by Lane Hart
She has since replaced the chain, because I’m sure it wore out long ago, but she kept the locket all this time. And the way she was clutching it in such a desperate time tells me that she never stopped thinking about Arlo. Perhaps never stopped loving him.
And the fact that she didn’t forget me, that she’s worn that necklace every day of her life since I gave it to her…made something fracture deep inside of me. I feel like I’m torn into two different entities — the man who wants to destroy her…and the man who wants to protect her.
Victoria’s eyes meet mine and then glance down at the necklace. She smiles fondly, her eyes warm and happy, as if remembering the boy who gave it to her.
“It’s my good luck charm,” she explains. “I never take it off.”
I turn away from her as that metaphorical knife in my gut twists a little more until I can practically feel the physical pain from it.
But even though my old feelings might be resurfacing for Victoria, I know I have to shove them back down in the pit of my dark soul where they belong.
Arlo died that night in the fire. And like a phoenix, I arose from the ashes to get my revenge. I’ve been focused on vengeance for so long that nothing is going to take that away from me.
Not Victoria.
Not our memories together.
And certainly not love.
Chapter Twenty-One
Victoria
After getting attacked in the park, I was scared, too frightened to go home, even too fearful to go to the police. And so, when Damon offered for me to spend the night, I didn’t even hesitate to say yes.
If my mugger was working for Nolan Farrell, there’s nothing the police would do anyway. Farrell’s clan is protected by dirty cops with fat wallets; allowed to roam the streets, wreaking havoc and causing mayhem however they so choose.
And if my attacker wasn’t working for Farrell, the likelihood that he would even be caught is slim, at best. There are hundreds of muggings every day in this city, and I have no doubt that wasn’t the first time he’s done something like that. He’s obviously good at getting away with it.
I didn’t even see any of his features thanks to the ski mask covering his face. But I do remember his beady, brown eyes and his voice — his thick Irish accent and gravelly tone that will surely make an appearance in my nightmares tonight.
An uncontrollable shiver runs through me even though I’m standing under the hottest temperature of water I can tolerate in Damon’s shower.
A knock on the door has me jumping. “Victoria?” Damon calls. “I laid out some clothes in my bedroom for you when you’re done.”
“Thank you,” I say even though I’m sure the water drowned out my voice.
Sticking my face into the stream to wash away the rest of my tears, I finish showering and step out. Damon laid out a fluffy, white towel and I take my time drying off. I have so many cuts and bruises that I’m sure I’ll be a sore mess in the morning.
Walking over to the sink, I swipe my hand at the steam-covered mirror and stare at my reflection. There’s already a nasty bruise forming on my temple and my lip is busted where my attacker struck me. I look worse for wear.
Physically, I know I’ll heal.
But mentally…I’m going to be afraid every time I go running now. Afraid of getting attacked again.
My vision blurs as tears fill my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. I unleashed my emotions in the shower, and I refuse to shed another tear over what happened to me.
Gripping the towel tightly around me, I open the bathroom door and peer into Damon’s bedroom. He’s nowhere in sight, but I spot the clothes he laid out for me on his bed.
The large sleigh bed takes up most of the room. There is a dresser, a nightstand and a small closet that take up the rest.
The rest of his apartment matches this room — sparse and simple. If I didn’t know any better, I would say that Damon just moved in, but he had mentioned living here for a little over a year.
He does have a job that probably keeps him from home most of the time, so maybe he’s just not interested in sprucing the place up.
I unfold the clothes he set out and can’t help but grin when I see the black Nirvana t-shirt. Since Damon’s usually donning tailored suits or other expensive clothes, a concert tee is so out of the ordinary for him.
I pull it over my head and stick my legs through a pair of his boxers, rolling up the waistband so that they actually stay put.
Combing through my wet hair, I pat it dry before hanging up my towel in the bathroom.
Then, I walk out of Damon’s bedroom in search of him.
I find him lounging on the couch in a navy-blue tee and gray sweatpants. It’s quite the change from his usual attire, and I decide that I like it. I like it a lot.
He opens his arms for me, and I have to force myself not to run to him. When I lie on the couch next to him, he pulls me closer and places a kiss on the top of my head. It feels so damn good to be in his arms, and I’m surprised by how much I’ve missed him over the past week.
I lean my head against his chest and listen to his steady heartbeat. “What made you decide to run in the park today?” I ask.
His heart beats a little faster as he answers me. “I know you usually run in the park in the morning, so I thought maybe I’d run into you. You’ve been ignoring me, and…well, I was going crazy without you, Victoria.”
His confession hits me hard. I think in a way I was going crazy without him too. I don’t know what’s going on between us, but it feels like we’re meant to be. And today simply confirmed it.
It’s a miracle that he was in the park at the right place at the right time. If he wouldn’t have been there…
“Are you cold?” he asks when I shiver from the horrible thoughts running through my head.
I relax further into his arms. “No,” I whisper.
