“We will see you guys at the hotel,” Cabrina shouted from the driver’s seat, rolling up the window and giving two toots of the horn.
Gabriel was sniffing the air as if she had stepped into something which left a horrible stench in the car.
She asked her husband, “What? You smell something?”
“Yes. The crazy that is covering that woman and her paunch-bellied husband. Cabrina, really! The man was about to lick a dirty car and you want to have dinner with them?”
“Judge not, Mr. Neary. Who knows? It may end up being an evening that we will never forget,” she said with a smile as she drove down I-40, her eyes peeled for the vegetable stand.
“I can only imagine the can of crazy those two are about to open up for our unforgettable evening,” Gabe said, looking out the window.
“You should have more faith in people and not be so distrusting,” she said, shocked at her own words.
“Hello! C.I.A. Agent! Of course, I don’t trust them. The man was trying to taste the vivid colors on a dirty car! Does that strike you as normal?”
“Normal is relative, honey,” she said. “We got married on the same day we met. That is far from normal. Our honeymoon is a road trip to visit your brother who married a pregnant woman he didn’t know who was kidnapped by a man with probably only two teeth whom he tried to make his love slave and failed.”
Gabriel shifted quickly in the seat.
“How do you know he failed?”
“I know Ais...I mean Tameka. I once tried to get her to eat a bowl of grits. She wouldn’t, so I made fried grit cakes with a lemon pepper beef au jus. She ate them, but when she found out they were grits, she didn’t speak to me for a week. A whole week, and we lived together,” she said. “When you make her mad, the psychological games she can play with you is unsettling. And she loves me!”
“Does she play psychological games often when she is angry?” He asked out of concern for his brother.
“No, but she will let you know ahead of time if she isn’t pleased,” she said. “Ooh look, the fruit and veggie stand. I’m going to grab a few apples and pears and a couple of bananas for you.”
Cabrina pulled over, stopping adjacent to the stand. The car was at an angle where Gabe could see her every move when she got out. He sat in the car as she took a twenty from her wallet. At the stand, she carefully picked through the fruit, locating the best selections, bagging them up with a few bottles of water and an extra hand sanitizer, before she returned to the vehicle. “All set. You may want to eat that banana now. We have four hours to Oklahoma City.”
“Onward, Garçon,” he said, peeling the banana. Curiosity had a hold of him as he wondered what his wife was like when she was angry. Her trust of the strange woman was a point of concern for him. Judy and Paunch looked like a whole heap of trouble wrapped up in an insanity sweater. Tonight would tell him all he needed to know.
Crazy people only needed an opportunity to show their colors, especially if they wanted to lick them off a dirty old car. His mind now shifted to the hotel, a hot shower, and getting the clothes washed so they would be prepared to head into Little Rock in the morning.
THE HOTEL, OR RATHER the Dew Drop Inn, was not a bad deal for the fifty dollars. It had a few amenities, including a pool and a buffet breakfast for the guest. The towels were mid-level and not dingy as he’d expected, but for a family on a budget, the place would suffice.
They arrived ahead of Paunch and Judy, opting to wash a load of clothes before dinner and scout out the restaurant. By the time the Cabrina and Gabriel returned, the clothes were washed and ready for the dryer. The stupid red tee shirt would be what he was forced to wear in the morning as they rolled into Little Rock on Monday. Gabriel studied the map, calculating drive times.
It would be almost four hours to Little Rock and another three to Memphis. Blairsville was only four hours from there, meaning they had to make one more stop for the night. He could push it, but he wanted one more night with her before having to share her with his family. A family he needed to call.
As far as he knew, she also hadn’t called her family to tell them about him, but she had called her friend DeShondra every night. In the morning, they would call both their families, letting them know to expect them on Tuesday afternoon. Tomorrow, he would push it until they got tired, then they would stop for the night. However, tonight he had to prep himself to deal with crazy wine lady and her car-licking man.
