“All right, but you do what I say, when I say it.”
She nodded and I didn’t believe her any more than I believed she was truly as plain as she looked. She was a woman after all.
●●●
I was surprised to see that this construction site was actually in use. I had assumed I was going to find an abandoned lot just being used for the address. A building was in progress and several cranes were lifting I-beams up about 50 feet to the top of the structure. Dump trucks and excavators worked in tandem moving dirt from one side of the property to the other. They looked like they were having more fun than I was.
A group of cars was parked to one side in front of a portable office and I caught sight of my Battleboy friends, Blondie and Brownie. Their hands appeared empty, but I was willing to bet that their nervators were close by. I turned to Anda.
“I want you to hide somewhere.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to see if Brian will trade Jet for the file.” I took one file and handed her the other.
She opened it and frowned. “This is the real file.”
“Yep. If it looks like everything is going wrong I want to you get that file to the police. Ask for Inspector Hector Young.”
“Be careful.”
“She cares. How nice.” She batted me with the file and grinned. “That’s more like it.”
I walked away from where she was hunkered down, and then scooted between the cars. Brownie saw me and hurried over. I raised my hand and waved the file. “Don’t get rough, boys. I’m just here to see Brian.”
Brownie grabbed my arm and pulled me to the center of the cars. He told Blondie to tell Brian who was here. I figured I was safe enough, since Brian would likely want to kill me himself. I looked around and tried to see where Jet could be. There were eight or ten cars nearby but he didn’t appear to be in any of them. I hoped they hadn’t hurt him.
When I finally saw him, he was being maneuvered by Blondie. Brian was ahead of them and stopped directly in front of me with a smirk on his handsome, yet oddly swarmy face. Blondie hauled Jet over to the trunk of one of the cars.
“I am impressed that you found me, Mr. Eldritch. I wasn’t sure you could follow the breadcrumbs.”
“I was really hungry. Why am I talking to you, Brian? I thought you were just the head boss’s lap tailwagger.”
“I prefer intelligent stickler. Tailwaggers lack that killer instinct.”
I waved the file in front of him. “Are we going to deal? The file for Jet?”
“What do I care about the file? If I want it I can have one of the Battleboys take it from you.” He pointed at Jet. “I really wanted him, or more importantly, his thoughts.”
And with that comment I remembered that Brian Handle could read minds. Was he reading mine right now? Boy, that must be boring. I had lots of questions but no answers.
“Well, if you have finished with your light reading then I guess Jet and I will just leave you alone.” I tucked the file back in my jacket but Brownie stepped behind me. “Is there anything more you need?”
“You interest me, Mr. Eldritch. We have been doing this dance for a while and I am becoming tired of it. Yet, I didn’t just want to take you out. And that had me wondering why. Why should I leave you alive?”
“Why don’t you read your own mind and figure it out. I’m getting tired myself.”
“You see, we are so much alike. I realized I was lacking information. I had wanted to get inside your head first, but it turns out your partner was much more interesting.”
Jet had apparently revived from the nervator for now he leaned casually against the car. His smile was in place and I nodded to him. He grinned even bigger (how does he do that?) and I knew that whatever Brian was going to tell me it wouldn’t change a thing.
“Brian, boring me to death is one way to do me in, but I’d rather you just zapped me.”
“You don’t want to know what I learned about Mr. Moored?”
“I couldn’t care less.”
“I think you could. What if I told you that your partner is a murderer?”
I didn’t glance at Jet. I just yawned. “I’d say he had a good reason.”
Brian smiled. It wasn’t a pleasant smile like Jet’s. It was more of a satisfied smile like a meowmaker who just finished a whiskersqueak meal that he caught himself. “And what if I told you he murdered his mother?”
I made sure my expression didn’t change. “I’d say he had a good reason.”
Brian shook his head. “I don’t believe you. I think we’ll give you a zap and then I’ll get a good grip on your mind, too.” He turned to Blondie and told him to grab the nervator. Then he turned back to me. “Gobblebird.”
