Desire (Venture Capitalist Book 3)

by Ainsley St Claire

  Fuck it, cheeseburger it is. I can start my diet again tomorrow. Even if tomorrow never comes.

  “You’re beautiful tonight, Hadlee.”

  “Thank you. Of course, you’re used to seeing me in jeans and a lab coat.”

  “You’re also beautiful in a lab coat.”

  Wanting to change the subject, I ask, “How’s Lilly holding up?”

  “She’s fine. Tell me, how are you doing?”

  Ken’s hand wanders to my leg, and I politely brush it away. I’m not interested in him in the least. “Ken, I’m not really comfortable with your hand on my leg. You live with Vanessa, and I don’t mess with men who are involved with other women.”

  “Vanessa doesn’t ever have to know.”

  I try to look happy because I have to work with him and don’t want it to be uncomfortable, but my patience is running thin. “Ken, I thought we were here to talk about Lilly.”

  He softly rubs my arm, caressing me, and every nerve in my body wants to yell, “Stop.”

  I push his hand away and firmly state, “If you can’t keep this professional, then I’ll leave.”

  In a slick and syrupy voice, he tells me, “Well, you’re no fun.”

  “No, I’m not. Please tell me about Lilly. She’s on my schedule later this week, and I’d like to understand what you’re suggesting as her oncologist.”

  “I have no idea. I’ll send over her notes.”

  The waitress arrives as I stand to leave. “Thanks, Ken, for meeting me and wasting my time.” I throw my napkin on the table and call a Lyft, having them drop me off at the grocery store so I can hit their salad bar. It isn’t perfect, but it’s better than a cheeseburger and fries—well, as long as I have some lettuce with the salad dressing.

  When I get home, I’m surprised to find Cameron’s motorcycle sitting in my driveway, but he’s nowhere to be seen. Good thing I didn’t drive to the restaurant. I walk into my house and head up the stairs, surprised to hear the television on. “Hello?”

  “Hey. Up here. Your contractor let me in as he was leaving.”

  “That makes me feel safe,” I reply sarcastically.

  “Have you looked around your place?” He points to the lack of walls in my kitchen, the hanging wires in the living room, and a nail that was missed in the cleanup. “The contractor tells me you have no heat and that if the inspectors catch you here, he’ll be fined.”

  “Cameron, it’s only the kitchen. I have water—”

  “But no hot water, or heat. The contractor was very clear that you aren’t supposed to be living here.”

  “I can shower at the hospital, and that’s what blankets and sweaters are for.”

  “Was living under my roof so bad that you’d put your life in jeopardy and live in these conditions? And workmen are coming and going all the time, too.”

  I sit in a chair and cover my face. I can’t believe I’m going to be this honest. “Cameron, you don’t understand. I have feelings for you that aren’t reciprocated. You don’t want what I want.” My voice cracks as I fight back the tears. “I can’t live that close to you. Each time we’re together, you take a piece of me, and there isn’t much of me left.”

  “Damn it, Hadlee.” He takes his baseball cap off and runs his fingers through his hair. Just above a whisper, he argues, “You don’t get it at all. I’m totally fucked up. There’s something wrong with me. I do have feelings for you, but I don’t want you to deal with the mess that is me. You met my dad. You spotted his cirrhosis right away. He was driving the night my mom was killed. That shit messed me up. I have no role models to know how to do relationships well. I’m no prize, and you deserve better than me.”

  “Why do you get to make the decision for both of us? Plus, are you forgetting my family? My mom dies of breast cancer, and then my dad proceeds to marry seven more times, searching for her replacement. None of the women were interested in his darling daughter, only his checkbook. My history isn’t perfect either, but whose is?”

  “I don’t want you in this house,” he begs.

  “I have no place to go, and I won’t go to your house.”

  “I’m calling CeCe, then.”

  “Don’t you dare.” I stand, ready for a fight. I’ve gone from hurt to angry in a matter of seconds. “Cameron, you do that and I’ll never speak to you again. Just leave.”

  “Fine. This is a city full of hotels. I’m calling the Marker, and you can stay there. I know the owners.”

