We arrive at the studio and Jonathon lets me out of the car. He signals Candy to stay seated as he walks me to the door.
“I gotta take Candy home. You go on up without me. I won’t be long.” I frown at him. He’s ditching me for the Botox whore. Ashley that’s uncalled for. My subconscious shouts me. I nod my head in agreement. Maybe that thought was a little too dramatic.
“How long will you be?” I ask, pushing my hair away from my face as I do.
“I shouldn’t be any longer than an hour. If you need anything just ask Emily. I won’t be long.” he says as he gently pats my arm. I shiver from his touch. Why does he electrify through me? I watch him walk back over to his car. Candy lets out soft giggles as he climbs in. He slides his arm around her shoulder and he pulls her closer towards him. She leans in and kisses him and then he pulls back and speeds off down the street. My heart breaks a little at the sight of him with Candy. Well you had your chance and you blew it, as usual. There she is again my subconscious telling me how it is. I shake myself as I make my way into the building.
The hallway is busy and the girl at the front desk is swamped with people. I make myself visible to her through the sea of people. She smiles at me and I return her gesture. I climb the stairs and I am relieved when I see Emily walking towards me. She is dressed in her tight skirt suit and as always she is carrying her clipboard. She reaches me and she grabs me by my arm.
“Miss Harper, thank God you’re on time. Claire is already here and she’s in one of her moods.” I look at her in confusion.
“I’m sorry, but who’s Claire?” she presses her lips together as she drags me into a small office. There is only a desk and a plant pot in the room. I look around, who does this office belong to?
“Didn’t Mr Wilde tell you that you have a meeting with a vocal coach?”
“Yeah he told me last night,”
“Well the coach is Claire. She is very busy and she has very, very high standards. You know I don’t know why she even agreed to help Mr Wilde out. Usually she is far too busy to bother with unsigned acts.” Now I am anxious. Emily’s biography of Claire has scared me. My heart rate starts to pick up pace as Emily takes me by the arm again and leads me along the hallway. We stop in front of a black door and she looks at me before we enter. Her blue eyes are soft but intense. Her lips are chapped and her forehead is creased. I feel sorry for her. She doesn’t look any older than me, but her appearance looks very tense. She seems really stressed and I can’t help but think that Mr Wilde isn’t really all that nice to her. I have seen how angry he can get, and I can just picture him getting mad at Emily. He has a way of speaking to people that belittles them. I should know he has done it to me often enough. Emily brings me out of thought with her soft voice.
“Okay you ready?” I smile at her and she smiles back, pushing the door open as she does. We walk into the room and I can hear a sharp voice taking rapidly on a cell phone. We walk further in and then I can see the face that matches the fierce voice. Clair is tall, with short dark hair and green eyes. She is very smartly dressed in black trousers, white blouse and a black blazer. Her make-up is perfect. She looks flawless and now I wish that I had chosen a smarter outfit. I feel grungy in comparison to her. She sees that we have entered the room, so she quickly ends her call. She briefly smiles as she walks over to us. Emily introduces me. “Claire this is Miss Harper.” she smiles at me as she reaches out and firmly shakes my hand.
“It’s nice to finally meet you Miss Harper. I’ve heard a lot about you from Johnny.” Johnny? She calls him Johnny? I try to compose myself. Stop thinking about him Ashley.
“It’s really nice to meet you too and please call me Ashley.” Emily excuses herself and Claire leads me further into the room. I look around and gasp as I take in my surroundings. The room is small and intimate. There are pictures hanging on the soft coloured walls of all the greats. From Madonna to Prince all my musical heroes are surrounding me, encouraging me to do well. There is a large piano situated in the middle of the room. A microphone, drum kit and stacks of books occupy the back wall. My head is rushing. Out of all the rooms I have been in, this one is my favourite. Claire sits down at the piano and she unbuttons her blazer. She slides the lid from the piano keys and she rests her manicured fingers on the keys. She looks ups at me, her green eyes locking on mine. I smile at her as she stares at me.
“Okay Ashley let’s start with some warm up exercises.” I nod at her and then she starts to speak again. “So just copy me. When I finish you start, okay?” I nod again. I don’t want to waste time with words. I just want to get started. Claire giggles briefly and then she drums her fingers along the keyboard, going from low to high, humming the tune as she plays. She finishes and then she does it again, but this time I hum the tune. My voice is smooth and Claire smiles at me. “Wow, you have depth in your voice. Try it again.” I can’t hold back my smile. Claire the so called ‘ICE QUEEN’ likes my voice. She plays again and I hum again. Claire smiles as she looks at me. “Okay, now follow my lead, again.” she uses the high notes on the keyboard and sings the most common warm up exercise.
“LA, LA, LA, LA, LA,” her voice ascends and gets higher at the end. She finishes and I repeat what she has just done. My voice is high and I hit the high notes perfectly. Claire is impressed.
“That’s perfect. I think you’re warmed up enough. I would like to hear you sing, do you have any requests?” I run my finger along my lip as it think. One song sticks out the most.
