by Izzy Shows
Thirty Three
Raven left soon after delivering the awful news that the world as I knew it was in danger, and there was nothing at all I could do about it.
What was truly distressing about that, beyond the obvious, was that I didn’t have the time to worry about it just now. I had more immediate concerns to worry about. The fact was, whether the world ended tomorrow or not, I had to proceed as if it would continue to spin on. I had to get rid of the demon mark to make it through the rest of the trials. If I didn’t… Oy.
Proceed as if the world is going to spin on.
I told myself that because it was the only thing that would allow me to focus. I could worry about the Others later; right now, they were Winter’s problem. And a kingdom of Fae, even one in anarchy, had to be a lot better at keeping the Others at bay than I could at present.
I picked up my cell phone again and dialled Emily’s number.
“Hello, Blair.” She answered the phone sounding quite pleasant. “I’m glad to hear from you.”
“Eh, you might want to wait until after I’ve asked my favour before you decide on that.”
She became serious. “And what is your favour? You know I would do anything for you.”
“I need to get rid of the mark. I found out that Mal knows how to do it. He’s just kept it to himself this entire time. But, I’m afraid to go there alone. Will you come with me?”
“Oh, Blair, of course I will. I’m so glad we’re finally going to get this taken care of,” she said, and I could hear the relief in her voice. She was truly concerned for my wellbeing, and that was just so… Well, it should be expected at this point. After all the time I’d spent with her, I should know how she felt, but it still threw me off-guard every time I ran into her kindness.
There was just no getting around it.
“Thank you. I really appreciate it. When can you come? It’s not ‘leave your work’ urgent, but it is ‘needs to get done today’ urgent.”
“Hm. Well, then, I’ll probably be there later this evening. I’ve got a lot of work to catch up on.”
“Of course. Take your time,” I said. “Just give me a call when you’re on your way, OK?”
“Absolutely. And, Blair?”
“Yes?”
“It’s all going to be OK. I’m sure of it.”
I smiled weakly. “I hope so.”
We hung up after that, and I inhaled deeply as I placed the phone back on the coffee table. There was nothing to do now but wait. I paced the living room for a few minutes, trying to think about what I was going to do when I saw Mal again.
Hey, Mal, I know you don’t care about any of this, but I need you to remove the mark, and I know you know how to do it. So, please, for me, let’s just get rid of it, and you’ll never have to see me again.
That might actually work, but it hurt so much to even think about saying it. I didn’t want to never see him again, but with the mark gone, and the way he was acting, what would be the point in seeing him again?
There wouldn’t be one. I wouldn’t have an excuse to pop by for a visit, and he wouldn’t have a reason to come see me. The mark was all that bound us together, and now I was mere hours away from ridding myself of it.
I took off the cuff to rub against the mark absentmindedly, feeling the way it was raised off my skin like a brand.
This marks you as mine. It means that no other demon can make a deal with you. It will keep you safe.
Wasn’t that what he’d said to me when he gave me the mark? That it would keep me safe from other demons? Was I opening myself up to them by removing the mark, or would my life go back to the normal demonless existence it had been before I met him? After all, I had only met him because Aidan had called him down to make a deal with him.
And Wizards weren’t supposed to deal with demons. That was a huge red flag. I wondered when Aidan had first met Mal, what the circumstances had been. Mal had been friendly enough with Aidan, though Aidan hadn’t enjoyed their conversation, and he hadn’t wanted Mal to take notice of me.
They’d had run-ins before, that much was clear; otherwise, Aidan wouldn’t have known how to call him.
Everything had been so much simpler then, even at the beginning of my world shifting. I’d known who I was and what I stood for, and now everything had become so…muddled.
I was a girl who had dealt with demons, had fought vampires, necromancers, and other demons. I was a girl who was keeping secret from her paladin friend that she was working with that other demon, at the same time I was asking her to help me get rid of my connection to the original demon.
Gods, how had my life become so complicated? I didn’t know what to do with myself.
I let out a long, slow breath and walked over to the couch to take a seat on it. Leaning forward with my elbows on my knees, I laid my head in my hands. Aidan’s necklace swung from my neck, into my field of vision. I stared down at it.
“I don’t know what I’m about, Aidan. I’m scared, and every step I take seems to carry me to yet another thing to be afraid of. Is this the life you meant to bring me into?”
Of course, there was no answer. There would never be an answer.
Aidan was dead, and I had to make these decisions on my own.
Thirty Four
A knock at my door signalled Emily’s arrival, and my gut clenched with anticipation. We were really going to do it: go to Mal’s place and demand his help.
Gods, what if he denies me again?
There was no use worrying about that. He would either deny me or he wouldn’t, and I would find out soon enough. All I could do was hope that he would see reason and help me.
I walked to the door and took down the few wards I had put up in between calling Emily and her arrival. It was now eight o’clock at night—she’d worked very late.
“Hello,” I said, smiling tightly at her.
“Hey, yourself,” she said. “You don’t look so happy for someone who’s about to be freed.”
