by Lane Hart
Every maneuver was precision. Every choice, calm and calculated. He was total fucking control, and it was sexy.
He was sexy, I realized. Not just because he was a master behind the wheel, but because he somehow mastered everything. The night had gone to shit around us, yet he still managed to come out on top. No matter what I’d tried, he’d outmaneuvered me. Even when I’d kissed him, he’d held the upper hand.
And Lord, how I’d kissed him.
I hated to admit it, but I’d liked that kiss a lot. I liked the way his lips softened, and how his chest vibrated when he’d moaned. How he’d welcomed my assault and absorbed my aggression. The way I could still taste him, even now.
Arousal laced through me, heating me up from the inside out. The staccato rhythm of my heart pulsed frantic, matched by the hungry need of my libido. Freedom might be better than an orgasm, but I really wanted to get off. I needed it. Badly. I couldn’t remember the last time I had. Fuck, l couldn’t even remember the last time I’d wanted to.
With my knees pressed together, I tried to ride out the sensation, ignoring the impulse to stare at Bodhi’s impressive profile.
He wasn’t pretty, yet he was darkly handsome. Devilishly fit, he looked just as nice in a suit as he had in cargoes. He had fine lines around eyes, but they didn’t age him, they made him look smart and good natured, like he laughed a lot, but only at his own jokes, since no one else was as witty. Because yes, he really was a cocky son-of-a-bitch. You could see his attitude in his smirk. But most appealing were his hands… God, don’t get me started on his hands. They were far too capable, and when they were on me, felt far too good.
Fuck, what was wrong with me? This man should repulse me. I hated everything he stood for, everything he represented. He was a murderer. Cold blooded and cold fucking hearted. I’d be better off with my own fingers, or the rumbled vibrations of the goddamn car. Yet, I was stupidly desperate for him. Insatiable.
But no matter how bad the craving, now wasn’t the time to be weak.
Not with a man like him. Not with Bodhi Decker.
Tamping down hard on my appetite, I turned to stare out the window, allowing my vision to relax and soften as I watched the world pass by in a blur.
Less than an hour later, we pulled off the highway, into Hartford, Connecticut—a two-hour drive in less than half the time.
I hadn’t been out of the city much in the past year, leisured travel wasn’t exactly on my agenda, but now that I was here, and even though circumstances weren’t any better, I felt calm enough to appreciate the picturesque town around me.
It was peaceful. The buildings were Victorian-pretty, set back off the street, with trees clustered in yards and on corners. It was dark, but even under the warm halo of street lights, everything looked green and lush. Quiet and clean. It looked like the type of place where people were fruitful and happy. Where they didn’t just survive. They thrived.
“We need to ditch the car,” Bodhi mused as we prowled through the sleepy streets. It was barely after midnight, but we were one of the only cars on the road. “We need to stay hidden.”
“We’re going into hiding?”
“Yes, Kira. If you want to find your sister, we need a plan. That means intel and resources, everything you’ve got. Which also means we lay low for a day or two, while we figure it out.”
Bodhi’s words brought reality crashing back down around me. My operation was in shambles, and there was no turning back. This town, the car, the feeling of being free—it was all just an illusion. A lie. And just like all the other lies I’d told myself in the past, when it broke, it left nothing but black and bitter disappointment in its wake.
This night hadn’t just fallen apart, it had fucking imploded.
“There’s nothing to figure out,” I bristled, forcing back the threat of tears. “Nori’s gone, and I’ll never find her because you’ve fucked up my last chances.”
“I thought you wanted my help. You still don’t trust me, kitten?”
Rage flashed through me. It mixed with my never-ending sadness, swelling my throat and blurring my vision. I was weak. Helpless. Hopeless. I hated those feelings, and Bodhi even more for inciting them.
“Can we just be done with this charade, already?” I roared. “I’m done with false promises and fake charms. This isn’t who you are. You’re not going to save the damsel in distress. You’re a killer. A murderer. Men like you are the reason she needs saving in the first place.”
