She rose stiffly and walked to her husband's side. "My condolences for your loss. I'd be honoured to help you, Mrs McGregor. It's small thanks for already knowing we'll have a place to stay." She dropped an awkward curtsey.
"If you have writing paper and a pen, I'll add a postscript to my aunt's solicitor now, telling him you're my preferred tenants. If you'll deliver my letter personally, of course. I don't know how long it will take by post." I managed a weak grin.
Twenty minutes later, it was done. Mrs Hughes tucked my letter into her writing case as her husband swallowed, looked nervous and promised that everything would be taken care of...and could I please assure my husband of that?
I remembered his well-placed fear of William and agreed to mention it. Perhaps if William and Sarah knew Merry's house was already in good hands, they wouldn't be so insistent that I had to go there.
Seven
I woke in William's arms the next morning, my head aching from so many tears yesterday.
"Will you be all right today, lass? Sarah will stay with you, but if you need me, so will I. They can continue construction of the new pier without me for a day." He resumed rhythmically stroking my hair.
"I think I cried myself out yesterday, William. I just...feel so guilty. Haring off after you when I should have stayed home to take care of her. She would've wanted to know that I was happy with you, too, that I found you and...now she'll never know."
"It's not your fault. Sarah's right about that. You're no doctor, lass. And I'm sure if she's the good person you say she was, she does know you're happy. She'll be looking down from her afterlife, secure in the knowledge that with her help, you found happiness, too. And she'll know all about little Belinda..."
I sat up, squinting at his face in the dim, pre-dawn light. "You truly think that? It's not just a fairy story? That death is not an end but some part of us lives on?"
William chuckled. "Of course I do, lass. I believe in ghosts, don't I, because I thought yours haunted me for years. Your body dies and your soul goes on. Maybe to a better place, or to haunt those responsible."
My heart lightened a little. "Merry isn't haunting me. I had no idea she was dead until I received the letter. That means...that means she doesn't blame me for her death."
His arms tightened around me. "She can't blame you. You were on the Islander the day she died, haunting me, or so I thought. It's not your fault. Simply...her time." He took a deep breath, his chest rising beneath my cheek. "If...if my time comes before yours, lass, I have a favour to ask."
His...time? William wasn't pregnant. Realisation dawned. "No. Don't even say it. You won't die before me. I won't let you!" I'd fight Mother myself to protect him. Fight every fish in the ocean with my voice and my body and every scrap of strength I owned.
"Easy, lass. No one can fight their time when it comes. Not even you, though I suspect death would have its hands full trying to take you. I just...seeing how heartbroken you were yesterday and all those tears that I'd have given anything to stop. I felt so helpless. I can repair a pier, a railway line, a ship...but your broken heart was beyond me. And if my time came...God forbid, but if it did...I don't know how I could bear to see your pain and not be able to comfort you any more. If fate forces me to leave you, rail at me. Vent your fury on me for leaving you alone. But don't cry for me. I can't bear the thought of...of..." He swore as he realised his words had already brought tears to my eyes.
If I failed to protect him and Mother killed him, his death would be my fault. I swore by everything I held dear, by my own life, that I wouldn't let that happen. "William, I've already lost one husband. And I remember that it didn't matter whether my eyes were dry as a desert or if I cried a new ocean, still the pain in my heart remained. And Giuseppe...my love for him is but a faint whisper of what I feel for you. If I lose you, my heart would shatter into a million razor-sharp shards that will swim in my bloodstream, piercing me over and over with the pain of my smashed heart. Don't...don't talk about it, please. And you take care at work today. Today and every day, so that I never have to endure the agony of losing you."
Cook came to the door then and told him that his tea was ready, stealing William from me so he could start work for the day.
Eight
William didn't return for breakfast, which happened often now he was working on the pier. The original one had been swept away in a summer cyclone and he swore his design would withstand even the fiercest swells in Flying Fish Cove. I didn't doubt it. He was so proud of the project, he got carried away working on it and forgot to eat. If the coolies didn't insist on finishing work at the end of the day, he'd have worked long into the night, too.