“I’m nervous,” I said. “I wish this was already over with, so I’d know what he’s going to say when we get over there.”
“Don’t worry about that,” she replied. “We’re going to make him see reason, one way or another. He’s going to help us. We won’t give him a choice.”
“I wish I had your optimism.”
“Don’t you always?” Her vibrant green eyes sparkled at me, and I had to laugh at that.
Of course, I always wanted her optimism; she was full of it, and I always seemed to be floundering in any given situation. I never knew how to feel about whatever I was doing, and she was always so sure of herself. I wished that, just once, I could have the same strength of character she did.
Alas, it wasn’t to be. I would have to settle for the butterflies in my stomach.
“All right, let’s get this over with,” I said.
“Great attitude. I’ll drive.”
We walked to her car in silence. The air was pregnant with anticipation and dread—my own, I thought. Emily was so confident about what we were going to do, I didn’t think she was feeling a lick of anxiety at all.
That was her, though, to a T. Not me at all. That would never be me.
I rounded the side of her car and got in, so anxious that I actually buckled myself in right away. I was always bad about that, and it was a habit I should certainly learn to break, but it spoke to how off my mind was that I did it without thinking about it. Usually, I remembered to fasten the seat belt halfway down the road.
“I know you’re anxious, Blair, but it really is going to be OK. In the next hour, you’re going to be a free woman, and you won’t have to worry about any of this stuff ever again.”
“I want to believe you, Emily. Really, I do. But you didn’t see what Mal was like the last time I saw him.”
She frowned. “What happened?”
“He told me to get out, in no uncertain terms, and that he didn’t care if I died.”
She nodded, more to herself tha
n to me. “Then we’ll make him care.”
I didn’t see how she was going to do that, but I gave up on the idea of getting her to see how hopeless this cause was. I was going to die, and there wasn’t a thing she could do about it.
There wasn’t a thing anyone could do about it, except for Mal. And he didn’t care to.
The rest of the ride was a terse affair. Emily had apparently also given up on convincing me that everything was going to be OK. That was fine by me; I didn’t need more of her optimism right now. It just drove home how unlikely it was that we would get through this in one piece.
As we sped down the street, a memory tickled at my mind, one of another time Emily and I had ridden together in tense silence: the night we’d gone to Tyburn Tree. Neither of us had been in a talkative mood then, either, but that had been an altogether different affair.
“It’s a left here,” I said, pointing at the upcoming light. I’d been giving her directions the entire time, and we were now closing in on Mal’s building. My stomach was tied up in knots, and all I wanted to do was find a bush and vomit. Maybe then I’d feel better.
We pulled into the car park, and as I got out of the car, I tasted the air. A storm was brewing. The sky above was turbulent, promising a storm for the night. That was good. It fit my mood quite nicely.
As soon as we were inside his building, I nodded towards the stairwell, and we climbed the steps in silence. My hands grew shakier the closer we came to his floor, and when we were one floor down, I had to stop and grip the railing. My knuckles were pale, I was holding on to it so tightly, and the urge to vomit was rising inside of me.
I inhaled through my nose sharply, fighting for breath. I was having a panic attack, I realised dully, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. My vision tunnelled, Emily’s voice sounded far away when she called to me, and I couldn’t quite feel the railing beneath my palms.
I’m going to die, and he doesn’t care.
“Why would he?” the mark whispered in my mind, a hideous and snide remark.
I didn’t respond.
Instead, I fought for composure, focusing on the physical things around me. Yes, I could feel the railing beneath my hands, although it was faint. I could see the stairs in front of me, regardless of the limited vision I had. Emily’s voice grew louder in my ears, and I knew I was coming back to myself.
Breathe, Blair. It’s all you can do.
I inhaled, following my own directions. Then I turned my head to look up the stairwell at the fire escape door that led to Mal’s flat. In a moment, we would be inside, and I was going to have to face him.
Breathe.
Letting go of the railing, I gave Emily a tight smile and started forward again. A moment later, we were in front of his door, and I had to decide between knocking and just kicking the damned thing in. Odds were that he wouldn’t open the door for me, but if I barged in, there wouldn’t be much of a chance that he would hear me out, especially if I’d blown in the door.
I knelt in front of the door, leaning close with my head turned so my ear was pressed against the keyhole.
“What will you give me for it?” I heard Mal’s silken voice, lazy and laced with amusement, on the other side of the door. My gut clenched again at the sound, and I had to force my body to quiet. Now was not the time to react to him.
“Ventus,” I said, keeping my voice soft and low as I raised the hand that bore the wind chain on it, unleashing a small stream of air that forced the tumblers inside the lock to shift and unlock the door. I stood up and gave Emily a look—I wasn’t happy about what we were doing, but if Mal had a visitor, he definitely wouldn’t open the door for me.
My hand gripped the doorknob, still shaking, and I pushed the door open.
Inside, I saw Mal sitting on the couch, both arms thrown over the back, one leg crossed so that its heel was resting atop the other knee. He looked the picture of masculinity; it poured out of him in waves. My mouth went dry at the sight of him. He was beautiful. He always would be, with his darkly tanned skin and black hair that hung about his ears in waves.
