“Will do, Jake.”
***
It was three days until the wedding, and Jake went on as if it wasn’t cancelled. He built an arch for them to marry under. It took several hours to build, but that wasn’t a problem, because he stopped working once Tessa went to chemo. She was still ignoring him, and it was killing him.
Thursday morning he pulled his tractor out front and hooked the arch on to a trailer that pulled behind. Loaded in the tractor trailer were tent stakes, a hammer, a five gallon bucket of stain and the arch. After the trailer was loaded, Jake pulled the tractor to the spot between their two properties and got to work.
Four hours later, the arch was in place and was perfect. It wasn’t fancy by any means, but it was beautiful in its own way. Perfect for their wedding. If only Tess would forgive him.
“What’s he doing?” Tessa asked her mother as she watched out of her bedroom window. She could see Jake on his tractor, pulling something.
“I have no idea. Why don’t you call him and ask.”
“Har har…very funny, Mom.”
“Really, Tessa, the boy is lovesick and you are killing him. Just tell him you’re sorry and get over with it!”
“I’m not sorry, Mom. He needs to be taught a lesson!”
“For now long, Tess? The good ones don’t stay around waiting forever.”
Tessa huffed. “I told him I needed some time.”
“You’ve had time. You’ve had loads of it. Now you’re up here moping because he is moving on.”
“Moving on?” Tessa asked in horror.
“See, you aren’t over him. You love him, dear daughter. Just call him.”
“No.”
“You are stubborn. Just like your father.”
Tessa leaned over the sill and watched as Jake unloaded a large arch and then moved the tractor down the field a ways. The arch was tall and wide, and from what she could see there was a horseshoe design toward the top. “What’s that for?”
Mary Jane gasped and put her hands to her lips. “Oh, Tessa. Please, tell the boy that you love him and that you are sorry.”
“What the hell is wrong with you, Mom? You are supposed to be on my side. I don’t need someone to boss me around all the time. I don’t need another father.”
“Tessa, it’s a wedding arch. Look,” she said, pointing to the place between their properties.
Tessa’s eyes widened at the romance of it all. “It…it doesn’t matter.”
“That’s got to be one of the sweetest things that I’ve ever seen, Tessa Marie.”
Tessa didn’t say anything as her mother left the room. She only leaned forward more to get a better glance at the arch. It was beautiful, and it was from Jake.
She watched him all afternoon as he sanded and painted and got it set where he wanted. A few times he just looked up at the arch and ran his hand down his face. Tessa’s heart hurt. She knew that he felt bad, that he loved her, but it was too hard to go to him, to tell him she was sorry. She didn’t want to put him through the chemo, too. It sucked enough when it was her. She didn’t need his pity. She didn’t want it.
***
That next afternoon she had another dose of chemo. Her body felt weak and drained of all life. And she was sick. This time she heaved for a few hours straight before they would let her leave the hospital. Once she looked out the window and saw a truck that looked exactly like Jake’s. But when she came out, it was gone, as if it had never been there in the first place.
When she got back to her parent’s house, she went directly upstairs and looked out the window at the arch. It stood, like a sentinel, guarding the two properties. It was beautiful. But now surrounding the arch were two sections of chairs. Tears flowed down Tessa’s face, before she lay back and went to sleep.
***
“How’s she doing?” Jake asked Mary Jane. He just finished working and doing chores when he saw their car pull up to the house.
“She’s doing well today. She saw the arch, Jake.”
Jake’s heart hammered in his chest. “And…”
“She loves it. She didn’t want to say anything, but I could see the look in her eyes. Keep going, Jake, she loves you.”
“I love her so damn much it hurts. I just wanted to see how she was doing. Is she still getting sick?”
“She was pretty sick this afternoon, but it’s tapered down a bit.”
“How long till we find out if it’s working?”
“I really don’t know. I’ll call the doctor.”
“Tomorrow is the big day, and she still hasn’t talked to me.”
“I know, Jake, maybe just a little more time.”
Jake nodded, his throat was tight. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, Mary Jane.”
After they hung up, Jake went and took a shower. He had a lot more work to do before what he hoped would be the big day.
***
The next day it rained. That afternoon, the arch gleamed. The white chairs were all wet, and there was a new addition to the area, a long white piece of material for the bride to walk down the aisle.
Tessa’s lips trembled. At three o’clock she was still watching the arch, and that’s when she saw Jake ride up on Midnight. Fully clothed in his tux and gleaming black shoes. The rain held off for an hour. She watched Jake as he stood there. By himself. Tessa cried, then threw up the rest of the afternoon.
The next morning when she awoke she looked out at the arch. All of the chairs were gone, the white aisle, too. But the arch was still there. Tessa sobbed loudly. Her mother came in about halfway through her tears and held her in her arms, stroking her back.
***
Jake felt like his insides were broken and shattered. A few times, he looked up to Tessa’s window and saw her watching. She knew he was out there, and she let him wait. And he waited all night long.