  “What part of this do you not get? I can’t afford a hotel at $300 a night.” I’m done with this conversation. I plop down in my favorite overstuffed chair. “Just leave, Cameron.”

  He stares at me, looking puzzled and confused. He doesn’t understand why I feel like I do, but that’s because he doesn’t feel the same about me as I do about him.

  “Fine,” he says finally, “but this is the last night you can live here. Tomorrow I’m calling CeCe and telling her about your place. And just so you know, I’m sleeping on your couch tonight. You can’t be here alone. It isn’t safe.”

  You are not the boss of me. I will never speak to you again if you call CeCe or Greer.

  If he calls my friends, that’ll be the end of anything. I won’t even be able to be friends with him. I’m too upset to talk to him right now; I’ll have this conversation with him in the morning when I’ve had the opportunity to calm down.

  I get up and walk into my room, slamming the door shut behind me. That alone helps to calm me down a bit.

  Lying in my bed, I look at the ceiling and see some smoke damage. He’s probably right. I shouldn’t stay here, but I don’t have a lot of options right now.

  I start to cry.

  Damn it, Cameron!

  Cameron

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  She absolutely infuriates me. She can stay for free at my house. And I have no doubt that Greer or CeCe would care if she needed to couch-surf at their place. I want to punch a wall, but not only do I not want to scare her—or me, for that matter—but I don’t want to break my hand.

  Why can’t she see how dangerous it is to stay here?

  I’m angry, and I can’t sleep. I keep replaying our fight in my head, rationalizing how she needs to move and be far away from me.

  I finally fall asleep but am woken with a start when my phone rings. As I answer, I glance at the time on my phone, seeing it’s shortly after three. “Hello?”

  “Cameron, this is Dr. Morris. I’m sorry for the late call. We may have found a liver donor for your dad. We’re going to do surgery in a few hours once the organ arrives. It isn’t an easy surgery, and there’s the possibility he may not make it. I suggest you come in and visit with your dad before the surgery.”

  Catching my bearings and trying to see through the fog caused by the lack of sleep, I finally comprehend what he’s telling me. “Of course. I’m on my way.”

  I sit for a minute and process everything he said. They have a liver coming in. He wasn’t a good candidate for a transplant because of the cancer. How the hell did this happen? I can’t leave Hadlee here. She can’t stay here anymore. It’s dangerous.

  Fuck!

  I knock on her bedroom door. “Hadlee?” She doesn’t respond, so I knock again and say, “The hospital just called. They’ve located a liver for my dad. Can you come with me? I need your help.”

  She swings the door open wide. Her hair’s a matted mess, and her mascara has created raccoon eyes that run in black streaks down her face from crying. “They found a donor?”

  “Apparently, yes.” Searching her eyes, I explain, “The doctor suggested I spend time with him before he goes under anesthesia, just in case it’s the last time.”

  “Okay. Let me get dressed.”

  I nod. “I’ll wait. I can call a Lyft.”

  “I have parking privileges at the hospital,” she yells over her shoulder. “We can take my car.”

  “Great. Thanks.”

  I’m pacing in the living room as I wait for her,
preparing for the worst. I’m an only child. Does my dad even have a will?

  Suddenly she appears, seeming refreshed as if she’s had ten hours of sleep. She’s absolutely beautiful.

  She’s keeping her distance from me. I get it. I don’t like it, but I get it. And I will make my arguments to her after we get through some of this mess.

  My motorcycle’s in the middle of the driveway, so I push it into her garage before we climb into her SUV to drive to the hospital. When we arrive, I head right to my dad’s room. A nurse is fussing with his IV, and the pain and irritation are evident on his face. Rather than welcome me, he says, “What are you doing here?”

  “Your doctor called me. I hear you’re having surgery later this morning.”

  “Yeah, that’s what they tell me.” He gawks when he sees who’s behind me, then lights up. “Hey, Dr. Hadlee. Will you be doing the surgery?”

  She comes over and sits on the edge of the bed next to him, taking his hands in hers. “You wouldn’t want that. I did a surgery rotation in medical school, but I’m much better at giving shots and checking for ear infections.” My dad visibly relaxes as she talks to him, forcing my eyes wide.