His gaze slammed into mine, twin pools of molten gold, and I felt my knees go weak.
Steady, Blair. That look isn’t for you. He’s not for you, I had to remind myself, but it was hard to look at him and not want him.
“And why should I sell his contract to you?” Mal asked, his eyes still locked with mine, and I realised there really was someone else in the room. For a moment, there, it had been as if Emily and this other man didn’t exist.
It was a good second or two before I could drag my eyes away and look to see who else was with him. A man of medium stature with dark brown hair: that was all I could see, as he had his back to me.
“I’ll make it worth yer while,” the man said. He didn’t turn to look at me.
I shifted my attention back to Mal, confusion writ across my face. He was still staring at me, but I couldn’t make out what he might be feeling.
“What do you think a soul is worth, Jasper?” Mal asked of the other man. He was practically purring now, his voice a silken caress, and it was clear that his tone wasn’t intended for the man in front of him. It was for me.
My insides felt hollow.
“Would you look at me when you talk to me?” The man sounded frustrated now. I would be too, if Mal had been doing that to me.
In fact, I was a little frustrated already, but not in the same way.
At last, Mal shifted his gaze from me, but not before I saw anger flicker through it. “I’m sorry. It sounded like you were addressing me as an equal. I know you wouldn’t make that mistake.”
The man glanced over his shoulder now—to see what had so captivated Mal, I assumed—and I could see that his face was flushed. When he saw me, he became even angrier, and then he turned back to Mal. “Of course not, sire. I would never dream of it. I just didn’t think that a mere wench would interrupt our negotiations for someone’s soul.”
“You’re trading away a contract?” I shouted, stepping into the room. I was indignant. I couldn’t believe that Mal could be so cavalier with someone’s life.
“Careful,” Mal said, his gaze flicking back to me, pinning me in place. “Do not take that tone with me.”
Now it was I who flushed and became angry. How could he do this? Would he so casually trade my soul away to another demon?
That only strengthened my resolve to get this whole situation taken care of as quickly as possible.
“The people who make contracts with you trust you!” I balled my hands into fists. “How could you do something like this to them?”
“Anyone who trusts me has made a fatal error in judgement,” he said dryly.
He means me.
I was stunned. Was it my soul he was trading away? There was no way for me to know, and I was certain he wouldn’t tell me now.
Of course it isn’t your soul. There are probably thousands of souls he has access to. The odds of him trading your soul just as you enter the room are ludicrous. Don’t even entertain the thought. Anyway, he said ‘his’ contract, so it couldn’t be me. I gave myself hope in that moment, and the logic of it was sound, but I was still antsy.
“Leave us,” he said, but he wasn’t talking to me anymore.
“You would dismiss me for this child?” The other demon was indignant.
“I have other matters to attend to, Jasper. We will pick up this negotiation later. Now, before you earn my ire, get out.”
An instant later, the other demon was gone, a trail of smoke all that remained.
Unlike me, he had listened when Mal spoke. Maybe that should be a lesson to me, but I never learned very well. I had to have things beaten into me, and I knew Mal would give me such a lesson if he thought I needed it.
There’d been a time when we had sparred as friends. He wasn’t looking at me with friendship in his eyes now.
“What are you doing here, Blair? I thought I made myself quite clear the last time we spoke,” he sa
id, the laziness having crept back into his tone.
“How can you be so cavalier with someone’s life?” I refused to let that topic go, astonished that he would do something like this.
He gestured with one hand.
Before I knew it, my back had been slammed against a wall. He gestured again, and the breath was driven from my lungs.
“I don’t like your tone,” he said, standing up. “I thought I made that clear.”
I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. There wasn’t enough oxygen in the room.
In my peripheral vision, I saw Emily come rushing forward. “Unhand her!” Her voice rang, clear and pure, through the room.
Mal watched her charge him, then gestured with his other hand, the first one still poised in the air, aimed in my direction.
Emily was brought to her knees with a hand at her throat. I thought perhaps the air had been stolen from her as well. I could hear her choking, and that filled me with panic.
How could he do this?
“Little paladin, need I remind you? I am not just any demon,” he said, striding towards her. “You do not have dominion over me, and you cannot stand against me.”
He was right. He was Fallen, once an angel of the Lord, and he still had all the power that came with that. I had been a fool to bring Emily into this when she could have been safe at home.
I had killed us both.
Thirty Five
“Mal…phas.” I managed to groan out his name between desperate pants with what air I had left in my lungs. My hands were frozen at my sides; otherwise, they would be clawing at my throat in my desperation to get some air.
His gaze shifted to me, so penetrating that a shiver ran down my spine despite my current predicament.
“You persist, Blair, despite everything,” he said, and for a second he sounded sad.
Tears sprang to my eyes, but I blinked to keep them from falling. Still, one escaped and tracked down my cheek.
He sighed, dropping the hand he had pointed at me. I fell to the floor, coughing as I dragged air into my lungs.