His heart beat lulls me to sleep, and I close my eyes, unable to keep them open any longer.
It’s much later into the night when I feel Damon tucking me into his bed. He curls up beside me when I stir. “I won’t let anyone ever hurt you again,” he vows before pulling me into his arms. Running his fingers lazily through my hair, my eyes flutter close.
And the last thing I hear him say is “Sleep, my sweet Victoria.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Victoria
Something happened to Damon after I spent the night at his place. I can’t really explain it myself, but the entire dynamic of our relationship shifted somehow.
Damon has changed.
But in a good way.
I think me spending a few nights in his personal space was the first step in building a lasting foundation to our relationship, and I couldn’t be happier.
Just when I thought I was ready to end things with him, I find myself being drawn back into his world. Now, I can’t wait for his phone calls or to hear his voice. And the more time we spend together, the more I fall desperately in love with him.
We’ve been officially dating for two months now, but it feels much longer since we’re constantly finding excuses to see each other. And with the holidays quickly approaching, I can’t imagine spending them without Damon.
He’s become such a huge part of my life that I can’t picture him not in it now.
Even though he doesn’t discuss his past, I feel like he’s slowly letting me into his heart.
“Wait, what do I do now?” Damon asks, pulling me from my thoughts.
“Slice and dice. Like this,” I tell him before showing him how to cut up the vegetables for the salad.
Tonight, we’re making dinner at my place. We’ve been doing a lot of that lately — cooking and just spending time together. I enjoy his company immensely, and I miss him terribly when he’s gone.
We take turns spending the night at my place or his, but we always end up together somehow.
The sex has been incredible, but also distracting since we can’t seem to keep our hands off each other.
/>
Just like now when Damon sidles up to me and places his hands on my hips. “Show me how to…slice and dice,” he whispers slow and sexy into my ear, and I can’t help but giggle. One of his hands travels up to cup my breast while the other ventures under the waistband of my yoga pants. “Fuck, you’re not wearing any panties,” he hisses.
His fingers tease my clit, and I drop the knife on the counter. “Damon, remember the last time you did this? I burnt dinner.”
“Fuck the food,” he growls before ripping down my pants. “There’s something else I’m hungry for.”
Squealing as he lifts me up in his strong arms, I hold on for dear life as he takes me into the living room and throws me down on the couch.
“You’re such a caveman,” I tell him with a roll of my eyes.
“Me. Eat. Now,” he growls, and I squeal with laughter as he pounces on top of me.
This is the Damon I only get to see now and then when he hides brooding, serious Damon. I like this Damon. I only wish I got to see him more often.
Damon covers me with kisses, his mouth going lower and lower until he reaches the apex of my thighs.
His talented tongue finds my clit, and he licks me into oblivion.
Just as I’m having one of the best orgasms of my entire life…I smell smoke…and then I hear an annoying beeping sound.
“Oh shit!” I cry out before pushing him off of me. I run into the kitchen and try to salvage the spaghetti on the stove, but it’s too late. It looks like a mass of blackened noodles and tomato sauce in the pot.
Fanning the smoke away from the smoke detector on the wall with a dishtowel, I stare at Damon in disbelief as he licks his lips, the same lips that were just on me, and flashes me his signature smirk.
“You owe me another pot,” I tell him before dumping my ruined one in the sink.
“How many is that now?”
“Two…or three…” I say before face-palming myself. I make a mental note to pick up some microwave dinners…or something that doesn’t require a stove to make.
“At least we have salad to eat.”
Smiling, I turn to him and say, “Maybe I’m hungry for something other than food now too.”
“Oh really?” He leans back against the wall and reaches down to grab ahold of his erection jutting out of the sweatpants sitting low on his hips.
I can see the full outline of his hard length, and I can’t help but wonder who invented gray sweatpants for guys, because I’d like to write them a thank you letter.
“Well, I hope you’re really hungry.”
“Starving,” I tell him with a shrewd grin.
Dropping to my knees in front of him, I pull at the waistband of his pants. His erection bobs free in front of my face.
God, he’s so huge.
His cock is long and hard, the large, smooth head glistening at the tip. My tongue slowly flicks out of my mouth to lick the salty drop from him.
That's when the first groan of pleasure wrenches from his chest, and it only spurs me on. I lick around the crown over and over again, getting it nice and wet. His upper back falls against the wall as he watches my every move with half-lidded, lust-filled eyes while quick pants escape his lungs through parted lips.
His dick hardens to pure steel when I wrap my lips around the head of his cock and take him deeper into my mouth.
While his eyes are on me, watching me, I lick him from root to tip. A shiver takes over his body, as I move my tongue down to his balls, licking and sucking them into my mouth. This time, he can't control the groans coming from deep within his chest.
"Oh, fuck, Victoria," he growls out.
I lick my way to the head once again before sucking him into my mouth. His hands grip my hair on either side of my head as he thrusts into my mouth, going deeper and deeper until I'm gagging.
