“Well, I’m pretty sure there are enough shades for every wall if that’s what you want.”
“My mom would most likely kill me if I did that. One shade for everything, she’d be fine with that. A different shade for every wall, not so much.”
“Well, let’s keep Mama happy,” Mitch said.
They spent some time making a list of the various areas, Mitch scribbling things down in the notebook he’d brought with him. Belle watched his hand grip the pen as it made broad strokes across the paper. She found herself admiring his organization, grateful that she could trust him with the details of the renovations without having to hound him.
“I think that covers most the areas,” Mitch said as he ripped the paper from the notebook. He handed it over to her then asked, “Have you been to the building lately?”
“Not this week. Dealing with the car stuff kind of kept me close to the office. How’s it looking?”
“I think it’s looking good. We’re still on schedule, which is part of the reason I wanted to meet with you about the paint. We’re getting closer to needing it, so I want to have that figured out. You should come by some time this week. See it for yourself.”
“Maybe on Monday. I’m taking the day off for a change.”
“For a change?”
“Given I usually work Saturdays, I sometimes take Mondays off. I don’t have any appointments lined up for this Monday, so I’m going to take the day off. Run some errands. Do some laundry. All that good stuff.”
“I’m usually at the site in the morning, but you’re welcome to stop by any time. Mark will be there all day, and he could show you around.”
Belle preferred Mitch as her tour guide, but she didn’t want to actually come out and say that in case it made things a bit awkward. “I’ll see how the day pans out.”
They both declined the offer of dessert when the waitress came back around, and once again, they paid for their meals separately. Mitch didn’t even appear to want to argue with her about that. Which was just as well.
“So maybe I’ll see you Monday,” Mitch said as they stood outside the restaurant. “Thanks for meeting up with me about this painting stuff.”
“You’re welcome. Just glad you’re willing to work around my hours since they can be a bit wonky.”
“It’s fine. Have a good weekend,” Mitch said, then waited for her to get into her car before walking to where he’d parked his truck.
As Belle drove home, she found herself wishing that she’d met someone like Mitch before she’d met Andre. Maybe things would have unfolded differently for her. Maybe she would be the sort of person that would have planned a wedding for herself. That would have been waiting for a man to love.
Instead, she wasn’t sure she could ever find a way to be as vulnerable as was needed to be in a relationship. In a marriage. She couldn’t be that vulnerable ever again. Even for a guy as nice as Mitch. And that was assuming that he would want to be with someone like her in the first place. She’d thought maybe he was interested in her, which was why she’d insisted on things not being a date, but ever since then, his interactions with her had been friendly, if not a little professional.
Which is exactly how she wanted things.
Right?
Mitch parked in the church’s parking lot, still a bit uncertain about why he’d chosen to come. He hadn’t been to the singles’ Bible study in several months, choosing instead to focus on his work with the teen boys. He also preferred to go to the men’s Bible study that Bennett and Ethan led each week. Attending the singles’ study had been a bit of a distraction for him, so he’d chosen to focus on the other groups.
But with his affections so centered on Belle, a woman unavailable to him, Mitch knew his only chance at moving on was to be around other Christian women. Not necessarily to start dating someone right away, but to remind himself that if he wanted to meet the type of woman he hoped to marry, being a part of a Bible study where single women were present was a good place to start.
With a sigh, Mitch pushed the truck door open and got out. He was surprised that there was more than just a handful of cars in the parking lot. The church didn’t have a Sunday evening service except for once a month. The other Sundays, they encouraged small groups to get together. Most of those were held in homes, but the singles met at the church.
“Callaghan!” a male voice called out as he walked into the fireside room where the singles’ group met.
Mitch smiled at the guy coming toward him. A lanky man with a shock of auburn hair that kind of looked like he’d just rolled out of bed or that he’d just spent the last few hours running his hands repeatedly through it.
“Hey, Leon,” Mitch said as he held out his hand. “Nice to see you.”
“It’s been awhile. Uh…” Redness started to creep up his neck.
Deciding to give the guy a break, Mitch said, “I’m Mitch. And just for future reference, Gabe walks with a bit of a limp now and usually has a pretty Asian woman in his vicinity.”
“Yeah. Yeah.” The man’s head bobbed up and down. “I kinda thought it was you but didn’t want to make a mistake.”
Mitch clapped him briefly on the shoulder. “You wouldn’t have been the first, and you won’t be the last.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Leon said with a lopsided grin.
When Leon headed off to greet someone else who had just come through the door, Mitch wandered over to the table where a couple of carafes of coffee sat along with hot water for those that preferred tea, and some juice. He poured himself a cup of coffee then turned to face the room.
“Well, look who the cat dragged in.”
Mitch glanced over to see a familiar face at his elbow. “Hey there, Denise.”
The woman smiled up at him, affection in her gaze. “I didn’t expect to see you here tonight. What brings you by?”
He sighed. “I’m not altogether sure, but it’s nice to see you.”
“You, too.” She slipped her hand through his elbow. “Let’s go sit.”
