by Vivian Lux
"You're worried you're going to hate it?"
"How did you know?"
"I feel the same way. I always wondered why Gid didn't - "
"Do something with it?"
"I mean he did, back in the day, but this is recent stuff. Stuff he'd been working on..."
"Until he died," I finished. "And whatever his plans were got cut short." My tongue felt too thick in my mouth.
"Yeah," she said, looking down.
I took a deep breath, needing to force the words past my own possessiveness. "Are you really okay with me hearing them?" I asked her.
She widened her eyes. I nodded and swallowed, enunciating each word so that I was sure to hear them too. "I was pissed," I said. "Yesterday. Because I was like, why would Gid give them to her and not me? But then I realized, whatever claim I felt like I had to this music was less than the claim you had. He gave it to you. And," I let out a long, slow breath. "And I wasn't around."
She lifted that pretty, heart-shaped face of hers and for a second her clear, perfect beauty made me stupid. "I'm glad I'm around now though," I finished.
"I'm okay with it," she repeated, looking a little defensive. "That's why I told you about it yesterday and - "
"I was an ass?" I supplied.
The corner of her mouth twitched. "In so many words."
"I'm sorry about that." I shook my head. "I knew I'd be sad about losing him. I didn't expect to be so pissed off too."
Ruby's lip slipped between her teeth and for a moment the only thing that mattered was watching the way her teeth dragged a white line across the red. "Grief is weird," she finally said. "Brings out the worst in people."
"And the best."
"How do you figure?"
I swallowed. "I would have never known what an incredible person you were if Gid hadn't died."
Her blush started across her chest, on that small patch of creamy skin made visible by her ribbed tank top. I watched, mesmerized, until I realized it looked like I was staring right at her breasts.
I flicked my eyes back up to meet hers and was relieved to see that she was looking away and hadn't caught me staring at how pink and lovely she looked right now. "Should we listen then?"
"Let's," I said, nodding.
I followed her and her ancient tape recorder into the small, spartan living room. Ruby plopped herself right down on the floor and opened her arms to let the wayward Ginger settle herself into a purring ball in the center of her lap. "Pull up a patch of floor," she instructed, twisting to plug the player in. "You can pick the first tape."
I looked into the box that sat in the center of her floor and hesitated. I reached for one, then put it down, then another, and another...
"Close your eyes," she said, her voice calm and gentle. "Just grab the first one you touch."
I nodded and did what she said. I didn't open them when I grabbed the tape either. I just handed it right to her. "This one."
"Okay." She popped the tape player open and slid it in.
I opened my eyes. "What does it say in it? Did he leave a note? A track listing?"
"Sssh, Jonah." She pressed play.
A hissing crackle filled the air and then the soft strum of a guitar. I leaned a little close, realizing I was holding my breath and then realizing again that my hand was on Ruby's knee.
She looked down at it, but she didn't move.
A flurry of finger picking now, the notes falling like water and reminding me a bit of Crown Creek as it leaped and burbled. It was silent and frozen right now, but this music was just like the sound of summer, the little trilling splashes that made the woods sound like they were whispering secrets to themselves.
And then Gid's voice started and Ruby's hand slipped over mine.
It was just humming at first. A couple of 'woo-woos," and then some "hey-heys," and then more humming as he found his melody. I recognized it from my own process, the way you feel around the edges of a song before you can dive in all the way.
"Don't want to lose you," Gid's voice rang out as clear as if it were in my own head. I glanced at Ruby.
"It's him," she whispered, and there were tears in her eyes.
"Don't want to lose you," Gid repeated, and there was a clanking sound like his fingers slipped. He coughed and I swallowed to hear it, the raw, aching emotion in his voice. What had made him write this song? What heartache had he felt that I wasn't around to know about? What problem had he had that I couldn't be there with him through, to hand him a drink and sit with him down by the place where the creek bends around our property line, listening to the water, helping the problems he was having falling away in the silence because all he needed was to know was his nephew was there?