The car swerved viciously, flinging me sideways in my seat and knocking my head against the window. Just as suddenly, I was jolted forward, the seatbelt pulling painfully across my chest as the car came to a dead stop at the side of the road.
“What the fuck?” I gasped.
Bodhi was silent, his hands gripping the wheel, knuckles white with tension. When he finally turned to me, it was with a hard and deadly glare. “Men like me?” he questioned. “Or men like Sasha Belkin?”
Pain flared through my chest. It flashed and burned, leaving me breathless. Speechless.
“You don’t know me,” Bodhi answered, his voice low and chilling. “You think I kill randomly? No care? No selection?” His lips twisted to a snarl as his hands wrung tight over the wheel. “You don’t know a goddamn thing. I’m not just a killer, Kira. I’m an exterminator. Men like me are the reason people in this country sleep at night.”
“But you get paid to do it,” I whispered. It was my only defense.
He slammed his hand hard on the console. “Who cares if one criminal pays me to kill another?” he barked. “Am I supposed to feel guilty for that?”
His hard stare didn’t falter.
But my conviction did.
For the first time, Bodhi’s cool disposition had slipped, and I couldn’t help but wonder if I’d grossly misjudged him. Were there real feelings hiding beneath his cocky veneer, or was this more manipulation? Maybe he wasn’t the cold, ruthless man I’d thought.
Or maybe he was. But maybe that was a good thing.
Still, I couldn’t answer his question. I didn’t know the answer. Was he supposed to feel guilty? How could I know that, when all I felt was repentance, rage and sadness? Agony, anger, and regret were my driving forces. I let those feelings fuel and guide me—let them take right the fuck over, whenever they wanted.
I might not be a killer, but the mistakes I’d made, the crimes I’d committed, they’d cost others their lives, and worse. Far, far worse.
Lost in a flood of my own guilty despair, I avoided his intense scrutiny. I went back to staring out my window, touching my fingers lightly to the goose egg forming on the side of my head.
After a long, painful silence, Bodhi finally gave up on me. Putting the car into gear, he drove another few blocks before pulling into a hospital parking garage.
“Get out,” he ordered, his hands still frozen on the wheel and the engine still running.
Closing my eyes on a sigh, I unbuckled myself and swung the door open, defeat setting in as my feet hit the ground. Not only had I ruined an opportunity to find Nori, but now I was going to be abandoned in Hartford. All because I refused to give in. I didn’t trust him. I would never trust him, but Bodhi’s skill might be the one thing I needed to find Nori, and I’d thrown it away because I was too stubborn to even pretend.
The echo of the door closing behind me was loud and final. I stood for a moment. Waiting. Hoping. But the car continued to idle, and I realized hope was for children and fools.
My heels clicked over the pavement, my heart sinking further with each step, but I kept putting one foot in front of the other, my head held high.
Fall down seven times, stand up eight.
The soft purr of the engine died suddenly, followed by the slam of a door.
“This way,” he ordered, cutting in front of me, heading toward the hospital with a backpack slung over his shoulder.
Silently, I thanked the universe as I followed without question.
He stalked across the
parking lot, like a prowler dressed in Armani. The harsh lights cast long shadows, concealing him in plain sight. Like a mystery of the night, he became part of the darkness. Enigmatic and deadly.
A chill ran through me as I strode to keep up.
Passing the emergency entrance, I caught my reflection in the sliding glass doors, and cringed at the sight. I looked like a high-class hooker. Messy hair, smeared make-up, and a dirt-covered dress that showed off all my assets. Not that I had much to show, but my neckline was exposed almost to my navel and my bare legs flashed with each long stride.
Thankfully, we kept walking. The lights dimmed as we rounded the corner, where Bodhi stopped beside a door. He didn’t try to open it, he just dropped his bag to the ground and leaned against the building, his gaze anywhere but on me.
I didn’t know what we were doing, hanging around a hospital in Hartford. Still, even without a clue, I didn’t have the balls to question him. At least, not on this, and not right now.
