"You ain't at home now Missy, don' get bossy with me. Papa won't let you leave now. There's no gettin' ya own way here. You're nothin' special no more."
Annabel trembled in defeat. The lack of control made her feel weak and useless. Without another word Patsy took her arm, a little more forcefully than what was necessary, and steered her towards the stable. It wasn't until they got inside that Patsy let go of her. Annabel crawled into the corner and curled up into her familiar ball, tears falling unwillingly now she was back in her prison.
Chapter Six
Annabel did not look up when she heard the door open sometime later. A cold breeze floated over her, bringing with it the smell of fresh bread. In the end, Annabel's hunger got the better of her and she peeled her eyes from the slimy wall to focus on the figure now struggling across the floor. Her swollen stomach seemed to weigh her down. As Annabel watched it appeared to move ever so slightly as the child within it writhed.
As the woman stooped, Annabel simply watching from the floor, she groaned in suppressed pain. Patsy appeared silhouetted in the open door way, as if sensing the woman's anguish. She jumped into action as if kindness were as easy to her as breathing. Throwing an arm around the woman's emaciated frame she removed the heavy jug from her grip.
"Go. I've got it," Patsy whispered, kissing the woman's sweaty cheek. She smiled and withdrew with a pronounced waddle to her walk. Before she made it outside she paused, leaning against the wall to take several deep breathes. Patsy rushed up to her again but the woman waved her off and continued out of the stable. Still frowning in concern, Patsy caught Annabel's gaze.
"Tha's Hetty - Tom's wife. `e's my older brother. Brought you `ere wi' Trevor."
Patsy seemed angry about her family connection to Tom. Annabel didn't care about this information but Patsy continued none the less.
"She's pregnant but he makes her work even harder than when she wasn't. He says it'll make his son stronger."
She looked at Annabel cautiously, desperation for affection etched in her features.
"Sorry," Patsy said when Annabel made no attempt to speak. "About earlier. I know it must be bad for you `ere, I don't wanna make it worse...honest. It's jus', I didn't know you'd feel so bad `bout people not likin' you. I like you though...I do. You're like - like a princess."
Patsy smiled somewhat sheepishly and Annabel knew she couldn't remain angry with this girl. She gave her a small smile back. Patsy crept forwards a little more.
"I know wha' they did to you. They don' treat me nice neither. They hate girls. We're jus' whores and housemaids to Papa and Tom. But doin' that to you, when you didn't deserve it...ain't right."
Annabel looked at Patsy in confusion. "And you think you do deserve it?"
Patsy lowered herself down to the floor, tucking her legs under her body in a subconscious effort to make herself as small as possible.
"No. Well...I guess. He's my papa. He brought me into the world, so `e's earned the right to do what he wants t' me. I'm not `is favourite...friend though. Tha's good."
Her attempt at humour was hollow, it made Annabel's stomach turn.
"He should be hung," Annabel muttered.
A look of shock passed over Patsy's face but before she could act on it Billy traipsed in, leading the horses. Patsy watched him tend to them with a deep fondness in her eyes. Upon noticing Patsy Billy ran over, his face full of enthusiasm as he hugged her tightly.
"Pat!" He burrowed his head in her shoulder as a child would their mother - not that Annabel had ever done that to her mother. Patsy begun to stroke his hair away from his face with the same rhythm Billy had used on Annabel.
"Hello brother," she gave him a soft kiss on the forehead. A look of confusion crossed Annabel's face.
"He's your brother?"
Patsy looked up, still brushing back Billy's hair.
"Yeah. I guess with the yellow hair you can't tell. Daniel's the only other light haired one of us. You'd see it if you met him, Mama's kinda yellow but not like this."
Annabel smiled again, the movement felt strange on her face. The love Patsy seemed to show her brother was beautiful, even more so compared to the hate she had seen from everyone else.
"How many of you are there?" Annabel asked.
"Billy's the eldest, he's twenty six. Then there's jus' Tom and Daniel. I'm fifteen. That's not countin' all the other bastard kids he an' Tom have probably had all over the place."