A tear was slipping quietly down Ruby's cheek. She wasn't making a sound and seemed like she was holding her breath. I squeezed her hand as the music started again. "The best chance at love was the one I never took," Gid sang.
Sang right to me.
It wasn't a coincidence. It couldn't be a coincidence that I picked this tape. My heart was beating faster now. Another tear tracked down Ruby's cheek and this time I didn't hesitate. I reached out and caught it at the edge of my finger.
She looked at me now and I heard her suck in her breath.
I brushed my finger on her other cheek, catching the wetness as Gideon strummed. She closed her eyes and another tear slipped out.
I leaned forward and pressed my lips to her cheek, catching it before it fell. Her small sound made my heart beat faster. I followed that trail reverently up to her closed eyes which I kissed one after the other.
"You gave me a chance, how many chances can I get?" wondered Gideon's crackling voice on the tape player. "Before I lose my last best chance at love?"
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Ruby
It was like Gideon was talking to us, urging us on. Telling me to take the chance. I could hear the warmth in his voice, like we were having coffee over the grand piano in the music room. He'd set his mug down, careful not to leave a ring and look at me. "Why would you give up your best chance at love?" he'd say.
Just like he was saying now.
I didn't know yet if Jonah was my best chance. But I knew I wanted to take this chance.
I was startled when his lips found my cheek, but I wasn't surprised. What surprised me was how soft his lips were after yesterday's onslaught. What surprised me was the care he was taking, kissing away my tears until my cheeks were dry, then pressing his lips to my eyes like he was giving a blessing.
I opened my eyes to see him looking at me, something new and strange in his expression. "Ruby, you're incredibly beautiful," he said like this was the most obvious thing in the world.
I didn't know what to say. I started to say something but it was caught and swallowed when his lips brushed against mine.
At once we moved against each other, already anticipating the other's desires. It was like yesterday had been a rehearsal, and today was the real thing. Today we knew exactly what to do.
He cradled his hand around my neck, kissing me softly as Gid's guitar strummed. He took his time, nibbling and tasting, deepening by degrees. Waiting until I was right there with him, moaning into his mouth, arching myself against his body. I could feel his confidence, the self-assured way he bided his time until he had me panting for him and then, when I was finally trembling with a sweet, crazy need, he laid me down as the song faded out into silence.
"Good," he breathed into my neck.
"What?" I asked, running my hands up his back and feeling the way the muscles bunched with barely-held back power.
He pulled up and looked at me with the wicked gleam in his eyes making them even greener. "Wasn't sure I could fuck you with my uncle singing in the background."
I snorted. "You think we're about to have sex here?" He gave me a grin and I rolled my eyes. "Talk about romance. You're a real Prince Charming, you know that?"
"I'm not Prince Charming, baby," he growled as he slammed his lips ag
ainst mine. "I'm a King."
His kiss swallowed up the smart remark I wanted to make and his hands erased all traces of it from my brain. Before I knew it, I was arching up into him, pulling him down to me and attempting to kiss every inch of his exposed skin "You're impossible," I moaned against his throat as his hands slid down. "You make me so fucking angry I want to throw things. I keep, ah!" I gasped as his hand slipped below my waistband, "thinking I've got you - oh my god - figured out and then you do something that totally throws me off and why? Why Jonah? This is crazy. What are we doing?"
"Right now I'm trying to get your pants off," he growled.
I smacked him in the shoulder, but then lifted my hips from the ground, letting him peel my morning yoga pants down off of me. He let out a hiss when he saw I'd gone bare underneath, but he didn't attempt to touch me. Instead he slid back over me and supported himself with his elbows as he gazed down into my eyes.
"I know," he said, looking me full in the face. "You've got me totally twisted up, it's the truth. I'm hot and cold because my life is pretty screwed up right now, Ruby, but I can tell you that the best thing that's happened since I came home, hell maybe the best thing that's happened in a much longer time that that, was realizing who you were." He brushed his lips across my jaw. "You make me feel like I can start over again, be a better person this time." His kiss found my lips. "You make me feel brand new."