“Big Girls Don’t Cry?” Claire smiles, she likes my choice. She begins to play the intro and I wait for my cue. The music rolls and I get ready.
“Da Da Da Da
The smell of your skin lingers on me, now
You're probably on your flight back to your hometown
I need some shelter of my own protection baby
Be with myself in centre, clarity, peace, serenity.
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We got some straightening out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've gotta get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry, Don't cry, Don't cry”
Claire stops playing before I go into the second verse. My heart starts to pound. What if she didn’t like my performance?
“Okay,” she says resting her hands onto her thighs. “Johnny was right you do have a good voice, lazy but good none the less. What we have to work on is your tone. Right now it’s all over the place and a good performer must have good tone. Your pitch levels are good, but a little too intense. You need to soften your pitch, let’s try it again.” I nod as I take in her advice. I push my hair away from my face as she plays the intro again. I sing the words and I try to remember Claire’s advice. I try to control my pitch and I soften and clarify my words. I feel that my voice is smoother and more subtle this time around. I finish. Let’s hope Claire was more impressed this time.
“That was better, still not the money note, but better none the less. Try it again. This time think of the words as a delicate flower. You need to be gentle, or they will break, okay?”
“Okay,” I say as she starts the intro for the third time. I sing the words again, making sure that I have followed every inch of her advice. My voice is softer and my tone is sharp, but only when it needs to be. I smooth out the words and I embrace them and take them into my presence. I treat them nicely and with respect. I close my eyes for more concentration, and I look after the words as if they were a flower. I finish and Claire laughs.
“That was much better. Your tone was sharp yet smooth. Your pitch was subtle and the way you changed keys was stunning. I must applause you girl, you have a great voice. Johnny told me that you were awesome, but I was a little sceptical, but honey that was banging.” I blush. She likes me and Jonath
on said that I was awesome. I am on cloud nine. I am so happy right now. All this finally seems real. I am working with a real vocal coach and she thinks that I am good. This is what dreams are made of and I am so lucky.
“Thanks, it means a lot to hear that from someone like you.” Claire presses her lips together at my words.
“May I ask why that is?” I blush again.
“It means a lot to me that you like my voice. I have had a lot of rejection in the past. I guess it’s just nice to hear that someone believes in me, you know?”
“You should know that Johnny believes in you. When he talks about you, you can tell that he has a passion for you. He wants you to succeed and to have your dreams fulfilled.” I can’t believe what she’s saying. I didn’t know that Jonathon felt that way. I am shocked and I don’t know how to reply. Luckily Claire talks again and saves me from responding. “Johnny may appear hard on the surface, but inside he is pure velvet.” Claire has a twinkle in her eye as those words pass from her lips. I begin to think that she has a little crush on Mr Wilde-Velvet.
“To be honest he has been a little … tough on me.” Claire nods, she agrees. I get the feeling she knows all about his domineering ways.
“I can understand that. Believe me.” I slightly narrow my eyes at her at words. My mind erupts with images of Jonathon and Claire. I can’t escape them as her words ring in my ears. I am sensing that she and Jonathon might have had a fling or something along those lines in the past. I try to maintain my cool composure as I ask those dreadful words.
“How do you know Mr Wilde?” Claire melts at the mere sound of his name. Can I really listen to her gushing about him?
“Oh, me and Johnny go way back. Our families are really close friends. We were always with the Wilde’s, every summer in fact. We vacationed together and Johnny and I grew really close.” I resist the urge to roll my eyes. Why am I so bothered about her past with Mr Gucci? Is not as if he is my boyfriend or anything, but the sound of Claire’s voice gushing about him makes me feel physically sick. I am scared that my inappropriate feelings towards Claire are the result of my incompatibility for Jonathon. We come from different worlds. He’s rich and has the perfect lifestyle. Whereas I am poor and my life is far from perfect. I have done things in the past that would shock him. Things that I don’t even want to think back on. Even if I could open up to him and let him into my world. There’s no way that he would want to be in it, knowing what kind of person I am. I can’t deny that there is some type of chemistry between us, but I can’t get close to him. I need to stay focused on my music. But my senses are tingling. I want to know more about Mr Wilde and Claire.
“That’s sweet. You guys must have a really good … relationship?” Claire wickedly smiles. She knows what I am getting at. But will she answer?
“Are you asking if Johnny and I were … lovers?” I blush, but I remain cool. I want to know the answer. I nod and Claire pouts her lips at me. She runs her fingers through the ends of her short black hair. Her eyes soften as she replies. “We had a brief fling, but it was … terrible.” I frown. How could being with him be terrible? I would have thought that Claire and Jonathon would have been great together. They obviously come from the same background, so shouldn’t that be a good foundation for a relationship?
“How could that be? You guys seem perfect or each other. Being friends and then turning it into more, isn’t that what everyone craves?” Claire nods as she agrees, but her eyes lock on mine, alerting me that she has a different opinion.
