by Amelia Autin
He tugged at one end of the single bow tying Rennie’s diaphanous wrapper and drew it from her body, draping it over the towel bar. He grasped her slender waist and pulled her close, noting the delicate pink flags coloring her cheeks when their naked bodies brushed.
“Every time I think I know you, you surprise me,” he whispered, loving everything about her—from shy blushes to sexy fantasies. A sudden tightness in his chest made breathing difficult. “Just who are you, Rennie, really?”
Her eyes never leaving his, she took his hand and placed it over her rapidly beating heart, a heart that he knew beat for him alone. “I’m the woman who loves you.”
He closed his eyes and swallowed. “And I love you so damned much it scares me. If I lost you...”
“You’re never going to lose me, Gideon. Never.” She strained against him, offering her love and herself as one.
His fingers slid through her hair, anchoring her head in place for a kiss, but she wasn’t going anywhere he didn’t go. She pressed her body all along his, trembling slightly, but Gideon knew it was from desire, not fear.
“Wrap your legs around me,” he urged, lifting her with powerful arms.
She did as he commanded, the soft flesh of her thighs gripping his hips with surprising strength. He groaned, caught her lips for one more kiss, then stepped into the oversize tub and sat down. Water sloshed against the sides of the tub in a tidal wave, some splashing onto the floor. Neither cared. The water lapped at their heated bodies, an elemental, sensual caress, and they both shivered.
Fantasy gave way to reality, the reality of lips and hands and overflowing hearts. They bathed each other slowly, building the anticipation to fever pitch, testing the limits of their endurance.
Gideon was the first to break. “No more,” he said, catching her wrists and dragging her hands away, bringing them up to his face. “Not this way. Not this time.” He pressed a kiss into each open palm, then let her go.
He rose, water streaming from his magnificently aroused body, and stepped out of the tub. “Stay there,” he told her, quickly drying himself off. Then he helped her from the tub and dried her carefully. The slight roughness of the towel made her vibrantly aware of every inch of skin it touched, and even places where it didn’t. Her hair was damp where she had lain against him at one point, and he rubbed it dry as well. Afterward, she would have wrapped the towel around herself, but he took it away from her.
“The scars don’t matter, Rennie. Don’t hide from me. Please.”
She met his gaze and knew there was no reason to. Not anymore. “I won’t. Never again.”
He carried her into the bedroom. He drew back the covers and laid her on the bed, then just knelt beside her for a moment, gazing down at her with such undisguised love and desire that Rennie’s heart nearly burst. She held out her arms to him mutely, and he came down into her embrace.
Despite the height of their mutual arousal, or perhaps even because of it, they weren’t in any hurry. This wasn’t sex, it was love, and they both wanted to savor the difference. This was the true beginning of their marriage, and everything that had gone before faded into insignificance.
In planning this night Rennie had put clean sheets on their bed, and the fresh-scented, fine linen was soft and cool beneath them. Gideon stretched out beside her, propped up on one arm, two fingers tracing a pattern from her shoulders to her sensitive breasts.
“You are so beautiful, Rennie. Just like you were that first night you came to me. I’ve never forgotten.”
Her heart skipped a beat, then sped up. “I wanted to be beautiful—for you.”
“You were. Like something out of a dream, my dream. When I’m ninety I’ll still be able to close my eyes and see you standing in that doorway, so beautiful you took my breath away.”
His hand sought and found one rosy-tipped peak. His fingers circled it, drawing shudders of pleasure from Rennie and sending hot pulses through his manhood.
She shifted onto her side so her hand could reach him and inflict the same exquisite torture he was inflicting on her. Her fingers discovered the flat disk of his nipple, tracing the nubby outer ring, then moving toward the tiny center.
“I wanted you so much that night,” she said, her voice as soft as velvet. “I was so nervous I was shaking, but I wanted you. Just like I want you now.”
“God, I love you, Rennie. Now and always.”