  “I’d rather get a few shots and be checked for an ear infection,” he confides. “Did my asshole son apologize? He doesn’t deserve you, you know.”

  Rather than agree or disagree, she just smiles at him. “Did the doctor walk you through how this will work today?” He nods. I watch on as she translates a complicated surgery, describing what they’re going to do so he completely understands. She has him eating out of her hands.

  What the fuck am I doing letting this woman go? She knows how fucked up I am, and yet she still wants to be with me.

  We sit with my dad until they force us to the surgical waiting room. As they roll him away in his bed, I tell him, “I love you, Dad. Be strong in there.”

  He yells back, “I love you, too, Cameron. Don’t let Hadlee go.”

  I reach for her hand, and she gives me a reassuring squeeze. As soon as the words are out there, the truth hits me. I care about this woman. She accepts me for me, and I would be a fool to let her go.

  I turn to her and bring her in for a bear hug. I nuzzle her neck to whisper in her ear and am caught off-guard by her scent. She’s simply intoxicating. “I’m so sorry. I’m just… so… sorry.” I find it’s all I can say to her at the moment.

  “Me, too.”

  We hold hands as we walk into the waiting room, where all my friends are waiting for us.

  Mason stands as soon as he sees me. “How’s your dad?”

  Everyone moves over to talk to us. The girls try to hug me, but I won’t let go of Hadlee’s hand. “They just wheeled him into surgery.”

  “It’s an eight-hour surgery,” Hadlee explains. “The concern’s always rejection.”

  Emerson has my other hand in hers and says, “Let’s go find breakfast. There’s a great place near here in Noe Valley.”

  “Thanks, but I think I’m going to stay here so I’m close if they need me.”

  She smiles at me. “Well, San Francisco University Hospital Cafeteria, it is.”

  “Would you like me to get your computer from your house?” Hadlee asks.

  I don’t want her to go, but she has a job. We all have jobs. They don’t need to stay here while I wait. It’s going to be the end of the day before we know anything. “You all need to work. I’m okay here alone.”

  Hadlee squeezes my hand again. “Actually, today’s my day off, so I can stay.”

  “We’re here for you, man,” Dillon says. “Don’t worry. The company isn’t going to fall apart if we’re working remotely today.”

  Everyone agrees, and Hadlee leans over and says, “Hey, listen. We’re a team now. No matter what happens, I’m here with you. Okay?”

  Despite the oppressiveness of being in a surgery waiting room, my heart soars. I leave my cell phone number with the surgical desk, and we head downstairs to the cafeteria. Annabel joins us, talking away with anyone who will talk to her. Dillon rolls his eyes, and I’m comforted knowing I’m not the only one irritated by her. Her relationship with Mason’s going to create issues, but I’m not going to worry about that today. I have plenty of other things to occupy my mind at the moment.

  The cafeteria’s a mix of hospital staff and families. Hadlee makes some recommendations of things we may want to stay away from. “The corned beef hash may be a few days old,” she shares, “but the breakfast burritos are outstanding.”

  Almost all of us order the burrito, and each one’s the size of a brick. Filled with chorizo sausage, scrambled eggs, and potatoes and then covered in pork green chili—she’s right, it’s outstanding. It’s so large that she and Emerson split one and they still have still leftovers.

  We vacillate between joking and jovial to somber and sad. As I glance around the table, I’m grateful to have so many friends here who care about me.

  A man walks up to the table. “Hadlee, good to see you this morning.”

  She blanches. “Ken.”

  In a condescending tone, he asks, “Who are these people?”

  “Well, Ken, these are my friends. And we’re all here to support my boyfriend, Cameron.” She motions to me. “His father’s in surgery today getting a liver transplant.”

  “You didn’t mention you had a boyfriend last night at dinner.”

  “It wasn’t a date, Ken, it was a business dinner. And if you’d kept your hands to yourself, you might’ve had company for dinner.”

