She reached up and cupped his cheek. The spark in her eyes dimmed. “She must be willing to come. I do not know if she will. The horror of what she has endured may be too great.”
He nodded his understanding even though his chest felt as if it were ripping in two. Under normal circumstances he might have asked his teacher how she had known they were coming or what horrors Tessa had gone through. Though it was unlikely the answer he’d receive would give any enlightenment. Adianca had her own way of looking at the world. How she knew things…well, she was a shaman.
She pointed at Kane. “Little Lakeland, drive. You, keep watch.” The second order was for Will.
“Come.” She turned and got in the back of the Hummer. Joshua followed and kept Tessa cradled on his lap.
Will got in the passenger side and turned toward Kane. “Little Lakeland?”
“Shut up, Will.” Kane started the engine and headed toward the cabin where Adianca made her home.
The desert road stretched out for miles. This had been the land of his restoration. He’d survived to become the man he was because of Adianca and this place. Every time he’d returned to the desert it had brought him peace. In the past he’d come for revival and sometimes just for rest. His mind needed the quiet of the desert and the comfort of the shaman’s steady mind.
With Tessa’s lax body lying in his lap he found no peace in arriving at the one place in the world that usually brought him solace. His own aches and pains probably needed tending to but those were the consequences of his mistake. He deserved much more of a punishment for failing her.
The main community lived in small houses over a mile from Adianca’s small log cabin. She was their healer and spiritual guide. Joshua had always gotten the impression, even amongst her people, she was both revered and feared in equal parts. Everyone was more comfortable with her a safe distance away yet close enough to run to when a need arose.
As they pulled up to the simple house two men met the truck. Adianca said, “You can start the fire.”
One of the men said, “My wife brought soup and bread.”
“Thank you, Jon.”
The man she’d called Jon stepped around to open the car door. He spoke to Joshua, “I can take her for you.”
Joshua’s stomach tightened and he pulled Tessa closer to his chest, unable to bear someone else carrying her. “I have her.”
He might has well have said, She’s mine. The intensity of his words was obvious and Jon gave him a nod and backed away.
Adianca started toward the house. “Come, Lakeland. You need rest and your woman needs food and water. We will take care of this before we go on a quest.”
She was on the top of the steps before Joshua found his voice. “Teacher, I need to bring her back. We have little time.”
Her craggy face frowned down at him. “And yet it is time we will need. Some things cannot be rushed as you well know. Or have I taught you nothing?”
There was nothing for Joshua to say. He clutched Tessa close to him and walked up the steps into the house.
Inside, two women were rushing around preparing food. The kitchen took up one corner of the wooden lodge-style house. There was no dining room, only a long farm table placed near the kitchen. The other side of the room had comfortably worn furniture and a few tables with lamps.
The high ceiling gave the room a larger feeling. Doors to the right led to bedrooms and a bathroom. Joshua had been there before and nothing had changed. All the walls were wood and the furniture was all shades of brown. Red-and-teal Native-American-made blankets and pillows added the only color to the decor.
Adianca spoke to Will. “Food will come to you, friend of Lakeland. For now keep watch with Jon and Gowan.”
Will nodded and did as he was told.
Joshua settled on the couch. He could feel the warmth of Tessa’s body slipping away. He was losing her.
“Come and eat something,” Adianca ordered. He had never said no to his shaman but he was tempted. He didn’t want to leave Tessa.
The medicine woman gave him a sad smile. “She will be fine and you need to eat so your strength does not fail you, Lakeland. Come.”
Reluctantly he slid out from under Tessa’s limp form and carefully arranged her on the couch. His chest ached at seeing her so lifeless. He missed the vibration of her aura. For the first time in his life Joshua knew real fear and it was near to crippling. Never before had another person been so instrumental to his own survival.
The women placed bowls of stew on the table and Joshua made his way over. He sat and ate as if he were a starving man with his first meal. Halfway through his bowl he saw movement by the couch and turned to see the two women who had served the stew sitting down by Tessa with a bowl.
“I will feed her,” he said. His voice was much louder than was necessary.
The women were startled.
“You must eat,” Adianca said.
Joshua shoveled the remaining food in his mouth, got up from the table and still chewing moved toward the couch. He sat down near Tessa’s head, lifted her body and adjusted it so her back rested on his chest.
The women watched with wide eyes. Once he had settled Tessa into a sitting position, one of the women pulled a small table over and the other placed the bowl with clear broth on it.
Joshua could reach the spoon but the soup dripped as he lifted it toward Tessa. One of the women sat on the couch by Tessa’s hip and held the bowl up inches from her closed mouth.
Her eyes were full of sympathy.
Joshua placed his lips near Tessa’s ear. “Tessa, open your mouth. You have to eat something.”
There was no response.
No one in the room said a word. He could feel them all looking at him, thinking he was a sad, pathetic man who’d lost his woman. He refused to believe she was gone. Her heart still beat and so some part of her mind still worked, it was her essence that had retreated.
With his arm wrapped just under her breasts he pulled her in tighter. “You have to eat, beautiful. For me, open your mouth.”
On a breath of air her lips parted. Not much but it would be enough to get the tip of a spoon through.