I wrapped some toast and muffins in a napkin to take to William and joined Anne and Sarah for what had become our regular morning walk down to the port to see the progress on William's pier.
Today when we arrived, the men were all lined up along the beach beside the lighters they used to carry the materials to the bottom of the pier, with only a few on the structure itself, peering over the edge at the water below. My heart lurched and I pushed my way through the throng to stand on the wet sand. A commotion beneath the pier drew my attention and I blinked, doubting my own eyes. The water was alive with a veritable frenzy of sharks, fighting one another, leaping into the air and thunking against the struts. More than one of the metal beams bore kinks and dents from the fierce fighting, for several of the sharks were ten or fifteen feet long. I scanned the surface for the body causing their frenzy, for surely something had to have incited their aggression, but all I saw was blood in the water and a few shreds of what might be floating flesh. Then my gaze travelled up the pier and I gasped.
Hanging halfway up the structure, just above the waves, was a tiger shark bigger than all the rest. He – it was a male – looked close to twenty feet long and his innards spilled out of a gouge in his belly that ran from his tail up to his jaw. The big hook from the winch above was buried deep inside the eviscerated carcass, suspending the whole gory mess over his voracious, snapping brethren.
The men behind me whispered, wondering who had fished up the monstrous shark. A human could have done it, with the right bait, quick reflexes and a whole lot of luck, but I knew no human would be crazy enough to venture into the water to fasten the winch hook into the body before hoisting it up. For a human, it would be tantamount to suicide.
A pod of dolphins could have killed a shark this big, but none of them could have operated the winch. Only one of my kind could call such a powerful shark, slaughter it and walk on land to winch it up as a grisly decoration on the new port infrastructure.
And who among my kind would play such a pointless prank?
Mother. But she hadn't meant it to be pointless at all. Her purpose was to convey a warning to me...about William.
I'd have to return to the Grotto and speak to her, telling her that I wasn't interested in returning to Cocos with her. And if she harmed William...
I glimpsed a sapphire-blue ripple that was no wave and no shark, either. Mother's head rose to the surface and her eyes met mine. I nodded slightly, jerking my head to the east where the Grotto was.
She nodded and sank out of sight.
This afternoon, I'd pay the Grotto a visit. Without William.
Nine
I waited until William had returned to work before I announced my intentions to Sarah: "I'm going for a swim."
"Swimming? Cold water isn't good for the baby and remember what happened last time you and Will went out in the cove." Sarah's frown deepened. "It's probably still full of sharks. And you've just finished lunch! You should wait until Will returns and see what he says."
William would flatly refuse to let me anywhere near the cove, I knew, though the sharks posed no danger to me.
"I'm not going to the cove. I'll go to the Grotto, the cave near Waterfall where William and I swim together sometimes. There aren't any sharks there. In fact, there's not even any salt in the cave pool."
She
still looked doubtful. "How far is it?"
I shrugged "A few miles."
"You can't walk that far in nothing but your bathing suit!" she exclaimed in horror.
For a moment, I wished I could tell her that I'd prefer to swim the distance naked.
"I won't. I'll take my Triumph, like William and I usually do. I know the way. There's only one track and it goes straight there. I'd have to be a complete idiot to get lost." I felt like a complete idiot as I pulled on my boots, hat and gloves, leaving the rest of my leathers at home, but I couldn't fasten my leather pants around the ruffled bathing suit. Stretching it across my thickened waist had been challenge enough.
As always when Sarah lost an argument, she fired the same parting shot: "But think of the risk to your baby."
I clipped the stand to the rear mudguard and mounted my motorcycle. "She'll enjoy the swim. She usually kicks less when I'm in the water. And I feel better for floating because I can't feel her weight."