I may be standing, but all my fight had been lost to regret. It hounded my conscience, making me weak. The hope of finding Nori still seemed distant—next to impossible—but it was fear of failing Anna that was breaking me down. Cracking my soul.
What if she lost me, too?
The thought was debilitating. So, instead of entertaining it, I took Bodhi’s lead and looked for something else to occupy my attention. Anything, other than him.
After a long, drawn out silence, the magnetic door lock clicked open and three women in scrubs filed out, chatting animatedly. They didn’t seem to notice Bodhi waiting against the wall, but they sure did notice me. I guessed it was hard not to, when I was standing in the middle of their path. Still, I wondered what they must be thinking. What kind of woman did they see?
Hopefully, not a whore—the dress wasn’t cheap.
One of the women paused as the other two passed by. Popping a cigarette in her mouth, she looked to me with concerned question written on her pretty face.
“Hope you weren’t planning to light that,” Bodhi drawled from behind her, stepping out of the shadows.
Wincing, she removed the cigarette from her mouth. “So what if I was?”
“You might be too old for grounding but there can still be consequences. It’s my job to look after you.”
“You said you were taking a break.” The woman turned, rebelliously stabbing her cigarette toward him. “Yet, here you are, and you look like shit. Don’t get on my back about bad habits when yours are worse.”
“That’s debatable.” He plucked the smoke from her hand and tucked it behind his ear.
She crossed her arms, not bothering to protest his theft. “Why are you here, Bodhi?” His name left her lips on a frustrated sigh, making me wonder the same.
Why were we here? Who the hell was this woman?
“I need a favor.”
“Let me guess, you opened it back up, didn’t you?”
His glare intensified. “Yes, smart-ass. I need access to your place for a couple of hours.”
“What’s mine is yours, Bodhi. Always. You know that.”
Bodhi didn’t respond to her softness, but the tight line between his brows eased as he nodded, his gaze landing at my feet.
“You any good with stitches?” She turned, addressing me like we were old friends. Like it was perfectly normal to find Bodhi with a disheveled woman in a cocktail dress, hanging outside a hospital in the early hours of the morning.
“Not really,” I answered.
“Yeah, I didn’t think so. You look more the type to cause the injury than to fix it.”
Bodhi’s bark of laughter was loud and shocking. Rich and melodic. It echoed through the stillness, bringing the night to life. The moon glowed a little brighter, the stars twinkled in delight, and somewhere in the distance an owl returned a hoot.
My insides sparked as well, shrugging off the tired gloom.
This wasn’t a show of cocky sarcasm. He wasn’t getting off on his own joke or aiming to pull anyone in with his charm. This laugh was unfiltered. Genuine.
Fuck, I liked it.
Her eyes widened as she stared at me in awe. “You’re the one,” she whispered.
“Shut up, Sunshine.” Bodhi’s tone was hard, no trace of humor remaining.
“The one?” I questioned.
Her focus fixed on me, ignoring Bodhi’s growled warning. “Yes, the one. He told me about you.” She leaned in, inviting me to lean in too, making me her co-conspirator. “Said he had to hunt you down.”
“Seriously, Sunny, shut your mouth.”
“He’s not usually such a whiny little bitch,” she continued, clearly not concerned for her personal safety. “I think that means he has a crush on you, but I’m not sure. I don’t think he’s ever had a crush before.”
“Sunshine!”
With a dramatic roll of her eyes, she straightened, her chin jutting at Bodhi in defiance. “I hope she’s the reason you need new stitches.”
She was vivacious, sarcastic, and unapologetically brash. I adored her, whoever she was.
“Key’s in the usual spot.” She nudged Bodhi’s tense shoulder before snatching her cigarette back from him. “Now, since I’m an adult, I’m going to go poison my lungs while they’re still young and healthy. Nice to meet you…?”
“Kira,” Bodhi offered, before I had the chance.
He was wearing a scowl, but he spoke my name with admiration. He said it softly, his voice stroking over the word, making it sound important. Like I was important. Like he actually fucking cared.
