I knew that. I never thought your brother would let it get his far.”
Keefe cocked his head. “You don’t mind?”
“Why should I mind? You’re Mia’s brother. She loves you. Period.” Damien smiled wide, “And you did help get us back together.”
Mia glanced at Keefe. “I guess I’d better go and tell Jerry.”
“Don’t worry about it, I told him already.”
Both Mia and Keefe looked at Damien.
“How did you know?”
“Because Keefe loves you. If I had been in his position I would have done the same thing. I told you all along that he wanted to.”
“You did,” Mia grinned. “I guess I should have listened to you.” She kissed Damien, feeling consumed by her love for him as she always did. “I love you,” she murmured, “more than you know.”