He took the spoon again and dipped it in the bowl before slowly moving it to Tessa’s lips. Part of it dripped down her chin. The woman wiped it up with a napkin. Joshua had expected her to choke back the rest of the soup but to his surprise Tessa swallowed. They repeated the process until half the soup was gone from the bowl, and Tessa’s lips sealed tight.
“You’re wonderful, Tessa. Thank you.” The words were barely audible. It was only for her to hear.
He looked up at the woman with the bowl. She was Native American. Her dark eyes held kindness and sorrow. She had cut her hair to her shoulders and it was streaked with a few strands of gray. She put the bowl aside and pulled a blanket from the back of the couch. Carefully she covered Tessa, tucking the warm wool around her.
Realizing he’d not even asked her name, he was at a loss for what to say. She had been kind and he had been preoccupied. His entire focus had been on Tessa and he’d ignored the women who had come to their aid.
Even though he’d been to Adianca’s home many times he’d never met the people from the reservation. His focus in the past had been a selfish quest for peace and other minds were a distraction from that goal.
Now that he was paying attention he detected psi energy coming from the woman. It wasn’t terribly strong but it was there and as he scanned he notice a surge of energy from the other woman. She didn’t stop him aggressively but in a subtle way she pushed his exploration back.
He attempted to smile in apology for his gentle probe. She nodded.
The woman who had helped with feeding Tessa said, “I am Lucy, Jon’s wife and that is Rain Silver.”
Lucy pointed to the woman with the strong aura. Rain was younger, perhaps twenty-five, with long black hair and searching eyes. Under normal circumstances Joshua would have made some attempt to find out exactly what her
psi talents were but it was not a normal day.
“Thank you both.”
With a nod Lucy got up and went to the kitchen. Rain moved the table back into its place next to the couch.
Adianca made her way to the front door. “You rest for a few hours and then we will begin. The lodge must be heated.”
The two women cleaned the table and worked in the kitchen.
Kane approached the couch. “I’m going to keep watch with Will. You should lie down and close your eyes, Josh. It’s going to be a long few days.”
He looked up at his little brother. “I can’t lose her, Kane.”
Kane stuck his hands in his pockets. He looked uncomfortable. Maybe he was thinking about his wife Lena and how he’d nearly lost her. “I know.”
“I don’t know what to do.” Joshua hated the fear in his voice.
“You brought her here. You did the right thing. She would die in a hospital. They wouldn’t know how to treat her. Adianca will get you to her. She’ll need you to bring her back. Just rest for now.”
His brother turned and walked toward the door.
“Kane.”
He turned back.
“I’m glad you’re here.” Joshua’s throat was tight with emotion. He and his brother had spent most of their lives apart. When Joshua had first found Kane, Kane had not remembered having a brother though those memories had returned in time. Still, they had formed a bond only brothers could understand and he would rather go through hell with Kane than with anyone else on the Earth. And that was exactly where he was and he would go deeper before this was over.
“Me too, Josh.” Kane went to the door and left Joshua holding Tessa on the couch.
Water ran in the kitchen and the tinkling of dishes being washed floated through the room. Joshua closed his eyes and let exhaustion win him over.
He knew it the moment he’d slid into her dreams. Terrifying colors and darkness spun wildly, making navigation difficult. “Tessa?”
There was no reply. He moved forward as if he were a breeze trapped in a hurricane. Everything was confusion and panic. None of it resembled the beautiful mind he’d explored and relished. His sorrow pressed down on him, making movement impossible.
“Tessa, where are you?”
There was a whimper. It sounded as if a child had been beaten. Joshua moved himself forward toward the noise.
A child with blonde hair and blue eyes huddled in the midst of the storm. She covered her face with her hands and wept.
He knelt down beside her. “Tessa, it’s all right, I’m here.”
There was no response.
“Can you hear me? I’m going to get you out. I’m going to get you back.”
The child’s crying increased. Joshua reached out and put his hand on her shoulder. She only cried more. The sound broke his heart. Pain both physical and emotional tormented the child living within Tessa. He couldn’t take any more. She couldn’t see him, didn’t feel him and wouldn’t hear him.
Joshua shook himself awake. It took him a moment to orient himself. He was in Adianca’s great room. Tessa, still unconscious, rested in his arms. He didn’t know when Lucy and Rain had left the house or how long he’d slept. The sun still streamed through the windows.
He felt the shaman’s silent approach before she spoke. “It is time, Lakeland.”
Adianca wore a white ceremonial gown. It was beaded in orange, black and teal all the way down the front. She didn’t wear a headdress but her hair had been brushed out and left loose.
His muscles ached as he tried to move. The fall from the helicopter had taken its toll. Pain stung his legs and back when he maneuvered off the couch. Ignoring the discomfort and giving his legs a chance to remember how to hold his weight, he stooped to lift Tessa from the couch. Her head lolled unnaturally until it settled against his chest. He kissed her crown and walked toward the door.
He turned to the right and approached the sweat lodge. Set into a dug-out depression of earth, the domed mud-and-grass roof had one chimney to keep the smoke from strangling the devout. The only light would come from the heated rocks and the door. Once the sun set it would be nearly pitch-black in there.