Checking the hotel dryer, he removed their clothing, folding the pieces neatly on the side table. He held up her dainty blue stripped panties trimmed in soft lace, folding them as he’d seen his mother folding hers. He’d never lived with a woman before now, and it wasn’t as difficult as he’d initially believed. Heck, she was the first woman he’d actually slept with overnight. In his current job, relationships were a no-no, but his boss had been encouraging him to take a wife to go with his cover. Another three to five years he’d been informed was the duration of this assignment. Cabrina would make those years fly by with no problem.
I’m married.
Wait until Mom hears about this.
I’m not going to tell her until I show up.
Surprise everyone in more ways than one.
“Gabe,” Cabrina called from down the hall. “It’s time to meet Paunch and Judy for dinner.”
“On my way,” he said. The folded were clothes in his arms as he entered the hotel room
“You folded the clothes,” she said surprised.
“Yeah, so we don’t have to iron them in the morning. I have a feeling we are going to want to make a fast escape.”
DINNER, A SIMPLE MEAL of meat and potatoes, went remarkably well, leaving Cabrina with a feeling a satisfaction. Giving her husband an I told you so look, which waned quickly after they joined their new friends in the honeymoon suite they were booked in at the Inn. The wine, savory, with hints of apple notes, Gabriel approved of as they sat, sipping while sharing their experience of the Tram ride in Albuquerque and the Blue Hole at Santa Rosa.
Cabrina shared photos from her phone, not realizing her boob was out on the breakfast photo. Paunch noticed it immediately, licking his lips in appreciation. The same reaction came from Judy when she got to the picture of a barely dressed Gabriel with his turtlehead poking out of his pants.
“Oh, my goodness,” Cabrina said, snatching back the phone. “I completely forgot about those. I’m so embarrassed. The breakfast one, I didn’t know about. Please forgive me. I need to delete those immediately.”
“Don’t get rid of the pics – save them for sexy times,” Judy said with a wink. “Speaking of sexy time...”
She pulled a box from beside the couch, throwing it on the table. Cabrina eyed it suspiciously as Gabe made a move to get up and leave, but Judy grabbed him by the shoulder and pushed him back down on the couch. Paunch, leaning forward over his rotund tummy, opened the box and pulled out one weird toy after another. The last one was purple on one end and hot pink on the other with ribbed phalanges. Judy turned it on and the thing vibrated across the table, coming at Cabrina like it wanted to devour her soul, and Cabrina jumped to her feet.
Staring at the item in disbelief, all sorts of colorful words came to mind, but she remembered her promise to her husband to not use profanity. The vibrating double headed purple monster on the table was profane enough, not to mention Paunch had put on a Batman mask. She wasn’t sure where it came from as it suddenly materialized on his face. It covered his entire head, the tiny bat ears sticking up on the cowl and his eyes darted back and forth like he’d had a hard sniff of nose powder.
“I’m ready to party,” he said, standing up and using his Batman voice. The boner poked out in his pants like a mini tee-pee of a tiny angry Comanche.
“How did we go from a glass of wine to here?” Cabrina asked, backing away.
“I thought you guys wanted to party. To share. To get down with some freaky loving,” Judy said, reaching for Gabriel, who slapped her hand away.
“Good night, you two. Dinner was pleasant. Have a good evening,” he said, grabbing Cabrina by the arm.
“Wait, we are ready to play, and I’m wet and horny,” Judy said. “Cabrina, you can have a ride on Paunch. He’s very good with his mouth.”
“You nasty! Nasty, nasty woman,” Cabrina said, throwing the wine in her face. “I’m disgusted by you both.”
She didn’t bother with a goodnight as she stormed from the room. Redness crept up her neck, saturating her face in a crimson blush at being so wrong about two people.
“Don’t go,” Judy called after them as they made a beeline down the hall to the safety of their own room. Cabrina bolted the door, leaning against it, looking at her husband. She was so angry her body was physically shaking.
Gabriel tried to keep a straight face as he mimicked Paunch using the Batman voice, “I thought you were ready to party.”
