by Cat Johnson
“Not even Zane?” she asked.
“Nope. I am going to call him next though.” He sounded sincere, and a little confused by her inquisition.
“Okay.” She swallowed away the sick feeling and realized she’d never answered his question. “I’m fine.”
There was a certain satisfaction in turning his words back on him. Let him wonder exactly what that answer meant, like she’d had to for years.
“Look, I hate to do this, but I have to cut this short.”
“All right.” She had plenty more to say but, as usual, she’d have to wait and do it on Jon’s schedule.
“I love you.” He said the three words so easily, even though his actions didn’t always support them.
But Jon wasn’t home yet and if she had to venture a guess, it would be that he probably wasn’t out of danger yet either.
Ali resisted the urge to be petty and angry and said, “I love you too.”
CHAPTER 18
One down, one more to go . . .
The call to Ali hadn’t gone quite as badly as he’d expected. Then again, it had been short. He was sure she’d put a pin in her anger and this was going to be continued later.
That was fine. He’d be happy to be home and with her, yelling or not.
Next up, the partner he’d lied to. Jon checked the battery life on the cell phone he’d gotten from Gordo and quickly typed in a text message to Zane, asking him to call.
The cell lit up within seconds of him hitting send on the message. Jon hit the button to answer. “Hey.”
“Where are you?” Zane cut right to the point without pausing for a greeting.
“At the moment? Germany.”
“And where were you before Germany?”
“Iraq.” Jon braced himself for his friend’s reaction to his answer.
“Yeah. I kind of guessed that when I got a call from some lieutenant working for the commander at Camp Swift asking if I could verify you were actually you. All right, now you’ve confirmed it that brings me to my next question. What the fuck are you doing there?”
“I took a solo assignment.”
The sound of Zane’s snort came through Jon’s cell. “Obviously. Wanna tell me whom you were working for?”
“That’s classified.” Jon cringed, knowing that answer wasn’t going to be well received.
Zane paused before saying, “Okay. So that tells me it was for the government. My guess would be FBI, CIA, or DHS but I’ll stop with the departmental alphabet soup and move on. What can you tell me? You took a job doing what?”
As much as it hurt his bruised body, Jon let out a laugh at Zane’s accurate guesses. The man had worked in the shadows as long as Jon had. He knew the deal.
Jon trusted Zane but he could still only tell him part of the story without breaking operational security. “I was infiltrating a certain enemy organization who should probably vet their recruited foreign fighters a bit more carefully in future.”
Even with his ears still ringing from the blast, Jon heard Zane’s sigh. “And you chose not to tell me why?”
“I was undercover. You know the fewer people who know the better. It’s safer for everyone, you included.”
“I’m your fucking partner . . .” Zane blew out a loud breath. “You know what, we can talk about this when you get home. When will that be, approximately?”
“I’m hoping to get released today.” Jon had realized his mistake even before Zane started cursing at him. He could only blame the slip on his injuries.
“Released? Motherfucker. You’re in the hospital and you don’t think to tell me that?”
“It’s nothing.”
“Oh, really? Okay then, give me a list of the nothings that have you in the hospital waiting to be released.”
“Concussion. Light shrapnel wounds. Nothing I haven’t had before. Like I told you. It’s nothing.”
“All that nothing adds up to tell me you were most likely on the wrong end of a blast. An IED. Or an RPG, maybe.”
Jon let out a short laugh and felt the resulting ache. “You are just full of letters today.”
“Yeah, well since you’re more full of shrapnel than answers, I have to be.”
“Nah, they got most of it out, I think.” He’d been lucky. Gordo had been too. The vehicle had shielded them from the worst of the explosion.
Jon heard his doctor’s voice just outside in the hallway. “Zane, I gotta go and see about getting out of here.”
“Call me when you’re stateside.”
“I will.”
“And you better call Ali, bro. I heard from Chris a couple of days ago that she’s not too happy.”
“Already called her, but thanks for the concern. I’ll talk to you later.” Jon happily disconnected before Zane tried to give him any more relationship advice.
God, how Jon hated everyone being in his business, even if they were friends. It was his own fault. He’d left Ali. Of course she’d turn to their friends for support in his absence. But he’d be home soon and straighten everything out.
At least Jon hoped he’d be home soon.
As the doctor came through the doorway, he figured he’d know one way or another soon enough.
CHAPTER 19
Just as the commander at Camp Swift had been anxious to get rid of Jon and had shipped him immediately off to the military hospital in Germany, the powers that be there had also made sure to get Jon out of the country and out of their hair as soon as the doctor released him and transport was logistically feasible. Even if a couple of the legs of his journey were less than safe, he was finally home.
As he felt the Virginia air on his face, he realized they could have asked him to walk through fire and if it meant being here—home—he would have willingly and gladly done it.
His euphoria lasted the whole cab ride from the airport to the office, where he picked up his keys and his truck. Jon didn’t even care that it had started to rain during the short drive from the office to his house. The closer he got to home, the more real it felt.
Real and surreal and wonderful all at the same time.