He didn’t know how much longer he could wait. Sure, he wanted her for a lifetime, and it was easy to say that he would wait forever for a chance with her, but he didn’t know if his heart could take it.
After taking the chairs and the aisle cloth back and packing them away, Jake decided that he would give her more time. What she was going through had to be tough, and he wanted to help her through it, but it wasn’t for him to decide, unfortunately. All Jake could think of was what if’s. What if they had met up for drinks earlier, what if he never saw her that night, what if the baby that they had hoped was there was there. What if… Jake closed his eyes and walked into his house, stripping his suit off and headed to the shower.
***
The work week passed quickly and the weekend approached. Unfortunately, work was never done for a rancher. He liked his job, he loved the animals, his way of life, his ranch, but he wished that he could get one day where something didn’t have to be done. There were always chores, work to be done. Jake walked out to the barn early Saturday morning, after all the animals were fed and loaded up the tractor. He drove out to the arch and started unloading the trailer.
He took out the chairs and tried for a new design. This time he had four rows of three on each side, and down the middle he brought the same white cloth. After he stretched it tight, he pegged it to the grown with tent stakes. When he was finished, he got back in the tractor and drove it home.
When Tessa woke up that Saturday, she looked out at the arch. Her hand went to her mouth and she trembled. The chairs were back in place and the long white carpet was there, too. The only thing absent—people.
Tessa cried once more. Feeling the sickness invade her stomach, and she let it go. Jake hadn’t forgotten about her. He still wanted her, even after she had treated him so poorly.
***
At three o’clock, Jake once again rode up on Midnight, dressed in a suit and white Stetson. This time, he had a rose attached to his lapel. And one long, stem white rose in his hand. Tessa watched him as he stood, waiting for his bride. She nearly screamed as she watched him. He was calm, cool and collected. She was a nervous mess.
> She ran her hands down her hair and clutched. Just then, a chunk of hair came out into her palms and she did scream. The scream echoed throughout the home, and as if Jake could sense it, he looked up to her window just then, right before she ran out.
“Her hair is gone, Jake,” Mary Jane said. Her voice trembled when she spoke. Jake cursed.
“I heard her scream. Was that it?” Please tell me that was why.
“Yes. She stood at the window, watching you, and then she said she brought her hand down and she had a huge chunk of hair in her hands. It’s all gone, Jake. Her beautiful red hair is all gone.”
“It’ll grow back,” Jake said. “I don’t care about her damn hair. I suppose she won’t see me now.”
“She has given strict instructions, Jake. I don’t think I have ever seen her so broken. Will and I are really worried. We’re afraid she’s…”
“She’s not giving up. We won’t let her.
***
That next day, Tessa received two dozen white roses from Jake. They were the most beautiful flowers that she had ever seen. They matched that of the one that he wore on his lapel the night before.
Tessa couldn’t help it. She felt sorry for herself. She looked out the window at the arch and felt lonely. She wanted more than anything to just be with Jake, but the stupid cancer would make that dream non-existent.
She felt like giving up. Jake would never want her like this. Hairless. A freak. She couldn’t have a perfectly round head like Sinead O’Conner. No, she had to have a pointed top. She looked like one of the Coneheads off of Saturday Night Live.
Tessa looked in the mirror on her door. She had clumps of random areas of hair. But she knew if she moved her hand down her head the hair would be out.
Tessa pulled out her cell phone and took a deep breath. Screw it. She was going to call Jake. She needed to hear his voice.
The phone rang three times before voice mail picked up. Tessa felt sick. Jake always picked up her calls. Tessa threw her cell across the room. Anger built within and she slammed her hand down on her dresser.
“Everything okay, Tess?” Mary Jane questioned.
“I’m just…I’m angry! Jake isn’t taking my calls. This stupid… this cancer! This … my hair!” Tessa screamed. “I hate this! I hate it!”
Mary grabbed her daughter and held her tight. Tessa’s dad was standing in the hall, watching helplessly. “I can’t take much more of this, Mom.” Tessa’s sobbed loudly, soaking her mother’s shirt.
“Tess, God never would give you anything that he didn’t think you could handle.”
“I’m through with God,” Tess said angrily. “I’m through with it all.”
“Tessa, you don’t mean that. You’re just angry. Things happen. But they make us stronger.”
“Momma, I’m tired.”
Mary Jane broke down then. It was William that came up behind the two and held them up. “I don’t want to hear that kind of talk from my daughter. You are a fighter, Tessa Marie. And besides, you want to look your best for the wedding.”
Tessa cried loudly then. Her sobs turned to hysterics. “He’s done with me.”
The moment Tessa cried, she saw the Arch in the field. There Jake was, laying underneath the arch with a book and what looked like a bottle of beer.
Tessa laughed unexpectedly. Her parents turned to where she was looking and her dad spoke. “I haven’t been happy about how this whole thing started, Tessa, but that man loves you, and it sure as hell doesn’t look like he’s given up.”
Tessa sniffled. “No, it doesn’t, does it?”