“Oh, shut up!” she said as they both broke out into laughter.
Chapter 8 – Soothing the Savage Beast
Gabriel paced back and forth in front of the door like a caged animal wanting to be let out of the imprisoned box which limited his freedom of movement. The Neary intuition was kicking in and a sense of foreboding settling into his bones and he could sense that a bad thing would come their way. He’d cautioned her about the odd people but the whole carton of weirdness unsettled him.
My piece is in the bag. If I take it out and she sees me carrying a gun, it may freak her out, but I have a really bad feeling about those two. Maybe I should make a call and look into them, see if they are wanted for any crimes, missing bodies, or suspiciously dead relatives. Stop it. You are being paranoid.
Wait. Where is my wife?
He stood still in the middle of the floor, listening to what she could be doing as they readied themselves for bed. Gabriel knew they would need to leave early to get a jump on the cuckoo couple and get into Little Rock ahead of them. Maybe she’s about to take a hot shower?
Then he heard it. Is she singing? Why is she singing?
The melodic voice came through crystal clear, settling in the low notes like a balm to an aching back muscle. Bacharach? No, Vandross. His feet seemed glued to the floor as her soft soprano eased through the hotel room, reaching his ears with Siren precision, pulling him towards the bathroom door. Frozen, almost entranced as she sang through the chorus, he watched her sitting on the side of the tub, filling it with water. She added a few squirts of bath gel along with lavender soaking salts as her fingers dipped under the stream from the faucet, testing for the ideal temperature.
Cabrina knew he was in the doorway. He’d been agitated by Judy and her antics, pacing about like he wanted to hurt someone. She employed a tactic her mother often used to calm her father when he would get worked up beyond reason over matters over which he had no control. They had no control over what Paunch and Judy expected, needed, or even planned. Tonight required a good evening of rest because the drive tomorrow was going to be long and hard. If she had her way, the next stop would be Georgia, but this trip was about getting to know her husband. This evening, she planned to show him how lucky he was to have her as his wife.
Standing, she opened up her vocal chords to sing louder, walking to him, taking his hand, and pulling him into the bathroom. Cabrina removed his glasses, sitting them on the sink. Next, she went for the tee shirt, pulling it over his head, her fingers roaming across his abdominal muscles, coming up to the patch of dark hair on his chest.
“Nice,” she said, going to the refrain of the song, singing the melody in perfect pitch.
She reached for his belt buckle, unfastening the leather and pulling it free, as she undid the snap of the jeans. In one easy, slow, deliberate motion, she slid the underpants and jeans down his firm, muscled legs, allowing her hands roam over the hairy thighs. Using her foot, she held the jeans down, allowing him to step out of the underwear onto the tiled floor. For good measure, she used an extra towel as a rug on the cold tiles. His hand in hers, she guided him to the tub as he stepped up and into the water, which was the perfect temperature.
“I don’t really care for baths, Mrs. Neary,” he said, lowering his body into the tub.
“After tonight, you will,” she said, holding up his arm, scooping up water in her hand, and watching it cascade over his skin. After dipping a washcloth in the warm water, then wringing out the excess liquid, she folded the rag, placing it over his eyes.
Cabrina continued singing as she took hold of the sponge from the Andaluz hotel, added a squirt of shower gel, washing his arms and torso and scrubbing his back. She scooted to the end of the tub, pulling his long legs upwards to rest on the wall enclosure of the tub as she scrubbed his legs, the back of his knees, and in between his toes. For good measure, she’d brought into the bathroom her trusty manicure set, carefully clipping his toenails, buffing them a bit while wet and malleable.
“Mr. Neary, I need you to stand up for me,” she said to him. His arms, limp like a load of gelatin had been exchanged for his bones, took three tries to heft himself up out of the water.