A hand went reflexively to Annabel's stomach, Patsy registered the movement.
"Don't worry, he ain't fathered anythin' since me. He blames Mama but we all know it ain't her."
Patsy's young face puckered in a worry she should not have known. "He says she gave `im tainted sons an' girls on purpose."
She planted another kiss on Billy's head, brushing his cheek with her spare hand.
"But he has Tom." Annabel spat the name out. "And - um -"
"Daniel. Yeah I know, but he wanted all boys. Tom gets everythin' they can afford; he's Papa's pride and joy. Dani was born jus' after `im but was always very different. He was really early too, nearly died. Papa thinks he's weak `cuz of it. Dani sings all the time as well, like an angel...to piss off Papa I reckon."
She laughed softly to herself, obviously fond of this brother too. "Dani'd sooner deck Papa than let him `ave his way with us. He's nearly been killed so many times tryin' to help us. He's saved my skin more than once. I wish he wouldn't. He's strong, real strong, but they bound to get `im soon. I'm - I'm scared for `im."
Patsy looked up, the fear evident in her face for the first time. She had seemed so strong before, older than her years. Her youth shone out now.
She was barely more than a child.
Annabel sat beside her feeling more useless than ever. She had a position of phenomenal power but here she could not use it to help even this one girl. She could think of nothing to say that would in any way ease Patsy's suffering so chose to remain silent, looking on at the two siblings wrapped in each-others tender embrace.
How did people live like this and still manage to find love within their hearts? It begged belief.
Noticing Annabel's discomfort, Patsy changed the subject.
"I'll try to bring some stuff over tomorrow, to help. You should at least `av a thicker blanket. Maybe candles too. Make it nicer...kinda."
Annabel looked down, embarrassed for the first time about her former, privileged life. So what if she had to endure this place for a few months? These people had lived here their entire lives.
"Thank you Patsy," she murmured. There was a new, strange stirring of pity in her heart. "I'm very grateful."
"Wha's grateful mean?"
Annabel was taken aback.
"Oh, um showing that you like what someone has done or given you...I suppose."
Patsy smiled. "Then...I'm grateful you came."
She reached over and squeezed Annabel's hand. Unused to displays of physical affection Annabel froze but after a few moments felt herself relax. The warmth of this new person's touch travelled up her arm and she squeezed back, enjoying the alien sensation of closeness. After a few minutes Patsy rose to her feet and Billy began to cry, pleading with her not to leave.
"You know I gotta go Billy, I'm sorry. I'll be back soon, honest."
She gave him a motherly smile, kissed him on the cheek and walked out the door. Billy crawled back into his corner where the sound of his breathing quickly regulated as he drifted off to sleep.
Annabel leant against the wall, looking up at the dusty loft. After a moment she found her gaze once more on the splintering ladder. Forcing herself to a standing position, she set her bare feet on the jagged rungs and climbed.
At the top she found another, much smaller room. The floor was uneven and creaky, covered in at least an inch of dust. It puffed up around her with every step she took, making her nose tickle and her feet itch. The exposed rafters above her head were sloped, meaning she had to walk bent double most of the time. The only light came fro
m a tiny window overlooking part of the forest. It was so covered in grime it was impossible to see anything more than an outline of the stunning view. Beneath this window sat several long forgotten bales of straw, becoming nothing more than food for rats.
Over the next few hours she dragged the bales across the floor, sweating with the effort, and into the right hand corner of the tiny loft. Sprinkling some of the softer hay from downstairs over the top of the older she draped it with her new apron, until she had managed to fashion a structure somewhat resembling a bed.
After this, Annabel climbed back down the ladder, searching for anything to brighten up the place. Her search grew more thorough until she stumbled upon a group of dandelions sprouting from the mossy wall beside the door. She picked them with a sense of childish joy and put them in the battered jug, now empty of water, which had been delivered to them that day. She set the flowers on the narrow ledge below the window. Stepping back to admire the effect, just as the sun was sinking below the trees, she smiled. It was a satisfying feeling; the knowledge she had created this sanctuary, however simple, with nothing but her own hands. This must be why people worked, she thought.