“Oh, Gideon.” She kissed him, and it was like throwing gasoline on burning coals. Their mouths clung, as did their hands, and they moved restlessly closer, legs tangling.
The waiting, the anticipating, was over. He parted her legs and drew them up on either side of his hips, settling within the cradle they created. He entered her with a sure thrust, making her gasp and quiver with intense pleasure.
He filled her, just as she’d filled him. He’d been so empty, so alone, and now she stood within that empty place inside him, filling him with so much love he didn’t know how to tell her. So he showed her.
He found her mouth with his, tasting the sweetness that was like no other. Then he ducked his head in search of more unique flavors, rasping his tongue across the hardened tips of her breasts, loving the way she shuddered and tightened around him.
His hips began a primeval rhythm, stroking in and out of her clinging warmth, alternating between shallow and deep. He told himself to be gentle, to go slow, but she wouldn’t let him. She took him, all of him, inside her, locking her ankles around his thighs and urging him on with soft moans and clutching hands.
He had no control left. Again and again he thrust his surging body into her eager depths, thinking each stroke must be the last, but unable to govern his body’s continued plunges toward completion. And then he couldn’t think at all, just feel. He was so hard, achingly hard, and her softness measured him, swallowed him, engulfed him.
The end came swiftly. Rennie stiffened beneath him, arching upward and crying his name, her body’s involuntary pulsations drawing him in deeper. His muscles clenched for one last lunge. Embedding himself in her throbbing, welcoming heat, he surrendered the essence of life.
Trembling, drained of almost all strength, he used the last of it to lower his body on hers, careful not to crush her. He shifted slightly, removing some of his weight, but still staking a primitive claim. Peace invaded him, the aftermath of the storm that had raged only a moment before. He brushed his lips against the tantalizing softness of her throat, then pillowed his head in the hollow between her arm and her breast.
He sighed, a deep, contented sound, curled his arm around her waist and gently nuzzled the velvet peak so near to him. As he drifted into sleep, he whispered the thought uppermost in his mind.
“I love you, Rennie.”
Rennie lay awake, exulting in the weight of Gideon’s body on hers. The warmth of his breath against her breast sent shivers of aftershocks throughout her system.
That he’d fallen asleep so quickly didn’t bother her. He’d already given her more than she’d ever imagined. His control had deserted him for the first time in all their times together, proving beyond words his need for her, as great as her need for him.
She caressed him gently, savoring the precious knowledge that he loved her, and envisioning the future they would build, together.
Then her conscience tugged at her heart, reminding her that any life she built with Gideon was based on a lie. A silent lie, but a lie, nevertheless. I can only hurt him by confessing the truth, she pleaded with that still, small inner voice. He loves me now, and he’s happy. Isn’t that what matters?
But it took a long time to convince herself.
* * *
Gideon woke from a light, dreamless sleep, in the arms of the woman he loved.
“You’re awake.” The voice was Rennie’s, but the tone was one he’d never heard from her before. It hinted at all sorts of wonderful, highly pleasurable things, and held a touch of possessiveness that was akin to the way he felt about her. Mine, it seemed to say, an emot
ion he’d become very familiar with recently.
He stretched indolently. “How long have I been asleep?”
“About an hour.”
“Damn.” But the word was uttered without heat. “I had big plans for tonight, and none of them included sleeping.”
Rennie peered at the clock on the nightstand. “It’s still early, only nine-thirty.”
“Good.” He yawned and stretched again, then rolled onto his back, pulling her to sprawl on top of him. “So tell me,” he said with a soft, teasing drawl, “any more fantasies you’d like to try out?”
She chuckled deep in her throat, cuddling against him. “This is the best one I can think of,” she told him, smiling but serious. She pressed a quick kiss against his shoulder. “Just being here with you, knowing you love me.”
His throat ached suddenly, and his voice turned husky. “I do, you know. I haven’t had a lot of practice saying it lately, but give me time. I’ll get better.”