I stood there perfectly still and couldn’t even tell him to clean up his language. Behind him, I could see Jet’s face light up like Mid-Frostern morning and I wondered why my being a statue always made him so happy. Since Brian was decidedly not happy, I assumed he probably could not read my mind in statue form. From what he said about Jet, it sounded like he had to touch his intended victim. My theory was confirmed when he rested his hand on my cold white arm and frowned. If I could have, I would have grinned like Jet. Brian, in fact, couldn’t read my mind. That was the best news I had heard since we started this case.
Brian let me go and turned to the Battleboys. He instructed them to drag Jet back inside the office but leave me where I was. I guess he figured I was harmless and he was right. It wasn’t like I was going to be much help rescuing Jet. But never underestimate a statue.
I became help very quickly and in a most unexpected way. One moment I was watching Jet being shoved back toward the office wishing I could help and the next I was swinging through the air in the exact way that statues don’t. A large hook was stuck in the hole made by my crooked right arm and it had lifted me about four feet off the ground. I had no control over my flight, but someone must have because I banged right into Blondie, knocking him to the ground. As he sat up my feet came back at him and he fell back to the ground, out cold. I swung to my left and hit Brownie, knocking him out with a blow to the back of the head. Jet ducked under my dangling form and got loose from the thug before Brownie crashed to the ground. He ran between the cars and that was the last I saw of him.
Brian had gone ahead to the office and now came out to see what the noise was. I swung toward him but he ducked and I put a hole in the office wall. I was afraid I was going to put a hole in me. Brian grabbed a nervator and held it over his head. I was more curious than nervous. I had never met a weapon that affected me in this state and I doubted the nervator would be any different. He zapped me as I swung by and my feet knocked it from his hands. I didn’t feel any different, but being a statue feels a lot like having your brain disconnected from your body so I couldn’t be sure.
Brian bent over to pick up the nervator again as I swung back. I made perfect contact with his back end and he fell to the ground, right on top of the paddle. I couldn’t see what happened but I heard a crackle and a moan and figured that Brian had gotten some of his own medicine.
I had bigger concerns than Brian’s brain. I worried that if I turned back to human I would fall several feet to the ground and I worried that if I didn’t turn back soon I would be stuck hanging for a long while. My controller had other ideas. I felt lightheaded as I was lifted high above the cars and unceremoniously dumped onto the back of a flatbed truck. As it drove off with me, I wondered who was in charge. I was beginning to think it wasn’t They any more.
●●●
Two days later Jet and I were in our office basking in the glow of a job well done. Jet had turned the file over to the City along with an unnerved Mr. Hunter Newman, CPA. Our bank accounts were nicely padded and we had just returned from a delicious lunch at Nell’s. I had questions but since I had stayed a statue for two days, only coming back this morning, and my first priority had been food, I hadn’t had a chance to get the whole story out of Jet.
“Spill,” I said.
Jet grinned. “What do you want to know?”
I asked the most important question first. “What is Brian up to?”
Jet shook his head. “I do not know. It must be something big and probably not assigned by the head boss, but his mind reading only goes one way.”
“Yeah, the mind reading. He’s not an omni.”
“No. He has to be touching you, but with his little toy he can make that happen easily.”
I avoided the next obvious question since it was awkward. I wasn’t going to dump Jet as my partner so his past could be explored any time.
“So Anda convinced the crane operator to pick me up and swing me around like a demolition ball.”
Jet grinned. “That was brilliant.”
“Sure, but the question is how did she do that? Surely the guy would have asked her questions and she could not have answered them.”
“I am from Auronan.”
I turned from Jet to see Anda standing in our doorway. “Good afternoon, Anda. We missed you at Nell’s.”
She stepped in wearing another of her hideous wrap dresses. “Well, Nell’s is off my list of treats for a while.”
“So you are from Auronan. I’ve never met anyone from there and I don’t know how being from that moon helped us.”