A flush of warmth spread through my body, like I was melting from the inside out. I kissed him back, hard, not really understanding what he was saying but feeling the truth of his words right down to my toes. He was caught between two roads right now, but with a rush of power even more heady than his kisses, I realized that I could nudge him onto the one that made him a better person.
I caught his lip between my teeth, hearing him hiss, but holding him there as I looked him in the eyes. He held perfectly still, but I could feel him lengthening under his jeans, the warm hardness pressing against my thigh, and the feeling of having this man, this rockstar who'd been the fantasy of every girl my age, belong to me had my head spinning like I'd been drugged. "I changed my mind," I told him as I released his lip.
"About what?"
"About whether we're having sex." I licked my lips.
He groaned against my neck. "Is that a yes? Tell me it's a yes, Ruby. I've wanted you - ." He trailed off, groaning as my hand closed over his jeans, cupping the shape of him, and then widened his eyes. "Is that my answer?"
"This is crazy, but we have to take a chance, right?" I asked, gesturing to the tape recorder. Then I grinned. "Yes."
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Jonah
She called it 'taking a chance' but I had never been more sure of anything in my life.
She trembled just a little as I helped her lift her ribbed tank top over her head. She was bare underneath, reminding me once again that wasn't something we'd planned out. "You're right," I breathed, bending down to curl my tongue around her pretty little nipple. "This is crazy." I felt out of my head, outside of my body. I felt like I was floating away and the only thing that could keep me on the ground was clinging close to her.
So I did. I clung to her, digging my fingertips into the soft flesh of her ass cheek and lifting her hips. I held her tight as I bent my mouth to that sweet soft mound and listened to her sighs. I made sure her legs were around my shoulders, clenched tight around me as I darted my tongue out to taste her sweetness, and I reached out and held on to her hands when her hips started to buck.
She was so perfect this way, spread out before me like a buffet. I wanted to taste and nibble for hours, but I was also becoming quickly addicted to the sound of her moans and the way she whispered my name over and over as she squeezed her thighs tightly around my ears. The more I licked and sucked and swirled my tongue, the more she moaned and the more she moaned the harder I got, and when her orgasm took her and she jerked upward in a spasm, grinding herself against my face, I nearly came myself.
"Ah!" she cried and then her chest hitched and her eyes flew wide open like she was startled. I could coming against my tongue, my mouth filling with her sweetness and then suddenly she was laughing, rolling her head from side to side with her hands clapped over her face.
I leaned over her and grabbed them away so she had to look at me. "Ruby? What's funny?"
She looked up at me, smiling so bright I was almost blinded. "Remember in the coffee shop? When I said you should take up knitting because you probably have skilled fingers?"
"I remember very well," I said leaning down and kissing her so she could taste herself on my lips. "I kissed you for it."
Her dark eyes were almost black with mischief. "You could also knit with your tongue," she said.
"Damn, you know how to make a man feel good."
"I know a few other ways too," she said, reaching for my jeans.
I knelt up, letting her unzip me, loving how she was so eager she couldn't get my zipper undone fast enough. When she got me free and her eyes widened, I chuckled. "Is that the other way you know to make a man feel good? Being impressed with my size?"
"No," she grinned up at me cheekily. "This is the other way."
I shifted, widening my stance, moving my feet to brace myself as she lowered her perfect little lips to my cock. Then there was a stabbing pain in my foot. "Ow!" I shouted.
She jumped back. "Oh no! Did I hurt you?"
"No," I groaned. "She did." I wiggled my toes and Ginger made another wild leap at them. "Your kitten is trying to kill my foot."
"Ginger!" Ruby shrieked, covering her breasts adorably. "Stop it!"
The little hellspawn puffed up and danced sideways. She sidestepped over to nip at Ruby's bare kneecap and then tore away like her fur was on fire.