  I’m floored when she refers to me as her boyfriend, and then within a few seconds, I see red. I’m ready to take this guy out for touching my girl. I stand up and pull my shoulders back. “Do you have a problem, Ken?”

  “N-n-no. She may have set the dinner up to discuss a difficult patient, but she wanted a date.”

  I growl at him. “Sounds like she didn’t want a date, and you ate alone.” Waving him away, I say, “You can leave now.”

  Ken appears surprised by my directness but turns quickly and scurries off.

  As soon as he’s out of hearing distance, Hadlee says to the group, “I’m sorry. Ken was a letch who I met for dinner to discuss a difficult patient we share. His hands kept wandering, and I warned him but he didn’t stop, so I left him at the restaurant and came home. Cameron isn’t my boyfriend. I just wanted Ken to go away.”

  I’m not having any of this. “Wait a minute. I am your boyfriend. We’re working toward something. I’m absolutely your fucking boyfriend.” Staring at the group, I state firmly, “Don’t even think you can fix her up with any of your friends or people you meet. She’s off the market. Permanently.”

  I’m not sure if the look on her face is one of horror or shock, but the guys all grin at me like I finally get it.

  Greer and Emerson jump from the table and rush up to us. “We’re so happy for you.” They yank her into a group hug.

  Annabel jumps up and attempts to join the hug. “I’m so glad there’s another one of us who doesn’t work for SHN and is part of this crowd. The Sunday night dinners tend to get boring when they go behind closed doors to meet.”

  Hadlee’s all grace when she says, “Wonderful. If I’m invited on a Sunday night, we’ll have to find something to occupy ourselves. I grew up next door to the Arnaults, so I know a few things we can do to keep us busy.”

  I glance at Mason, and he turns ashen. Maybe there’s trouble in paradise after all.

  I send the team back to the offices after lunch, and Hadlee’s kind enough to head over to my condo and pick up my laptop and a change of clothes. She shows me where the doctor's lounge is so I can clean up. It’s astonishing how wonderful you feel after a warm shower.

  It’s after 5:30 p.m. when the doctor comes over to speak to me. “Mr. Newhouse?”

  We all stand. “Yes?”

  Hadlee takes me by the hand, and he stares at her with recognition but says to me, “Your dad ’s currently in a stable condition. He’ll be in recovery for a
nother forty-five minutes before we move him to the ICU for about a week. It’ll be after visiting hours by that point, so you can go home. We don’t expect your dad to wake tonight.”

  I nod, and Hadlee asks, “Rick, how are his numbers looking?”

  He glances at me to make sure I’m okay with her asking questions, and I nod. He then jumps into a highly technical conversation with Hadlee. She turns to me and says, “What all of that means is that his numbers seem good twelve hours post-op and he isn’t showing any initial signs of rejection. Over the next few days, we’re going to watch to be sure his levels stay in a certain range. The levels will move around a lot as they determine the correct dosage and combination of rejection medications for him.”

  I’m relieved to have Hadlee here with me.

  The doctor grins. “She’s awesome, isn’t she? She was top of our class. She could’ve had any residency in any program, and she chose pediatrics here in San Francisco. It’s almost a waste of her talent.”

  “Not true, Rick. You're too kind,” she says as she shakes her head and turns a beautiful shade of pink.

  “I certainly think she’s pretty awesome,” I assure him, and we agree to meet tomorrow.

  Turning to me, Hadlee says, “Let’s get you home.”

  I thank the team for staying with me. We are all tired and begin walking down to the garage. Greer asks, “Does anyone need a lift?”

  “No, thanks. See everyone at the office tomorrow?” Everyone agrees and he turns to me, “Cameron, take whatever time you need.”

  “Thanks, man.”

  Pulling out of the parking garage, I joke, “Please tell me we’re heading over to my place.”

  “Yes. When I picked up your computer, I packed an overnight bag.”

  “Well, I hope you realize we’re either going to make your house a rental property, or we can sell it and you can put that money back into your trust fund. It’s your choice, but you aren’t going back there to live.” I may be a bit slow, but I’m not letting her out of my grasp again. I’m crazy about her, and I want it to be clear to her and everyone else. Hadlee and I belong together.