Adding a bit more gel to the sponge, Cabrina took him into her hand, washing him intimately. She took extra care with the undercarriage and took her time washing over the firm, taut hocks of his backside careful of the scratches on the backs of his thighs from the watering hole. Gabriel’s eyes were hooded as he watched her wash him with the same loving care a mother would a child, leaving him more relaxed than he’d been in years.
“We are going to rinse you off now,” she said, pulling the plug on the tub and turning on the shower. She avoided the stream of water as he turned his body under the jets, rinsing away the sudsy residue.
“Time to get out now,” she said, turning off the taps.
Gabriel stepped onto the makeshift rug on the floor as his wife toweled him dry with brisk rubs. “Wait right here,” she told him as she left the bathroom, coming back with a fresh pair of undies.
“Here ya go,” she said, leaving him alone in the bathroom with his thoughts, which were plenty. Semi-dressed, he looked for his glasses that were not on the sink, but he could see without them as he entered the bedchamber of the room. The covers were turned back on the bed as he moved slowly, climbing in under the bedding.
“I think we should leave really early, grabbing a breakfast sandwich later in the morning,” Gabriel said to her. The words sounded laborious as he spoke, feeling sleepy and ready to call it a night.
“Sounds good,” she told him, handing him his eyeglasses, journal, Bible and favorite Waterford pen. “I’m going to take a quick shower and join you in a few.”
Her back was rigid as she walked away from him, prompting him to call her name.
“Cabrina,” he started. “I was thinking, if you wanted to do the wedding ceremony over again at your church, you know, so your father could give me your hand in marriage, I’m okay with that.”
“Are you asking to marry me all over again, Mr. Neary?” She asked with one eyebrow arched.
“Well, I guess. I just, uhm, you know, being an only child and all, I don’t want your father to feel slighted,” he said.
Cabrina came back to the bed and sat down beside him, her eyes, searching his face– a handsome face that she was rapidly getting used to as each day passed. She touched his arm.
“My wedding was just as it should be. I see no need to waste the money to do it again,” she told him. “I do appreciate you asking and taking my parent’s feelings into account, but they will be just fine.”
She kissed him lightly, then moved to the bathroom, singing again as she started the water. Gabriel clutched the Bible to his chest, overcome with emotions, yet unable to quantify the turbulence in his head. Write it down. Get clear. He opened the journal and looked at his notes from the morning.
His life had been a constant struggle as a theologist versed in the intricate knowledge of the study of the divine. As one of the leading experts in the country on cults, religious sects, an
d practices, his first years with the CIA had been to work closely with the FBI’s profilers on cases that involved large religious groups. The things he’d witnessed regarding the basest of human depravity had shaken him and his faith. Outside of the company psychologist, there was no one he could talk to or discuss in finite detail the despair that sat with him in quiet moments. The job which he currently had as a watchdog was a welcome reprieve to cases involving old pedophiles hiding behind religious sects to get their hands on young virgins, brainwashed children who believed the old men were their husbands and the bridge between the covenants they had with God and their leader.
“You should take a wife, Neary. It will add to your cover, maybe get out in the community to infiltrate deeper into some of those societies. That one group, The Arian Knights of Christ, is getting bigger. They are going to be a force in less than five years with the way their numbers are growing,” Lester Holtman, his boss, told him.
“I’m not sure I want to bring a wife into this situation, Lester,” Gabriel said adamantly.
“You need a wife. We can’t have the local preacher screwing the single women in town. It’s unseemly,” Holtman said.
“There are only three regulars who come by every other week to make sure I’m okay,” Gabriel said.
“That is three too many, and every other week is too often. Get a wife, Neary. Preferably one who can blend in with the locals. It will help you as well,” Holtman told him.
“Help me?”
“Yes. Faith is an odd companion. It shows up when you least expect it and dissipates when you think you have lost your way,” Holtman said. “You are a biblical scholar and quite possibly a genius, but you are also an asshole. A good woman can kick that out of you.”
Gabriel’s eyebrows shot upwards at the words. “Lester, seriously? You think I’m a genius?”
Buckeye and the Babe Page 7