by F. T. Zele
“I love you,” he mumbles.
“I love you, too,” I whisper and close my eyes, ready to fall asleep.
4 Months Later . . .
As I sit at my desk, scrolling through messages between Liz and me from the past six months, I reflect on our relationship. Although the beginning was tough and might have broken other people¸ we made it through. We have had the most amazing time growing this deep love for one another. I watch her love my mother as if she were her own, knowing Liz is missing that part from her life. Things have fallen into place, and we fit together like we were made for each other.
She always tells me that I’m her savior, but nobody knows how much she has saved me by giving my life more meaning. To find something I never knew I was missing and have it flourish in my life makes me see clearer than I ever have.
Liz has taught me how to be a tolerable person and not react as I used to. I’m a better person because she sees the better person I’ve never seen before. Until I met Liz, I lived thinking I needed to be a defensive person, not letting anybody in, scared they would leave like my past had always shown. I know I can’t live without her, and I don’t ever want to.
Glancing at the time, I realize I’ve been sitting here for a while. If I don’t leave now, I’m going to be late for my meeting at the restaurant that is close to being finished. We have a few loose ends to tie up, and after that, the planner is coming for the opening.
I have decided to host a grand opening party, but make it a more intimate party with all our friends and colleagues to celebrate Liz’s thirtieth birthday. I have a bunch of surprises scheduled, and everything is going according to plan. I can’t wait to see the look on her face when they start to unravel.
My phone rings as I pull up to the restaurant. It’s Sophie; she’s been helping me with the party plans.
“Hey, Soph. You still meeting me later?” I ask, hoping she isn’t flaking on me.
“Yeah, I just wanted to touch base with you and make sure.”
“Okay, well, I’m here to talk to the builder and check things out. The planner will be here in about two hours, so I’ll see you in a bit,” I say as I watch construction workers run in and out of the building.
“Perfect. Bye.” She hangs up.
I walk into the building and see most things are ready to go. There’s still work to be done, but we are closer to finishing. I see John, the contractor, walking around inspecting things, and I head over to him.
“Hey, John. Things are looking good. Are we going to make the deadline?”
“We’re on time, if not a little ahead of schedule.”
“You’re sure? I have an event planned soon, and I need everything done and cleaned up at least a week before that,” I say, making it clear.
“Things will be done sooner than that. I assure you. What do you want to do about the sign out front? I need you to make a decision, so there’s time for it to be made,” he stresses.
“I know. I just wanted to make sure I have the right name. It’s going to be called Elisabetta,” I say, finally sure of the name I’ve been thinking about for the last couple of weeks.
“All right, can you write it down, so I make sure to get the spelling correct? Also, get it over to the person who is making the menus, so they’ll be ready to go in time.”
Chef Paul has had the menu planned out for weeks. It will be nice to finalize the items, since the last time I saw him was when he was cooking for Liz and me. He obviously passed the test with flying colors.
“I’ll do that today. I have a party planner coming here shortly to go over the event, and then I’ll make sure to get it done.”
A little while later, the planner arrives, and Sophie walks in shortly after. Introducing them, I say, “Sophie, this is Monica. Monica, this is Liz’s best friend. I wanted her help to make everything perfect, so whatever she says goes. I already have the food picked out, but as far as decorating for a party, not really my thing. So, have at it.” I give Sophie control of the party decorations.
I know how much Liz means to Sophie, and I know she will make the concept fit. I really like Sophie, even though it took some time to understand her reasons for being so hard on me. Plus, Tyler seems pretty set on her being the one for him, so I want to keep this group together.
“Braxton, do you have a set color scheme already in your head?” Sophie asks.
“No, like I said, this is all you. I have my own tricks up my sleeve for the party,” I stupidly say, knowing Sophie is going to hound me until I cave and tell her.
“I was thinking silver and black, maybe a little hot pink to pop. We also need to embrace the thirty. I want huge glittery thirties around.” She looks around, planning in her head what she thinks will be perfect.
“Sounds good. I want a red carpet out front, obviously. Before we enter, I’m going to reveal the name to her.”
“Oh, you picked a name! We’ve been waiting for you to set the name. What is it?”
I debate whether to tell her, not wanting her to spill the secret before it’s time, but I yield. “I know, but I don’t think I’m going to tell anybody yet. It’s big.”
“Come on, Braxton. Don’t play with me. I need to know. I swear I won’t say a word. You don’t see me pestering you about all these surprises you keep hinting at.”
“Okay, but if you tell her, you’ll ruin the big surprise, and I don’t think you want to do that. You are standing in Elisabetta. It’s Italian for Elizabeth.”
“Are you fucking kidding me? It’s perfect. You really do love her.”
“Was there ever any doubt about that? She’s it for me, and this restaurant is hers. She helped with the design and dealt with my moods during the construction. This is my way of telling her I never want to be without her.” I lay it out to Sophie. I want her to know everything I do is for Liz.
“Liz is going to freak. I can’t wait to see the look on her face,” she gushes.