Mitch let her guide him to a couple of armchairs. After they’d settled in and taken a couple sips of their coffee, Mitch sighed. “Just dealing with some stuff. Thought I might come and see some friendly faces.”
Denise stared at him, her gaze intent. Her bright blue gaze had always been direct. Sometimes piercing. Sometimes intense. Sometimes laughing. It had been one of the things that had drawn Mitch to her at first. They’d dated for about three months before they’d both decided they were better off as friends.
She had just been the latest in—while not a long line—a line still the same, of women who found him a better friend than a boyfriend. The others hadn’t bothered to keep up the friendship, but Denise had. In fact, she’d gone with him to the double wedding that Bennet and Grace had had with Sammi and Levi back in February. They’d been after him about bringing a date, so he’d finally just shown up with an ex-girlfriend. That had shut them up. Briefly.
“Sure you don’t want to talk about it?” Denise asked. “You know I’m a good listener.”
“Yeah. That you are.”
“Well, if you’re not here to talk to me, I’m going to take your appearance as a sign.”
Mitch frowned. “A sign of what, exactly?”
“A sign that I should call in the favor you owe me.” She gave him a mischievous look. “And demand that you accompany me to a wedding.”
“Seriously?” Mitch dropped his head against the back of the armchair.
“Well, of course, seriously. I went with you to your family’s wedding, after all. I figure it’s about time for you to repay the favor.”
“What happened with that guy you were hoping would ask you out? Can’t he go with you?”
“Nah. I kind of made my interest known—subtly—but he’s either clueless or not interested. Either way, I think I’d rather have you come with me.” She grinned at him. “I think I’d enjoy being there with someone I don’t need to worry about having to impress
.”
“Nice.” Mitch rolled his eyes at her. “How do you know I’m not dating someone?”
“I doubt you’d be here if that were the case. This is a singles’ group, remember.”
“You’re still single until you’re married. Dating doesn’t mean I’m not single anymore.”
“Well, that’s true.” Denise leaned back in her chair, crossing her legs. “So, are you? Dating someone?”
“No. Can’t say that I am.” Mitch sighed, his gaze following people as they began to settle into chairs around the room in preparation for the study.
Denise reached over to pat his arm. “It’ll happen one of these days. For both of us.”
“Would have been so much easier if we could have just found what we were looking for in each other,” Mitch murmured.
“Yep,” Denise agreed with a sigh. “Much easier.”
As the room fell quiet, Mitch turned his focus to the man who stood to open their meeting with prayer. Usually, he participated in the studies he attended, but that night, Mitch just listened, taking in the thoughts and observations of the others present. They were working through a six-part study, and it appeared they were on week three where they were discussing how to embrace single life and face its challenges while waiting for marriage.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
It quickly became apparent to Mitch that some of the people there struggled with the concept of happy singleness more than others. And, strangely enough, it had nothing to do with age. There were a couple young people at the study who seemed as at peace with being single as some of the older ones were.
As Mitch listened to the discussion, he realized there was still a lot he had to learn from them. He’d tried to tell himself that he was content being single. That he was fine waiting. Sure, he had moments of impatience, but he’d felt that overall, he was okay with waiting for God’s time for marriage and a family.
However, he wasn’t so sure now. In addition to the impatience, there was a slow burn of anger inside him. Anger that even though he was the one out of all his siblings who’d wanted marriage and family the most, it seemed he was destined to be the last to find love. Anger that when he finally did find a woman that he’d connected with more than any other, she’d rather have him just as a friend.
He tried to live a responsible life, one centered around his faith. He worked hard at his job and treated his employees fairly, never expecting more from them than he was willing to give himself. He treated everyone with respect, cherishing friends and family.
Still. It was never enough.
Mitch hunched his shoulders, his hands holding his mug between his knees. He knew that he didn’t need a relationship to validate who he was. He didn’t need a woman to love him in order to prove that he was a good man. A good person. But how did he get that knowledge from his head to his heart?
This struggle wasn’t something he’d voiced to anyone. Oh, his family knew that he wanted a family of his own, but they didn’t know how much he was struggling with the waiting. The not knowing if his day would ever come. Just because it was something his heart longed for didn’t mean it was going to happen.
He was well aware that sometimes what God wanted for a person’s life might be quite different from what that person might want. Was that the case for him? Was his desire for a family different from what God had planned for him? And just how was he supposed to know if that was the case? Would it finally sink in on his deathbed when he was still alone?
Verses about contentment flipped through Mitch’s mind, even as the man leading the study also quoted one. He sighed, wishing he could douse the anger that burned inside him. There was no place for it in his heart. In his life.
After the leader had closed the meeting, Mitch got to his feet. Others lingered in their seats chatting, but Denise got up to join him.
As they put their cups on the tray to be washed, Denise asked, “Do you want to go out for coffee? Chat?”
Mitch glanced over at her, then gave a quick shake of his head. “Not tonight. I’ve got a busy week ahead. A couple of really big projects on the go.”