"Fuck," he hisses through gritted teeth as he pumps harder and harder. He’s staring at me with such intensity, and I moan around his cock.
Tears fill my eyes as I stare up at him, but I don't try to pull back. I place my hands on his thighs for support, but I don't push him away. Damon’s hips pump upward into my working mouth, and I can tell he's close by the way his jaw is clenched tight and ticking with restraint.
"Your mouth feels so good. So damn good," he growls. And then his thrusts grow erratic as he erupts inside of my mouth and onto my lips. His muscular thighs tremble under my touch, and his chest rises and falls rapidly with gasping, jagged breaths.
When his breathing finally calms down, he releases the grip on my hair and stares down at me.
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he says, panting.
And then, putting his hands under my arms, he hauls me up and kisses me. Hard.
He kisses me like he can’t ever imagine letting me go.
And, in that moment, I feel like our life together is great.
Perfect even.
I just hope our little bubble of happiness doesn’t decide to suddenly burst anytime soon.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Damon
Having Victoria spend every night this week at my place has been a mixture of good and bad.
Good because I love spending time with her.
I love the fact that her face is the last thing I see before I go to sleep and the first thing I see when I wake up in the morning.
I love knowing that she’s safe, here, in my arms.
But the bad part is that I’m growing fond of her. I’m growing too close to her.
Victoria has inched her way into my cold, dark heart, and I don’t know how to purge her from my system.
Her scent runs wild inside of my veins.
Her smile is ingrained in my brain.
And her moans of pleasure echo inside my ears.
“Fuck, I’m such a fool,” I tell my reflection in the mirror after my shower. Our entire relationship is a runaway train on a track that can only end in one way and one way only — a collision course with a dead end, a brick wall.
There is no easy way out of this, and no way to turn back now. I’m in too deep. I’m too close to my goal.
And when Victoria finds out what I’ve done…what I’m continuing to do…and what I still plan on doing, she’ll never forgive me.
I know all of that, yet still I cannot stay away from her.
It’s like I’m an addict, and she’s my preferred brand of heroin.
Even though we’ve been together almost twenty-four-fucking-seven over the past few months, sometimes that doesn’t feel like enough.
I’m a fucking goner. Head over heels in love with a girl I can never truly have and who will hate me when she finds out the truth.
I hear Victoria’s phone ringing in the other room. Not wanting to eavesdrop, but simply not being able to help myself, I go to the bathroom door and crack it open to listen to her conversation.
“It’s okay, Sue. We’ll figure it out,” Victoria tells her in a voice that’s supposed to sound calm and collected, but even I can hear the panic and doubt in her tone. “I don’t know…I know…we’ll just have to…I’ll think of something and call you back.”
When I emerge from the bathroom, Victoria is sitting on the edge of my bed with a worried look on her face. She’s biting her thumbnail, taking out her frustration on that poor nail.
When she looks up at me, I see a sense of relief fall over her face. And once again, I feel like a fucking scumbag. Victoria looks at me like I’m her saving grace, but that couldn’t be any farther from the truth right now.
“What’s wrong?” I ask her softly while sitting down on the bed next to her.
Victoria takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “That was Sue from the soup kitchen. At some point last night, there was a water leak. It ruined the dining hall ceiling and triggered the main breaker. Without power to the refrigerator, all the food they had ready for the big Thanksgiving meal is ruined.” She puts her head in her hands. “I don’t know what to do, Damon.”
Her voice
is so despondent that it makes my heart ache for her. Victoria really cares about that place and the people in it, and that, in turn, makes me care, which is something completely new for me.
“So, we’ll replace the food,” I offer.
“It’s not that easy. You’re talking about a ton of food that hundreds, if not thousands, of people donated over the past week or so.”
Grabbing her by the shoulders and turning her to face me, I tell her, “Victoria, we’ll replace the food and take care of the water damage. I’m going to help you fix this. All of it.”
Tears shimmer in her eyes as she wraps her arms around me and tugs me close to her. “Thank you, Damon,” she breathes. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”
Holding her close, I feel the guilt slithering up my spine.
“Ditto,” I whisper into her hair. I hold her a little tighter then, afraid to let her go. I know there will soon come a time when I have to let her go for good, and I don’t know how I’ll ever survive it.
This girl is going to be the death of me.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Victoria
When Damon told me he would help me fix it all, he wasn’t kidding. After several phone calls, we have people helping us tear out the ceilings while local grocery stores are bringing in truckloads of food to replace everything that was lost.
Sue couldn’t be happier, and she keeps running around the kitchen with tears in her eyes and the biggest smile on her face that I’ve ever seen her wearing.
I would have asked my father for help since he has more money than he knows what to do with, but he loathes places like this and chastises me often for volunteering here. He thinks my time would be better spent at parties and mingling with the rich and famous rather than actually helping people who need it.
But we got it done without his help, and I’m proud of the fact that I didn’t need to depend on him for this.