Jet rubbed a hand over his face. “Maybe you should just show him.”
“It’s so dangerous. He is likely to babble.”
Me? Babble? She obviously doesn’t know me. “Sure, show me. I can take it.”
Jet turned his back and Anda started to untie her belt. I felt I should stop her, but couldn’t form the words. The next thing I knew every love song I’d ever heard was in my head and I wished I had a box of chocolates, a dozen red love petals, and a diamond ring to give to her.
Anda Leske was the most beautiful woman in the universe. She was perfection. She was my heart’s desire. I wanted to express everything that was in my mind. I felt Jet’s hand on my shoulder and I batted it away. Nothing could stop me. My chair swung around and I found myself looking into Jet’s ugly face, with his wild red hair and oversized grin. I pushed him away and turned back to my perfect Anda. She still stood there, but with her hair in an untidy bun and her dress back in place. Jet laughed.
“Wow. None of us reacted that powerfully.”
“What just happened?” I felt drunk on happiness and it was not a pleasant feeling. I drank some of the coffee on my desk and found it cold. Cold would do. I needed cold.
Jet laughed again. “Apparently along with having a Problem everyone on Auronan suffers from glamour.”
I swallowed hard. “Everyone on the planet looks like you. That must be…distracting.”
Anda smiled. It was a lovely smile, not goofy like Jet’s. I looked away. “There are variations, but we are all gorgeous. Our solution is to hide our glamour. Everyone dresses plain and wears their hair simply. We enjoy anything that is normal and even a little ugly.”
“So you showed your glamour to the crane driver. That is some power you have there. Did you use it on your boss, too?”
Jet answered for the silent Anda. “He was yelling at her when I arrived. Apparently his office was bugged, which is how Brian found us. I had picked up one of the nervators as I ran away and used it on him before he could hurt Anda. I only caught the tail end of Anda’s show so I was not suffering from withdrawal like the crane guy.”
Withdrawal. That was exactly what I was feeling. I really wanted to see more and I really knew I should not. I was grateful for Jet’s presence.
“Well, Anda. I thank you for saving our lives. I guess having you along was a good thing. If possible I’d like to repay you for your help.”
“You could give me a job.”
I frowned. That threw a bucket of cold water on my hormones. “A job.”
Anda nodded. “Mr. Newman is in jail and even if he wasn’t I wouldn’t go back there. You figured out my real Problem and I don’t freak out at your Problem.”
“You do not even know my Problems,” Jet said, but gently.
“True, but it can’t be worse than overwhelming glamour.” She stepped between the desks. “I thought we made a good team. I don’t need much, just a chance.”
I looked at Jet and he nodded. I frowned and he nodded slowly. Okay, if Jet thought she was sincere that was good enough for me. It was his Problem. I wondered if he really had killed his mother and I wondered if it mattered. Maybe all that we all needed in this world filled with Problems was a chance. I nodded, too.
“Welcome to the team.”
Jet split his face with his grin. “Luck, brains, and beauty. How can we go wrong?”
Collected In Stone
(A Fourth Travis Eldritch Problem)
By Jennifer Vandenberg
All Rights Reserved © 2013 Jennifer Vandenberg
This books is dedicated to Tami
with many thanks for her help with the marketing of this series.
Crawlers. Either you love them or you hate them. Eight-legged crawlers. Six-legged crawlers. No-legged crawlers. Crawlers that fly. Crawlers that dig. Living in the city I don’t often think of crawlers. I occasionally see them in my apartment or making homes in the corners of dingy warehouses, but for the most part crawlers don’t infect my daily life. Lucky for me I don’t know of any crawlers who are attracted to stone. Since I occasionally turn into a statue thanks to the Problem our gods, They, gave me at birth, I would hate to be covered in crawlers when I could do nothing about it. In fact, as much as I hate turning into stone at random times, I am glad I don’t have my cousin Brett’s Problem. Every time he gets bit by a crawler his skin grows burning purple scales. Needless to say, he kills any crawler he sees before it can get him.