“I hope she likes it. I’ve been beating myself up over the name for weeks now.” The unsure feelings I used to have about everything have melted away over the months. I know for sure in my heart; I’m doing the right thing by her. “I’ve got a couple of calls to make. Finalize things with Monica, and we’ll talk in a bit. I have a sign that needs to be made quickly and menus to be printed,” I say as I leave them.
They walk around, chatting about their ideas. I head to the office in the back to finish what needs to be done and to go over the vendor list. A little while later, there is a knock at the door, and Sophie and Monica walk in.
“I think we’ve got everything, Braxton. This is going to be an amazing party for Liz,” Sophie says.
“Do you want to go over the plans before I leave? I have a lot to get done in time,” Monica chimes in.
“Monica, do whatever Sophie says. I don’t need to look at them. I trust her.”
“Okay, I’ll call you later this week. I’m going to have to start setting things up about two days before the party. We’ll plan the time and meet here,” she says before she leaves.
“Thanks, Monica. Let me know what you need, and I’ll get it done.”
Once Monica leaves, I see Sophie thinking, and I know I’m about to get a famous “Sophie Talk.”
“Braxton, I need to ask you something. You say Liz is it for you, and I want to believe you. I just need to know you aren’t going to screw her like Jacob did. The fact she didn’t know what was going on right in front of her and went through everything not just once, but twice . . . You need to know where I’m going with this.”
“Sophie, I thought we were past this. You know I love Liz more than anything and would do anything for her. I would never do anything to fuck that up.”
“I know, but I needed to put that out there. This is the happiest I have ever seen her. I can’t describe it. She’s just different, in a good way. The smile I used to see on her face when she was with Jacob doesn’t compare to her smile now. You don’t understand. It’s not just you. She ha
s this bond with your mom, and if you to do anything to take that away from her, you will destroy her. She has something she has never had before.”
“My mom loves her, too. I swear to you, she’s it for me. You don’t need to worry about that. I think you’ll see just how much she means to me at the party.”
“You better. I hate bursting through your office when you fuck up. Don’t make me do it again.”
“We’re on the same page here, I promise.”
“Okay, well, I’ve got stuff to do. Call me if you need anything,” she says.
“You got it.”
I finish everything here and head over to Jade to get some stuff done. As I’m driving, my phone rings, and my car tells me it’s Liz.
“Hey, babe. What’s up?”
“Hi, so, I was thinking about dinner. Are you going to be busy, or should I order something?”
“I’ll be at Jade for a while. I need to get some stuff done. Not sure how long I’ll be there.”
“I can bring something to you there.”
“Okay, that sounds like a plan. Can you run by my house first and check on my mom? I won’t make it there before she goes to sleep.”
“I planned on it anyway. I’ll see you a little later. Going to finish a couple of things at the office.”
“Great. Love you.”
“Love you, too. Bye,” I say, ending the call.
I close up the office and make my way to Braxton’s house. I have been spending a lot of time there since I told him about selling my house. I put my house on the market and still haven’t found a place that fits me.
For now, I bounce between places, but the best part is I get to spend time with Jade. It’s been amazing getting to know her, and we have grown close. She has been the mother to me I never had. I can talk to her and not hold back my feelings, and she can tell me when I’m acting irrational and not to worry if my feelings are getting hurt. I love that she’s a straight shooter. I walk into the house and find her sitting in her usual spot.
“Jade. Hi, what are you watching?” I ask, hoping not to startle her.
“You know, same as always. What’s going on?”
“Nothing, just wanted to come by before I head to the bar to take Braxton dinner.” I plop down on the couch, feeling more tired than I have in a long time.
“That’s sweet. How was work today?” She yawns between sentences.
“It was good. I don’t know why I’m so tired, though. The last couple of weeks have been so draining.”
“You’ve been working and helping Braxton with the restaurant. You need a break. Don’t worry. It’s almost done, and then things will go back to being semi-normal.”
“I sure hope so. Sophie and I are going shopping for the party. Would you and Barbara like to come with us?”
“I’m sure we can. Just let her know when and where.”
“Did you already eat dinner?” I ask.
“Yes, already taken care of.”
“Okay, I’m going to rinse off real quick before I head out.”
“All right, dear.”
I head out of the living room and up the stairs to Braxton’s room. I started leaving some of my stuff here, so I wouldn’t have to drive back and forth all the time. Once I’m inside his room, I sit down on the bed for a minute, trying to rest before I leave again. I wake up to Braxton nudging me and whispering my name.
“What time is it?” I ask, not knowing how long I’ve been asleep.
“It’s eight o’clock. Are you okay?” he asks, concerned.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t bring you dinner. Shit.”
“Don’t worry about that. You’ve been really tired lately. Maybe you should see your doctor.”
“I feel fine, just tired. That’s all,” I say as I lie here, feeling bad for ditching him tonight.
“Liz, you know how I feel about these things. Can you just go to the doctor? It will make me feel better. Maybe you’re anemic?” He fights me on this.