“Being friends first is wonderful and it does make for a better relationship, but it didn’t work for me and Johnny. Don’t get me wrong he was great in … so… many… ways. But at the end of the day we realised that being friends was more important than having great…” She pauses, “well, you know?” I blush that was way too much information and I think that I am over this conversation. I smile politely at Claire; she knows that she has freaked me out a little with her brutal honesty. Her iPhone beeps and she is quick to reply to a text. I excuse myself; I want to examine the pictures on the walls further. I walk over to the picture of Madonna and I smile. She is standing on the stage, in some massive arena. The crowd is buzzing and she is oozing with greatness. I exhale; I would give my right arm for an experience like that.
The door opens and I immediately tear my eyes away from the picture so that I can see who has come into the room. I blush when I see Jonathon gliding into the room. I can’t escape the image of Claire and him having their ‘great sex’. I shiver at that thought. If you don’t want to think about it, then don’t. My subconscious is on one today. I clear my throat as he walks over to me. I look up at him. Man he’s gorgeous. His eyes are dark, like big chocolate buttons glowing through me. His lips are soft and a vivid reminder of him kissing Candy erupts through me. I have got to stop thinking about him. He briefly smiles at me and his speech is quick and very brief.
“Hey,” he says in quiet tone. I stare deep into his eyes as I reply.
“Hey,” he smirks and then the volume erupts as Claire comes rushing towards us. Jonathon pulls her close to him when she reaches us and he gives her a massive bear hug. I am jealous. I want to be the target of his affection. You finally admit it. Too bad it’s too late. I shake myself out of thought as I focus on Jonathon and Claire.
“Claire ¿cómo has estado?” Great he’s speaking Spanish, again.
“Bien y tu?” Oh and of course she does too.
“Bueno,” she finally tears herself away from him and she straightens her blouse. I stand awkwardly in front of them. I feel stupid and out of the loop. I don’t have a clue what they were saying. For all I know they could have been talking about me. Now you’re just being paranoid. Jonathon looks at me as he begins to talk.
“So what do you think of Miss Harper’s voice?” Claire nods.
“She has a wonderful voice, but there are still a few things that we need to go over.” Claire responds. Jonathon looks at her and then back at me.
“I have told Miss Harper that she needs to work on her tone. Do you agree with my suggestion?”
“Yeah, but we managed to move really quickly. Once I told Ashley what I thought she should work on, she did it straight away. I feel that she is much improved.” Jonathon briefly smiles at me. I melt into a thousand awkward pieces at the sight of the crinkled line that has formed in his cheek. Why does he have to affect me so much? I wish that I could just not be attracted to him. Everything would be so much easier. But he makes it impossible for me, how can I not to be attracted to him when he looks stunning, all of the time?
“That’s … wonderful Miss Harper. I must hear the new and improved you!”
“Jonathon its Ashley, remember?” I say playfully. His eyes intensify at my comment. Oh no, I know that look, he’s mad at me.
“Please don’t acknowledge me so informally. When we are in the office, its Mr Wilde, you got that?” I feel so small. How dare he embarrass me like this? He is so rude and inappropriate. I don’t get him, why does she have to be so cruel to me?
“I’m sorry, Mr Wilde.” I apologise, well what else can I do? I don’t want to seem unprofessional and especially not in front of Claire. If Mr Wilde wants to be a jerk, then let him. I am not going to stoop to his level. I am not going to look like the bad guy, by confronting him about this. Instead, I will smile and get on with the rest of my day. But inside I will be screaming at him.
The next few hours consist of singing and practising everything that Claire and Mr Wilde has taught me. My throat is actually starting to get a little scratchy from the pressure. Just when I think that I have done a good job, he’s there to alert me otherwise. He never has a positive thing to say, it’s always ‘you can do better’ or ‘that was crap’. I don’t know how to please him. Claire is easy. She goes with the flow and she has even corrected him a few times when he has criticised my performance. I don’t know what his problem is and I have had just about all I can take from him.
I push myse
lf off of the stool and I run my fingers through my hair. Claire is stressed. I can tell by her eyes. Jonathon looks tense and in a foul mood. I am surprised at how quickly his moods change. I have never known a guy to have PMS before, but then there’s always a first for everything.
“What are you doing? We aren’t finished yet.” he says locking his dark eyes on mine. I look at him, trying to hide my emotion.
“It’s after four and I have to work at five.”
“So your just gonna leave?” he says in a sharp tone.
“C’mon Johnny leave the poor girl alone. It’s been a long day and we all need a break.” Claire sticks up for me. I smile at her as she slips her blazer over her shoulders. She grabs her designer purse from the small table and she slings it over her wrist. She walks over to Mr Wilde and he gently kisses her cheek. I try to look away, but my eyes fix on them. She pulls back and she brushes past me as she walks over to the door. “I’ll see you again when you have something to record.” I smile at her again as she opens the door. In a flash she is out of sight and I am left alone with him. I feel uneasy as we stand opposite one another. I don’t know what to say to him. Inside I feel mad at him for the way he has acted today and I don’t know if I even want to talk to him right now. He makes eye contact with me and I get the feeling he knows that I am mad at him.
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