I could feel the weight of Sarah's disapproval as she frowned at my back, but I shoved the thought to the back of my mind. This was to protect William. And I'd need all my flighty mind's focus on the motorcycle because William wouldn't be here to help me if I forgot what to do.
Casting my memory back to our last ride to the Grotto, I listed the start sequence under my breath as I touched each lever. "Clutch, spark? Throttle, then air. Fuel." I wrinkled my nose as I smelled it, then lifted my boot to stomp the engine into life. "Kickstart. Adjust the spark and the throttle until it sings. Stand." I glanced at the stand, which was firmly fastened to the mudguard. "Gear. And off we go." I opened up the throttle as I released the clutch.
The Triumph thrummed between my legs, carrying me out of Sarah's sight around the bend. I breathed a sigh of relief as I relaxed and simply enjoyed the ride.
All too soon I arrived at the Grotto, cruising to a stop more smoothly than I had the first couple of times. William would be proud, I thought as I allowed myself a small smile of triumph. I draped my hat, gloves and boots over the seat and contemplated adding the bathing suit, too, so I could shift to my tail. No, I decided. I'd set Mother on edge with my human appearance instead. After all, I'd come to tell her that I'd chosen a life with legs on land.
I luxuriated in the sun-warmed water in the Grotto pool for a few minutes before I drew in a deep breath and plunged into the tunnel. One of my ruffles caught on the rough stone and ripped, but I continued swimming. I could blame it on the climb back up the cliff, if anyone at home asked.
She waited for me in the water below, but I ignored her as I made my way to the rock ledge that I'd used for a bed when this cave was my home. Cold and hard compared to my life with William. Why in water would I want to come back to this? Mother was crazy if she thought I would.
I perched on the edge of the ledge, kicking my feet through the water as if I didn't have a care in the world. "The shark was careless, Mother. What would the Elder Council say if they knew you flaunted our existence in front of hundreds of humans?" I realised I'd spoke in English and repeated the words in our own language of sound and gesture. The high-pitched squeaks I emitted echoed around the cave, a cacophony of distorted mermaid voices the like of which I hadn't heard in almost a decade. And I found I didn't miss it.
"None of them saw me. And it got your attention." Her gestures flowed with a familiarity that mine lacked.
Had I forgotten the language of my own people so readily in my time on land? I should have felt shame or sadness at the loss, but I found it gave me satisfaction. It was easier to live like a human when I thought like one.
Mother stretched out on the surface, so her flukes extended beneath my toes. Cream over sapphire blue, the colour of William's eyes. "I could have used your human lover to decorate the cove instead, but I was unsure if you were finished with him yet. Besides, your assassination skills are not in question. Not after you slayed your first lover before you even knew you carried his child. Your kill count is impressive for one so young."
As if I'd meant to kill those aboard the Emden or the Sydney. Or Giuseppe, whose life I'd tried to save, not take. "If you so much as touch William, I will kill YOU."
She laughed. "You presume to command me, child? I rule the Elder Council of the Indian Ocean. No one dares to disobey me." Her eyes flashed dangerously and I fought down my fear. It wouldn't do to show weakness in front of her, for she'd spot it instantly.
I reclined against the wall, pretending it was a comfortable cushion instead of cold, unyielding rock. "Yet I have not obeyed you for a decade or more and I have no intention of doing so now. Do the Elder Council know your secret?" I stabbed a finger at her name carved into the wall. "So much for the Elder of the Gold line. You are as black as your heart, and so am I."
"It does not matter who my father was. None of the ocean's gift in this ocean can trace a clearer line of Gold ancestry than I can." Mother's expression was smug. "I made sure of that when Mother showed me this cave."
"I thought Zarrineh and her daughters died in the Krakatoa eruption north of here. At least, that is what Duyong told me. The lesson for that story is that subsea vents are to be avoided at all costs." I eyed Mother. "Are you saying you caused the explosion, or were you merely responsible for sending Zarrineh there to investigate it when you knew it was unsafe?"