Retreating to the miserable downstairs stable, Annabel tried to coax Billy into following her up the ladder, knowing they would be safer curled together on her make shift bed in the roof. At least it would be more comfortable than the floor. Yet, he refused to be away from the horses. Sighing softly, with a physical and emotional exhaustion she had never felt, Annabel climbed back up into her new bedchamber. Lifting the ladder, so no unwanted visitors could reach her, she instantly fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.
Chapter Seven
Annabel woke the next morning to a panicked voice somewhere below her. She rolled over groaning and reached down to pull her warm quilt over her shoulders. Her hand groped into thin air, scraping against the rough fabric of her medieval style dress. She groaned louder this time, as she felt the prickle of straw beneath her and remembered where she was. The panicked voice had reached a louder volume, screaming an abbreviated version of her name.
"Anna!"
Annabel poked her head over the rafters and called down. Patsy spun around sharply, letting out an audible sigh of relief.
"Thank God, I thought you'd run away or summit. Well - not that you could, really - there's a lot o' eyes on you."
Annabel lowered the ladder, swallowing her fear at that last statement. Not yet used to the narrow rungs, she slipped several times before she made it to the safety of the floor. Patsy immediately handed over another large bundle. The intoxicating smell of food made Annabel sink to her knees, ripping it open. What she found made her mouth water. There were two slices of fresh bread spread with a thick layer of dripping, a shiny red apple and a small leg of meat - a rabbit perhaps. Annabel literally jumped on the food, devouring it without so much as taking a breath. She moaned, in a way that would normally have filled her with revulsion, as the juice from the sweet apple dripped down her chin. Half way through she wrenched it away from herself, remembering Billy. She looked around - the cool, sticky juice of the apple had now dried on her face - but she couldn't find him. Registering her intentions, Patsy spoke.
"It's okay, Billy's had some already. He's out today. This is all yours."
That was all the invitation Annabel needed. She lunged on the second half with just as much vigour, polishing off every last crumb of bread and sucking on the rabbit bone until all the traces of meat had gone. When there was no more food to eat, Patsy passed over a jug full to the brim of water. Annabel guzzled this down, spilling some of it down her front in her haste.
"Thank you," she said with tears of gratification clouding her eyes.
"You really needed that, huh?" Patsy giggled, whilst understanding hung in her own intense gaze.
Both girls laughed; giddy with the simple pleasure of the moment.
"Look a' the rest." Patsy gestured to the bundle surrounding the smuggled food.
Annabel took her time unfolding these stolen gifts, allowing herself some joy at the discovery of a thick moth eaten nightdress, a new apron and a pair of crudely carved wooden clogs. The best of the bundle though, was a thick patchwork quilt, badly hand sewn in a hurry from squares of sheep wool and cow hide. Tears slowly made tracks down Annabel's cheeks. She had received more presents in her lifetime than an army of people have room for, yet this one, so full of devotion and kindness, was her favourite by far. She smiled up at Patsy who was looking a little anxious.
"Do you like it?" she whispered. Annabel nodded, unable to speak through the lump building in her throat.
"Made it meself, been smugglin' pieces of fabric for days. I saw a blanket like this in the town when I was a littelen an' always wanted to make one. I did make one for Billy a few years back. It kills me that he's in `ere with nothing. I try to bring him things but it's right nasty when I get caught, we both get it pretty bad-"
Annabel sat listening in silence, fingering the loose threads on her new blanket. Watching Annabel's elegant fingers, Patsy began to explain the process she had gone through to make it, pointing towards various parts as she explained their conception. Her pride in the item was enviable. She held up her hands to show the small pin pricks she had gotten from using the needle without a thimble.
"Did you ever sew at home?" Patsy concluded.
"Yes," Annabel murmured, remembering with a slight blush of shame, the hours she had sat in various fancy rooms amusing herself with this pass time. "But only embroidery. Not anything functional. I had dressmakers for that."