So while some people on Ausdine hate crawlers because of their Problem, most of the people I know who hate crawlers do so out of fear. This I have never understood. I hate lots of things, They making the top of the list, but that is because They affect my life in a negative way all the time. Crawlers don’t affect me at all. After all, they are really tiny and most of them are harmless. Of course, not all of them. I guess the only thing weirder than being afraid of harmless crawlers is being in love with crawlers that can kill you. If you ask me, I say live and let live. If crawlers don’t bother me then I won’t bother them. Of course, life is rarely that fair. If it were I’d be out of a job.
●●●
As a private investigator, I try to look for jobs that can make us easy money. I don’t consider it laziness to want to earn the same pay for less work. Of course, I rarely find one. Still, when Jasmin Nun, long-limbs covered in a uniquely shirred dress, came to us because she needed help finding her grandfather, my first thought was that it would be easy. She had a list of his friends, possible locations where he might be, and the name of his business partners. I figured we’d ask around and find out that he had traveled to Panthon for a weekend of gambling and shows. Ms. Nun had even given us the name of the hotel he stayed at when he did visit Panthon. Easy money.
And then she dropped the b-word, and I don’t mean bombshell. It turned out that the Battleboys were looking for him, also. When I asked why our local crime syndicate was interested in her grandfather Ms. Nun said she didn’t know. She had received a note from her grandfather warning her to be careful and when she tried to contact him, he was nowhere to be found. Fantastic. Our simple MP case had become a race against time because if there is one thing I hate, it is rescuing people from the Battleboys. Better if we find him first.
To find missing people I usually start by talking to their friends and associates. It is amazing what people will reveal if you just let them talk. Of course, it helps if the friend or associate is still among the living. As I stood looking at the body of one Dr. Theos Othen, business partner of the missing grandfather, I decided that he wasn’t going to tell me much. Finding dead bodies never makes my day, but finding dead bodies in a room full of poisonous eight-legged
crawlers makes me wish I had become a therapist.
Anda Leske, our newest partner, was looking at the tags on the dozens of clear jars that each contained one crawler. She was reading them out loud, and I realized I had never heard of most of these crawlers. How could there be so many different types on Ausdine? And why would someone put them all in one room?
I knew I had to call the police to come deal with the body of Dr. Othen, but I wanted the place to myself for a few minutes to see if the room held any clues regarding the whereabouts of our missing grandfather. This could take a while because Anda was engrossed with the jars, and Jet was standing outside the door refusing to come in.
There are lots of things I don’t know about Jet, but I figured that any guy whose Problem was that he turned into a giant once a month would have very few fears. It turns out that one of his fears is crawlers. It’s true that he’s below average in height most of the time, but surely if a crawler messed with him he would just squash it once he was in giant form.
“The Happy crawler lives in the wigs of clowns and lays its eggs in the ears of the people who wear the wigs. It then bites the ear so it swells up thus protecting the eggs.”
I stopped looking though the papers on the desk and stared at Anda. Today she wore a pants suit that was not quite orange, and not quite pink. She always dressed as ugly as possible to hide her glamour, but I thought today’s outfit was a bit much. “Thanks, Anda. Now I have another reason to never go to the three-ring show.”
She shook her head. “It says this crawler is only found on Gregos.”
I looked at Jet, who was seated far from the open door that we had found ajar. I had considered that our lucky break since to get inside the room required a handprint, an eye scan, and a blood sample. I doubted our luck once I found the body. “I wonder if that is why Jet refuses to come in.” I started to ask Anda a question, then paused to make it a statement so she could answer me since the inability to answer questions was her Problem. “It might be possible that Gregos has more poisonous eight-legged crawlers than Ausdine.”
In Stone Vol. 1-6: The First Six Travis Eldritch Problems (A Travis Eldritch Problem) Page 7