"The Gold line are known for their pride, as the Black line are known for their ruthlessness in battle. I mentioned to Zarrineh that Mother and I had seen glowing stone beneath the ocean's surface. She denied its existence and I told her to ask Mother or go and see it for herself. Her twin daughters were training in geology, so they accompanied her." Mother's eyebrows rose. "I simply neglected to tell her that the dissolved fumes from the vent were as poisonous as a cone shell. She was the stone expert, after all. Surely an expert would know such things."
Not if she'd never seen molten volcanic rock before, I fumed. Much like Mother sending me ashore without knowing a word of English or even the basic customs of the people I intended to seduce. Stupid and short-sighted. How were our people to survive if they were guided by the likes of her? They were doomed and they wouldn't take me down with them.
"A good leader would not waste valuable people in the heedless pursuit of personal power," I blurted out.
Mother stared at me and I realised I'd never heard this from her in her interminable lectures on leadership. I'd learned from watching William in his dealings with Captain Hughes and his subordinates. Hughes wouldn't be alive today if William was the same sort of leader as Mother.
"They were a threat to me, to Duyong, to you – " she began.
"Shark shit, Mother. I was not even born yet." I heard her shocked gasp, but continued, "A good leader holds power through personal strength, communication and charisma. Building relationships, defusing situations before they explode and not through pissing people off!" I forced myself to smile. "Does the Council know what you are doing here?"
Mother lost her temper. "Bringing you home, you ungrateful, disobedient child!"
My heart froze in my chest, but I widened my smile to hide the chill. "I am not a child. Nor was I a child when you exiled me, a fact you seem to have forgotten. And what do I have to be grateful for? That you stole my daughter and turned me out of the only home I had ever known, without the knowledge I would need to survive in the human world? Make no mistake, Mother. Humans own this world and one day they will own the oceans, too. As for disobedient...what power do you hold over me any more? I cannot think of a single thing I should do for you. Except tell you that if you string sharks up in the cove again, I will tell the humans you were responsible for it. And they will hunt you."
Her mouth gaped in shock. "You cannot. To share the secret of our existence with humans...you would have to kill them all!"
I laughed. "Mother, you saw what I did to the Emden as a child. Do not underestimate my powers now I am grown. I can bend every human on this island to my will, and kill them if I must." My insides writhed in horror at the t
hought, but I firmed my expression to hide the turbulence beneath the surface.
Suspicion narrowed her eyes and I knew I'd failed. "You do not enjoy killing, however skilled you are. Come home with me now and I will leave the humans here alone."
"An empty offer, Mother. You must leave them alone anyway, or risk exposing yourself for what you are, while I move freely among them." I moistened my mouth, wishing for a cup of tea. Surely it was afternoon tea time at home – I could mount my motorcycle and be home in a matter of minutes. Suddenly the etiquette of a formal afternoon tea seemed a lot more logical than anything Mother had to say.
"What about your lover? He surely knows what you are and for that his life is forfeit," she taunted, her eyes sparkling as if she tasted victory.
"You underestimate me, Mother. He is as ignorant of our kind as the other humans on the island." Except that he'd once seen my tail and thought me a dragon, I thought, turning to go so she wouldn't catch my consternation. If William came to the Grotto and saw Mother, she'd have an excuse to kill him to preserve our secret. I had to keep him from the Grotto at all costs, then, I resolved, swimming for the tunnel to the surface.
"He will no longer be ignorant when he sees his child. Your daughter will be one of us, and you will not be able to hide it. Your time on land is limited by the baby you carry. It is a long swim to the Birthing Grounds, and your time is running out, child." Her hollow laugh echoed in the cave below. "You will come to me before it is your time. I know it."
The fingers of fear closed into a fist around my heart as I broke the surface in the Grotto pool. Sunlight couldn't warm me as shivers wracked my body, but I kicked my Triumph into life and set off before Mother emerged to taunt me further.
Ocean's Birth Page 3