Chapter 6
Jake put his hands behind his head and let himself relax. Looking up at the arch he constructed for the wedding, he noticed a few things that he wanted to change. One, there was only one horseshoe and one heart. Jake thought he could easily remedy that. He would carve two hearts together and on either side, a horseshoe. Maybe he’d even add their names. Jake pictured the wedding several times, watching Tessa walk down the aisle toward him, his heart beating to a quick tempo. Her beautiful eyes full of love.
It had been three weeks now since he had seen Tessa, other than in her window. He had a rough time sleeping, eating was less enjoyable, and his own mom commented on the look of his eyes. Apparently he had now wrinkles under them.
Jake fell asleep, shortly after midnight in the field. Tessa watched him from her bedroom window. She knew the exact moment he gave in to the darkness. That was when she felt herself finally relax and she walked over to her bed and gave in as well.
The following week, she had an all clear from the chemo. It was a lot faster than they predicted, and it cheered Tessa more than anything could. They said the cancer was gone, and for now, she was in remission. Radiation wasn’t needed, it was just a precaution. And Tessa didn’t want it. She told the doctor just that.
“I don’t want to go through any more of this. If it’s gone now, I’m happy.”
“The Radiation will ensure…”
“No, I don’t want it.”
“Tessa,” Tessa’s mom spoke. “We think you should really think about this.”
“No. I won’t make it. I don’t want the treatment. If the cancer is gone, then I am done with this for now. If it comes back, we will rethink the whole thing. For now, I am not interested. Thank you.”
Tessa knew she was being stubborn, but she didn’t think she could hack another week or even a day of chemo, let alone radiation. She heard several horror stories throughout the hospital and from her research on the internet. She didn’t want anything to do with it if she didn’t have to.
Tessa left the doctor’s office feeling better than she had in a long while. When they took the turn to her parent’s ranch she saw the white chairs in the yard. The white fabric runner and the arch. Tessa’s gasp alerted her parents and they looked over.
“He loves you, Tessa. Talk to him.”
“Not like this,” Tessa said, gesturing to her head. I have no hair, Mom. I always wanted a perfect wedding. This isn’t what I’ve ever imagined.”
“Did you ever think, Tessa, that a perfect marriage has nothing to do with flowers, hair or even the dress. Look at that man, Tess,” Mary Jane gestured to Jake. He was unloading the last of the chairs. “He has set up those chairs four times now. He hasn’t seen you in weeks. He has never given up. Don’t make him go out there again in that suit.”
Tessa turned her head from Jake. “I can’t, Momma. I can’t let him see me like this.”
Mary Jane sighed. “I have an idea, Sweetheart, but you’re going to have to cooperate.”
That evening, Jake went out in his suit again. This time he carried a bouquet of lilies in one hand. He stood for thirty minutes, waiting for his bride, then when he was sure that she wasn’t coming, he mounted Midnight and rode for home.
Tessa watched, hoped that he hadn’t given up just yet. She closed her eyes and thanked God for Jake. The same God that she gave up on the week before. She knew there had to be a God if Jake held on to hope the way he did. He was strong, wonderful, and she loved him. She just hoped he could wait a little longer.
The next day, Mary Jane and Tessa went shopping. Her wedding dress was extremely loose now, and it hung on her, like it would on a lifeless hanger. She put it on in front of the seamstress at Glamour Weddings, and waited for her to pin the dress up perfectly. Once she was all set, they left and searched for a wig. Never in a million years did she ever think that she would wear one, but there was no way she would let Jake see her like this.
After a few hours of trying on different styles, Tessa found a shorter styled wig that was elegant, and would look good on her until her hair grew to the same length. It would be a while until that happened, but with the vitamins and everything else that she was taking, she had hoped it would be back sooner rather than later.
The day after their shopping trip they picked up her dress and Tessa felt better than ever. Saturday was only a few days away, and she wanted to be ready for Jake
.
***
Jake couldn’t take it anymore. He broke down in front of the guys.
“Hey, man, we’re so sorry,” Nate said, looking chagrined. “We can’t imagine what you’re going through. How about a drink?”
“I just… I don’t want to live like this. I can’t stand it. I go over every fucking Saturday, I know she sees me. I can see her in the window. She watches. Doesn’t she have a heart?”
“I’m sorry, man, I don’t know what to say. She’s just going through a lot right now, Jake. I’m sure she’ll come around. It’s Tessa.”
It was always Tessa. Everyone knew her. And everyone that knew her loved her. Jake nodded. “I’m gonna skip out on that drink. I really need some shut eye. I’ve been having a rough time. She stopped chemo over a week ago. She’s been given a clean bill of health. Did I tell you she called me last week?”
Nate nodded. “Yeah, you said, but you never said what she wanted.”
“I don’t know what she wanted. I tried calling her back all night. She never returned my call. It’s my guess that she gave up on me because I didn’t answer. I called her parents. Mary Jane is beside herself. She doesn’t understand it. Even Will has been sympathetic, even though since we finally got together he has given me nothing but shit. My mom is about ready to pound Tess. I just want to crawl in a hole.”
The Cowboy's Bride Page 4