She rubbed her cheek against the downy hair covering his chest and snuggled closer. “You’ve done all right so far.” She reached around behind her and grabbed a corner of the top sheet, drawing it over them.
“Cold?”
“Just a little.”
“I’ll warm you up.”
His hands trailed down her back, leaving tingling warmth in their wake. He stopped when he reached her buttocks, cupping them in his big hands and pulling her flush with his body. He was already semiaroused, and she angled one leg to allow him to fit better at the juncture of her thighs.
“Mmm. I like that,” he rumbled.
“Me, too.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“What else do you like?”
She raised her head and gazed at him, her heart in her eyes. “Everything you do to me.”
That earned her a kiss. He lifted her so he could reach her mouth, then lingered over it. When he finally let her go, his hands slipped down to tease the sides of her breasts. She made a breathy little sound, and he felt her nipples tighten. His sex responded predictably, swelling and surging upward.
“Open for me,” he whispered, and when she did he slid inside. Her body closed around him, and he groaned in satisfaction.
She braced herself and pushed downward, forcing him deeper, and deeper still, until he was buried to the hilt. She moaned, rocking a little, and moaned again.
“Hold still,” he told her, wedging a hand between their bodies. His fingers found her, stroking through the folds of her body and caressing the tiny nub of flesh there. She tensed and arched away from the unbearably arousing touch, but he caught her with his other hand and held her firmly in place.
“Don’t fight it,” he whispered against her ear. “Let it go.”
She caught her breath on his name and did just that, her head thrown back, her body exploding with mindless pleasure. She sank down on his chest, gulping air into her depleted lungs. She lay there for several minutes, unable to move. When she finally recovered, she propped herself up to look at him. She was a little shocked at the swiftness of it all—from arousal to satisfaction had taken only moments. She searched his face and asked, “Why did you do that?”
He gave her a very satisfied, very male smile. “It was one of my fantasies.”
“But you didn’t...” She licked her dry lips.
“Yeah. I know.” He thrust his hips upward, pressing his swollen flesh deep inside her, then rolled them both over. “Now it’s my turn.”
* * *
Afterward they both dozed, their bodies one lump beneath the covers. Finally Rennie stirred inside the cocoon of warmth they’d created. Awake already, Gideon shifted to accommodate her.
“What time is it?” she mumbled.
“After midnight.” He carefully brushed her hair away from her face and drew her into the curve of his arm. She nestled there for a few moments, her eyes closed, then smiled and sighed. It was an exhausted but contented sound.
Her eyes still closed, she asked, “How long have you been awake?”
“A few minutes.”
She yawned, then swallowed dryly. “I’m thirsty.” She yawned again and snuggled closer to Gideon, almost dozing off once again.
“Hey. Wake up.” He shook her gently. “Rennie, come on. Wake up.”
“I’m awake.” She yawned a third time.
He laughed and sat up, bringing her with him. His lips grazed hers. “Come on, sweetheart. You’re thirsty and I’m starving. Let’s go raid the kitchen.”
“Okay.” She slipped out of his arms and plopped back onto the pillows.
He laughed again, and the mattress sagged as he moved to the side of the bed. That was the last Rennie knew before the mattress dipped beneath his weight once more.
Gideon punched up his pillow and settled back against the headboard, then lifted her boneless body and propped her against his shoulder. He reached for something and held it to her lips. “Drink.”
She obeyed, and cold milk slid down her throat. She shivered and her eyes flew open, awake at last. She shivered again and pushed the glass away. She frowned at him.
He set the glass on the nightstand, then grabbed a fistful of covers and pulled them up, tucking them under her arms. Satisfied, he picked up the pan of mint brownies she and Nicki had made that afternoon and held it out to her. “Brownie?” She shook her head. “I hope you don’t mind if I help myself, then,” he said, suiting his actions to his words.