Jon drove faster than he should have given the conditions and it wasn’t long before he stood at the door of his condo.
He drew in a big breath as the emotions he’d kept on lockdown while he’d been gone started to surface, unlocked the door and swung it open.
The first sight to greet him was Ali, curled up on the sofa, wrapped in a blanket.
At the sound of his entering, she spun around. Her eyes flew wide when she saw him in the doorway . . . before they narrowed beneath her frown.
“Nice to see you made it home alive. And nice to see that you finally shaved.” She’d obviously gotten over her shock of seeing him home and had moved right on to her anger over him being gone.
It didn’t take a genius to see she was good and pissed at him, but he didn’t care. He’d been to hell, danced with the devil and made it back to her and he’d be damned if he wasn’t going to at least kiss her now.
Determined, he strode across the room, pulled her off the sofa and drew her to him in an embrace that was as much for his benefit as hers.
She let him hold her, but she remained stiff in his arms. He decided to take what he could get and be grateful.
“I know you’re mad but it’s so good to hold you.” The words were muffled as he clasped her tight and buried his face against her hair. She smelled familiar and felt like home.
He’d missed her. He didn’t realize how much until now while she was in his arms. He pulled back and tipped her face up. There was no controlling the urge to take her mouth.
The danger of posing as an ISIS fighter hadn’t scared him as much as knowing that just days away from being safely home and with Ali he’d nearly died.
It only proved what he knew already. No one could predict what could happen or when. He could live to a hundred or he could die tomorrow. It was about time he started really living.
“God, I missed you.”
The words were barely out before he crushed his mouth against hers.
Overwhelmed by the need to feel safe and alive, he kissed her hard and thoroughly. The long list of miracles that had brought him home mostly unscathed grew by one more when Ali didn’t push him away.
She sank into his kiss, clinging to him through the jacket he’d never taken the time to remove.
He wanted to get her to the bedroom. Wanted the clothes separating them—his damp ones and her warm ones—gone.
But he wanted something else more.
Breaking the kiss, he blurted out the words that would make her his for the rest of his life. “Marry me.”
She pulled back from him. “What?”
“Marry me.” Now that he’d said it once, the words spilled out even easier.
Her eyes narrowed. “Why are you asking me that now?”
“What?” He was too confused to comprehend her frown or the suspicion in her tone. Wasn’t this what she’d wanted?
“Did you come right here or stop somewhere first?”
Further confused by that question, he said, “I stopped at the office.”
Her nostrils flared. She was mad he went to the office?
He continued, trying to diffuse this bomb while blind. “I had to. My truck was parked in the lot. And my house keys were there too. Ali, I don’t know what’s happening here. All I know is I want to marry you.”
“You didn’t before you left.”
“I did. I just—”
“I can’t be here with you right now.” After cutting him off she moved toward the door.
What the fuck had just happened?
How could things have gone to shit so fast? All he’d done was try to give her what she wanted. What he now realized he wanted too.
He knew one thing, as the tears streamed down her face and she struggled to get her shoes on by the door, he wasn’t going to be able to reason with her now.
“Ali. You stay. I’ll go.” Confused at why she refused to be under the same roof as him, Jon still wasn’t going to make her go out in the rain just to get away from him.
He knew he could crash at Chris and Brody’s apartment for the night. The office was probably a better bet. He really didn’t want to deal with any questions. This was his mess and he’d deal with it on his own in private.
“No. You stay. This is your place. It was never mine. I can sleep at Darci’s. She already offered me Rick’s bedroom.”
Why the hell would Darci be offering her a place to sleep when Ali was living with him? What had happened while he’d been gone? Had Ali been confiding in Darci about wanting to leave him?
He had a feeling he wouldn’t like the answer.
Meanwhile, Ali continued to ramble as she reached for her jacket. “Sierra’s in LA filming a movie and Rick will be out there with her for the next few weeks. It’s been all over the television . . . but you wouldn’t know that since you haven’t been around.”
He didn’t argue that he probably wouldn’t have known about Sierra and her movie even if he had been around. If Rick wasn’t Darci’s brother, and Darci wasn’t Ali’s best friend, Sierra Cox wouldn’t even be on Jon’s radar.
He honestly couldn’t give a shit where Rick was at the moment. All he could focus on was that she was leaving for some reason he couldn’t even begin to guess. “Ali, I don’t want you to go. Can’t we talk about this?”
Dry-eyed now, she just shook her head. “I’m not sure you know what you want, Jon.”
There was no anger in the statement. Just resignation.
Jon would rather she yell at him. Rant. Throw things.
At least that would show some passion and make him feel as if she cared. Not like this new freakish calm that had settled over her as she grabbed her purse and walked out the door and out of his life.
CHAPTER 20
It was getting too late for any respectable person to just show up unannounced, even at a friend’s house. That didn’t stop Ali as she arrived at Darci’s place and swung the car into her drive.
It had been all Ali could do to hold on to the steering wheel and see the road. With the rain on the windshield and her hot tears making it even harder to see, she didn’t have it in her to multitask and make a call.