Denise slipped her arm around his waist and gave him a quick hug. “Take care of yourself. Give me a call if you need to talk.” She paused and gave him a grin. “And I’ll text you the info on the wedding.”
“Right. You do that.” Mitch returned her hug, then took a few minutes to chat with a couple other people before heading out.
The sky was still streaked with sunset colors, and the air held just enough warmth to make it comfortable. It would have been a wonderful night out at the family’s cabin at Hecla. Maybe he’d head out there in a weekend or two. In a little over a month, they’d be having their big family and friends weekend out at the cabin. It was an event that was growing larger every year.
The family was growing. Their circle of friends continued to grow. And this time the family would be gathering without the strife that had been present in previous years. Kenton and Bennett had finally dealt with whatever had driven a wedge between them. It would be a great time for the family, especially with their mom doing so much better now.
As he drove to his apartment, Mitch wondered if Maya would take it upon herself to invite her new friends. She already fit so well into the family, opening her arms and heart to anyone. No one would tell her that she couldn’t invite them if she wanted to. The more, the merrier. That had always been his parents’ motto.
All he knew was that he couldn’t be the one to invite Belle and her family, and for the sake of his heart, he kind of hoped that Maya didn’t either. Having Belle come that far into his life would make it even harder to overcome his feelings for her.
For a moment, he considered trying to push things with Bella. To take her on romantic dates. To give her cards filled with loving words. To woo her with flowers. Unfortunately, he had a feeling that would just result in her avoiding him altogether. If there was even a remote chance of a future together, it would be because she wanted it. Because she saw the type of man he truly was and trusted him with her heart.
Pushing her to recognize those things about him would do no good, and even as that thought came to him, Mitch realized that he was at a crossroads. Did he continue to spend time with her knowing full well that it might not lead anywhere, or did he keep himself distant, dealing with her only in a professional capacity? That would mean no more dinners out with her, even if they were proposed under the guise of friendship and business. No more hanging around the reno on the off-chance she might show up.
It wasn’t until he was lying in his bed later that Mitch came to his decision about what to do with his interactions with Belle. He wasn’t going to avoid her—which not going to the reno site at all the next day would have been—but he also wasn’t going to seek her out. And if he could possibly get away with it, there would be no more dinners for two. Lunch, possibly, or better yet, he could meet her at her office, or she could come to his. It was the only choice that his heart seemed willing to accept. A middle ground, of sorts, that would keep his heart from getting any more wrapped up in Belle than it already was, but it also gave her the chance to see him for the type of man he was.
Gabe would tell him to be more aggressive—to not just sit back and wait for things to happen—but that was Gabe’s M.O., not Mitch’s. All their life, Gabe had always rushed headlong into things, eager to embrace each and every adventure that had come his way. Sometimes Mitch would follow him, always about ten steps behind, waiting to see if Gabe proved that it was safe. But more often than not, Mitch had let Gabe run on ahead. He had just waited for him to return and then listened to all the stories Gabe had to share from his great adventures.
Mitch sometimes felt jealous that he couldn’t live his life with the same abandon as Gabe did. It made him feel weak, like he was less of a man because he was unable to set aside the caution that prevented him from being more like Gabe. More like his twin.
So while Gabe might have charged forward with some pla
n of how to romance Belle until she just had no chance of saying anything but yes, that wasn’t Mitch, and it never would be. If he’d thought doing it Gabe’s way would work, he might have considered at least trying, but he didn’t believe that this was the time to step out of his comfort zone…out of respect for Belle.
If that made him weak, then so be it.
Belle shoved a load of laundry into the dryer, then gathered up her things and left the apartment. She’d told herself that she shouldn’t rush to get to the reno site. After all, she had all day to get there. Still, it was just after ten, and she was already backing her car out from her assigned parking spot and heading downtown. She would run her errands once she was done at the building. It just made sense.
Sort of.
Given that the rush hour was over, it didn’t take too long to get to the renovation site. She spotted a C&M truck parked on the street in front of the building, and she pulled in behind it. At least it appeared that Mitch was still there.
After grabbing her hard hat from the trunk, Belle headed inside. The sounds of the men working seemed to be louder and more varied than usual. Electric saws. Hammering. The thud of an air nail gun. Voices calling out over the din.
Though she usually loved silence, Belle found that in this instance the noises were welcome. They were the sounds of a future she was becoming more and more excited about. As she looked around, she saw in her mind the areas Mitch had identified on Saturday. She found that she could picture certain colors in each area in a way she hadn’t been able to before.
She pulled her phone out and without venturing any further into the building, began to make notes. She didn’t want to wait until she got home for fear that she’d lose the thoughts that were in her mind. Early on, she’d learned to capture ideas as they came to her because if she didn’t, they were likely to slip away in the mess of thoughts that seemed to be ever-present in her head.
“Good morning, Belle.”
Belle glanced up and smiled at Mitch as he came close, then looked back down at her phone, tapping rapidly to capture the final thought. When she straightened, she gave him another smile. “Good morning. Sorry. I just had some paint color ideas come to me and didn’t want to let them go.”
A Touch of Romance Page 17