Still dazed from sleep, she silently watched him eat three brownies in quick succession, washing them down with gulps of milk. “Sure you don’t want one?” he asked after the third brownie had disappeared.
She shook her head again, watching as he licked chocolate mint frosting from his fingers, then finished the last of the milk. She still hadn’t said anything when he moved the brownie pan and the glass to the nightstand.
He tilted her chin up with one slightly sticky finger for a chocolate-and-peppermint-flavored kiss. “I forgot how hard it is to wake you up in the middle of the night,” he said when he was done.
Nothing made much sense to her after such a short amount of sleep, and she gave him a quizzical look.
“Remember when we were stranded in the mountains by the rain,” he reminded her, “and I was supposed to wake you for the second-shift fire watch?” She nodded, the memory slowly coming back to her. “You did the same thing you did tonight, told me you were awake, then went back to sleep.”
“I remember,” she said, smiling a little now.
He slid down beneath the covers, taking her with him. Their arms went around each other. “It’s one of the little things I love about you,” he said, cuddling her close.
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Tell me more.”
He laughed. “Let me see. I love the way you blush when I tease you about sex.” He whispered something scandalously earthy, and she blushed on cue and hid her face. “God, I do love that.”
“What else?” she said from the depths of his shoulder.
“Well, it’s kind of selfish, I know, but I love the way you always try to please me in small ways.”
“You mean, like baking mint brownies because they’re your favorite?”
“That’s exactly what I mean.” He twined his fingers with hers.
“I just want you to be happy.”
“I am. You make me happy, Rennie, just by being here.”
“I’m glad.”
He was silent for a moment, then said softly, “But I guess the thing I love the most is the way you’ve taught me to believe in love again.” In the privacy of their bedroom, in the middle of the night, he could say these things to her. “After I lost Jo I built a wall around my heart. I didn’t want to love you,” he confessed. “I wanted to stay safe behind that wall. But you tore it down, and showed me that the only thing worse than loving and losing is not loving at all. I couldn’t help loving you, Rennie. I just wanted you to know.”
“Oh
, Gideon.” She gave him a misty smile. “I couldn’t help loving you, either.” She laid her hand over his thudding heart and kissed him.
* * *
Rennie woke early the next morning, feeling well and truly loved. Filled with unusual energy, she still lay beside Gideon for a while, watching him sleep the same way she’d watched Andrew sleep the day before.
Finally she touched her fingers to her lips and transferred the kiss to his cheek. She slipped from the bed, careful not to waken him, and padded barefoot to the bathroom. She winced a little and thought about taking a bath to ease her various aches, but decided she’d shower in the bath off the kitchen, instead. And she’d wait until Gideon was awake before cleaning up the mess they’d left in this bathroom the night before.
She grabbed her nightshirt from behind the bathroom door and pulled it over her head. She might have come a long way in overcoming her physical shyness around her husband last night, but she wasn’t the type to go traipsing naked through the house, even if they were alone.
She grabbed her toothbrush, crept into the bedroom for her comb and a pair of clean undies from the dresser, then crept out and made her way toward the kitchen.
Fifteen minutes later, showered, teeth brushed, and with her freshly washed hair curling damply around her face, she reentered the kitchen with a sense of purpose. Gideon would be famished when he woke, and she wanted to have breakfast ready for him. Humming softly, she ground coffee beans and started a pot of coffee, then gathered the ingredients for buttermilk pancakes, one of his favorites. She mixed the batter in a squat pitcher, and put it to one side. Then she set the table for two, using the good china for a change.
She smiled to herself as she made a fresh pitcher of apple juice, another of Gideon’s favorites, and set it in the refrigerator to chill. At the same time she took out the maple syrup and set it on the table, remembering his words of the night before. “...I love the way you always try to please me in small ways....”
It was true, and she enjoyed doing it. Even such a simple thing as making his favorite breakfast gave her pleasure, and if it meant she was hopelessly old-fashioned in that respect, well, that was all right with her.