by Marie James
We hold each other, surrounded by silence and our own thoughts before she speaks again.
“You’re afraid he’s going to freak out?”
“He freaked out last night. I saw it all in his eyes. The fear of someone finding out, the disgust at what he’d let me do, the repulsion that I’m the type of man who enjoyed sucking his cock and swallowing his come.” I tremble at picturing it all again.
“What are you going to do?”
I shrug, jostling her head on my shoulder. “I’ve got to run an errand for Kid this morning, and when I get back, I’m going to pretend it never happened. Then I’ll pray that he will let it go and I won’t lose my best friend over my own impulsive sexual desire.”
“I think this goes a little deeper than desire.”
I huff a humorless laugh. “Yeah.”
“You have to talk to him,” she urges.
“There’s not a fucking chance of that happening.”
She shifts, pulling her body away from mine as she sits beside me.
“If you care about him, you have to tell him how you feel.”
Maybe telling her anything was a bad idea. I sit up, facing away from her on the edge of the bed. My fingers shake as they sweep over the top of my head.
I jump when her hand touches my back. She pulls it away immediately.
“You don’t understand,” I mutter.
“I understand love,” she begins. “Well, I understand the concept of love, anyway.”
I laugh at the ridiculousness of her words. “Believe me, babe. It isn’t love. I may want him to fuck me, but the idea of some sort of fucked up happily-ever-after has never entered my mind.”
“I won’t tell anyone,” she promises as I walk into the bathroom and leave her sitting on the bed.
Love?
Only in my wildest dreams, and even then the idea makes my heart pound. I didn’t have to lie to her, but honesty out in the open, confessions that will never gain any ground are pointless.
I sucked my straight best friend’s cock. He loved it and a minute later freaked the fuck out. How can I think about love when at a minimum I hope he doesn’t hate me and kill me in my sleep?
***
The high from last night filled my blood all the way across town and back to grab some paperwork Kincaid texted about while on the plane. That bliss ended the second I stepped into the kitchen.
It turns to dread as I walk to the coffee pot and overfill a mug. Unsure of what to do next, for the first time since joining Cerberus, I take my time cleaning up the mess I made on the counter. When I turn, facing the animated groups of people, all enjoying their breakfast and talking amongst themselves, I debate just walking out and hiding in my room like the pussy I’ve suddenly become.
Darby doesn’t allow it, waving me over when our eyes meet. She’s perched in Snatch’s lap, looking as beautiful as she did last night. Tight tank top and tiny shorts, she’s possibly the most gorgeous woman in the room.
“Morning,” I say keeping my eyes on my coffee.
I ignore the stiffening in Snatch’s leg as my thigh brushes his. I scoot a few inches away, hating the broken contact, but knowing that he needs it. The tension in the air surrounding the three of us is thick and more stressful than I would’ve anticipated.
Darby must also notice because she lifts her legs and lays them across mine, joining the three of us once again. Being included by even half of them is a mild relief, soothing the ache in my chest that has been building since I saw the look in Snatch’s eyes just before he left my room last night. I close my eyes, hearing the click of the lock between our joined rooms all over again, the deadbolt having never been activated until last night. The action said everything that ever needs to be said about the situation.
“I’m going to miss you boys,” Darby says.
“We’ll miss you, too,” Snatch says with a nip at her earlobe.
We’ll.
He actually includes me in his statements. I wonder immediately if it’s just a habit he plans on breaking soon.
“You should stay,” I offer.
Snatch doesn’t look at me, but he also doesn’t argue.
“I made a lot of promises,” I hear him whisper in her ear. “I’m not near done with you.”
“Let me go see what Aviana plans,” she shifts her weight, pulling her legs from my lap but doesn’t stand immediately. Her eyes find mine as she rolls her hips, grinding down on Snatch’s crotch. He groans, leaning back a few inches, giving her free reign.
“Not in here, babe,” he grunts before clasping her hips and effectively ceasing her teasing.
“I can’t wait until you’re both inside me at the same time.”
She licks Snatch’s mouth before dipping her delicate tongue inside. The second she pulls away from him, she grips the front of my cut and pulls me to her mouth. The motion forces me to put my hand out to prevent me from crashing into both of them. Her lips find mine, and I’m not certain if it’s her, or the placement of my hand on my friend’s thigh that causes the moan to escape my throat.
“I’ll be right back boys,” she whispers against my lips but loud enough for us both to hear.
My hand leaves the only place I want it the second she pops up from Snatch’s lap. We both watch as she saunters away. Hell, every single man in the room is watching her as she sits down beside her friend.
The unfamiliar tension between us goes up like a black wall of despair almost immediately.
“Hey, man,” I begin, needing just to put that shit out there. “About last night.”
He gets up from the table, so fast his chair scrapes the dining area tile. My eyes find my coffee once more.
“Fuck,” I mutter, lifting my eyes just in time to see Snatch clasp Darby’s hand and pull her from the room.
Chapter 8
Snatch
About last night.