"If I can find anythin' to do it with, can you teach me to do it proper?" Patsy's cheeks turned red with excitement and Annabel was reminded again just how young she was. She nodded, feeling it was the least she could do, considering everything Patsy had already done for her.
Annabel stood up, tied her apron around her waist and draped the nightdress and quilt around her shoulders. She went to put on the clogs but decided against it, wanting to feel the ladders rungs beneath her toes. She attempted to throw the clogs up to the second floor so both her hands would be free to climb. The first few attempts failed and Patsy joined in, making it into a bit of a game. When eventually the clogs found the upper floor, both girls cheered, laughing so hard they were soon gasping for breath. Annabel thought about how ashamed her mother would be, if she saw her acting in such a frivolous manor in company but quickly realised she didn't care.
"Follow me," she said, grabbing Patsy's hand on instinct and leading her towards the ladder.
Once at the top, Annabel located the clogs, placing them neatly beside her bed and hung the nightdress on a loose nail protruding from the exposed rafters. Her new blanket, placed with the corner turned down, added a final homely touch. Both Annabel and Patsy stood in silence for a little while, soaking in the gloomy space. Annabel watched a lone spider crawl slowly up from the bed and out a wide crack in the window. Patsy shifted her feet on the floor, the movement left marks in the thick dust.
"Are you alright?" Annabel asked, noticing a worried frown had returned to Patsy's youthful forehead. Patsy looked up, as if caught doing something she shouldn't.
"Yeah I -" she started, but her resolve crumbled and her shoulders slumped. "I dunno."
She sat down on the end of Annabel's bed, fidgeting with the ragged edge of her apron. "I'm just - I try to be strong an' that, but I'm worried about Hetty. See, she's not well. I know she's havin' a baby but I don't remember her being like this with her other kids. She's slower an' seems to be hurtin' a lot more." Patsy took a shaky breath. "She never even wanted to marry Tom - I mean, who would? She wanted Daniel but he didn't like her like that, an' he had someone else at the time, so Hetty ended up gettin' real squiffy at the pub an' had a night with Tom - she was so drunk she don't even remember it. Ended up havin' twins. Her mama and papa made her marry `im but said she had shamed them or summit so won't even look at her now. I hate them for doing that to her. She's been left with that dog of a husband wh
o abuses her in all kinda ways, he thinks it's her duty."
Annabel was listening in horror, her eyes wide. The more she heard about this family the more appalled she became.
"But this is absurd, surely Tom's happy? Why does he still have to abuse her? You said they already have children, right?"
"Yeah, two boys, but he wants more - lots of `em. He jus' wants her to deliver `im healthy sons, keep his supper on the table and `is house clean. No romance in this village Ma'am."
This was the first time Annabel had been addressed thus for a long time, it made her cheeks colour with shame. She felt disgusted acknowledging this distinction in their classes. The things she had deemed so important in her former life were now sickeningly trivial.
There were another few moments of silence as the information Patsy had just divulged lay bare and exposed between them.
"I don't think you wanna hear `bout my family any more - what `bout yours? Are you very rich? You must be, Papa got a lot o' money for your things. They were very pretty."
Before she had a chance to answer, Patsy gasped and reached into her apron, making Annabel jump.
"That reminds me. I found this in the mud jus' outside the stable the other day."
She held out her hand, unfurling the fingers. It was Annabel's time to gasp now, for resting in Patsy's dry, red palm was one of Annabel's diamond encrusted hair combs. She picked it up, remembering how it had felt when the maids slipped it into her elaborately braided hair. It seemed like years ago.
Annabel held the comb up to the light, watching the familiar twinkle as the sun shone through the jewels, refracting on the wall behind her. It was a token to the quality of the piece that none of the gems had even moved. Patsy had clearly spent ages washing it, getting into every groove. Sitting next to Patsy and leaning backwards, Annabel placed this treasure in the tiny gap between the bed and the wall, then sat back up to squeeze Patsy's hand tightly in her own.
Diamonds Fall Page 4