I burst out laughing.
Ruby did too, burying her face in her hands." Oh my god, I am so sorry," she groaned. "She's insane."
I pulled my jeans back up, shaking my head, then leaning down to kiss Ruby. "I'm glad for her. Getting herself wedged into the ceiling? I sort of think she played matchmaker."
Ruby grinned. "Maybe. I'll give her an extra treat before bed."
I let my eyes rake over her body. She sat, naked and uninhibited, in a patch of sunlight, her bright lips even redder from my kisses. "I'd like to do the same for you," I told her, reaching over to her and scooping her into my arms.
"What are you doing?" she squealed, clinging to my neck.
"Which way is your bedroom?" I asked, already mounting the stairs two at a time. "We need to go someplace where we can shut the door."
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Jonah
I woke up with a tiny paw in my eye.
"Good morning, Ginger," I whispered.
The small orange kitten puffed up for a second and I wondered if she was holding a grudge after I'd locked her out of the bedroom yesterday morning. And afternoon. Ruby had convinced me to open the door late last night, before we'd both fallen into bed, exhausted in a tangle of limbs.
Now I wished I'd stood my ground.
Ginger batted at my nose, then tried to attack my eyeballs. I winced as the tiny, needle sharp claw sank into my eyelid, but I managed to stay still and quiet because Ruby was still asleep.
She slept with no trace of self-consciousness. Her arm was flung up over her head like she was surrendering, and her jaw was slack. The blanket was tugged down, revealing one perfect mound, her pretty nipple peeking at me like it had a secret.
I felt my cock stiffening in a way that had nothing to do with morning wood.
"Avert your eyes, Ginger," I murmured as I leaned over to kiss my girl awake.
Her eyes fluttered open, and then widened. "Hey," she smiled sleepily, then looked alarmed and yanked the sheet up over her mouth.
I chuckled and snatched it away - and of course Ginger attacked it as it moved - and leaned in to kiss her again. "Don't care," I told her. "And good morning."
"I didn't think you'd stay," she said with a pleased little
humming sigh.
"You kidding? I'm moving into your bed permanently."
She smiled and stretched again. "While that sounds like an excellent idea, you're going to be extremely bored if you do that."
I reached out to tweak her nipple. "Not possible."
"I have to do my lesson plans, I didn't get any work done yesterday," she said pointedly.
I licked my lips, a little disappointed. I had thought today we might go over to my family's house, maybe let everyone know how things had changed. Then maybe we could play the tapes again and Ruby could tell me which songs were her favorite. A germ of an idea was starting to form in my brain, the first idea about music I'd had in a long time. I hadn't worked out all the details yet, but I could feel the excitement starting to mount and I wanted her there to cheer me along.
But she rolled out of bed and picked a white terrycloth robe off of a hook on her closet door. "Oof," she said, wincing a little as she stood slightly bowlegged. "That last round was..."
"Sorry baby," I said, but I couldn't hide my grin of triumph quick enough and she threw a slipper at me.
"Let me make you breakfast at least, "I told her. "You can't work on an empty stomach." I pressed my lips together. "Okay I'm lying I can't cook for shit, but I can make a mean cup of coffee."
"We didn't eat much yesterday," she said, looking shy all of a sudden. "Or sleep."
I leaped up from the bed, inadvertently sending Ginger flying, and went to her side. "Can I see you later?" I asked, feeling hesitant for some reason. Ruby made me feel brand new, it was true, and part of that was I seemed to have forgotten how this whole thing worked.
She kissed me and then smiled. "You'd fucking better," she growled and I laughed at the contrast between her dirty words and her sweet face.
I made her the promised cup of coffee, chiding her for the state of her coffee maker and promising to bring over a French press as soon as she'd let me. She gave me a bowl of cold cereal, then laughed when I'd drunk the milk from the bowl. I kissed her goodbye with my milk mustache, and headed out into Crown Creek.