“If I go, will you leave it alone? I don’t feel sick, but I’ll go if it makes you feel better.”
“Thank you. Want me to take you?”
“No, you’re busy, I’ll call first thing in the morning and see if they can fit me in,” I concede, knowing this will keep him quiet about the issue until I go. As I stretch out, now wide-awake after taking a nap, my stomach grumbles loudly.
“Let’s go downstairs and eat. Then I’ll make sure to get you good and tired again for bed,” he says.
“Well, when you put it that way . . .” Playful sarcasm drips from my voice.
Braxton cooks for me, and after we eat, we make our way back to his room. He showers before he gets in bed next to me.
“You really going to the doctor tomorrow?” he asks.
“Yes, I told you I would. Can I take a rain check on your offer earlier? I really need to get some sleep.”
“Okay, it’s just if something happened to you, I wouldn’t know how to be me. I need you here, forever,” he expresses.
“Braxton, nothing’s wrong with me, and I’m not going anywhere, I promise. I love you. Now, get some sleep,” I say as I snuggle up to his side, hoping it puts him at ease.
“See you in the morning. Sleep well.” He yawns while he speaks.
I close my eyes as I try to fall asleep again. It’s hard for Braxton to function when he has a million things racing through his mind. I know how inconsistencies make his brain start thinking the worst, and I can’t manage to tell him I’ve been taking care of myself my entire life, and I know when something is off. So, I usually give in, and I will tomorrow, so he doesn’t have this weighing on him while he deals with the restaurant.
I lie in bed, staring at the ceiling until I finally drift to sleep.
I call my doctor’s office the next morning and explain what is going on and how my boyfriend insists on me being seen. They have an available appointment, so hopefully, I can put all this to rest. After walking into the office, I sign in and take a seat while I wait for the nurse to call me back. I only wait a couple of minutes before being escorted to the examination room.
“I’m just going to take your height and weight and your blood pressure and temperature,” the nurse says as she points to the scale.
“Okay,” I say as I step on the scale and watch her scribble down my weight.
“He’ll be right in,” she acknowledges when she finishes my preliminary assessments.
I sit, knowing nothing is wrong with me because everything seems perfect. There is a light knock on the door before my doctor walks into the room.
“Liz, nice to see you. How’s everything?” he asks while he pulls up a stool and sits next to the exam table I’m sitting on.
“I’m good. Things have been good.”
“So, what brings you in today? Last time we talked was a while ago for a sinus infection. The antibiotics helped, right?” He opens his chart and flips through some of the papers.
“I’ve been overly tired lately. I think I’m fine, but my boyfriend insisted I come in and get checked. I’m really only here because it makes him feel better. His mom is ill and won’t be around much longer, so he takes things seriously when it has to do with health.”
“I see. We’ll just do a physical and get you on your way. What is the date of your last period?”
“About three weeks ago. October third,” I say, looking at the calendar on my phone.
“You are being careful, right? Still on birth control?” He jots down notes.
“Of course. Same thing you’ve been prescribing me for years.”
“Let me listen to your heart and lungs,” he says, putting the cold stethoscope under my shirt. “Big breath in . . . again.” He listens some more. “Everything seems fine,” he states, checking my glands on my neck. “These are a little swollen, though. Looks like this is an infection trying to run its course. I’m going to prescribe you a stronger round of antibiotics than I did last time. Can you take this into the bathroom and gi
ve me a sample?” He hands me a specimen cup.
“Certainly. Come back here when I’m done?” I ask.
“Yes.”
A few minutes later, I return to the room and hand him the cup.
“I’m going to schedule some lab tests run since we haven’t done any recently. I’ll give you a form for that, and you can take it to the lab downstairs.” He pauses. “I’ll be right back. I’m going to test this. I just want to rule out everything.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” I tell him.
I wait about five minutes before he comes back in with a couple of papers in his hand.
“Well, the infection didn’t come back in your urine, so I’m not going to put you on any antibiotics.”
“Okay, so I’m good to go?” I ask, hopping down from the table.
“Not exactly. You say you’ve been taking your birth control, and you haven’t missed any days?”
“What? What does that have to do with anything?” Alarm bells start sounding in my head. I have never missed a pill. I start breathing fast. I’m freaking out inside. I need to sit down.
“Liz, your urine came back positive for the hormones that your body produces when you’re pregnant.”
“That isn’t possible. It has to be wrong because I’ve always taken my pill. Never missed,” I say, shaking my head.
“You do know that birth control is 99.9% effective. There is always that 0.1 percent that it doesn’t work. You must fall in that category. I want to get you in the next room with the ultrasound machine, so we can see how far along you are.”
“I . . . I need a second here. This is not what I came in for today. This can’t be possible,” I blurt out.
“I’ll give you a moment. Then meet me in Room Four. Can I get anything for you? Do you want some water?” he asks as he watches me.
I get up and start pacing the floor in the small room. How am I going to tell Braxton this? I mean, we have talked about kids, but never anything seriously. He has so much going on from his businesses and his mom. Oh my god.