Joshua hesitated for a moment at the entrance. What he had seen in Tessa’s dreams had not been encouraging. She couldn’t see him or at least the child had not. Was the child all that was left of his perfect mate?
The thought terrified him. No, he would find her.
Adianca walked around him and entered the lodge.
Kane stayed behind him. He had taken off his shirt and shoes. Joshua needed to do the same.
Without a word his brother took Tessa from his arms. He didn’t move, only waited while Joshua stripped down to his shorts.
Once Kane passed Tessa back to Joshua he entered the lodge. Turning back in the low doorway, he gave Joshua an encouraging smile.
Joshua looked behind him to where Jon, Gowan and Will all stood near the fire, observing him. They would keep a watch out for Banta and replace the rocks heating the lodge. A vision quest could take hours to complete. The people on the outside would deliver water when needed to keep those inside the sweat lodge alive.
Will held his rifle across his chest. It had the sight attached for long-range shooting. He dipped his head toward the left side of the lodge. Joshua looked and saw several automatic weapons had been left near the sweat lodge’s door.
Joshua turned and entered with Tessa.
Chapter Ten
The circular structure left no corners where spirits could hide. The thick walls and roof kept the heat in. A round depression in the center of the lodge held the superheated stones and a cauldron of water to keep some moisture in the room.
Joshua had made many vision quests in the sweat lodge. In the past he had always entered searching for some answer to his troubled soul. He sought peace and answers in his youth. As he’d grown older he’d mostly come to calm his mind and get away from the noise of the world. His gifts made it difficult to think. He always had so many other people in his head. The barrage could be deafening.
This time was different. The stakes were so much higher. If he failed he would lose Tessa. He’d only just found her and now he might never hear her laugh again. Adianca had called her his woman and it was true. Tessa was his woman and he had failed her in every way. He’d been too afraid to tell her how he felt, it had been his fault danger came to her and then he’d failed to protect her from Banta.
The heat filled his lungs, making his chest ache. Blankets made up a makeshift bed on the far side of the lodge. Joshua walked around and placed Tessa carefully on the blankets. He took each hand and kissed the palms before leaning down. His lips touched her ear. “I will find you. Wait for me.”
Stepping away, he sat next to Kane, facing the center of the lodge. Adianca sat cross-legged, facing the brothers with the fire pit between them. She began a low chant. Kane took up the same ancient words. Joshua steadied his breath and ignored the sweat dripping down his spine in rivulets.
The two people he trusted most in the world, besides Tessa, raised their voices to help him enter the spirit world. The deepness of Kane’s voice and the slightly higher tones of Adianca merged until the sound became one.
Joshua closed his eyes and allowed the sound to roll over him. The heat muddled his mind and slowed his breathing. He lost himself to the warm cocoon of the sweat lodge.
The ground slid out from under him and Joshua floated in total darkness. His past echoed around him. The spirit world knew nothing of time. Five-year-old Kane screamed in protest while government agents dragged Joshua away from the orphanage. Kane’s little, tear-streaked face pressed up against the window, his mouth open in an eternal “no” that had haunted Joshua’s dreams from that day until well into his adulthood.
Then he was older and working in the field. Joshua had been an agent for years. Will was set up for a shot. Joshua’s job was to detect anything that might keep them from making the kill. The dignitary who’d escap
ed FBI custody was in their sights. Then Joshua felt it. Another psi vibration so familiar it could not be ignored. He’d known before Kane stepped out in the clearing his brother was near.
He’d almost forgotten he’d had a brother. It had been so many years and they had been so young when separated. Yet he knew who the dark-haired man with the gun was. He never doubted.
Kane’s head turned toward the building and window across the street where Joshua and Will were set up. He sensed it too. Kane grabbed his mark and stood between him and the window.
“I can shoot right through this guy,” Will said.
“No.” Joshua pushed the barrel of the rifle down and away from his brother.
“Focus on your task.” Adianca’s voice floated through the spirit world.
More visions of his past sped by. Joshua brushed them aside. The effects of a world without matter could be addling. A man could forget why he’d entered and be swept away with the torrent of information floating by and pressing in. It was a test of strength not to succumb to the distractions. Some images of the past or the future were more determined than others. Some would batter a person until they were seen.
None of that would help Tessa. He needed to find her in the shadows and bring her back to the world where they could live. The spirit world was not for the living.
It was difficult to search through the swirling blacks and grays of the spirit world. Some places were thick as a swamp and others impassable. Banta’s dark skin and flashing eyes erupted before him. A slow grin spread across his face, baring bright white teeth that appeared more like fangs.
Had Banta found them? Was it a production of Joshua’s imagination? Was it the effect of Tessa’s fears? Could Joshua be getting close to finding her? There was no way for him to know. He had to locate Tessa’s aura and get them out of there. How could he defend her life if he was not in the solid world?
He delved further, searched, called out. He was going in circles. Where was she?
Desperation and despair folded over him and the sting of failure with them. Without her spirit Tessa’s body would die. Without Tessa there was little reason for Joshua to go on.
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