Three simple words, spoken with no sexual innuendo. A segue into a conversation about something I prayed he’d never mention while in the same second hoping he’d beg me to let happen again. All night I laid awake in my bed, listening to him fuck Darby over and over. My cock pulsed and throbbed in rhythm to the banging of his headboard.
That throbbing renewed when he placed his hand on my thigh and pounded relentlessly when he turned toward me to discuss what we did last night.
I can’t spend a second more sitting here, exposed, in the open, around a group of men who would never be okay with the things we did, no matter how enjoyable it was. It doesn’t matter if our dalliances affect no one else, Marines don’t fuck other Marines, with the exception of wooks. It’s an unspoken rule. That’s a lie, the rule is pretty much written in stone, and not much has changed people’s way of thinking even after ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ was repealed in 2011.
Darby is just standing from the table having spoken with Aviana. The grin on her face is all I need to be sure she’s staying.
“Where are we going?” she asks as I take her hand and pull her out of the kitchen.
“My room,” I grunt. “Seems I missed out on some fun last night.”
She sighs loudly as we hit the back hallway. “You made that choice, big guy, not us.”
Us. Not me. She’s including Itchy as if we’re some sort of unspoken team.
I shake my head, even knowing it’s not going to keep the images from last night out of my head. Honestly, I don’t want them gone. I’ve stroked my cock to numerous unsatisfying orgasms already thinking about last night.
Her lips are on my neck by the time I get the door closed, and we’re secluded in the room. I guide her, first to the locked door leading into Itchy’s room and then to the edge of the bed, where I strip her out of her clothes. My nose trails down the delicate curve of her neck as her hands find and release my zipper. The relief of pressure on my cock is immediate, my groan the proof of my need.
I breathe in her scent, hating that she showered. She now smells like Itchy’s shower gel, a rich masculine, woods
y scent, but I’d hoped the heady scent of his body on hers after fucking all night was what I would find. Knowing he loves to rip condoms off and ejaculate on stomachs and tits, I was anticipating the taste of his come on her skin.
“Can we talk first?” The timidness in her voice has my hand stopping low on her belly. It’s almost as if she’s unsure if I will do as she asks.
“Of course,” I tell her taking a half-step back. “So long as I can still get naked.”
She beams up at me, reaching for my t-shirt.
“Nope,” I chastise with another half-step back. “If we’re going to talk you’re going to have to keep your hands to yourself. I only have so much control here.”
She pouts, but drops her hands to her side, watching mine with a fierce lust as I make the most of her eyes on me, undressing slowly and piece by piece. Once naked, I angle my head, indicating for her to climb on my bed. She obliges, and I follow after her.
“What do you want to talk about, gorgeous? The weather? Sleeping arrangements?”
She laughs. “Tell me more about the club.”
“Like what?” My hackles rise slightly, and for the first time since meeting her, I question her motives and intentions.
“That pretty redhead,” she says dreamily.
“She goes by Snapper. She’s been with the club just about as long as it’s been in existence. She can be trouble, but she’s also a hell of a good time,” I explain.
“She’s with that biker from last night?”
“She was last night. Tonight she may be with someone else.” I watch her eyes, waiting for her to put it all together.
“She’s a whore?”
“She’s a club girl,” I emphasize.
“So she’s here to fuck the guys?”
I laugh. Not many people understand or even take the chance to understand what goes on in a clubhouse. Their judgments and assumptions cloud their minds before someone even has a chance to explain how Cerberus operates.
“She’s here because she wants to be here. She’s very open about her sexuality.” I pause, and she waits patiently for me to continue. “She isn’t sleeping with anyone because she’s obligated. Some of the girls just like to have sex.”
“All the girls here?”
I shake my head but continue to talk because confusion is pulling her brow tight. “Rose is married to Doc, you haven’t met them yet, but they’re the older couple, sort of like the club parents. Khloe and Emmalyn who were sitting at the table with Aviana are spoken for.”
I don’t bother mentioning the bullshit with Kid and Khloe right now. We’ll have to touch on that later.
“Other than those three, the rest are club girls. They stay here because they want to be here. They help out around the clubhouse. They cook, clean, sometimes laundry if you ask really nicely.” I wink at her.
“And the guys? They sleep with all of the girls.”
I smile at the hopefulness in her voice. “They’re pretty liberal and equally opportunistic with their time.”
A devious grin turns up the corners of her mouth.
“Kid, the young biker and Kincaid, the club President are off limits.” Her frown turns into a pout. “I’m serious, Darby. You will be out on your ass. I advise you don’t even look in their direction.”
She looks affronted, pulling her head back a couple of inches at my words. “I’m not a rude person, Snatch.”
“Darlin’, I’m not telling you to be rude. Be nice, cordial, friendly even, but it may be best if you just give those guys a wide berth. Sex appeal and the need to fuck just rolls off of you. I don’t want Khloe and Emmalyn misinterpreting that.”
She nods. “But Snapper is okay?”
The half-hearted look on my face confuses her even more. “Snapper isn’t okay?”
“She’s… a damn wildcat. She’s pulled some shit around the clubhouse that has made her quite unpopular, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. If you choose to hang out with her, it’s fine, but don’t expect the warmest welcome from the other girls. They’re not mean, but they won’t be as confident in your trust if you spend most of your time with Snapper.”