Given these were extenuating circumstances she didn’t give the lateness of the hour more than a passing thought as she rang the bell. She did however notice her hands trembling as she did.
With a sense of urgency riding her, just pushing the tiny button wasn’t enough to ease her agitation. She moved on to pounding on Darci’s door.
It swung open beneath her raised fist.
Chris stood in the doorway, all six foot plus of him looking concerned as he reached for her arms and looked her up and down before his gaze swept the driveway and road. “Ali, what’s wrong? Are you a’ight?”
He wouldn’t find the reason for her distress out there—unless of course Jon had followed her.
Ali resisted the urge to look and instead asked, “Where’s Darci?”
“I’m right here. What’s happening?” Darci peered past her fiancé. “Chris, let her in. It’s raining.”
As a testament to the fact she wasn’t in her right mind at the moment, Ali hadn’t noticed that the persistent drizzle had soaked her hair until she got inside and a drop of water trickled down her forehead.
“Come sit down. Chris, get a towel.” Darci led Ali to the sofa.
He moved to the kitchen and pulled a dishtowel out of a drawer, only to pause as he pressed his cell to his ear. “Hey. Yeah, she’s here.”
The words, softly spoken as he glanced at Ali in the living room set off her warning bells.
“Who is that?” Ali glared at Chris, suspecting she already knew the answer.
He held up one hand to silence her, which only made her angry. Darci covered Ali’s hand with hers and silently watched Chris’s one-sided conversation along with her.
“Okay. Will do. Talk to you later.” Chris disconnected the call and came to where they sat. He handed the towel to Ali. “Jon just wanted to make sure you made it here safe and sound since you were upset when you left.”
“He’s home? That’s great.” Darci squeezed Ali’s hand before releasing her hold.
“You’d think so, wouldn’t you?” Ali let out a snort and patted her face and hair with the towel. She looked back to Chris. “What else did he say?”
“That if you need anything, just call.”
“That’s it?” she asked, suspicious.
“That’s it, Ali. I swear.” Chris held up his hand to make that pledge.
She believed him. This kind of behavior was typical Jon. Thoughtful and caring, but only when it didn’t matter.
He’d gladly drive over in the rain to deliver her clothes and a toothbrush, but when it came to the important stuff—such as telling her when he was leaving the country for a month for some deadly assignment—that he neglected to do.
She had run out of the house with nothing but the clothes on her back and the junk in her purse, but she’d rather go to bed in her underwear and without brushing her teeth than ask Jon to bring her anything.
Darci would have things she could borrow and tomorrow she could sneak home and get her stuff from the condo. No doubt Jon would be out of the house and at the office bright and early, as usual. His workaholic habits made him predictable and she was going to use that to her advantage.
“Now that that is settled, what happened?” Darci asked.
Ali drew in a breath and blurted, “He asked me to marry him.”
Darci’s eyes flew wide. “What? That’s amazing.”
“No, it’s not.”
“When did he get home?” Chris asked.
“About two minutes before he proposed.” Ali turned to Darci. “See the problem?”
“No.” Darci shook her head. “Maybe he just finally came to his senses while he was away.”
Ali glanced at Chris and saw his lips pressed tightly into a thin line, a
s if he was physically holding in his commentary on the matter. She decided to get it out of him. “Chris?”
Darci swung her gaze to her fiancé. “What do you think?”
After a pause where he looked like he was wrestling with the decision to say anything, he finally drew in a breath. “I think you and Jon should just sit tight, wait a little while and then revisit this marriage discussion.”
That all sounded very logical, except Ali didn’t believe that was all. Chris’s strained expression was confirmation of her suspicion.
“And?” she asked.
He closed his eyes before opening them and focusing on her. “From what I heard from Zane, it sounds like Jon was in the middle of some serious shit . . . This could be in reaction to that.”
“See!” Ali spun to Darci.
“Hang on there. I’m not saying he’ll change his mind but—”
“It’s probably some knee jerk reaction to almost getting himself killed,” Ali cut in to finish Chris’s sentence.
Almost killed.
The words hit her hard as she realized he really could have almost died. Judging by the cuts she’d seen on his face, something bad had happened.
She pressed her hand to her stomach as it tossed with more than just pregnancy hormones.
“So? Do what Chris says. Let the discussion ride for a bit then you’ll see that he does want to marry you. I’m sure he always did, he was just too busy with GAPS.”
And that hadn’t changed. The company hadn’t gone away. It was still there—Jon’s mistress.
But something had changed. Jon wouldn’t be committing to a future with just Ali any longer. There was a baby he knew nothing about.
“There’s more.” Ali raised her gaze. “I’m pregnant.”
Her friend sucked in a breath. “Oh my God!”
“Darci, stop. I did not tell you so we can celebrate. I’m telling you because I need to know if either of you told Jon anything. Gave him any hint at all about my telling you last week that I was late.”
Darci shook her head. “I didn’t say anything, Ali.”
“Swear to me.”
“I swear. How and when would I have talked to Jon?” Darci asked.