The stars blurred out of focus, and I swayed on my feet. Air trapped in my lungs on a gasp.
Suddenly, Bodhi’s arm was wrapped around me, keeping me upright. “You all right?” he murmured.
Nodding, I pushed out of his hold. “Just tired,” I lied.
Was Bodhi the good fortune I’d been wishing for? A cock-sure, cold-blooded killer?
The universe had a sick sense of humor.
“Have a good night, you two.” Sunshine smiled, the cigarette dangling from her lips. “Try not to kill each other.”
Bodhi
Sticking to the shadows, I stole through the streets of Hartford with Kira trailing behind.
She’d been subdued since my outburst, shrugging off my assistance and avoiding my touch. Hell, she refused to even look me in the eye.
But maybe that was a good thing. After my outburst in the car, I wasn’t sure if I should be near her. I didn’t know how to course-correct.
My life was normally a routine of strict discipline. Each choice deliberate. Every move made with purpose. Everything in line, all the time. There were no questions. No hesitation. No fear.
There was order and purpose.
Until Kira.
She’d pushed me to an unseen boundary. Brought me to a place where pretending was impossible, and feeling was inevitable. When she looked at me, all she saw was lies and dirty money. A man who killed with no regret. She looked at me with despised fury, questioning my morals and motivations. She’d shoved so hard at my self-restraint—at my confidence—I’d started to wonder if she was right.
Maybe I was no better than the men we were running from. Men like Sasha Belkin.
Perhaps I deserved her disgust.
That thought pushed me even closer to the edge.
A crush. That’s what Sunshine had called this. She’d been teasing, of course, trying to get under my skin. Yet, there was no other explanation. No better description for this heavy weight sitting on my chest.
Pushing aside my emotional bullshit, I continued stalking ahead of her, leading the way across a darkened schoolyard, down a worn and bumpy path.
Coming here was a risk, and I knew it. Not just for us, but for my sister and everyone in this town. I didn’t like it, but I wasn’t sure where else to go. We couldn’t drive forever, not with the Russians on our ass. We were too easy to spot in that car, and I was certain they’d have called in reinforcements by now. The highway w
as a much bigger risk.
We needed somewhere safe to crash, and after a night full of the unexpected, I wanted a place that was familiar. So, I’d made absolute certain we’d lost the tail before driving the back roads into town. Now, we just needed to stay out of sight.
Crossing into Sunshine’s neighborhood, we crept past parked cars, tip-toed over gardens, and avoided the nocturnal critters who were heading back home to sleep.
My sister’s house was like the rest—red brick, black slated roof, and a large covered porch that wrapped around. It was old and needed work, but it was homey. And right now, it was our best option.
Kira had fallen farther behind, but the echo of her heels on the long, paved driveway reassured she was still with me. For now.
The door code for the garage hadn’t changed, and I punched it in without problem. It was the same code in place when we’d bought the house. The neighbors probably all knew it by now, but nobody here cared. No one in this town seemed to fear for their safety, Sunshine included.
At least she kept the spare key well hidden.
I was fishing it out of the jar of nails when Kira finally caught up. She hesitated briefly in the doorway, her eyes surveying the space.
She looked tired, rumpled, and uncertain. Like a warrior who’d been knocked around. Yet, even in her run-down state, she was stunning. The knife strapped to her leg reminded me she was also vicious.
Silently, I unlocked the door to the house, holding it open for her in invitation. Once inside, with the lights on and the door closed, I knew I needed to face her, but coming clean about my reactions felt impossible. Insurmountable.
I didn’t want to face myself.
Dropping my bag on the old, scratched-up table, I surveyed the familiar French country style kitchen, searching for the right thing to say.
“So, Sunshine…?” Kira questioned. She still refused to meet my eyes, but at least she’d started conversation.
“She’s my sister.”
“Really?” she mused, looking over the distressed cabinets. “I’m surprised. I didn’t picture you as much of a family man, but you two seem close.”