“But Snapper is my people?” She’s contemplative for a second. “I know I’ll be more comfortable around her.”
“Just don’t let her get you into trouble,” I warn. “If it has anything to do with the taken guys, or in your gut, it doesn’t seem like a good idea, ask Itchy or me for some guidance.”
She nods in understanding. “Let’s talk about Itchy.”
Her nail abrades my nipple as languid strokes trace the tattoos on my chest.
“I want to watch you guys together. I can’t imagine a hotter fantasy.”
I shake my head, rejecting the idea outright.
“Please?” she begs as if asking for something as simple as a new purse or a ride to the movies. “Last night was so fucking hot.”
I grip her hips when she moves to straddle my legs. Thankfully, she’s keeping my erect cock between us rather than trying to mount it. I’m all for loads of fucking, but going unwrapped isn’t something anyone will catch me participating in anytime soon.
“I was drunk,” I counter.
She leans in, her warm breath on my neck and ear. The gooseflesh that spreads down my arm is a welcome diversion to the thoughts in my head.
“I’ll never forget the sounds his mouth made as he worked you.” A groan rumbles in my chest.
“Me either,” I confess.
“The sounds you made when you came is what set me off. My only regret is that he got it all and I didn’t get a taste.”
I’d never confess to her that I was jealous she got all Itchy had to offer.
“How often do you guys do threesomes?”
“More often than not,” I answer honestly. “We like to play together.”
“But nothing like last night?”
I shake my head no.
“You didn’t like it?” she presses with her words as her nails scrape my short Mohawk. “It seemed like you liked it. Your orgasm shook the bed.”
I know it did. I felt it all the way to my core, from the top of my head to the tips of my toes, and every damn thing in between. My cock jumps between us, eager for a repeat of the sensations.
“I was drunk,” I reiterate.
“You’re sober now, and your cock seems to think it’s a good idea,” she urges, never changing the tone of her voice.
I can’t deny any of what she’s saying, and my free will, my right to choose is the only thing I have left, but Goddamn it if I don’t want to give in. I want to chase those feelings I had last night. I need to feel his lips tugging on my erection, the roughness of his beard against my thighs.
I groan and hiss in tandem when she grips me in her fist and cups my sac in her other hand.
I open my mouth to deny her but, “I’ll text him,” comes out instead.
Chapter 9
Itchy
Snatch: My room NOW
I stare down at the text, dread filling my gut. I knew this moment would come. I knew last night before I ever opened my mouth to take that first lick of his cock that it would come to this. I rise from the table, deciding at the threshold of the kitchen to go ahead and face the situation like a man, even though my eyes do dart to the front door.
Cracking my knuckles, preparing my fists for the brawl I know I’m about to face, I make my way down the short hall to Snatch’s room. I don’t bother knocking. He summoned me, so he knows I’m the next one coming through his door.
Opening it and stepping inside, my brain scrambles the first few seconds at finding both of them naked, Darby’s mouth wrapped around Snatch’s proud cock. I’m hard as stone before the door even clicks shut. Anticipating what could happen in this room, I’m mindful of making sure the lock is activated. Getting interrupted by anyone in the clubhouse will bring questions I’m sure none of us will ever be ready to answer.
“You wanted me?” My voice rolls out in a rough, scra
tchy tone, my eyes never diverting from the skill of Darby’s mouth.
She grins up at me, a scheming tilt to her puffy lips. “I want you both.”
Snatch doesn’t even look at me as he places his hand on the back of her head, guiding her back down on his cock.
“Get naked,” she orders before sucking him in again.
I look up at Snatch for confirmation or guidance that he actually wants to get involved again, but he continues to deny me his eyes. I need a clue or something to tell me which direction this is going to go. Is this going to be a normal three-way, like we’ve done countless times or are we going to take things further like I did last night?
“You heard the lady,” he finally grunts out, attention still on the dark head bobbing up and down his shaft.
Unsure hands pull my t-shirt over my head as I kick my boots off. My jeans and boxers are shed last, just as Darby reaches her hand out to me. I take it and climb on the bed, making sure not to touch Snatch.
“I want to watch you suck him,” she whispers with her hand still at the base of his cock.
I want to tell her his gorgeous cock doesn’t need assistance because it stands up on its own but that’s giving away more than I want right now. I don’t want to freak him out, and the knowledge that I study his cock more than the girls we’ve been with has the power to do just that.
I reach for it, needing to replace her hand with mine, her mouth with mine.
“No,” Snatch grumbles, and I pull back instantly.
Suddenly, I feel like a voyeur, someone who’s not been invited. Heart pounding in my ears at his rejection I begin to slide off the bed.
“Stop,” Darby says with a lust-filled voice, refusing to give up.
She’s looking at Snatch, but I can tell by the inflection that she’s directing the word at both of us.
“You’re leaking at the thought,” she tells him purposely running her fingers through the slickness at his tip.
Snatch shakes his head but still remains silent.
“I have an idea,” she says and reaches for the stack of folded bandannas on his bedside table.